A Bittersweet Christmas
pairing: WandaNat x fem!reader
genre: fluff; tiny bit of angst
warnings: reader gets a bit sad; tears (but they’re resolved!); little bit of angst
w/c: 4.7k
a/n: based on another fic I saw! credit to stuiie for their amazing fic, you really inspired me!
26 December
“It’s Wanda’s roast potatoes,” you commented, leaning forwards and taking yet another. You closed your eyes at its buttery deliciousness, the crunch of the skin merging with the fluffiness inside. “Why wouldn’t I eat more?”
“You flatter me,” Wanda laughed. She reached over and pressed your hand gently, shooting you a warm smile.
“Give me one.” Yelena thrust her overflowing plate under your nose. “Actually, give me seven.”
“Seven?!” Kate rolled her eyes, glancing fondly at her girlfriend. “You have a full plate.”
“So do you,” you pointed out, loading up Yelena’s plate with even more roasties. “Besides it’s Christmas.”
You sat back and began eating, taking in the happy crowd around the table. It had been a last-minute invite from Wanda and Natasha but you were glad to be included. To your left, Kate and Yelena were still debating Wanda’s roast potatoes. To your right was Wanda, eating slowly and quietly talking to Natasha, occasionally glancing at you and the others with a smile. At the far end of the table on your left, Carol was dodging Valkyrie’s attempts to try a Brussels sprout. The two women were sitting elbow to elbow, bursting into peals of laughter when the offending sprout veered past Carol’s nose. Their relationship was new and you were overjoyed for them, having known that Carol had held a crush on the dark-haired Asgardian for a long, long time.
You loved spending time at the Romanoff-Maximoff residence, often finding yourself at their door after work or waking up in the guest bedroom after another weekend sleepover. They’d made up a guest room just for you and it had gradually become a place of escape when life at the compound was pressuring.
“So, y/n, what have you been up to today?” Natasha called across the table, smiling at you.
“Well yesterday and today, I was actually moving my stuff out of the compound and into my brand new apartment,” you said shyly, smiling at Natasha.
There was an immediate chorus of ‘congratulations’ and a whooping cheer from Yelena but you couldn’t help noticing the absence of a reply from Wanda or Natasha. Both women seemed determined not to meet your gaze, instead exchanging a look with each other. You felt your heart clench and twisted uncomfortably in your seat.
“I’m coming over tomorrow to decorate,” Yelena said, placing a firm hand on your arm. “Please.”
“No, it should be me,” Kate pleaded, leaning across Yelena. “She has such bad taste in curtains.”
“You can both come,” you declared. “We can go to that little Italian restaurant after, it’ll be my treat.”
“Yes!” Yelena punched the air in satisfaction. You glanced at Natasha, noticing the smile on her face at her sister’s words but when she met your gaze, her smile disappeared and she looked away. You felt your stomach lurch with anger and upset. Why was she treating you this way?
“Who wants Christmas pudding?” Wanda said with a tight smile. There was a chorus of agreement and she got up, not looking in your direction, and headed into the kitchen. Natasha grabbed a stack of plates and quickly followed her.
You grabbed a dish in each hand and followed them, deciding that now would be a good moment to find out what was going on. When you reached the kitchen doorway, you paused, noticing the two of them standing close together. Natasha had her hands on Wanda’s arms, their foreheads touching, and was speaking quickly in a low voice. Wanda caught sight of you hovering and broke away from Natasha, turning towards you.
“I - I was just bringing these,” you said awkwardly. You put the dishes down on the nearest surface and abruptly headed back into the sitting room.
“Y/n. Y/n, wait.” You ignored Wanda and began hastily dragging your coat and scarf on, pulling your hat out of your pocket and jamming it down on your head. “Y/n, I can - wait, are you leaving?”
“I hope everyone has a lovely rest of the break,” you announced to the room. “Happy New Year and I’ll see you at work, probably.” You looked at Kate and Yelena, who were sitting in shocked silence along with everyone else. “You’re both welcome at my apartment any time. I’ll message you the address.”
