#summary of work

[newhologram]

10 years ago, I decided to put myself out there. I hit the ground running with no training or experience. My family expressed their doubts in me and suggested I do something "safer." I was still healing from extricating myself from multiple unhealthy friend groups and a year earlier I'd been officially diagnosed with my first "big" chronic illness. About a year after starting my career, my cat Cleo died from cancer and I was diagnosed with another. Then the next year, another. And another, and so on. Constant doctor appointments and trips to the ER for flare ups I couldn't manage. My entire career I have been sick at auditions, sick on set, taking hiatus every time my body needs time to recover. I'm on another hiatus right now trying to coordinate a complicated surgery. I'm in a lot of pain every day. I have a PET scan soon because my lymph nodes are enlarged. I'm scared. I was also closeted for most of my career. Back then, it still wasn't really as easy to be "out" in Hollywood, big or small, as queer and trans-nonbinary. Things have changed. These days, there are so many auditions where I can be myself. Even though I haven't worked much the past few years because of my health, I'm so happy looking back at the projects I've been able to do. I shouldn't have had to suffer so much in silence on set, throwing up in secret, hiding my symptoms, trying to time my pain meds so I could still function and drive home at wrap. But I feel proud. And I feel so loved. I think of all the times followers messaged me when they saw me in a random commercial or TV show. The support I get from kind people online has kept me going, especially when chronic illness, disability, and trauma has me isolated and unsure of my future. I hope that my health can get better so I can get back to it. In the meantime, I'm beaming with joy at past projects and the small personal projects I work on during my down time at home. Thank you for the support over the past 10 years. I've grown and healed so much because of it. I'm curious to find out what this next chapter of my life will be like. And I hope I can keep sharing it with you all. Petra gif by @disdaidal

[newhologram]

I didn’t do a summary of work post for 2017 since I took most of the year off to heal my spine. I worked some cool jobs in 2018 despite mostly focusing on being home to take care of the old man cats (RIP, babies). 

I did commercials for Lyft, Sunday Riley, NatureLab Tokyo (my 2nd Japanese CM), and worked on some movies and shows such as The OA, Big Bang Theory, Ad Astra, The Runaways and many others that I cannot possibly remember. I got some cool placements closeby (but of course wasn’t allowed to speak to) Jake Gyllenhaal, Meryl Streep, Laura Dern, Charlize Theron, Brad Pitt, Milana Vayntrub, Jenna Fischer, and others I can’t remember. Of course, I made a lot of new friends too. 

We’re just over a week into 2019 and a lot has changed in my world that is making me reflect on where I’m at. I’ve been doing this for a while now and I feel like I’ve learned everything I was supposed to from it. Here’s hoping that my next summary of work is more in line with my own personal creative goals and my purpose. Thank you for your support.

[newhologram]

Summary of work 2016

I did a looot of bg last year so I can’t really remember all of them, but I also did other cool things. Here are a few highlights.

Not Safe with Nikki Glaser commercial

Faking It 

Supergirl

Photoshoot with Erika Furuhashi and Ryan Kevin (alts)

Dear White People (Keep in mind as an actor I pretty much have zero say in how they dress me and there’s a specific reason for this look that will make sense if you’ve seen the movie or when you watch the show when it comes out)

myStrength

... I can’t remember what show this was at all, but it was fun!

The Goldbergs

Ramen Bar short student film

Summary of 2013 Summary of 2014 Summary of 2015 As always, a HUGE thank you to the followers who support my work and also for all of the emotional support when my health gets me down. Working as a disabled actor/model isn’t easy but I want to do this. I couldn’t do this without you guys, you are so important to me. I love that I can share my work and my life and I cherish our connections. 

Thank you for everything, and let’s make this year great!

Reminder that I have a YouTube and a new vlog is posted every Saturday. I have videos about fibromyalgia/narcolepsy/spoonie life in general as well as other stuff like makeup, food, and cat care. 

Watch my 2017 New Year vlog to hear about my goals for this year.

☂ https://ko-fi.com/516ON8L1OPGD ←I now have a “tip jar!” ☁ https://www.patreon.com/newhologram ←And a PATREON!

[newhologram]

I don’t have a lot of gifs for 2015′s summary of work, mainly because I did so many jobs that I can’t keep track of them all and I can’t always get them on file to make gifs in the first place since this year it’s been mostly TV. And a lot of stuff won’t be out until next year anyway. (So, have some funtiems work selfies too?)

