#identity post

[textbooktightrope-blog]

Why My Bad Days are so Bad --- New Revelations from a New Year

Up until this point (high school) I've been the good girl who always did what mommy and daddy said and never worried about a thing as long as I obeyed them, as my high school career progresses and my work load gets heavier I'm finding that increasingly hard. My parents have always enforced good grades and punished bad ones, I never had a C until freshman year. I'm finding that the more I try, the more I feel like I'm going nuts. I completely shut down, emotionally and mentally and any chance I have in problem resolution is toast. The more I'm seeing it the more I'm realizing how much I lack in emotional and personal maturity. Everyone has always told me who I am, my identity was what my mom and dad told me it was. They had to be right, they had watched me grow up. But the more I try to align myself with their idea of me the worse my anxiety seems to get. They hold me to a standard that I can't reach. I shut down, I become defensive and reactive, and I forget that they aren't trying to hurt me. This year I HAVE to find my own values, I HAVE to redefine who I am through my own view, I HAVE to stop relying on other people for my identity or else it very well may be my undoing. In 2017 it's time I let the 'good girl', the 'theatre kid', the 'perfect' me disappear. It's time to figure out who I really am.

[kitshomeforwaywardsouls]

Y’all help!!!!!

Anyone know who this woman is? I think she’s pretty and I wanna use her as a faceclaim for someone but I don’t know who she is.

[nonhumanlesbians]

i get so worried abt being seen as butch in public not bc im ashamed but bc i dont think im seen as butch. like.... i wear skirts regularly, im incredibly goth, i dont fit into the "normal" butch aesthetic. but im Butch bc thats My Identity in this partnership- thats Who I Am. not despite i wear skirts but Because of it, not despite im goth but Because of it. idk really what im saying here I guess the imposter syndrome around being Butch really hits me sometimes

[nonhumanlesbians]

Hi, welcome to our queer blog. You'll find us posting all manner of things here!

Ark will tag noir posts with #ark post and Mantis will tag hir posts with #mantis post. Some other things: we'll tag gender posts with #gender post, we'll tag identity posts with #identity post, and posts about us/our relationship as #qpr post.

We're both queer plural systems. We're in a queerplatonic relationship (12/29/2019). We are in nonhuman aroacespec lesbian queerplatonic love <2

More information about us under the cut!

We'll block you if we don't want you to follow us

Mod Mantis: The system's host is a butch agender/gendervoid person with no presentation/narcesse presentation who does not use terms like transmasc, transfem, or transneutral. Ze is aroace with a focus on being aromantic (loveless, amatopunk, voidpunk, lovequeer) and a lesbian. Rot loves horror, writing, analyzing literature, and queer history + community.

As a system, Mod Mantis uses rot/it/they pronouns. The system is queer.

Mod Ark: Noi is an abroplatonic, abrogender asexual with lesbian-leaning feelings. Ark prefers the term queer to describe tics feelings. Ark is quiet but likes to talk when the mood hits. Noi enjoys plush animals, drawing, animals, and trying to find labels that fit noir.

As a system, they use they / noi / tic pronouns.

[firrecat]

And like.. I guess everyone has different needs.

I am in no way saying that one kind of connection is better or more fulfilling inherently. But that my needs require something other than the kind of connections I have had in the past with men. That sort of connection is not enough.

I don't know. It's weird and I don't know how to words.

[firrecat]

sexuality/romantic attraction/sexual and/or romantic identities are really fucking weird and confusing

and its really hard to explain the differences between your sexuality and your romantic needs, especially when you yourself aren't sure why those are things in the first place or where that line is between the two 

all I know is that I am a girl and I like girls and want to be with a girl and I really can't.. quantify it to you other than that. I don't know why that is a thing. I don't know why that is a thing that matters but it really fucking does, especially now that I've lived trying to do the opposite.

(I've been trying to explain to people who are straight and have taken for granted that being straight is expected so they've got their mind working with their natural inclinations. I can't explain adequately the experience of thinking you connect with someone of the opposite gender for so long, and not even in a sexual way because i have known that for awhile, and then realizing that its the wrong kind of connection and you feel so fucking unfulfilled and lonely and just.. I don't even know)

[speaks-blasphemy-fluently]

Random spiritual identity post

I feel like I need to make a spiritual identity post since I think I've changed a lot in my views over the past couple years so here goes...

I generally identify as pagan.  This is obviously an umbrella term that requires hella explanation.  I am pagan in that I feel spiritually connected to the universe on a natural and seasonal level (I realize not all pagans do, but this is just about my own brand of paganism). I observe the moon cycles religiously and the general seasonal holidays (not necessarily the wheel of the year but generally those times).  I am pagan in that I do not observe any mainstream monotheistic path such as Judaism, Christiantiy, or Islam.  I believe these paths contain valuable wisdom, which I study as my chosen academic profession.

Thus I further identify as a pagan mystic because I have studied mysticism across traditions and I find myself most in harmony with mystical beliefs and practice.  I understand that every mystical tradition is firmly rooted in its base religion however, and do not water mysticism down to a blanket tradition.  My form is unique to my faith.

Also for the sake of separating myself from the "love and light" curse-shaming crowd I'm a dark pagan.  I chose my faith because I want power.  I will use that power as I see fit.  I am the arbiter of my reality.

That sounds like a fitting transition to my Craft discussion, which I view as an extension of my spiritual/religious identity even if not all pagans/magical practitioners do.  My Craft is a manifestation of my power and my spirituality is based on power so it's basically one in the same to me.

I'm a witch.  More specifically I call myself a songwitch because I always utilize music or dance in some form as part of my Crafting.  On the moral spectrum of witchery, I am probably a Grey Witch/practice Grey magic.  I like that term better than Black magic for a bunch of reasons (the tag is full of racist porn for example...) but for the record yes I do perform what has traditionally been called "black magic".  I realize the moral spectrum of magic is kind of arbitrary and based on what other people think so I don't see it as a big deal to explain it.  I'm just a witch, a sorceress, a magician, whatever term works.

Everything else is a work in progress.  So for now I'm a pagan songwitch mystic who exercises my will with witchcraft.

And one day I will rule the cosmic underworld.