You tried to meet Wanda and Natasha’s eye, but found it too uncomfortable so addressed the floor by their feet. “Thank you for the meal, it was delicious. Goodbye.”
Opening their front door, you hurried down the steps, hearing it click shut behind you. The tears started properly as you were walking home.
27 December
Your apartment felt dark and cold and you couldn’t stop replaying the events of the previous night in your mind. “I was so horrible,” you whispered. You’d convinced yourself that it was all your fault and felt that you should apologise.
Standing outside their house, you almost changed your mind.
With a determined breath, you headed up the steps slowly, playing through the conversation in your head. It was all dependent on Natasha answering the door, but you should have expected that things weren’t going to go the way you’d imagined.
Wanda didn’t say anything for a moment when she opened the door. She was dressed in a knitted sweater that you recognised you’d given her and a pair of loose fitting jeans, with big fluffy slippers. She looked like home and you longed to rush into her arms.
“Y/n.” She sounded surprised. “I - what -”
“Can I come in?” You kept your voice calm, but your emotions were raging. Wanda slowly moved aside and gestured for you to enter. You stood awkwardly in their hallway, feeling too warm in the heat of their house but refusing to take your coat off, in case they thought you were planning to stay.
Wanda seemed to suddenly regain her voice. “Can I get you a drink? Tea, coffee, hot chocolate?”
“I - no, thank you,” you said, your voice breaking on the last syllable.
“At least come in and sit down,” she urged gently. “Please?”
“O-okay.” You slowly pulled your coat off but didn’t let her take it, instead bundling it up in your arms and following her into the sitting room, having left your shoes by the door for a quick escape if you needed it.
Natasha was sitting in her usual armchair by the window. She looked up in surprise as you entered. There was a pile of papers on her lap and you realised she was catching up on grading trainees’ work for SHIELD. She pushed a pair of glasses up onto the top of her head and surveyed you curiously.
“We, um, we weren’t expecting you after yesterday,” Wanda began.
You saw your opening. “Yes, I know, I’m sorry. I turned up unannounced. I just - I wanted to say that I’m sorry about how yesterday went. It was very rude of me to leave as I did when you’d invited me and given me a meal and everything. I just felt that I couldn’t stay anymore,” you ended in a whisper.
“What’s wrong, y/n?” Natasha said gently. She’d always been able to see you more clearly than Wanda, despite the witch’s mind-reading abilities.
You coughed back tears, a lump rapidly building in your throat. “Can I speak plainly?” They both nodded and you took a deep breath, realising this might be the beginning of the end of your friendship with them.
“I feel like an outsider to your relationship, and I know I’ll never have a place in it but it’s becoming harder and harder to come over. That’s why I spent so much time at the compound and that’s why I’ve now got myself my own place. It felt right to move out of the compound, rather than sofa-surfing.” You hoped that they could read between the lines with what you weren’t saying.
Wanda went quiet, twisting her fingers over and over and watching Natasha intently. The spy was gazing at you however, her expression fierce and protective, but disarmingly gentle at the same time. It unnerved you and you looked away.
“You caught feelings,” she said softly. Wanda stared at Natasha then her gaze flicked to you then back to Natasha then finally focused upon the floor. Natasha smiled. “That’s why you feel like an outsider, because you want to be in this with us.”
‘You’ and ‘us’ rang loudly in your mind, making you wince slightly. The separation between you and the two women was more obvious than ever before. You nodded slowly then hastily got up. “I have to leave. I hope you understand why. Goodbye.”
“Stop saying goodbye,” Wanda said, her voice breaking and tears forming in her eyes. “Please stop saying goodbye.”
You almost ran to her to give her a hug but instead you left, quickly and quietly slipping out the front door for the second time in 24 hours. You felt horrible for leaving them again but you felt suffocated sitting there talking to them and you didn’t want to see the expressions on Wanda’s face anymore. It was hurting you too much.
