trying, trying, trying

34. she/her. social worker in recovery.

[thcrin]

I am Chidi. Chidi is me.

[selfcarereminder]

the version of you from five years ago would be genuinely amazed by what you’ve handled since then. sit with that for a second

[everyday-cutephoto]

[romanceyourdemons]

this is my first time in the pacific northwest. we drove through a forest so wet and foggy you couldn’t see the bends in the road ten yards ahead of you and it straight up felt like a horror game until we emerged into a sunny valley with a rainbow over it and then we went to a taco bell and in it there was a guy dressed like a hot dog and a guy dressed like hamburger. is it all like this

[spilledmymilk]

[brunchbitch]

Things are hard but we switched to four hours between feedings last night bc Quinn gained above his birth weight and pediatrician approved it and 3.25 ish hours of sleep between feedings instead of 2.25 ish is really nice

[balaclava-trismegistus]

Just saw my doctor type "FUCKED FOR LIFE" on my chart then he turned the screen away and stopped making eye contact with me

[glowcowboy]

might fuck around and save my own life one day at a time

[64mpg]

ads targeted to women: omg you are thirtyyyy. kill yourself

[flannelgirlfriend]

I love this post so much my friend put it on my 30th birthday cake

[museify]

[brunchbitch]

Going in to see the midwives today to get my BP taken (still a little elevated), incision checked, and mostly to talk through the birth experience/trauma. Once the adrenaline wore off last week everything hit me at once, how terrifying it all was, waking up and not being able to see my baby for over 12 hours. I want to understand more of what happened and why and if there was anything I/we missed that could have avoided this happening. The idea of going back to the hospital is also scary too though - I cry just thinking about going back there. But A reminds me that even though it was where something scary happened, it’s also where we brought our amazing son into the world.

[brunchbitch]

Quinn and I were discharged yesterday afternoon!! First night at home was 4th of July so there were a ton of fireworks which made it hard for any of us to get sleep. The level of tiredness right now is unreal.

[brunchbitch]

QUINN IS BEING DISCHARGED FROM THE NICU THIS MORNING WAHOOOOOOO

[brunchbitch]

Need to write a loooong update at some point but uh yeah things continued to not go according to plan lol and we both had some complications (I had to go under general anesthesia) so unfortunately I still haven’t met him yet or done skin to skin 😭 but luckily A has been able to spend some time in the NICU with him! As soon as I’m able to sit up in a wheelchair, I’ll be able to go visit him. We’re both doing well though medically. Ugh I just want to hold him!!!

[brunchbitch]

Finally!!!!!!

I’m so in love. He’s just perfect. And off the CPAP!!

[brunchbitch]

Need to write a loooong update at some point but uh yeah things continued to not go according to plan lol and we both had some complications (I had to go under general anesthesia) so unfortunately I still haven’t met him yet or done skin to skin 😭 but luckily A has been able to spend some time in the NICU with him! As soon as I’m able to sit up in a wheelchair, I’ll be able to go visit him. We’re both doing well though medically. Ugh I just want to hold him!!!

[brunchbitch]

Well… Squish is coming today!!!! In a few hours!!!!!!!

[brunchbitch]

High blood pressure (148/91) at centering group so they’re sending me over to OB ED to monitor Squish and do labs and keep taking blood pressure measurements. I think I’m just anxious!!! But glad they’ll be checking everything out to make sure it’s all okay.

[brunchbitch]

Everything turned out good, no concerns for preeclampsia besides the high BP so I’m home now, phew. They want me to come back in for a BP check tomorrow and as long as everything looks okay, we’ll keep the plan for the c section on Thursday.