Apr 21, 2017
Friday April 21, 2017 ~ New bullet journal means new spreads.
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Friday April 21, 2017 ~ New bullet journal means new spreads.
Why My Bad Days are so Bad --- New Revelations from a New Year
Up until this point (high school) I've been the good girl who always did what mommy and daddy said and never worried about a thing as long as I obeyed them, as my high school career progresses and my work load gets heavier I'm finding that increasingly hard. My parents have always enforced good grades and punished bad ones, I never had a C until freshman year. I'm finding that the more I try, the more I feel like I'm going nuts. I completely shut down, emotionally and mentally and any chance I have in problem resolution is toast. The more I'm seeing it the more I'm realizing how much I lack in emotional and personal maturity. Everyone has always told me who I am, my identity was what my mom and dad told me it was. They had to be right, they had watched me grow up. But the more I try to align myself with their idea of me the worse my anxiety seems to get. They hold me to a standard that I can't reach. I shut down, I become defensive and reactive, and I forget that they aren't trying to hurt me. This year I HAVE to find my own values, I HAVE to redefine who I am through my own view, I HAVE to stop relying on other people for my identity or else it very well may be my undoing. In 2017 it's time I let the 'good girl', the 'theatre kid', the 'perfect' me disappear. It's time to figure out who I really am.