29 December
Your phone was ringing.
You glanced at it, not surprised to see Natasha’s icon flashing on your screen. Hesitating slightly, you eventually decided to answer. “Natasha.”
“Y/n. Is now a good time to talk?”
You shifted uncomfortably. She wanted a conversation and you wanted to be left alone, but you also wanted to speak to them. You missed spending time with them, even though it had only been a day. “I guess?”
“What’s wrong?” she said, her voice gentle. “I know that this is hurting you. Talk to me.”
“Natasha, I -” The tears started suddenly and you found yourself crying, bent over double in the middle of your kitchen. “I - I can’t…”
“Deep breaths, sweetheart.” Her voice was calm but firm. “In, and hold, and out, breathe all the way out. Now breathe in again, and hold. Keep holding, and out, breathe it all out.” She waited for your choked sobs to even out. “Y/n, I know this is hard and I’m so proud of you for being brave and speaking out about this. I can appreciate that it must have been very difficult to hold it in for so long. But I really feel that it’s better now that you’ve told us because we can talk about it with you.”
“You keep saying ‘this’ and ‘it,’” you whispered. “But what exactly is it?”
“Well… what would you like it to be?”
You held back a gasp of surprise. Nobody had asked you that kind of question before and it took you by surprise. Natasha had always understood you, you didn’t know how she did it but she was able to take one look, assess what was on your mind and calm you down.
“Y/n? Are you still there, darling?”
“I - yes, I’m here,” you whispered. “I just - nobody’s asked me that before.”
“Take your time. And remember, feelings are a two-way street sometimes. You have them, but the other person, or people, might have them too. Have you ever thought about that?”
You were crying again, tears making tracks down your cheeks. You didn’t even hear Natasha’s attempts to calm you down as you choked out, “I’m s-so alone, Nat. It’s just me now and I feel so stupid for even saying anything to you and Wanda. It’s just made it all worse and now I’ve lost your friendship. I just - I can’t do it anymore. Goodbye.”
“Where do you live?” Natasha’s voice was calm and it soothed you, which made you cry harder, knowing that you weren’t going to have these conversations for much longer. “Y/n, give me your address.” She was firm but not demanding and in a shaky voice, you told her your address. “Don’t leave. I’m coming over.” The phone went dead and you fell to the floor, your chest shaking and wails coming out of your mouth.
Natasha was quicker than you’d expected. You stumbled to the door to answer her knock then fell against it once you saw it really was her outside. She kindly but firmly gathered you into her arms and walked you into your flat, shutting the door behind you. “Ssh, ssh, darling, it’s okay, I’m here now,” she soothed, holding you tightly against her.
“I’m so sorry,” you sobbed. “I'm so sorry for it all. I never meant to hurt either of you and I-”
“Y/n, you’re okay,” Natasha whispered, kissing the top of your head. “I’ve got you and I’m not letting you go. You haven’t hurt anyone, only yourself, and we will heal that together.” She cupped your face in her hands, brushing away the tear tracks on your cheeks and smiled at you. “No more tears, m’kay? From now on, if you’re troubled by anything - and I mean anything - you talk to me or Wanda.”
“But I can’t,” you gasped. “I - your relationship - I - I’m a homewrecker. I can’t-”
Natasha put her finger on your lips, silencing your cries. She held you in a tight grip, resting her chin on the top of your head and cradling you against her body. She held you until your cries had died to whimpers and then silence. For the first time in a long time, you felt safe and secure.
“Now,” Natasha said, leaning back to meet your gaze, a smile on her face, “shall we go home? Wanda’s expecting us.”
For the first time in days, you gave her a smile.
29 December: evening
“Oh my darling,” Wanda said, taking in your tear-swollen face. “Come here.” She opened her arms and you walked into her hug. She smelt like cinnamon and you smiled against her, realising she’d been baking. She wrapped her arms around you, holding you tightly and kissed the top of your head. “It’s okay, you’re home now.”
