An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Steven’s future self had been staying at the house with them for about two days now. He’d been elated at first to see what kind of guy he’d grow into—super tall with a cool pink jacket and a mysterious demeanor. But Steven was starting to suspect that there were things his future self wasn’t telling him.
“There’s things I’m not telling you, Steven.” His future self deadpanned. “It’s the future, I can’t just spoil everything.”
Hmm, real suspicious indeed.
or: SUF!Steven time travels. S1!Steven is confused.
Finalizei as próximas páginas de minha fanfic, e desculpei por ter demorado tanto, mas espero que gostem!/ I finished the next pages of my fanfic, and I'm sorry it took so long, but I hope you like it!
Some fanart of @lucigooseythelightbringer’s “Change My Mind”! This one was a lot of fun to work with, and I liked playing around with the reflections on the tiles. The sky was also fun to draw aha. Sky, blue void, whatever the “air” in the mindscape is called lol.
I really like this fic, though it’s definitely not for the faint of heart. The themes hit really close to home for me, sometimes uncomfortably so, but it’s so well-written and a really interesting take on Steven’s mental state that I just adore it. Read the tags, but I highly recommend this one! Read it here!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Steven's journey into the unknown, into who he is, and how to learn to live again, with a spice of nightmares, feelings and a lot of travelling, learning from his mistakes and from people he meets.
Who will he find in himself at the end?
(Post IAMM and disregarding the last episode, Future)
Characters: Steven Universe, Connie Maheshwaren, Connie is not focused on, The gems of LH as background, the Off-Colors as background
Warnings: Nightmares, Depressive tendencies
Relationships: Steven Universe & Connie Maheswaren
Tags: Tags to be added as story progresses so watch out for those, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Coping, Coping mechanisms, Trauma, Steven learns to live, This is just my “SU ended and now I am empty inside so here’s my continuation, OCs I guess but only to serve the story, Mommy Issues, Therapy, Steven gets therapy, Nightmares, Categories may be subject to change, Warnings may be subject to change, I have an idea for what’s in the chest just wait and see
Read on AO3
-------------------------------------------------
He plummets. Loosing the ground under his feet, feeling the loss of pressure in a rush of cold and terror. He doesn’t remember landing on the ground, but he’s up. Something is there.
He turns around to see a creature, spider legs and massive fangs and the body of a snake, eyes black with pink irises, glowing. Fixating him.
He runs, feeling clumsy and heavy and weak, not fast enough, pushing against a force trying to stop him, trying to hold him back. He pants, the air burning in his lungs, forcing his limbs to move while fear tries to paralyze him to stop.
The creature is fast, faster than him. He runs, still, even though it’s pointless. Faster. Faster. He’s not fast enough. He’s too weak, too slow, too clumsy, nonono-!
He trips on the darkness. The fangs rise, and with a start, come down on his naval.
He jolts upright with a start, breathing, panting heavily. One hand over his gem and the other clutching his chest, he heaves in the air, staring at the blanket in front of him until he calms down a bit.
He glances over at his clock. 4:15 AM. Another nightmare.
He lets out a huge breath and falls backwards onto the bed. It’s comfortable, but that doesn’t stop him from looking to stare at the ceiling through sore eyes, opening them just a bit. Keeping them open is hard, but something desperately keeps him from closing them.
The ocean waves quietly crash onto the beach. A rough breeze presses onto the face of the house facing the water, making it creak ever so quietly. It was a familiar sound, one he grew up with. He breathes in, and heaves the breath back out as if he’d run a marathon.
Familiar. The sound of the water fills his ears like static white noise, threatening to make him forget what his nightmare was about in the first place. Does he even want to remember? Maybe he should just let go, and fall back into habit. His mind is blank, and he starts moving on his own.
He shuts off his alarm. No need for that anymore. He takes the steps down quietly, making sure to pace his steps just right to avoid the steps from creaking. From the room, to the ocean, to the creaking, to the hushed way he moves between the furniture; It’s like moving from one island to another, one concept connected to the next, each action familiar. Nothing he can mess up here if he does what he’s always done.
