#super personal shit

[t4tmanwhore]

at this point making friends makes  me kinda nervous and sad bc I’m just waiting for them to get tired of me and distance themselves from me and idk what is wrong with me and what I am doing wrong but id love to 

[homosfornapping]

Can't have a panic attack at work because it's storming 🙃 Can't have a panic attack at work because it's storming 🙃 Can't have a panic attack at work because it's storming 🙃

[maniacalmagician]

so my graduate mentor told me before class a bunch of really unprofessional shit like “you make me want to quit my job” and “I waste his time” and essentially “I should give up”. for being behind on an assignment ONCE... but refuses to ever listen to me about my mental health issues and has told me that in his country they “don’t believe in mental illness” and that it’s an excuse - even though it factors a great deal to my academic struggles and ties with my accommodations, and mind you I joined this program to help me with my academics instead of make me feel like shit, and in 2014 my mentor then was excellent and actually listened to me and acknowledged my shit and I got a 4.0 that year. Then he graduated and I was not in the program becuase of my new high GPA. Meanwhile I’m just barely passing my Vis 2 class. Yeah, i finally broke down, cried, and sent a complaint to my advisors... I don’t need to take that shit.. I get beat up enough for being mentally ill every fucking day of my life. I don’t need that to come from someone who is supposed to be helping me. anyway I can only imagine the shit storm that will come from this. idk pray for me or something? whatever, send me your anti-shit storm spells

[theawesomegilbird]

tbh

I sometimes don’t think that I’ll make it to August. PAX seems so far away and meeting up with peeps seems so pointless. Mostly, when I think about PAX, I’m excited and looking forward to it... not so much anymore. It might be fun, yeah. But I can’t shake the feeling of the squad hating me irl. I wouldn’t even blame them, honestly.

But that’s not even the biggest issue. I don’t think I’ll be around long enough anyway. Things are only getting worse.

[cambriakilgannon]

Please someone tell me what to do.

Should I try to talk to my ex or should I continue to wallow in self pity?

[cambriakilgannon]

HTM

Super personal and super emotional shit so fair warning.

I listened to Here to Mars for the millionth time and I can’t stop breaking into tears.  They just flow.  I couldn’t get you out of my mind.  The song would have been so fitting for us.  

“Hey stranger, been a long time since I’ve loved you or anything.”  Extremely fitting since we ended things, and I lost myself in the process.

“How the times have changed.”  You’re with her.  I’m with him. 

“Emotionless, and the words lose all their means.”  I kept every note you ever gave me.  Being heart broken now, I sometimes wonder if we were doomed from the start.  I read the lines, over and over, the I love you’s.  I want them back so badly.

“Goodbye. Lost and long forgotten.”  I assume since we stopped talking to each other that you have given up on me and no longer care.  This sounds petty and childish, but love hurts, and I’m still licking my wounds.

But then the song changes.  It’s almost pleading the listener to believe, “I fucked up, but I’m willing to give my everything.  I love you more than anything. You’re my everything from here to Mars.”

[theblackbulletss]

I’ve been feeling horrible lately and nothing seems to be working, so I’m going to do the one thing I hate doing and talk at myself. You can read, but for the love of god, DON’T reply. I am really bad at that kind of attention. 

For the past 7 years I’ve watched my father waste away because he had cancer from smoking and the chemo fucking ruined him. So obviously I’m really against smoking right now. And heavy drinking which I’m really tempted to do right now. 

And I’m losing people I actually care about because of it. And it’s all people who don’t know or care about my side of the story. 

On top of that I never really did much as a kid and a teenager so I’m making up for all of that as adult and going through the dumb, “Everyone fucking hates me” phrase. I’m 25, I should have been through that 10 years ago. 

It’s bullshit because I know there’s at least 5 people who don’t hate me and only two of them are on the internet. 

What I’m getting at is that I need a friend who’s around my age and who’ll treat me like a fucking adult because no one does. 

[jennifercheque]

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