In order of pics/gifs:

Two Minds - Nero 

The Goldbergs Season 2 finale (I recently did a few things for s3 too!)

Kiss All the Bullies Goodbye - Sir Ivan

Castle Season 8 

Photoshoot at KC Salon

Blunt Talk Season 1 

Brainy Bunch pilot 

Masters of Sex

Scandal

The Middle (that’s the fountain from Friends!)

Aaand there were many more, including but not limited to: Superstore, Supergirl, Muppets, Filthy Preppy Teen$, Nothing Without Love - Nate Ruess,  Bunked, Dr. Ken, The Mindy Project, Transparent, Togetherness, Rush Hour, Jane the Virgin, CSI Cyber, 2 Broke Girls, NCIS LA, Scorpio, Bella and the Bulldogs, Gameshakers

As always, thank you to my followers for your continued support and for allowing me to share what I do. 

New 

Summary of 2013 Summary of 2014

P.S. I’ve started vlogging again! Not only just regular vlogging and Q&A’s, but skincare, haircare, other products, games, and I have some other fun stuff planned too! Subscribe to my YouTube and be part of the fun. 

[cinestruction-blog]

spaces film project

So the full film is made pretty much, just doing some final tweeks. I am going to write more about my process here but here is a summary. I initially started out thinking about masculine and feminine space, inspired by Chantal Akerman films, I was really thinking about Internal space and External space and how different genders are socialised and mobilise in these spaces.  I explored these spaces by researching online other artists who have explored these issues, as well as generally searching images associated with combinations of keywords that made me think about different spaces (domestic, gender, male, female, masculine, feminine, alienation, liberation, constraint, ritual, obsession, safety, class etc). I also went around Leeds exploring different spaces and how they made me feel, as well as how they felt in terms of gender, class etc.. observing how different people engage with space. I took a range of photographs. This started me thinking about what belongs and doesn't belong in those spaces and how this should be challenged, portrayed, and/or reflected in different ways. I researched the lenses, technology used in documentary photography that I thought represented these spaces in ways I found interesting. Thought about how I might use technology etc. I also spent some time thinking about how space is divided between public and private. I made some color images that explored this division. But.. I decided not to go in this direction. Although I found it interesting. Istarted to feel more interested in reflectin how space and hour relationship to it changed depending on the type of people we are.. out health, our age, gender etc..  Things I thought about were what other artists have dealt with this and how could Ido it differently. Who did I want to represent. How was I to avoid being overly stereotypical and contrived in how I represent these issues.. for example.. how to avoid perpetuating gender stereotypes about womens space, mens space. One way I avoided this was by having a diversity of genders, sexualities, class etc.. represented.. including people who challenged the conventional  stereotypes... but not merely by doing the opposite.. but showing complex nuances to gender/age, and also mental health... for example: a female weightlifter (not typically a feminine pursuit, but still manifesting a physical obsessive/fantatism that has parallels with more feminine relationships to the body, but in a different modern slant), mixing some masculine and some feminine attributes. I also explored sound and audio. I wanted to include the diegetic noise of the space. But Sometimes I wanted to go further by fading into soundtrack music in parts and manipulating the audio. Playing with our relationship to the space/time/memory.  Other decitions I made were to do with focal length, shot width, composition, editing, and color (I decided to go black and white, explained in more detail on another post, link will be posted here). 

[newhologram]

Everyone did those "summary of 2013" artwork things and well, I thought I could do it for some of the work I did this year! Not every job has gif-worthy appearances because some of them I am just background and you can't really see me, but I've had a pretty good year for my first working as an actor and model. So here are some gifs and I'll put a list too of other things! This is just official paid industry work, not including the film festival or student stuff I did.

So in 2013 I worked:

Downtown - Lady Antebellum 

Work - Iggy Azalea (first gif, featured)

Burlington Coat Factory fall commercial (second gif, featured)

Love is Changing History: Jenny by AT&T/The Trevor Project and co-directed by Pauley Perrette (third and fourth gifs, ☆starring☆)

Google Nexus 5 wedding commercial 

Comme un Éléphant - St. André 

I already have two jobs (four days of work!) to shoot for the second week of January. I'm gonna keep working hard and auditioning my butt off! Thanks for all the support. 

New Hologram