Mechanically, he starts making himself a protein shake. Connie’s been telling him to get better breakfast, but he feels too tired to do anything else. Well, he doesn’t have to tell her. He looks out to the sky through the large glass windows where the stars peacefully await the break of dawn. He feels tired, worn out and at the same time like a cold stone statue that has nothing better to do.
What’s the point, anyway? His shake finishes fizzling, and he screws the lid closed, starting to shake the plastic bottle. The sound echoes through the room in a surreal manner, making him question if he really is awake all of a sudden. He blinks the thought away. No, he’s sure he’s awake. Just tired.
He sits alone at the table and sips the tasteless protein shake, feeling the powder on his tongue. The stars look back. An eerie quiet hangs in the room, and a small flash of white light at the edge of his vision makes Steven blink. He feels himself sunk into the chair, shoulders hunched. Nothing. The room is empty. He’s alone, accompanied only by the crashing of waves, his sore eyes and the disgusting taste of the protein shake.
How sad this is, he thinks. Steven Universe the savior, sitting in his living room at 4 AM, sipping a drink he hates while waiting for morning to come.
Suddenly he sees the bright light again. A butterfly. He stops in his movements, and forces himself to breathe. He’s hallucinating. The butterfly lands on one of the chairbacks calmly, waving it’s wings at him. He stares at it, and it flutters off, dissapearing by flying through the closed windows and turning into one of the distant stars.
He stares after it for another moment, blinking, trying to see if he sees any more of them. Nothing. Moments, minutes pass before he calms down, picking the bottle up again to continue what he was doing like nothing happened.
He sighs, placing the plastic bottle down and staring into the mix of liquid. He feels sick. He looks over the fridge to think of getting something else, and sees the small glowing bracelet that he’d stuck to the side of the fridge not too long ago.
His thoughts wander, from the bracelet to Connie to the hospital. Connie was with him in that underwater bubble he’d made. He didn’t remember everything, but he felt it was his fault, anyway. But humans don’t swell up when they feel bad, at least not like he does. Was Connie okay, though? Did she ever live past that? Did she speak to her mother about it? Did she get therapy?
Maybe he should have known about that, too. Shouldn’t he have been the one to bring her to her mother, or to some hospital or therapist after all that? He feels if maybe, he had payed better attention, he could have helped her better. Helped her the way she’s helping him now, to somehow make up for all the senseless trouble she has to go through.
He grips the plastic bottle tighter, feeling his shoulders hunch up. If he’d just left her out of all this. If he’d just been smarter, been… better. If he’d just been kinder, like- like she was. Rose.
No matter how he looks at her, the childhood dream of the perfect light holding everyone together, inspiring everyone, taking care of everyone still sits somewhere in his mind. A distant vision of that pale pink and white color, but, she wanted him here. ...right?
Did she really? He looks out to the stars. If she could see him right now, what would she think?
He feels pain sting his chest. The sore spot isn’t made better by the pathetic sight he feels he must be right now, sitting alone in the dark, reminiscing about everything that’s happened so long ago.
But it feels so real. It feels so present. It feels just like yesterday. It feels like there was something to live by and live for then, and now there’s nothing. A blankness of the present and the future. Something that almost makes him wish he could go back, back to when everything made sense.
He places his elbows on the table, shoving the drink aside. Some of the liquid splashes over onto the table, and he feels as if he’d been kicked in the gut. Great going, Universe. Can’t even keep the kitchen clean for five minutes. He buries his face in his hands.
The silence, the cold tugging at his bare arms, making him feel weak and fragile, the fact that nobody was going to come here in the next five hours at least were rising, building up in his throat. That’s what hurt, really. Nobody is going to come here anytime soon. He stares at one of the walls, and suddenly he feels tiny. Helpless. Stuck, waiting for that stupid warp pad to glow and tell him someone would still care if he’d dissapear.
But right now nobody does. He sobs, shoulders hunching further, hands pressed to his face. The silence continues to stand in the room and watch him. He sobs, the same way he did just a week ago after he’d turned back to normal. In that freeing, loud way that he’d never allowed himself to do before that moment.