“Y-you’re not mad?” you said anxiously, pulling away and staring at her.
“Why would I be mad, sweet girl?”
“I - what I said, and then I - I left - I left like that.” You pointed at the door, your abrupt exits replaying in your mind. “I - I hurt you. I’m - I didn’t mean to do that.”
“Darling, I’m not mad at you,” Wanda whispered. “Not for any of it, so get those thoughts out of your mind, okay? And I’m not hurt, I understand that you were upset and you have a lot of big feelings going on.” She smiled. “We’re going to talk about it, all in good time, I promise. For now, let’s just eat some cookies, yes? Natasha and I were watching a movie - do you want to watch it with us?”
You nodded, leaning against her. She gave you a one-armed squeeze then guided you to a place in the sitting room. A tin of cinnamon cookies sat on a coffee table in front of one of their sofas. Natasha sat down in the seat she’d evidently vacated to come and get you and Wanda sat on your other side, her hand resting gently on your knee as she passed the cookie tin around.
You leant back into the cushions, feeling warm and slightly happier. Natasha put an arm around you, relaxing into the sofa and resting her head on your shoulder. Wanda leant gently against you, intently focused upon the movie, occasionally laughing at something one of the actors said.
30 December
The two women insisted you spend the night in your usual room. You woke the following morning to the smell of bacon and laughter. Wrapping yourself in an old hoodie of Natasha’s, you slowly made your way downstairs, noticing that most of the photos hanging by the stairs contained photos of you with Natasha and Wanda. You traced a photo of the three of you in Times Square, remembering the giant hot chocolates Wanda had purchased for you.
“You’re up.” Natasha was smiling at the foot of the stairs. “Breakfast’s ready, are you hungry?”
You nodded and followed her into the kitchen, eyes widening at the pancakes, bacon, mixed berries and coffee pot that were placed on the table. Natasha placed her hands on your shoulders, guiding you to an empty seat. You tipped your head back, looking up at her and she bent down to kiss your forehead, a smirk on her face.
“Let’s eat,” Wanda said happily, loading your plate with pancakes, bacon and berries, whilst Natasha poured coffee.
You paused halfway through your breakfast and looked nervously at the others. They caught onto your gaze and looked expectantly at you. Pushing your plate away from you, you cleared your throat uncertainly. “I, um, I think we should probably talk.”
“We can finish breakfast and then talk,” Wanda said gently. You sensed her hesitation around you and realised that she thought you were going to pull another quick exit if she raised her voice one notch.
You sighed in frustration. “I - I need a minute.” Getting up, you went into the sitting room and began pacing, wondering how you were going to talk about your feelings with both of them watching you. Nothing sounded right in your head and you were working yourself into an anxiety attack when a pair of hands landed gently on your shoulders.
“Y/n.” It was Wanda, her expression kind. “I want you to say whatever you want to say. You don’t have to keep it inside or phrase it for how you think we want to hear it. Just say what’s on your mind and your heart, darling.”
“That was only 45 seconds, not a minute,” you blurted, then groaned at the inadequacy of your brain. A smile was playing around Wanda’s mouth, but she didn’t say anything, just encouraged you with a nod of her head.
“Okay.” You squared your shoulders and sat down, perching on the edge of the nearest sofa. “Yes, okay, I can do this. Look, it’s nice that you’ve brought me over to watch a movie and spend the night and cook me breakfast, but it’s confusing. I left because I needed to put distance between you two and me.” You sighed. “It’s confusing me, all the back and forth. I say something, then I leave, then you bring me back and play hostess. I don’t mind that, but I don’t know what your intentions are and I can’t get a read on either of you and it’s - confusing,” you finished awkwardly.
Wanda looked at Natasha and something unspoken passed between the two of them. You were chewing at your fingernails, worried that you’d said the wrong thing, but Natasha reached out, taking your hands in hers and stopping your nervous habit.
