THE CUT THAT ALWAYS BLEEDS
synopsis: was it wrong for sukai to think you’d always be with him? ⌙ 3.0k
pairing: childhood bsf!kinjo sukai x fem!reader
genre: angst
tags: all of us are dead!au, childhood friends to lovers (kinda not really), non-idol!au, highschool!au
warnings: mentions of blood/injuries, zombie apocalypse, implied de/ath, a little bit of gore cause of the zombies?? there’s no comfort around here :/
author’s note: i’m currently rewatching aouad so i wrote this….
it felt like your body was going to shut down any second. the pitter patter of footsteps consumed your senses as you kept running and running, still lost in the maze that was considered your school. your friends followed behind you as you moved, in an attempt to find an empty classroom — room or something to shield you from the creatures.
of course you were terrified, who wouldn’t be? thoughts and emotions alike failed you yet you carried on.
but as always perseverance was key, right?
“over here!” sukai whisper-shouted from beside you.
he had found somewhere to stay safe from the zombies.
one by one, the group eagerly rushed into the overturned classroom, barely escaping the monsters outside. a hand had been caught in between the door, the zombie it was attached to growling slowly while moving its fingers with erratic movements. assembling together, everyone stood in front of the door and pushed it shut with all the might you could muster. the hand, now detached, fell to the floor with a thud.
your group wore expressions of disgust on their faces, physically cringing away from the scene. you of course did the same; moving towards a chair, you collapsed down quickly before your legs gave out. as you glanced around the room, a frown tugged at your lips, there were some missing.
what started as a group of twelve close-knit friends, then became nine and then finally six; sukai, kyosuke, ayane, yuma, rino and you. it was obvious they were worn out and you didn’t blame them.
you missed the others. so much. but you couldn’t help to believe it was your fault.
“we can’t stay here. we have to get out of the school.” kyosuke interrupted, his voice weak and raw.
“that’s fucking suicide, makki.” sukai argued, glancing around the room, his eyes settling in on dull eyes and exhausted faces. “we’re in no shape.”
“so you’d rather us drop dead from starvation?”
all eyes turned to rino.
“you’re crazy if you think we’re going to get through that hoard of monsters over there.” sukai simply replied.
this time yuma spoke up. “rino and kyo are right, there aren’t any options.”
amidst the chaos, your gaze flickers to sukai’s face, examining the clear signs of exhaustion plastered all over it.
“i agree.” your tone was firm.
and this time sukai could only relent.
yuma walked to the window, peering at the grown under. he hummed lightly, before turning back.
“i think i have a plan.”
immediately, you all gathered in the centre of the room.
“since we’re still on the ground floor, we can jump out this window.” he gestured towards it before continuing. “the fence isn’t that far, we have to first make it to open field and then the construction site; maybe even stop if necessary. there aren’t many zombies on this side so it’s the safest route.”
ayane stood up. “let’s get a few minutes of rest before we move, it won’t do us any good if half of us faint the minute we step out there.”
you sat, slumped against the wall of the classroom, only moving over to make space once sukai joined you. staring straight ahead in a daze, you feel a nudge from beside you.
“drink.” he said, pushing a bottle in your hands.
but it was mostly empty. “what about you?”
“me? you look half dead right now, just do me a favour and drink.”
“sukai—“
“i’m fine.”
hesitantly, you brought it to your lips before downing the water. it wasn’t much, but you were thankful.
for the remaining minutes, you both stayed there with the occasional glances at each other.
“will we make it out of here?”
a chuckle slipped out from you. “what happened to the tough guy image?”
“hey…” he trailed off, half-smiling.
you smiled, hand finding his. “of course we will. together.”
being sukai’s best friend for almost his whole life had its perks. you could easily read him, at least enough to know when he was truly concerned. you were grateful he found you reliable and trustworthy enough to be vulnerable with.
“together.” he repeated.
“make sure you’re armed.” kyosuke reminded, ever the responsible one in the group.
in careful preparation, you all scavenged the room and supply closet for objects that could be utilised as weapons; really just anything, ranging from brooms to screwdrivers or crowbars. there couldn’t be anymore setbacks, you thought, you didn’t know what you would do if another one of your friends got bit.
sukai approached the window first, pulling it open and peering down to see if it was clear.
“come on.” he nodded and gestured towards you, swinging a leg over the railing, and pushing off.
one by one, you followed his lead, sighing shakily once your feet touched the hard concrete beneath you. you advanced slowly, crouching while hiding behind walls.
reaching the back of the school building, your group’s movement came to a swift halt as per yuma’s whisper. there was a crowd of zombies, walking around aimlessly, groaning and bumping into each other.
“shit.” you heard rino whisper in front of you.
your grip tightened around the crowbar in your hand subconsciously. but you were obviously outnumbered.
you shook your head. you couldn’t think like that.
you shouldn’t think that.
a hand found its way to your shoulder. sukai.