He wants to feel better. He desperately wants to feel something else, even if it means crying loudly and ugly, and if somebody were to see him they’d feel pity and they’d probably be right to feel sorry for the teenager sitting alone in the dark and breaking down over nothing.
He cries, until the soft morning sun starts to peak over the horizon and send light his way, letting the stars fade back into the ethereal space they came from. And when the house was filled with light and birds started to bring bright chirps into the atmosphere, he sat there still, shoulders hunched over and eyes red and puffy.
He stood up, at some point, fingers and toes cold, pouring the rest of his shake down the sink and tossing the bottle onto the counter. The plastic clunked against the stone surface in protest, and bounced down to the floor and onto the wood planks, but he’d already started walking towards the stairs. He shoves his hands into his pockets. He has to go get his face washed, before the gems come in.
---
Soft, October sun warms this side of the beach. Connie sits next to him, sipping a milkshake, eyes focused intently on the task trying to get the last few drops out of the plastic cup. Steven sits with his shoulders hunched over, his drink half full, listening to the shake give gurgles of protest. She looks up to him and they both snort, looking away again.
The ocean waves roll onto the beach. Steven’s smile fades, unsure what to say or think. He looks out to the horizon, watches the light glitter on the surface of the water. Everything is like it was before. Except him.
He feels like a sore thumb, out of place as he forces a smile back at Connie, who said something about the bakery that he didn’t quite catch. He feels hollow, like something is missing from his chest. He gulps. He spent the morning in bed, tightly hugging his blankets like they could replace someone else. It didn’t help.
Connie says his name, and he turns back to her. She gives him a questioning look, but he just shrugs.
“Jus’ tired,” he murmurs.
“You sure?”
He shrugs again, not knowing what to respond with. The ocean waves keep crashing into the beach. Connie puts the plastic cup down next to her. They sit in silence.
“Well… I’ll come visit next week, maybe.”
“I thought you could only do once every two weeks?”
“I know, I know. But maybe I can shift tutoring to earlier in the morning.”
“Connie...” His voice is tired, doing his best to sound hopeful, to sound stable. “You don’t have to do that. You told me, once every two weeks, and I don’t want you to go back on that.” His voice grows quiet, hoarse. “...and make yourself miserable.”
“I won’t, I…” She trails off, her smile fading. “It’s a lot, but I’m sure I can do it.”
He shakes his head. “It’s okay.”
She sits with her arms stemmed on the bench, and one hand goes to hold her elbow. Sitting cross-legged, her top foot bounces up and down unsurely. Steven lets his glance wander back to the ocean, to the constant crash of the waves.
He closes his eyes, the salty scent of the ocean filling his senses. He’s just a burden here, again. But he knows that as long as he’s here, she’s going to be worried, and she’s going to keep visiting because he doesn’t know how to feel okay anymore.
He opens his eyes, looking to the horizon. “Once every two weeks will be fine, Connie. Don’t forget about yourself, okay?”
She opens her mouth, wants to say something, knows that there’s more to it than just this, knows that something is off because he won’t even look at her.
But she doesn’t know what to say. She looks down onto her knees, her smile fading too. “Okay.”
He wants to fix this, this horrible silence settling between them. He doesn’t know if he can. At the same time, his longing look into the distance makes him wish he was anywhere else, anywhere but here, having to sit out this silence, having to do things different with no way to tell what’s right and what’s wrong.
His hands clench into fists, but he doesn’t know what he’s doing. It just hurts. His shoulders hunch more.
Connie watches him, not knowing what to do. Maybe her mother would know. Maybe there’s nothing she can do.
As the waves crash, the seagulls call and the clouds pass, they both watch the sun set in silence.
---
Empty.
He walks around the house, up the stairs to his room, down to the kitchen. Empty. Like he’s missing something, and he has no idea what it is.
He plops down onto the couch eventually, groaning in frustration. Maybe it’s too quiet. Or he’s just lonely. Or futureless, or feeling guilty, or any other of the dozen reasons he can think of.
