#suhspiria

[000warning]

❝   oh, okay. ice-cold. got it. ouch.   ❞ dramatics flair, with a hand to her chest and a minuscule scrunch of her nose. look at her eyes and see she isn't really hurt at all. if she pokes the bear and it bites back.. at least it does something. this lone sense of purgatory is agonizing. * that's what this is, isn't it? lauralee would know, but it isn't like she can ask her. all she has is shauna shipman and jackie might be scathing right down to the hollowness of her bones but at least she has somebody. in the cold dark end it isn't so bad to have your best friend. but hasn't she suffered enough? (they've all suffered!) this can't be some form of divine ruination. it's a sick joke is what it is, dying in the damn snow alone. can't even die peacefully out here. what a sham! ❝   that's low even for your standards, shauna. besides— if i'm just a ghost who can't talk, why are you answering me?   ❞ jackie shrugs loosely as if to say: that sounds more like a you a problem. ❝   i guess it's the least you can do, though, since y'know, i'm only here for you.   ❞ lifting her eyes, she meets shauna's with a dissolving stare. ❝   or because of you. semantics or whatever.   ❞

⁽ ¹ ⁾ @suhspiria / ⁽ ² ⁾ gunpowder milkshake writing prompts “ no, no, you don’t get to talk. because you’re a ghost, and ghosts can’t talk. “

[000warning]

her eyes are heavy. they're always heavy, like the cruelties of the world; what has not existed before her very eyes has surely haunted her slumber. it's the price olivia pays for the job she chose. see, it's a simple thing, to drown in loss, and not just in death, but the entirety of loss itself. (this, i know) no matter how deep you bury it the well continues to grow. maybe it's the mould at the bottom, always hungry for more, opening itself up to the consistency of decay. the only thing that puts at bay for a little while is the reminder not of those who died, but those who have lived— who she has managed to save. it's a sad truth that they are most often the ones who are too easily overlooked.

❝   do you ever go home?   ❞ olivia quips, leaning in the threshold of saren's office, one hip propped against the doorway. there's a soft twine to her lips. her words drip in subtle mirth, if only because of their irony. when was the last time she really went home? even in the comfort of her own house, she hasn't learned how to shed the skin of lieutenant benson. it's a lesson in grace. in her hands, she holds two coffees. while she hoped saren would've called it quits for the night there was a part of her that knew hadn't. they'd always been cut from the same cloth. ❝   figured you could use one of these. and to get the hell out of this office.   ❞ it's not even night anymore. the sun is beginning to shine in tiny pockets through the clouds. time had a habit of slipping away.

¹ @suhspiria (saren) / ² sc ♡ .

[popularmxnster]

i was so stupid trusting you. / from sam !

Billy took a deep breath and rubbed his temples. "What do you fucking want from me?!" He snapped at her. He was incredibly hungover and the yelling made his head throb. Once again his alcoholism had caused issues and he was too drunk to show up for Sam. "I know okay? I fucking know. I'm well aware I fucked up. I'm well aware I am fucked up." He threw the beer bottle and it shattered loudly when it hit the fire place. " I'm fucking trying!" It wasn't that he disliked her or didn't want to be there. He just didn't know how. His own dad never showed him any type of love and as much as he promised himself he would never turn into Hank Loomis, he was doing it. He drank too much and got mean when drunk but that was his way of avoidance and suppression. "I'm fucking sorry Sam. Okay? I know I suck as a dad but what the fuck do you expect? I wasn't a dad until not fucking long ago. I don't know what the fuck I am doing!"

[002shot-arch]

a half-scoff, half-hah breaks through the part in her lips, tongue pressing against the back of her teeth. tess doesn't believe for a single solitary second that whether or not she cares really matters. the way she's looking at saren suggests as much too; chaotic amusement creasing by her eyes. ❝   you really give a shit if i mind or not?   ❞ if the roles were reversed, tess wouldn't care —— thinks she might respect her even more if the word no aired and she lit the damn thing up anyway. (yeah, that's what i'd fucking do) crack open a pack and choke on the smoke just to prove a point.

she isn't the one with the power here though. at least not any kind of power that makes up for anything in these walls. it's what makes tess slide into one of the chairs, kick a leg up and only press it against her other knee instead of right across the table top. this was a mutually beneficial transaction. she's gotta show some respect. ❝   you went outta your way to set up this meeting. now you're askin' me crap like this— must be real good.   ❞ tries to remove the breathe of anticipation from her words. never letting anyone see you sweat is one thing, but you can't let 'em know they've got you too roped in either. it's a fine line. let your toes hang over too much and you're a goner. oh, she's always been a sucker for toying it.

¹ @suhspiria (saren) / ² still born. ... do you mind if i smoke?

[000warning]

she's cracked clay, spilling out liquefied insides. there's an old saying about how the hands that make you can break you easiest of all, but can the same be said about walls? because if the walls of this fucking prison could do a damn thing —— they'd be shattering her for all to collect like little rodents over crumbs. bea thinks she wouldn't mind either. this mould she's created, it doesn't fit her anymore. she's spent too many days contorting her body every which way, making it smaller and making it larger, snapping her bones and hollowing out her organs .. all for the name of top dog. (and where the hell has it gotten me?) there used to be a carefully labelled caution tape separating her old life from this life but these days she barely even recognizes the reflection staring back at her let alone another version. thinks she doesn't want to, not anymore. it would be so fucking nice to just lay it all down.

❝   that so, eh?   ❞ her brows lift with a single nod of her head. betting on a losing horse was never a good way to go into anything but bea doesn't say that. she's learned all too well that goodness in here isn't an asset. not for her. it was just a key to corrupt her. maybe she should've hid it from herself better. ❝   gonna tell me what changed your mind or just gonna leave a woman guessing?   ❞

¹ @suhspiria (kaz) + ² random sentence prompts .. remember, i'm still betting on you.

[notsaints]

( @suhspiria, chloe. ) ∎ it's always something with you, isn't it? it's always an emergency.

“ detective — ” apology dies on lips before it can leave, phone screen dying to dimness as it falls to side, stepping after chloe. he hates to leave, realizes the work they do is important — important to her, & therefore, important to him. but more pressing issues beckon, & he cannot leave it to wait. it burns, knowing someone is tampering with that which he considers his: hell's kingdom abandoned, heaven's gates closed.

gently, hand finds her shoulder, trying to pull her attention back to him. “ detective, please. if it wasn't an emergency, of course i would stay, but — it's lux. i can't just leave it, even as capable as maze is on her own. ” voice drops to softer tone, near a plea as silence stretches between the vast space keeping them at odds, “ . . .come with me. ”

[notsaints]

( @suhspiria, linda. ) ∎ it's really okay if this is not your thing.

there are few things about earth that make her stay here more bearable — liquor, the sex & violence humans love, the promise that they'll go back to hell eventually, & lucifer's doctor, linda. she leans onto elbows, knees spread a little, tilting her head. watching linda in contemplation, almost fascination, hands loosely twined together.

“ so — what? ” she finally breaks, half - laugh barked out. “ you sound so nervous. what are you thinking? c'mon, tell me. ”

[loath3d]

eleanor looks over at the door, having just heard it open and then close. she sees her sister there, and a sad smile comes over her. ❝ i wasn't sure if you'd actually come. ❞

starter for / @suhspiria