Homeworld Bound: Aftermath
(plays wayyy after the episode, pretend it’s all resolved. Steven and Connie talk about the past and complicated feelings.)
The night sky hangs beautifully, the stars gazing down on the soft green and blue hues of the planet. Steven shifts a little. He’s laying don on the lush grass, his jacket under his head to be more comfortable. Connie is stargazing with him, laying not too far away.
Their eyes watch the universe stretching out into the infinite in silence for a while, until Steven speaks up.
“How do you feel about... White Diamond?”
“White?” She asks, slightly confused on how specific the question is. “She’s... pretty weird, I think. I mean, the diamonds came miles ever since, you know.“
“It’s so weird to see Spinel take over her.” Connie lets out a small laugh, thinking back to the huge, dancing diamond. “I never thought I’d see her do those things. I guess she really took it all to heart. Kinda goes to show the diamonds were still made to be there for their gems, yknow?“
Questions and thoughts and arguments lay at the tip of Steven’s tongue, but he bites them back and forces himself to listen. She’s not wrong.
“What about...?” He trails off deliberately at the end, and glancing to the side, he can see from Connie’s face expression that she knows exactly what he’s alluding to.
“About, the past?“ She looks over, and he nods, listening intently. “I mean, it was pretty terrifying, of course. She had her whole weird own philosophy about color and all that stuff.“
“But-” Steven stops himself from interrupting her further, but Connie stops.
“But aren’t you, I don’t know... mad?”
“It’s been 2 years.” Connie brings a bit more lightness into her voice. “Kinda hard to be mad after so long. She really got a lot better, she’s making up for it, I think.”
Silence. Steven stares at the sky, lost in thought, and Connie’s quiet voice catches him off guard.
Steven doesn’t know how to respond. He gulps. The endless sky stretches, and if he focuses, he can feel himself get lost in the endless spaces between the stars.
“Connie... would you be mad at me if I... I mean, is it bad that...”
“Come on, whatever it is, spit it out. You can’t change how you feel.”
“I...“ He rolls over onto his side, facing away from her. “I hate her! How can you just... pretend it’s fine like that!”
Connie goes quiet, and Steven wraps his arms around himself. He didn’t mean to yell, but at least he didn’t do it in her direction. He hears Connie sit up to look over to him with worry.
“Steven... I’m not pretending. It’s fine to me, but... that doesn’t mean it has to be fine for you.”
“But I’m... I’m supposed to forgive her, and forget everything.” He sits up as well, looking at his own hands. The same hands that shattered Jasper. The same hands that forced White Diamond to do a motion that could’ve killed her, if he’d done it right and not been so lost in her mind. “How can I stay mad at her for something like that? That’s just- that just makes me a hypocrite. I’ve done so much wrong.“
“Steven, you’re not a hypocrite for being mad at people who hurt you.”
“But I shouldn’t be. I should forgive her. I should be proud of her progress.”
“Well- you can’t control that.“ She pauses, turning to the dark, rolling fields stretching to the horizon. “But you can learn to cope with that. It’s okay.”
“It’s not.” He looks to the sky. “I- I almost hurt her.“
He goes quiet. Connie shifts behind him, and he feels her place a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t have to talk about it today. Just... It’s okay to feel bad about some people. You have your own limits. You don’t have to pretend you’re fine around her. You can maybe... tell her, or at least, avoid her.”
“That... would just be mean.”
“No, because you’re doing it to protect yourself.”
Steven feels her move to hug him. After an agonizing moment of sitting there stiffly, he quickly gives in and turns around to hug her back.
“You really think it’ll be okay? You think it’s okay to... feel like this?”
“It is. You don’t have to like her, Steven. And whatever happened, I’m still sure you would never want to hurt someone you don’t like, not on purpose.”
He tenses a bit, but lets her continue.
“I think you’re mature enough to just, avoid someone and keep living, you know? Sometimes, that’s all you can do.”
“Yeah.” His gaze goes from the endless stars to the fields, the trees, the distant light of houses in the distance. It’s a pretty scenery, too.
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