Sighing, he gets up to pace back and forth a few steps. He should probably do something, but nothing useful or particularly healing comes to mind. He stops and closes his eyes. If he were anywhere else, anywhere but here in this empty house trying to pick up the broken pieces of his life, it would be easier.
He looks out to the window, out beyond the horizon. He found his mind wandering more often, away from the million things he needs to fix and take care of or remember not to fix and not to take care of, all on top of changing his habits and whatever else he feels he still needs to do.
If he were anyone else, anywhere else, if he had to deal with anybody’s problems other than his own. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? He has to deal with his own. He has to change, and abandon old habits. Just without actually helping anybody less.
The warp pad goes off. He jumps up, smile on his face, hands moving to do something, pretend to have been doing the dishes, anything to make it look like he had been involved in something useful. Pearl steps off the warp pad, humming something. She has a rusted old sword with her, but she’s holding it as if it’s made of gold.
The gears in his head start to turn and fall into place. That must be from the battlefield. That’s good. His eyes go over her, taking in both relaxedness and happiness and the faint smile of nostalgia on Pearl’s features. That’s also a good sign.
“Hey, Pearl. Is that from the battlefield?”
“Oh, Steven! Yes, I decided, well, I finally had it in me to bring it back.” She eyes the sword in her nimble fingers before shifting her focus. “But how have you been holding up, Steven?”
Finally had it in her? What was stopping her before? He doesn’t recognize the sword. “I’m fine, I’m fine.” Was it a memory he hadn’t heard of yet? About his mother, or about some other gem? Was now the right time to ask? “Who’s sword is it?” He hopes present tense is right.
“This old thing? Oh, Bismuth made it for me thousands of years ago. It was the first thing that was ever truly mine.” She sighs, a distant sadness in her voice. “I lost it during a battle with quartz guards where the delta kindergarden was supposed to go.”
Right, that made sense. Steven can imagine what it must have felt like, loosing the first thing she owned during a fight after she swore to protect Rose and went after her new purpose. She must’ve felt like she failed.
“Well, there’s no delta kindergarden, so looks like you guys still won, right?”
A cheerfulness comes to her features and she smiles, an excitement in her voice that Steven rarely got to see. “We did! We beat those quartz guards right back to the warp pad in the end.” She held the sword into the air proudly.
Steven’s heart swells with warmth at seeing her so expressive, so much louder and prouder than usual.
Pearl’s gem gives a hum, and she stops for a moment to pull her phone out of her gem. “Oh! I’ll be late to my weaponry class.” She starts to head for the door, putting the sword away in her gem.
Before the door closes, she stops and looks back. “Steven?”
“Yeah?”
“I know I say this often, but, you can always talk to us, okay?”
Right. It hadn’t been long enough for the gems to forget about what happened.
He looks down into the sink. “I know. Thanks, Pearl.”
His smile fades as the door closes shut and he sighs.
He groans into his hands. Old habits die hard. How is he ever going to do that any differently? What could he have even done? If he told her about how his day and last night had gone, she wouldn’t have opened up about the sword. It’s not like she could fix any of it.
As the silence drags on, so does the emptiness, and so does the hollow feeling in his chest.
---
Lars and the off-colors are due to visit today.
Steven steps out of the shower, feeling refreshed after spending far too long at home and in the same clothes. He puts on the same shirt, his trusty jacket, and walks to the warp pad.
He stops right before it, contemplating. He checks the time. He’ll be too early, and he doesn’t want to come off as desperate. Not like last time. He cringes a little and goes outside to take the car.
Besides that, the alone time in the car seemed to do him good. Or maybe it was the distraction of driving, or the distant memory of car rides with his father, the endless landscape passing by the windows as the road gently rocked him to sleep as a kid.
The road there felt too short for the car, but at least he wasn’t too early. The small spaceport of LH had to reserve quite the area for Lars’ ship to land, and a handful of gems were already waiting. So he won’t be the only one. Good.
