content info: mdni! dom!fem!reader, sub!hollis, power reversal, emotional manipulation, p in v, praise kink, denial, humiliation, angst, emotional pain, heartbreak
author‘s note: part two is here! part one was about emotional damage. the power shift. this is where it turns physical. where you really get to know sub hollis.
he freezes when you pull away. not because you raised your voice. not because you really threatened him. but because you didn’t. you stand there, just out of reach, and for the first time he notices how steady you are. how quiet. how done. the air between you is tight with something he can’t touch his way out of. "don’t" you say again, softer now. not as a rule. as a boundary.
his hands hover uselessly in his lap. the confidence drains from his face in real time, replaced by something raw and unfamiliar. need, stripped of entitlement. he swallows. "i didn’t mean to…" he starts. you tilt your head. "you never do." that lands harder than anything else you could’ve said.
you turn away from him, just enough to remind him that your body isn’t the center of this moment anymore. he’s still sitting there, exposed in a way he’s not used to being. not naked, just seen. stripped of the version of himself that always got to be wanted no matter what.
"do you know what it’s like" you continue calmly, "to be right here with you and still feel completely untouched?" he looks up at you then. his jaw tightens, eyes glassy, panic starting to creep in around the edges. this isn’t the kind of confrontation he knows how to perform in. there’s no crowd. no music. no way to spin it.
"i needed you" he says. quieter. almost small. you nod again. "i know. that’s why this hurts." you walk past him, slow. not storming out. not dramatic. just choosing distance. every step is a reminder that access to you was never unconditional. it was earned. and somewhere along the way, he stopped earning it. behind you, he exhales shakily. his hands come up to his face, elbows braced on his knees. for the first time in a long while, there’s no one reaching for him. no one filling the silence. no one making it easier.
and that’s when it breaks. not loud. not cinematic. just a quiet, involuntary sound he doesn’t catch in time. his shoulders sag. his breath stutters. he stares at the floor like it might explain how he got here. how love turned into habit, how closeness became something he took instead of something he protected. you pause at the doorway. not to comfort him. just long enough to let him feel it.
"this" you say without turning around, voice steady even as your chest aches, „is what you taught me to live with." and for the first time since the world fell in love with him, he’s alone with the consequences of what he lost.
he’s still sitting there when you turn back. "please" he says. the word slips out before he can stop it. raw. ugly. honest. you stay standing. arms crossed loosely. composed in a way he isn’t anymore. "don’t" you say quietly. not harsh. controlled. "don’t say that like you’re entitled to be heard just because you’re desperate."
his throat works as he swallows. his eyes flick up to you, wide, wet, ashamed and aching all at once. "i didn’t mean to hurt you" he rushes out. "i swear. i didn’t realize. i’m sorry. i’m so fucking sorry y/n." you take a slow step closer. not enough to touch him. just enough that he feels it. "you realized" you correct calmly. "you just decided it wasn’t urgent. because my pain didn’t interrupt your life."
his hands curl into his thighs. knuckles white. his posture collapses in on itself, shoulders folding like he’s trying to make himself smaller. "you‘re right." he whispers, voice breaking. "i love you. i just… i didn’t know how to be everything at once."
you let out a quiet breath through your nose. almost a laugh. not amused. "you didn’t need to be everything. you just needed to not make me feel optional." that one hits him hard. his head drops forward, elbows on his knees again, hands covering his face. the sound he makes this time isn’t controlled at all. it cracks straight out of his chest, helpless and humiliating. when he looks back up at you, there’s no cockiness left. none. just panic and regret and a man realizing too late that he misunderstood the rules.
"i’ll do better. i’ll fix it. just tell me what to do. please. i’ll do anything." anything. you hold his gaze. let the word hang between you. "hollis, you already did what you wanted. this isn’t about you doing something now." his lips part. his breathing stutters. "then what is it about?"
you lean down just enough that he has to look up at you. "it’s about you sitting there. wanting me. and finally understanding what it feels like when wanting isn’t enough." his eyes fill completely. tears spill freely now, unchecked, embarrassing, real. his chest shakes. he nods over and over like agreeing might save him.