“don’t be nervous. remember what we said.”
still crouched, you peered from the wall, noticing the cars parked in a frenzy around the field. fortunately most of the creatures roamed the basketball court which was far enough for you to get by unnoticed. however, time was ticking.
“we should split up into pairs, use the cars as a shield.” you suggested. “keep your weapons close and don’t make any sudden noises. be subtle.”
everyone else nodded in response. ayane and rino were the first to move, with the latter taking the lead and stealthily pulling ayane along to the first car. they crept forward, the faint sounds of their footsteps and occasional zombie growls surrounding them. soon, they finally passed the basketball court and reached the school’s sports shed, its stature providing a place to hide. and shortly after, kyosuke and yuma caught up with them, keeping their voices low. and then finally you with sukai.
once all at the shed, there was a calmer atmosphere. everything was going well.
that was, until it wasn’t.
was it your fault? probably.
this time, you moved swiftly as a group, the construction site was only a few metres away, and there was almost no zombies in the direct route. it was possible.
you were going to get out. with your friends.
there was nothing to shield you so the only option left was to beeline for it. and that’s exactly what you did. adrenaline pumped through you as your legs carried you as fast as they could, the grass padding underneath your feet. you were towards the back with sukai beside you, now moving infront.
that was until something wraps around your ankle, tugging you down. your shin hits the ground, and hard. a zombie. fingers clawed at you as you freeze in fear, its face becoming visible to you.
it was one of your friends, junki.
only a few moments slipped by before something pierced the skin of your calf, sending a jolt of pain through your body. you grit your teeth against the agony, feeling the creature's grip tighten. hoisting the crowbar high above your head, you brought it down, striking in one swift motion. the impact connected squarely with the zombie's skull, its grip on you loosening.
your throat tightened, the weight of your action crashing down onto you. that was your friend.
sukai rushed to you in concern.
“can you stand?” his words snap you out of your haze-filled daze.
you only slowly nod before using your hands to push yourself up — surprised when a stumble in your step nearly sent you down until sukai caught you.
“it’s just my leg.” you gestured to it. “we need to move.”
the others had already made it to the site safely. there wasn’t any time left to lose, the zombies were closer now.
hurriedly, sukai brings your arm around his shoulder, helping you move quickly. and somehow, his hard work paid off.
ayane moved a block on the ground, settling you down softly. only then does your leg start to ache, prompting you to peer down at the now-spreading crimson spot on your white socks.
slowly, you roll it down, exposing the large gash on your calf paired with a green-ish bruise on your shin. that’s once you realised.
you had been bitten.
glancing up, you noticed sukai unbuttoning his shirt and moving towards you.
“here.” he crouches down, getting to work wrapping the white cloth around your leg, tying it neatly. “just rest for a minute.”
you can almost taste the bitterness of regret in your mouth as the echoes of creatures roaming around overwhelmed your senses. now, you were sure of what to do.
getting up, you leaned against the wall for support watching as he did too.
“i can buy us some time.” all heads turned to you at the sound of your voice once again.
“i’m not following...?” sukai’s gaze alternated between everyone as he questioned your words.
exhaling shakily, you pressed once again. “i’ll stay here, so you all can leave. safely.”
“are you crazy?” yuma quipped.
a dry chuckle left your mouth. as if this wasn’t about the only time you were actually being sensible.
“i won’t make it out of here either way.”
“no. there’s no way.” now, it was sukai’s turn to blink in disbelief. “you’re coming. you’re going to leave with us. and we’re going to be saved.”
“i can’t leave you. i won’t.” his voice was weak as the adamant confession left his mouth.
“there’s no point, sukai. i would only slow you down.” you refused to meet his gaze, only glancing down at your injured leg. “please. don’t make this more harder for me than it already is.”
stepping closer, the boy cried.
“i’m here, i can do it— i’ll be able to. just not you.”
“no. i won’t let that. they need you over there.” gesturing to the uneasy group behind him. “you’re fast, smart and capable.”
trying your hardest, you suppressed your tears, you never wanted to leave your friends. you never wanted to leave sukai.
enveloping your hands in his, a light plead left his lips.
“look at me, [name]. don’t do this. i won’t be able to do anything without you. i need you.”
“i got bit, sukai. there’s no saving me.”
the boy lowered his head in defeat, and somehow the pain lodged deep in your chest worsened.
“you’d said we’ll leave.” his voice broke. “together. remember?”
( during the bus ride home, sukai’s head rested comfortably on your shoulder, his features peaceful while he slept blissfully. and you couldn’t help but to watch through your peripheral vision. your content sigh was immediate. however, that was the moment when you realised. you liked kinjo sukai.
‘attachment was never the plan.’ you could remember repeating internally. though, it was all in vain. nothing could stop the feeling when around him.
the feeling of your heart almost jumping out your chest. the feeling of your head reeling whenever in close proximity with sukai. the feeling of not just like, but love.