He saw Larimar, Snowflake Obsidian and one of the jaspers from funland that he hadn’t properly met yet.
They turn to him when he approaches, all excited smiles and shy glances, and he smiles back and greets them, remembers to ask Snowflake how the trip to the siberian research station went and gets the nickname of the jasper, Lacely.
A faint humm turns their attention upwards, a familiar ship entering the atmosphere, gently parting the clouds and touching down in front of them.
Steven wanted to rush in, but remembered to wait a moment to let Lars and his crew step out and be embraced by the other gems around him first. He spots Larimar and Padparadsha getting along better than he thought. Snowflake gives Rhodonite a playful shoulder punch, who returns it, making Snowflake pretend to be knocked over as they laugh. Only Lacely seems to stand somewhat lost, watching everything go down with wide eyes. Steven humms, ready to swoop in. He had a suspicion of what was going on.
“Hey, Lacely, have you met the off-colors yet?”
The gem stood shyly, her eyes covered and stance stiff. “Uh. Kindof.”
“How about I introduce you?”
Steven approaches Lars and Fluorite with the jasper, introducing them, watching the jasper blush as Fluorite compliments her hairstyle. Fluorite and Lacely go off to join Rhodonite as Fluorite insists on introducing them too, leaving Steven alone next to Lars.
Lars crosses his arms in front of his chest, looking down to the younger teenager. “Missed us?”
Steven shrugs a bit, trying to play it off and not look too emotional. “Yeah.”
Lars goes on, a bit more serious. “We heard about what happened.”
“Oh… yeah…” Steven’s mood drops, chewing the inside of his cheek briefly into the silence before he quickly goes on. “But it’s fine! Everything’s better now! Besides, your space adventures are bound to be much more interesting.”
Lars laughs, ruffling through Steven’s hair brotherly. “You’re still good ol’ Steven, huh? Always going on about everyone but you.”
“Hey!” Steven laughs as he moves his head away to get Lars’ hand out of his locks. “Just saying. Things have been as usual. Nothing special.”
The two almost-humans watch the other gems cluster together, standing side by side in silence for a moment. Steven glances over to see Lars smiling, happy to be home, happy to see his gem family getting along with others so well, happy to see them surrounded by people who appreciate them fully.
Lars isn’t one to draw in closely to social gatherings. What a contrast to what Steven had come to know at first, when all Lars seemed to care about was being friends with the cool kids, so that he could matter, so that he could feel like he belonged somewhere. And now that he knows where he belongs, he can contently lean against the ship with his hands in his jeans and smile into the october sun.
Steven’s smile falters a little as he looks over to the cluster of gems. He’s happy that his own close family has that too, of course he is. Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst becoming teachers all in their own way, helping gems find their new purposes, their new lives. Helping them in all the ways they wish someone would’ve helped them when they’d first arrived on earth.
So Steven should be happy, right?
Everyone says he needs to change. Lars changed, and from Steven’s perspective, it all made sense. He changed for the better, with each step he took and choice he made, moving towards something brighter. But Steven doesn’t know how he would change. He does everything to make the people around him happy, and sometimes it’s just not good enough and leaves him feeling empty.
He glances over to Lars again, and then to the gems. How it must feel, to just be, to laugh and be yourself and nothing else, and fit in with others like puzzle pieces. To be ones self with no visible limits or edges that need to be trimmed. To just breathe and live and make the people around you happy by just... existing.
Something in his chest does swell happily, although not entirely enough to fix the hollow feeling. They’re all so happy, so unique, so… themselves. The paths they went, the choices they made lead them here, to this place, to this happiness, this new family.
He sighs, and Lars looks over to him. “What’s up?”
“It’s just, they’re all so happy, and, “ he takes a small break not to sound too emotional, “and great, you know? They came so far. You came so far.”
Lars gives a nervous laugh. “Steven, you sappy kid. You came pretty far too, y’know.”
Steven gives a small laugh, a smile, not letting the slightly sinking feeling in his stomach show. He turns back to the happy gathering and ignores the feeling.
