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Got a triple shot hazelnut latte at Starbucks today. Not what I ordered but I finished it anyways. Wasn’t too bad, but still, you been goofing up Starbucks come on now. Karen the lawyer (or paralegal?) came into the shop today. I am very much ashamed and I wish I had sent my resume to her. Because now its just awkward. I need to get over my social anxiety. Other than that, today was a little bit of a struggle. Didn’t really accomplish anything that I wanted to do or was planning on doing. Dammit. I was pretty chill the other days but today in particular I noticed that I had low patience for annoying people.

I am ashamed. I feel so guilty. Much regret. Dressed up ready for the gym, but as soon as we got there, decided to ditch to get wings instead. But it was so goooooooood. Going to bust my booty off tomorrow. But had a sorta nice bonding talk with the brother, which is always good.

Finished up American Pie today and what the coach said at the last lacrosse game to the team. “It all boils down to today. For you seniors, this marks the culmination of the past four years. Culmination. I want you to think about what this means to you. Do you guys wanna look back on your days at East and know that you used the time you had?” Looking back, in some ways I wish I had used my time in high school and in college the way I wanted to. I felt like I held back a lot and as a result missed out on a lot. And now I’m kind of still doing the same thing, but I’m beginning to realize that I need to stop saving things for special occasions. I need to start living each day to the fullest, live out my youth, because like my alcohol tolerance, its going to go downhill from now. Things will get harder and even more complicated. but this is no time to dwell on the past and think about the what ifs. I need to start now, or at least set myself up for it. Basically, I’m going to look back at this time and wish I had done more with it. I will never have as much free time as I do now. Wow, who would’ve known that a movie with lewd sexual humor could actually be very enlightening and deep. What a time to be alive.

#applepie #suckmebeautiful