Do you think dbt can be harmful? (Obviously not entirely) but sometimes I feel like I am trying to over control my feelings.
hmm well imo the aim of dbt isn’t to control your feelings, but to be a little more effective in your response to them. i think dbt actually says that you can’t control your emotions. so even if you’re doing distress tolerance or something, the first step before distracting or whatever skill you’re using is to validate the emotion (“ok i am feeling really sad right now. the emotion is valid simply for the fact that i feel it, but is the intensity of it or my reaction valid/justified? if not, i will tolerate the emotion or distract from it” or whatever). if you feel like you are more focused on the “change” side of the dialectic, maybe try to practice more skills on the “acceptance” side (mindfulness and distress tolerance).
another skill i didn’t write about is “SUN wave” - notice your sensations, urges, name your emotion (no enhancing) and then “ride the wave” of the emotion. so for example, say you’re starting to feel really upset. stop and think about the sensations you’re feeling - are you hot, do you have a lump in your throat, do you have tingling sensation, etc. - then notice your urges - do you want to scream, cry, hide, run away, fight, etc. - then name the emotion you think you’re feeling (from the data you’ve gathered). don’t intensify or enhance it and recognize that you are not your emotion, you’re just feeling it - “ok so what i’m feeling is anger” - and then decide to just ride the wave of the emotion until it’s decreased without acting on it. and sometimes it’s really really really uncomfortable, but it’s a way to show you that the emotion itself won’t hurt you - it’s your reaction to it that can. and as you “ride the wave” more and more, the emotions won’t seem as scary or dangerous anymore.