The hollow feeling in his chest expands. He wants to be there. Closer, there, amidst the smiles and comments and jokes and gestures and happy eyes. Closer, so the feeling would be easier to ignore, so he could be easier drowned out by people much better adjusted than him.
But it feels clingy. They seem fine without him. He could ruin it. With the way he always used to be he can insert himself, or insert someone else, but he’s supposed to change. What if he changes and they all finally realize they’re better than him? If he could just exist and fit, he feels like he would have done that already.
“So Steven.” Lars looks down to him. “What are you doing now?”
“Oh, nothing much.”
“Hey, weird idea. But did you ever wanna come with us to space?”
“Well, you’re a pretty tightly knit family. I wouldn’t want to interfere.” Before Lars can cut in, Steven quickly goes on. “Besides! I can visit whenever, right?”
“Yeah, but it’s the journey! I dunno, I guess space just has a pretty good record at helping me.”
“That’s okay. I mean. I don’t know if it would do that for me.” He rubs the back of his neck nervously, the words slipping out before he can stop them. “I guess I really like car rides.”
“You been doing a lot of those then?”
“Kindof.” Not really, he thought. From home to Beach City to LH and back.
Rhodonite walks up to Lars excitedly, bubbeling about Lars’ old pastry shop as she pulls him along. Steven waves them goodbye, saying something about needing to be somewhere at LH. The conversation feels blurry to him by the time he’s in his car.
He adjusts the rear view mirror, seeing his reflection. He looks tired, and without the large smile, sad. Lost. He yanks the mirror back into place, trying to forget his reflection as he drives back home.
A/N: This took me a bit, so I hope you guys enjoy! Just hope that I kept everything to what I feel like would happen, this takes place right after “Prickly Pair”. I got some references from some good artwork and others stories I’ve read in the past! So yeah!
A/N P.2: I need a title for this! I couldn’t decide of one! So read and help me figure one out! Thanks again!
Edit: Title is up!
-Sparki
_______________________________________________
The day started like any day. Steven woke up 7:13 am with his alarm, and he packed his bag, brushed his teeth and made a protein shake. He pulled out his agenda book too see what he had to do today until he heard a familiar voice.
"Steven!" Pearl said. He turned and smiled at her. "Hey Pearl." She smiled but it quickly turned to a frown, "About yesterda-" "I'm fine. Don't worry about it. Now I have to get to town." Cutting her off.
Pearl sighed as she waved him goodbye. And Steven was off. Though, his agenda today wasn't the normal since he doesn't run the school anymore.
He made his way through Beach City, he saw everyone with smiles on their faces, though the only without a smile was himself. "Just need some time..." Steven mumbled too himself as he drove towards an opening in the forrest.
Once he stopped he hopped on top of the car and relaxed himself with a sigh. He took off his jacket and looked to the early rising sun. The summer breeze settle his rising anxieties as he felt at peace with being alone...
"Alone..." The only thing that could come to his head. He didn't want to be alone. But the only way he could keep from going pink was too calm himself for the rest of the day. But that thought continued to ponder in his head, and "loneliness" started to appear in his mind.
He started to shake a little at the thought. His unsettled mind bringing more and more thoughts of neediness, of his anxieties, of his... Future...
He hopped off his car as he felt the anger seeping through him. He trailed off from the car, and continued feeling the pink seep through his body as he made his way to a small opening, where he led out a frustrated yell.
That yell crept through the forrest floor, the trees cracking, the ground following suit of the the trees. Flowers being ripped from their beloved home, birds and other animals scurrying away from the sudden dangers that appeared. While Steven kneeled to the ground onto his knees clutching his gem as he tears fell from his eyes.
After a few minutes, Steven finally got himself to relax, he sat up and looked around at his destruction. He looked to his hands in total fear as he realized that he was like his mother. He got up and started back to the car. The cracks through the ground continued as Steven walked. But they stopped after awhile.
