#ElissaHolt #stupidhormones #WickedHeart

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#ElissaHolt #stupidhormones #WickedHeart
Goddamn it tumblr, you're not helping.
blogging about feelings haha
I started this past week with some sort of breakdown, remembering awful things from the past, driving people away, and worrying about my future. It was pretty bad. Just when I thought my post-college life would be a failure,the tables turned. I bought a car (the one I wanted... Fiat 500) and I got a job (therapist for children with autism), both within 4 days! Aren't I lucky? I still have to deal with/ figure out some shitty stuff, but things seem to be looking up!
THIS HEAT
IS AFFECTING ME IN WAYS I DO NOT WANT TO BE AFFECTED
Stupid hormones
Why do hormones have to be so hard to understand?! I get how cycles are supposed to work, I get how babies are supposed to happen, I get how ovulation tests are supposed to work, I get the changes most women's bodies experience that can hint toward ovulation, and I understand what PCOS does to all of that- but, with all that I seem to know, none of it EVER seems applicable. I've been taking OPK's for about a month now, haven't had a single positive one, which is normal with PCOS, I know, but then, my body starts hinting with those ovulation signs, and I don't know what to think. I want to be excited, but every time I let myself get excited about something, it turns out it was just my wishful thinking getting the best of me. Ugh. Excuse the hormonal/frustrated rant.