“Natasha and I talked yesterday. A lot.” Wanda had to clear her throat as her voice caught slightly. “Y/n, if you’ll have us, we want you in our relationship.” You stared, sure you’d misheard her, but Wanda wasn’t finished speaking. “I had a relationship. A long time ago. There were 4 of us and it was one of the happiest times of my life. When it ended, it was some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt - and I’ve had a lot of pain,” she added, her gaze suddenly distant. “I thought that only being with one other person was all I could manage but I -” Her voice caught and she looked to Natasha for support.
“Wanda means that she likes having a relationship with just me, but it’s not what she wants. And I’ve been feeling the same, y/n, ever since I met - you.” Natasha’s voice became thick and she swallowed hurriedly. “You bring out something in me that - something good. I’ve got a lot of red in my ledger,” she admitted, “and a lot of pain in my story and I want that to stop clouding my judgement, my decisions, the way I live, the way I act. When I met you, I realised that life could be different.” She gripped your hands tighter. “You’re a breath of fresh air, y/n, in my life. I don’t want a future if you’re not in it. I want a future with both of you,” she added, turning to Wanda.
You were crying, tears running down your cheeks as you realised the depth of the two women’s feelings for you. It felt overwhelming but completely freeing at the same time and you gasped in relief, feeling some of the weight come away from your shoulders. You gave a happy sigh then started crying afresh when you noticed that Wanda was crying too and Natasha’s eyes were red and she was swallowing a lump in her throat.
“I think I’m dreaming,” you whispered. “This feels too good to be true.”
“Believe it, my love, because it’s very true and very real,” Natasha said happily, pulling you onto her lap. You squealed in happiness and leant against her, placing your hand on top of hers. Wanda added her hand on top of yours and you pulled the witch closer, eyes closing in relief.
New Year’s Eve
“I’m keeping the apartment,” you said to Natasha, leaning against a large mirror in the hallway and adjusting the fluffy black sweater you were wearing. “But you’re welcome there any time. It can be a space for me to -” you gestured wildly, searching for words.
“...be yourself?” Natasha offered, her eyes twinkling. “Okay, but you can be yourself right here in this hallway, y/n.”
You laughed as she pulled you flush against her, resting her chin on the top of your head and dancing to music only she could hear. You listened to her steady heartbeat and smiled, leaning back and spinning her into a twirl before dipping her and touching your nose to hers. Natasha’s breath slowed and her pupils dilated, her eyes flicking down to your lips.
“It’s not midnight,” you teased, pulling her upright and opening the door with a flourish to greet Carol and Valkyrie.
“Y/n!” they exclaimed in surprise. “You’re here!”
“I’m here,” you smiled, taking coats and pointing them down the hallway to the sitting room. “Oh, and Val, can you help Wanda with the wine?”
“You got it,” Valkyrie called back, heading towards the kitchen. You looked over at Natasha, who was watching you breathlessly, her eyes shining. “What?”
“What - what?” She grabbed you, pulling you into a hug and kissing your cheek fiercely. “Don’t ever change, y/n, unless it’s for the better.”
You pressed your fingers to your lips and pressed them to her cheek, leaving the faintest trace of your lipstick behind. Opening the door to Kate and Yelena, the two of them fell on you with excited, happy squeals, chattering about how you were back where you belonged and shouting ‘Happy New Year.’
“It’s not midnight yet,” you laughed again, grabbing their coats. “C’mon, everyone’s gathering in the sitting room for the countdown. Wine or bubbly?”
Natasha took your arm, pulling you aside. She leant in and you leant back, anxious to avoid a kiss before midnight. “I just - y/n, I -” Her eyes were saying what her words couldn’t and you realised with a jolt that those three little words were about to emerge. “I know, Nat,” you replied, running a hand down her arm, “I know, I feel it too.”
“It’s starting!” The voices from the sitting room brought you back to reality and you hurried into the room, Natasha following you. You took in the merry, laughing crowds on the TV and watched the numbers slowly change backwards.
