We’re sheltered in place and stuck at home with those whom we are the closest. I might expect to be comfortable and content with this, as an introvert. And it’s true, I was all right the first week. Then our kids started pushing back, not wanting to do schoolwork. Not to mention pushing each other around. I’ve considered the “get along shirt” more than once. There’s even difficulty in Nick and I finding space to have adult and very necessary conversations.
As I was reading second Timothy, I felt God speaking directly to me. It seems I can’t find patience to be a good homeschool mom. Well, I can, until I can’t. Honestly I’ve done things I never thought I would do, but that’s a story for another day. I struggle to be sober minded when there’s nowhere to find solitude and quiet; the two things my mind and body crave. I’m not evangelizing to my littles while I’m hollering at them for the millionth time to get their bums in their seats and focus on schoolwork.
Paul tells Timothy; “As for you, ALWAYS be sober minded, ENDURE suffering, do the work of an evangelist, FULFILL your ministry. 2 Timothy 4:5
Well, Sir Paul. Here I am, stuck at home with two beautiful children as I try to help them continue learning academically. Though my body is physically sober, my mind is indisputably struggling to focus. This feels like suffering. Not just my own suffering, but for my children too. How much can they endure of me losing my temper? How long can they listen to me repeat myself about getting their work done so they can go play? Are they even feeling the love of Christ ooze out of their mother into their life? I pray somehow they are and I’m trusting God to fill in the gaps.
As I read this passage I was reminded of more of Paul’s encouragements in Romans. He said,
“rejoice in our sufferings, knowing suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5
Don’t you just love when scripture comes together? I do. Here’s what Holy Spirit pressed on my heart this morning. Rejoice. Rejoice in the suffering of being sheltered in place. Rejoice while you are coming to your wits end, again. Rejoice while your children are fighting and learning how to work things out for themselves (even when it doesn’t feel that way). Rejoice because you get extra time with the kids; participating in their academics, playing new games and talking about the Bible. Rejoice.
What feels like suffering is really the beginning of character. The Holy Spirit is all up in our home, working hard to build character we will need for whatever our future holds. He’s working on the kids just as much as me. I look forward to their character growth on the other side of this thing. Character built on the hope we have in God. What better time to be pouring hope into them, just like Paul did with Timothy. The love of Christ flows through us, if only we ask Him to fill us while we are suffering.
Our perspective changes when we rejoice and find gratitude. It shifts from ourselves to those God has given us to share His hope, to build righteous character, and evangelize to and sometime those people are not far from the confined walls of our own homes.
Lord, help me realize I am fulfilling my ministry and may I live into the call You’ve put on my life, in this season.