"please" he sobs again. "please don’t do this. i need you. i need you so bad." you straighten. "i know" you say. and you step back. not angry. not cruel. just unreachable. and that’s when he truly breaks. sitting there, undone, exposed, realizing that for the first time you’re not the one begging anymore.
you don’t leave. instead, you turn back to him. his head snaps up immediately, hope flaring so fast it’s painful to watch. he’s still sitting there, posture wrecked, breath uneven, jeans undone like evidence of a plan that never got permission to happen. he looks at you the way he always used to. like you’re relief. like you’re going to save him from himself.
you step closer. close enough that he has to tilt his head back to keep looking at you. his knees spread instinctively, body reacting before his brain can catch up. "look at me." you say quietly. he freezes. then nods. obeys. you move closer while reaching under your skirt, pushing that thong of yours aside. finding yourself all wet after seeing him begging for you like that.
you hold his broken gaze while you slowly sink down on his throbbing dick. you settle there like it’s your right. because it is. his breath breaks the second he realizes what’s happening, a soft, wrecked sound falling out of him. his hands twitch. "don’t you dare touching me." you warn gently. they stop immediately. hover in the air, useless. obedient.
he’s shaking now. not from arousal alone. from the effort it takes to stay still. to not reach. to not touch the thing he’s been allowed to take for so long without consequence. "look at you. this is what you wanted, isn’t it?" his lips part. his voice comes out broken. "yes." you tilt your head slightly. "no" you correct. "this is what i wanted.“
that does something to him. you feel it in the way his chest stutters, in the way his eyes fill again, glossy and desperate, humiliation threading itself through the need. "keep looking at me" you say. "don’t look away." he nods again. fast. terrified to disobey. a tear slips down his cheek. you notice immediately. "that‘s it." you whisper.
your fingers come up, not to touch him, just to tilt his chin, force him to stay open, exposed. he’s crying quietly now, helpless, breath hitching like he doesn’t know how to stop. "i want to see them" you say softly. "your beautiful tears. every single one."
his throat works. his voice barely makes it out. "i’m sorry" he sobs. "i’m so sorry. i didn’t mean to lose you." you lean in just enough that your words brush his ear. "then say it right." he blinks up at you, confused, wrecked. "say what?" you pull back, just enough to look him in the eyes again. "tell me what i am" you say calmly. „tell me what you see when you’re not allowed to touch."
his breath shudders. another tear falls. "you’re…" his voice breaks. he tries again. "you’re everything. you’re beautiful. you’re the only thing that ever grounded me. never loved anyone as much as i love you."
you hold his gaze. unflinching. "again." - "you’re in control" he whispers. "you always were. i just didn’t deserve it."
that’s when his face crumples completely. he’s crying openly now, chest shaking, hands still clenched uselessly at his sides, praise spilling out of him like confession, like penance. and you stay exactly where you are. present. untouchable. finally taking what you want. not his body. but his understanding.
and it turns you on. every tear of his is proof that there are still feelings there. his trembling hands proof that he still wants you close. his eyes still look up at you and there is so much desperation in them, but also so much honesty. you have him exactly where you want him and you need him exactly like this, want him exactly like this. so you give him the last bit now.
your hands move to his shoulders, you hold on and start to grind on him. his dick buried all the way inside you and he reacts instantly to your movement. twitches inside you and it makes you exhale sharply. hollis looks at you. confusion. there is so much pain in him and yet you make him feel so good. it overwhelms him.
