#sunposting tag

[fictoromanticism]

So I just got a new f/o, but he’s obscure and the source material doesn’t really have him in a romantic relationship, so the only thing I have to go on is my headcanons. Do you have any tips for figuring out what a relationship would be like with your f/o? Thank you in advance!

this is a tough one, and i relate! the advice i’ve given before would be to seek out fanfic/fanart of your f/o as a way of expanding your perspective and gathering ideas for your own headcanons. if he’s not very popular, though, this can be hard to do. if you’re trying to figure out how your f/o might act in a relationship, without any examples to work from, i’d start with a few general questions and try building up from there. 

how does he express his feelings? is he honest, or more reserved?

is he experienced with relationships, or is this all new to him? how does he act in new situations? 

how does he act when he’s happy and comfortable, and what about you might make him feel that way?

is there anybody he sees as friends or family? how does he act around them? he might treat you similarly as a way of showing that he likes you, or, alternately, he might treat you differently as an indication that his feelings for you are special!

don’t be afraid to try different headcanons while you figure it out. experimenting is harmless and fun, and can give you an idea of what feels right for you and what doesn’t. i’d also look around for otp question memes and prompts and working through those. it’s okay if you don’t have all the answers right away! figuring it out is just part of the process of building a relationship.

i hope this helps!

- mod sun

[fictoromanticism]

I have an F/O who generally in his source material does not act any other way than angry or stoic, I’m having a hard time imagining him caring about me and how our relationship would work.

i completely understand! i have an f/o like that, too, and i was stumped for a long time on how to imagine him loving me. honestly, i think this is an area where you’ll need to take creative liberties with the character. don’t be afraid to make heavy use of headcanon, even if it means you’re just making stuff up. that’s ok! that’s how characters are developed. since i’ve been here before, here are some things i would think about to get started!

are there any people your f/o does like, or at least tolerates? do you have anything in common with those people? alternately, does your f/o really hate anyone? what makes you different from them that your f/o might appreciate?

how does your f/o show his thoughts and feelings? is he straightforward or reserved? honest or dishonest? imagine how he might show his feelings towards you in that way, or alternatively, how he might act completely opposite when he’s around you.

since you mentioned that your f/o is angry, maybe being around you is a relief from that anger. maybe he doesn’t even know what he’s like when he’s not angry, and discovering that is an experience for both of you. being in love can really change a person, and being close with someone can show different sides of their personality that might be totally unexpected.

also, if you’re comfortable looking at fanart and fanfiction, i highly recommend that, too. it doesn’t mean you have to take other peoples’ interpretations as gospel, but i find that seeing a character portrayed in different ways by lots of different people really helps me expand the way i think about them, rather than seeing them as restricted to their canon portrayal. just a tip!

i hope any of this helps you get the creative drive going! like i said, don’t be afraid to take liberties. the more you get comfortable with a character, the easier you’ll find it to develop them in new ways.

- mod sun

[fictoromanticism]

Is it wrong to have two f/o’s who are dating each other? I have a crush on Anakin and Padme from Star Wars but idk if that’s weird or not, but I really love them both

not at all! lots of self-shippers have poly ships; there’s nothing wrong or even unusual about it. the fact that the two of them are already in love just makes it sweeter, in my opinion. so go ahead and love both of them! they love you just as much as they love each other!

- mod sun

[fictoromanticism]

so uh. i have a dilemma. there's a guy at my workplace who reminds me a little bit of my f/o (who i've been really into for the past 2 years or so). like not too much but just enough for me to make the connection. and i don't REALLY have feelings for him but i always get the impulse to flirt with him a little, and i don't think it's really fair to do that to him. i haven't done anything too overtly flirty, but he hasn't really responded to me anyways. what should i do?

i really must recommend you don’t do this. there’s nothing wrong with casual flirting, but if you feel like doing it specifically because this person reminds you of somebody else… that’s kind of, well, weird. he’s a real person with feelings, not a stand-in for your f/o. especially if he hasn’t showed any interest in reciprocating the flirting, i must advise you not to keep this up. if your gut instinct says “this isn’t fair”, i think you should listen to it.

- mod sun

[fictoromanticism]

i had an f/o that I liked, but now I have a new f/o and i feel guilty about abandoning my 1st! any tips :< ( @selfshiptime )

hi! i wrote a resource post along similar lines that might address some of your concerns. since this was a while ago, here’s a link to it. i hope this helps!

@selfshiptime

- mod sun

[fictoromanticism]

this is so basic but hhhh so in canon my fo has a lot on his mind right now. i’m soooo stressed cuz everyone in the fandom knows the person who’s gonna help him is probably his female friend, aka an almost canon by now extremely popular ship. i’m thinking oh god what if they kiss or something!!!! please help and thank you

i feel you! sometimes it’s really stressful to be in an ongoing fandom and not know what’s going to happen next with your f/o. try not to fret too much! whatever happens is only fictional, and only one of infinite things that could happen. even if your f/o does get into a canon relationship, that doesn’t lock you out of being with him. try to think of canon as merely a “possible” story that could be told with those characters, instead of immutable reality. no matter what happens, your relationship with your f/o is as worthwhile and valuable as any other. good luck!

- mod sun

[fictoromanticism]

My f/o doesn't really have a canon personality, and the fandom makes him out to be dumb/perverted because of a small amount of his songs. It's really hard to deal with because nothing I write for him feels in character, and I know he's more than just a pervert, but I don't know what to do, since it's basically everywhere.

i understand, anon. it’s really uncomfortable to see people portraying your fave in a way that feels wrong to you. of course, since your f/o doesn’t have a set personality, you’re free to imagine him however you like! i think this is one of those things that comes with practice and habit. it may feel forced at first, but if you keep working on developing his character and pinning down what works for you and what doesn’t, it will eventually feel natural.

writing fanfic is a great way to do this! you don’t need to get it perfect at first—it’s about learning. with everything you write that feels “out of character”, ask yourself what about it feels wrong, and how you might tweak it next time. think of it as the process of “getting to know him.” it’s only a matter of time! hopefully, as your idea of him grows more solid, seeing other people get him wrong won’t bother you anymore.

- mod sun

[fictoromanticism]

hi, this is mod sun! i don’t know if we’ve ever stated this before, but i wanted to clarify for the record that we do not cover nsfw topics on this blog. mod moon and i are both adults, but plenty of younger people follow our blog, so we would prefer to keep it all appropriate for minors. thank you for reading!

- mod sun