#stupid mutterings

[crestfallen-wonderland]

forgive and forget isn’t a fucking thing

[loveless-masquerade]

3:17pm

Oh god I just really want to be dead and my head hurts so bad and I’d do anything to get shitfaced drunk right now and blackout into tomorrow because I can’t handle meaning nothing to every single person on this fucking planet. I don’t mean anything to myself anyway all I want to do is die or hurt myself whether emotionally or physically and my sister said I should go to therapy but words from someone with a degree isn’tgoing to help this mind numbing emptiness in mychest oh god please help me not feel this way anymore 

[loveless-masquerade]

2:05am

Oh God it’s not poetic at all, I know, but I can’t breathe and I feel the vomit rise in my chest as my body swells anxiety. I know my trees are sleeping but I only want to be dead. My heart feels as though it’s been ripped from its roots in my body and the residual ache from the dragging of my veins behind it is too much to bear. Paint a smile on my face with my own tears to increase the viscosity of my emotional disguise. There was something in the way you move darling that is so magnetic to my soul and I’d rather have no soul at all than to have it separated from yours.

[crestfallen-wonderland]

peak sadness: silently sobbing on the floor at 9:30pm for no reason

[crestfallen-wonderland]

i don’t know how to trust you. I don’t know how to forgive you. i want to try but all i’ve ever known is to hold onto every hardship i’ve faced

[crestfallen-wonderland]

I just nearly fucking relapsed and I really don’t have time for this shit it’s finals seasons lmao

[crestfallen-wonderland]

I wish I was blissfully unaware of how horrible I'm doing but instead I'm sitting on my bed at 1am knowing that everything I do is detrimental to me and my future

[crestfallen-wonderland]

Who knew that 6 months of being clean could go down the drain due to a mild mood drop and an itch of the heart.