Once Steven got back to the car. He climbed into the driver's seat and he wiped his eyes as he looked to the other side of the forrest to see the peacefulness of its beauty. He smiled, relieved that his destruction was limited to where he was. He then continued to go on with his day as his emotions calmed and relaxed from his explosion earlier. He held a smile that could make the townsfolk go, "There's the happy kid Steven."
Steven checked the school, though he wasn't in charge of it anymore, he liked to check in on everything and how the new gems were doing. He left quickly as he went to the top of the mountain above the house. He parked the car and hopped out and went and sat at the cliff side. He listened to the calming waves and steady breeze.
As he did that, two familiars came up and they sat beside him, Garnet and Amethyst. Both(Even though you can't see Garnet's eyes) carried happy but worriedly expressions. Steven didn't look at either of them as his body tensed up a little. But he quickly calmed. "Steven. About yesterday." Steven looked to Garnet, giving a small smile, "Don't worry about it. I'm fine." "Steven dude. You're obviously not fine." Amethyst cut in.
Steven sighed, "I'm fine. Don't worry." Steven said as he started to get up. Garnet reached for him, "Steven. You know you can talk to any of us. We can help you. Just come to us." Garnet said with a smile on her face. Steven gave a small smile back as he relaxed himself and started to walk back to the car.
He eased himself once he got back into the car. He started the car, but took a second before driving away back to the house. He got out of the car and walked inside up to his open bedroom. He sat on his bed. Interested in everything besides talking. He looked to his game console and looked to one of the controllers. He grabbed it and sat in front of his bed, he then switched on the console and watched the TV come to life with manufacturers symbol, watching as the console started up.
Amethyst and Garnet walked through the door. Amethyst walked up to Steven and sat down, "Room for a player two?" She asked, with hope he would say, "Yes." Steven replied.
Amethyst smiled, "Oh yeah! What are playing?" Amethyst asked. "I don't know. You decide." Steven replied.
Amethyst nodded as she picked up a random game and inserted it into the console. "I'm so going to beat you this time Steven." Amethyst said.
Steven put on a competitive look, "Bring it on." Steven determinedly spoke. Amethyst picked up a controller and the two started to have a good time together. A good time they haven't felt in a while since the school opened up.
After a couple of rounds. The two came to a drawing match that would determine the winner of their small tournament. Steven was on his last straw of health. As Amethyst came in, Steven finished the game with an ultimate move, winning the game. "Ah dang! You win! Good job Steven!" Amethyst said defeated. Steven put on a happy genuine smile.
"You hungry? I know I am." Amethyst said. Steven nodded. They both got up and went down for some food.
Later that night. All the gems were in their own rooms as Steven was in his own, under his bed cover sheets. Asleep soundly. Though a sudden pain had taking over his gem and unconsciously, Steven wailed to the pain that erupted. Quickly waking up, Steven sat up, putting a hand over his gem as he got up. Trailing to the bathroom as he felt sick to his stomach because of the pain.
He reached to the bathroom and ran to the toilet and threw up what he had eaten earlier. He closed the door and turned on the light after he cleared his stomach. He coughed a bit as he wiped his face with cold water from the sink.
He felt a sharp pain in his head that could pass as a headache, but when he looked up to the mirror, he seen two tiny horns that had formed. "What?" Steven said shakily.
He leaned up against the door and slid to the floor. His whole body ached, he lifted his shirt to look at his gem which seemed to glowing from what Steven could tell. But what he saw scared him to his roots. There were dark purple spots, spotting at his gem.
Seeing this made Steven jump up. He reached for the mirror, grabbing the diamonds essence. He filled the tub up with water. He put drops of the diamond essence like he would any other ȼ๏яяµρţ€ď gem. After he did his own and he quickly hopped in. Waiting for the spots on his gem and horns on his head to go away.
But even after what felt like hours, just a few minutes had only past, and nothing happened. The pain was still there and the horns remained. He then heard footsteps coming towards the bathroom door.
"Steven? You okay in there man?" Amethyst asked. Steven quickly jumped out and locked the door. "Yep! Everything is fine!!" Steven said frantically.
"Are you sure?" Amethyst questioned. She tried opening the door, but couldn't since the door was locked.