“what are you deeply thinking about, hm?” a voice rasped out.
sukai shot you a wide grin, the remnants of slumber evidently displayed across his features. with eyes slightly puffy, and misplaced hair strands from being on your shoulder for too long — sukai has never looked cuter, you think believe. )
“don’t you know i feel the same? but i need to do this too. it was always coming, you knew it. i knew it. they knew.” a smile turned at your mouth tilting your head to finally meet his eyes, the tears finally falling. “just know that i love you, okay?”
“you love me?”
“i thought that was obvious.” you paused, seemingly realising something. “give me your hand.”
he complied hurriedly, outstretching his hand with a raised brow in confusion. fishing something out of your jumper pocket, you placed it promptly in his palm.
it was your name tag.
“[name]…” his head was down.
the fact was that kinjo sukai wasn’t sure if he was strong enough to not sob right then and there.
two trembling but nimble hands found their way to his cheeks, cradling his face softly and tilting his chin up.
you softly whispered, voice only loud enough for him to hear. “make sure you live your years to the fullest and have an amazing life. don’t cry too much and don’t worry. i won’t forgive you if you do.”
“but—“
soft and plush lips came into contact with his, cutting his words. the kiss quickly ranged from sweet to salty when the boy started crying. it was slow and full of emotion.
you pulled away shortly.
“i’ll miss you. so fucking much.” the words came out a whisper from him.
the banter never made it past your lips. instead, you didn’t reply.
it was clear that you were scared, but you’d gladly sacrifice yourself for the ones you loved. for kinjo sukai, the man you loved. one second stretched into a minute, time slowed when in his presence.
the way his concern-filled gaze pierced yours made your voice shaky. “i’ll distract them and give you time to run. once you make it past, don't look back, just keep moving.” you paused. “stay safe, okay?”
( “do you think we’ll ever be apart?” sukai asked, fiddling with the cheese stick you’d bought to share — he offered to wear your backpack on his front in return — trudging his feet along whilst walking the pavement. “you know, with how you’re planning to go to university after.”
tapping your chin, you pretended to be deep in thought. “you’re not going to attend uni?”
“i’m still thinking about it.”
“let’s go to the same university then. ‘cause i don’t think i can go without you.”
the proposal was short, yet it seemed to cause his heart to race quicker in his chest. a light crimson painted sukai’s cheeks which he hid much to his dismay by adjusting the straps of both your backpacks. when he glanced over, you’d already caught him out, chuckling lightly.
“stop it.” he mumbled. “you’re always making fun of me.”
that was before the boy suddenly jolted forward, nearly tumbling over. in a swift motion, you had slyly managed to kick the back of his knees, contentedly watching him almost crumple down before breaking out into a sprint.
“last one to the traffic light!” )
after retracting your hands, they fell to your sides almost immediately. just as you turned around, you heard the cracking of pebbles under several feet before feeling a tap on your shoulder.
it was your friends.
stood side by side, they frowned, before rino stepped forward and placed two trash bin lids in your hands.
“i know i can’t really stop you. so we won’t let this be in vain.” she frowned, the others following along with their own saddened expressions.
just as yuma widened his arms, the sound of bone cracking echoed, the ring finger of your left hand jerking up.
“you guys need to go. now.” you swallowed thickly in an attempt to calm the thumping of your heart.
“please. do it for me.”
sukai inched closer towards you once again. “[name].”
“get out of here.” the words came out harsher than intended. you placed a hand in front of your body, glancing towards your friends for help. “guys, please.”
the thought of sukai seeing you turn was heartbreaking.
when they started to crowd around him, trying to pull him away, you limped to the far end of the construction site, through the concrete walls.
you began hastily clashing the trash bin lids together. ‘what a cacophony indeed,’ you could almost hear kyosuke joke. and with the loud noise, you heard groaning and loud footsteps heading straight towards you.
this was it.
and that was the last sukai saw heard from you. the group too heard the sound of collective footsteps towards the construction site they’d just escaped.
kyosuke dragged sukai by his shirt, pulling him along as they sprinted towards the fence guarding the school from the neighbouring area. luckily, the fence had been cut. ayane and yuma, being the smallest of the bunch, slipped under first to pull it back for the rest to fit.
they were free of the school. so they kept running and running.
only minutes later did they reach something peculiar. a barricade with people crowding behind it. people, not zombies. black uniforms filled the site. they had finally found help.
they were saved.
and kinjo sukai should’ve been overjoyed, he knew. but only tears dampened his cheeks and memories of you crossed his mind.
two trembling fingers raised themselves to brush his lips lightly. the ones you kissed, and his clenched fist that cradled the worn-out nametag. the taste that crowded his mouth was bitter.
that was all he had to remember you.
reblogs are appreciated!!