“...9…8…7…”
You looked over at Wanda, who was watching you with a fierce gaze and a bright-eyed smile. She gripped your hand in hers, tracing patterns across your knuckles with her finger.
“...6…5…4…”
You stared at Natasha on your other side, who was watching you just as intently, her eyes fixed firmly on yours before sliding down to your lips, her own parted in expectation.
“3…2…1…Happy New Year!”
You pulled Wanda towards you and kissed her, savouring the taste of the cherry wine she’d been drinking. Natasha pulled you apart and crashed her lips into yours, kissing you passionately, eagerly, like she was going to drown if she didn’t kiss you. It made your knees weak and your head swim and you smiled, raising your glass of champagne watching Wanda and Natasha kiss.
“Ohmygod, you kissed them!” Kate screamed in your ear, whilst Yelena hopped about, spilling champagne and chanting in Russian. “You kissed both of them - are you three finally an item?!”
“You knew?” you gasped, hugging Kate.
“Of course I knew! The entire compound knew, it was obvious the way you felt for them and how they felt about you,” she grinned. “I once had a 10-minute conversation with Natasha about ‘work’ but work was you,” she smirked. “The woman’s head-over-heels for you and so is Wanda. The amount of baking she’s done for you, jumpers she’s knitted -”
You stared at Wanda and Natasha, who had their arms around each other and were watching the celebrations. You walked over to them, enveloping them in a hug. You were spilling your champagne, but you didn’t care. “I love you. I love you. I love both of you so much. I love you.” You kissed each of them again in turn, murmuring more ‘I love you’s against their lips.
“I love you too,” Natasha sighed happily, the words coming easily. “I love you so much, y/n. I love you,” she continued, kissing Wanda gently.
“I love you, y/n, my darling, and Natasha, my darling,” Wanda said happily.
New Year’s Day: Epilogue
“Oh!” you gasped, opening the box. “I - it’s beautiful.” You slipped the ring onto your finger, admiring the way it sparkled in the light. It was gold, with tiny diamonds scattered around it, creating a twinkling, sparkling effect when you moved your hand in the light.
Wanda and Natasha held their hands out, displaying matching rings. Natasha looked up at you with a smile. “It’s a promise. A promise to love you forever, to look after you when you get tired or sick, until death do us part,” she ended softly.
“I - I don’t know what to say,” you replied, tears starting in the corner of your eyes. “I love it - I love you.”
“It’s our promise to you, and our promise to each other,” Wanda said, wrapping her arms around you and leaning her head on your shoulder.
“I have something for you,” you added, pulling out a hastily wrapped present from a bag at your feet. You handed it to them, watching as they opened it slowly. “It’s to complete the other one.”
It was a photo of the three of you in Times Square, matching smiles on your faces and hot chocolates in your hands. You’d carefully written ‘forever’ in a gold pen across the bottom of the photo. “It’s my way of saying yes,” you admitted shyly.
“I love it,” Wanda smiled, turning to kiss you. “I loved that trip, we should go again soon.”
“More hot chocolate?” you chuckled, tucking your feet under you.
“More memories,” Natasha said gently. She pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. “Let’s make a list of all the things we want to do this year. Times Square,” she muttered, writing it in neat, cursive handwriting beneath the title ‘Our Year Ahead.’
You and Wanda curled up on either side of her, listing suggestions and laughing when you offered something extravagant. Occasionally, you glanced over at Wanda, meeting her gaze and leaning in for a soft kiss. Then Natasha would put a hand on your arm and you’d kiss her too, brushing her wavy red hair out of her eyes and then you just had to kiss her again. Wanda’s arm snaked around you, holding you close, while she typed one-handed on her laptop, looking up holiday destinations.
It was the perfect end to Christmas, you thought. You’d had some tears, some laughter, but you knew that there was lots of love ahead. You couldn’t wait to see what the year held for the three of you.
a/n: happy new year, readers! I hope you enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed writing it. Let me know what you’d like to see from me in 2025 :) my inbox is always open!
