#suehiro

[redrosecarnage]

suehiro and koutarou dont have pets bc suehiro is sorta like a pet to koutarou and i think thats beautiful

[redrosecarnage]

i feel like, as much as koutarou pities suehiro because of the early abuse he went through, he also sorta envies hideaki for breaking suehiro first

at the same time, he's also somewhat ''grateful'' to hideaki's grooming because it's one of the things that made it possible for him to meet suehiro

[redrosecarnage]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUEHIRO 🥳🥳🥳

corny love letter below ><

im struggling to find the right words to express how life saving it was to have you by my side for all those ten years and how much of a comfort you've become to me over time. getting to write down your story, your words, your struggles has been a privilege and a duty i take very seriously and now, more than ever, im motivated to share your story with others! thank you for allowing me to step into your life, i love you very very very much my sweet beautiful boy ♥️

[redrosecarnage]

sometimes i think abt the fact naoko - suehiro's mother - came home one day after work and snoozed off on the couch as she would usually do, unaware her child wasn't home and would probably never be home again; how she never bothered to go after him herself or report his disappearance, moving on with her life as if he'd never been born and it breaks me

[redrosecarnage]

uma coisa q eu amo é escrever o koutarou como sendo o maior goxtoso q já existiu na face da terra e todas as mulheres xonadas nele porém ele ñ dá bola pra elas pq tá obcecado por um muleque de 15 anos KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

[redrosecarnage]

i love how different my mindset becomes whenever i shift the point of view/narrator between suehiro and koutarou: writing about suehiro brings melancholy, shame, self hatred, indulgence, hedonism, guilt - a lot of guilt but writing about koutarou brings bluntness, unashamed ruthlessness, manipulation and he is overall fun to write like his distorted thought patterns and beliefs - i'd say the same can be said about suehiro but due to his adverse life experiences, it becomes sad really quick once you realize where he's coming from whereas with koutarou there's no such thing lol basically he's evil because he gets something out of it and truly enjoys it and to me that's fascinating

[redrosecarnage]

suehiro and koutarou are so similar despite their contrasting ways of self expression: suehiro knows he's different but embraces that early on and koutarou tries so hard to be someone else, to escape himself, he performs all the time (mostly to himself) despite also being aware he doesn't fit in

it's not even a matter of one of them being more emotional or logical than the other, it's more related to how comfortable they feel around themselves/being in touch with their inner feelings and narrative

[redrosecarnage]

bought the cutest matching black and white card holders (with cat ears!) on aliexpress and they arrived today and FINALLY koutarou's photocard fits in so now i'll be able to take both him and suehiro out with me hanging from my bags uwu im the happiest girl in the world rn u guys i just. love them so fucking much!!!

(photo looks shitty bc i was too excited to focus lol)