#sub confessions

[dairyofaborderlinebrat]

When he’s talking about another hurting his feelings and all you wanna to is slit that girls throat right in front of him and then give him the “come here” eyes so he knows you’d kill for him and then proceed to attempt to worship him in the gore of it all cause all you wanna be his best friend and protector and maybe even his wife if you’re lucky enough.

[dairyofaborderlinebrat]

Dear tumblr diary,

A boy who’s wanted me for years told me he admires the way I’ve been selective with who I give my body and sexual energy to.

And it had me thinking , damn. This isn’t the first time a man has told me how much he admires the fact I don’t sleep around and I’m not easy. Or that he’s more attracted to me knowing I’ve been celibate for 4 years now and don’t even kiss men who don’t bring me flowers at this point.

I went from a childhood of abuse from men in my family … to never allowing myself to submit until it’s safe to submit. Until it’s truly worth the effort and the risk.

And one day, I’m gonna find whatever it is I’m waiting for. A man is going to look at me and I’m gonna feel it throughout my whole body that I need his touch now or I’ll snap.

If I don’t feel that for another 5 years, I’ll be okay knowing men have chased me for years and admired how seriously I take being a submissive.

And it means the world to me to have this kind of control when I grew up with no control , no say and my mom wouldn’t mind my expenses for her luxury.