"fuck, what are you doing to me?" it breaks out of him. another tear rolls down his cheeks. "hollis, you’re so beautiful for me when you’re like this. when i get to use you however i want." - "please use me however you want y/n. i’m completely yours. please. take everything i couldn‘t give you." you just laugh mockingly before suddenly going faster on him and he moans, trembling.
he feels so good inside you and you land hard on him again and again. skin slapping together and your wetness pulling strings between your bodies. the room filled with his whimpering and his loud need to be allowed to touch you while you ride him exactly how you want. taking what you want. and the feeling makes you moan, confirms it.
"baby can i please touch you. please. i need you. i want to feel that it’s real. i need to know you’re really here." - "no." and you go faster, your hand moving to his mouth before you press your fingers onto his tongue. his lips completely wet with tears.
"look at me and suck on them like this relationship depends on it." fear in his eyes. again. like everything would break if he made a mistake. every trace of confidence gone. there is no worldstar under you anymore, just a boy who lost himself.
you pull your fingers from his mouth and guide them between your legs. start circling your clit. your pussy clenches at the sensation and he moans at the feeling.
"this is your chance. talk me through it. earn the right for me to cum on your dick."
you fuck yourself harder on his cock, the pressure on your clit more intense, and he starts guiding you, praising you. "please baby. please. cum on my dick. please do it for me. i know i don’t deserve you and i would give you everything if you just did this for me."
his words go straight between your legs and you feel yourself getting closer, your moans louder, your breathing faster. "more." he nods, trembling all over. he’s getting closer too, but right now all his focus is on you.
"y/n. baby. i want you to feel good. let yourself fall on me. i’ll never leave you alone like that again. i promise you. please. i’ll do anything, just please cum for me." and then you break on him, your moan loud, and he absorbs every sound. finally listens to you. finally sees you. you pulse around his dick and he moans deep, voice still shaky from crying.
you feel him twitch inside you, feel how close he is. his senses blurred and for a moment he doesn’t think, his hands move to your waist. he wants you now for his release. "look at you. so fucking desperate." he looks at you, confused, and you suddenly stand up. shock in his eyes. "wha-?" - "told you you’re not allowed to touch me, and look how you still don’t give a fuck about what i say.” - "no. babe. i’m sorry. please come back."
you shake your head. anticipation in your stomach because you’re about to teach him the final lesson. "you’re going to do it yourself now. touch yourself. in front of me. and i’m going to watch."
he looks up at you, begging, and realizes you won’t give in. he understands this is what he has to do if he wants to save whatever is left. his trembling hand moves to his throbbing dick. veiny. precum leaking from the tip. still slick with your wetness on him. he starts stroking himself and feels so humiliated in front of you. the way you watch him, degradation in your eyes. he feels exactly as small as you want him to be.
"faster hollis. don‘t make me wait." and he does what you say, goes faster. his hips start thrusting up as well and he moans. the feeling from before building again and his entire body wired. he looks so broken and so good for you and you decide to do him a favor.
"open your hand for me, sweet boy." and he lets go of himself for a moment, stretches it up to you and you spit into his palm. "now use it. cum for me."
his pupils widen with excitement and he keeps jerking himself off, his dick twitching more and more, his breathing faster. then his head falls back, no control left, and his orgasm takes over. his cum spills into his hand, over his lower stomach, onto his thighs. dripping to the floor.
slowly he comes down from his high and realizes what just happened. what he feels. what you feel. what he did to you. and he collapses. he cries. not short, not interrupted by pleasure. this is real. "y/n. please. don’t leave me." he opens his arms for you, surrendered. an honest invitation to closeness. and you break too. you haven’t seen him like this in so long and there he is. the hollis you fell in love with.
"fuck." it breaks out of you. you cry too. you sit on him. your head falls onto his shoulder and your whole body shakes with feelings and tears. "i missed you so much."
he presses his forehead to yours. eyes red. his gaze drops to your lips. you hadn’t kissed even once yet and he knew exactly why. he hadn’t deserved it. his eyes find yours again. "can i? please."
and then your lips meet. soft. apologetic. you taste like tears, like lost love, like forgiveness and second chances.