"Yep! Totally sure!" Steven said, trying to sound as happy as possible to keep his facade up from freaking out.
"Okay..." Amethyst said, then walking away from the door. Steven sighed as he looked at the tub filled with magic. He then seen the pink. The pink was more purple. Steven felt tears come to his eyes as he watched the water swirl around.
He needed to get out of there. Not let the gems see, who... No, what he has become, after all they did for him. He can't make them hurt over him.
Steven waited and waited, until he was sure no noise was outside the door. But he would be wrong once he got out. One of his eyes were now converting as well. His fingers turning into sharp claws, but still. He had to run. He unlocked the door silently and quietly. He creaked open the door and looked out. But there was the three gems looking worriedly, and when they seen him, now horrified. He had to run.
Steven immediately ran past them. "Steven!" They all called in unison. But Steven only blocked them out as he ran towards the warp pad.
He eventually reached and hit up against it. "Anywhere! Anywhere but here!!" Steven thought as the familiar gentle ease of light swarmed around him as he made it to a clearing. He ran towards an old set of ruins hiding in its rubble and staying there.
"I need to do this on my own. I can fix this!" Steven said to himself. And continued to mumble as he hugged his knees and stayed where he was.
Stars were always everywhere in Steven’s life. From the designs on his dad's van (his first childhood home) to the open night's sky in summertime where he could gaze at the cosmos before he ever knew what was out there to almost every single shirt he'd ever owned. From the stars plastered across the clothes of every member of his family to the small glowing stickers on the wall of his bedroom once he actually had a room and house.
From the starry-eyed look of absolute wonder he got the first time he ate a Cookie Cat (innocent and overjoyed) to the nickname of his mother that was then used for him (accusatory and belittling).
So when he came across the idea, he honestly thought it felt far too on-the-nose at first…
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
All the Colors of Light (and a few more)
Chapter 5
Read it too on Fanfiction
Summary: It has been three weeks since he’d hit the road, when Steven is invited to a party. Once there, he meets a lady that needs a hand.
From then on, he is dragged into a chaotic night when he learns three things
:One, his powers are still growing;
Two, drinking is no fun when you have to drive;
And three… there is people out there weirder than him.
Why did nobody told him ‘being human’ was so difficult?
Excerpt:
"Soledad?"
"Yeah?"
"I think I'm drunk."
"No kidding. What prompt… what… how can you tell?"
"Sky's moving."
Well, that wasn't all true; Steven actually felt like his head was moving, spinning at speeds never seen before. Steven had never been much for going to space —too many bad memories up there. At that moment, however, he wondered how is that everything that was up there made more sense than what was happening down here?
The only thing keeping him truly grounded was the girl at his side. They were really cramped there, over the Dondai, and Steven tried not to even touch Soledad, in fear it might open the bridge again. He has to many emotions on his own to having to deal with someone else's.
They spent some time chatting about nonsense they forgot as soon as it left their mouths. They only stopped when Rain and Peeps came by. By their looks and auras, they were tired —and drunker than they'll ever admit.
"You lovebirds are done there? Cause food's not free and you need to help me pack the camp."
As he stepped down the car, Steven's head went from being numb to being overcrowded.
Why did she mean by 'lovebirds'? I have I girlfriend! I did say that, didn't I?
Chapter 5 people. BIG ONE. Lots of plot, characterization, worldbuilding... It was a fun chapter to write
I hope you guys like it. AND KEEP IN MIND that the next chapter is the ending of part 1, so stay tuned.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Whoa! New chapter alert!! Fun times and good feels coming in hot~
Check out my SUF/GF crossover fic on AO3! Summary below :D
———————————————————
It’s just Steven’s luck to have his car break down in the middle of the woods. Of course this would happen on his cross-country road trip! But when Stan and Ford offer him a ride to town, Steven has no idea what he will discover in the mysterious Gravity Falls. With Mabel and Dipper, they unravel a new plot that could end the world as they know it (again). Follow the trio’s story from their unusual meeting to their inevitable departure, with every wild adventure in between.
