#super whiny

[sambethe]

So strep it is. :( At least there are antibiotics. Sadly, I still have to work this afternoon as there is a case-related interview that I am required to attend and I can't reschedule. Going to nap until then. Then douse myself in purell for my poor co-workers.

[zakubabbles]

Also, I hate when people get mad at me for not agreeing with them in believing that I'm "very good."

I'm not.

I know I'm not.

And it's not because I'm a negative person with low self-esteem. It's because I know my own strengths and limitations.

I'm not being pessimistic.

I'm being realistic.

If I say I can't do something it's because I know I can't do that at the moment because I do not have the knowledge and/or skills. I can't magically do anything and everything just because I start believing in myself more. Self confidence can only take you so far.

---

Anyway, when I say I'm not that good of an artist it's because I'm comparing myself to super skilled professionals which is the level I would like to be at.

But against a novice middle schooler? Yeah, I guess I am "good."

[dmollyc]

Oooooowwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!

And a fever. 😷

[strawberri]

How do some people have like nice voices :(

[cryptbirth]

I’m so tired of having depression. I was going to type out this long thing about it but I just can’t be bothered. I’m just tired and lonely and always on the verge of crying and it’s infuriating since all I do it bottle it up and ignore it. Even if I did feel like I had someone to talk to I wouldn’t know where to begin. 

I feel so pathetic.

[loveisinthebones]

Productivity

I was so productive yesterday. Today? All of that motivation is gone. I really need it to come back. This month is going to be crazy. It is probably the most important month of my life (so far). My comprehensive exams are at the end of March. I have to pass them to remain in the program and they are unofficially used to judge our funding for next year. I have to really start investigating my 20 page term paper, which is a biographical essay on a female archaeologist. I need to gather signatures from my committee members. I may need to actually start trying to come up with an actual thesis idea. As opposed to just a very general theme of investigation. Plus I have other papers due and Osteology quizzes and classes to teach. And softball games/practices. And I'm trying to fight the urge to get a cat. Because I have a cat. Just in Michigan. The struggle, my friends, is real. Oh, and the worst part? Cant really complain exactly because I signed up for this and I'm incredibly lucky/thankful that I have the opportunities I've been afforded. And all of my friends down here are going through the exact same pressures. Sigh.

On the super positive side: I finally got all the boxes out of my fucking apartment yesterday. They've only been accumulating since August. Haha.

[thereisnosp00n]

Finally home.

Now, if you'll please excuse me, I'm just going to lay here eating saltines and drinking ginger ale whilst listening to podcasts until I pass out.

Pleasedon'tthrowup.

[hugallthecats]

anyways new updates, in two weeks im gonna start over and actually try in my classes (hhahahahah i say that at the beginning of every semester and my focus still slowly diminishes)  like the only things i am going to focus on are class and utc. thats it. and the occasional going to shows/parties.  im gonna celebrate my bday and get drunk the saturday before school starts and then hopefully move forward with a new semester. im cutting out a few people who weaseled their way in and fucked shit up, like i need more and new people in my lifeeeeeee.  i feel like i say this a lot but maybe if i force myself to think about class more especially at the start of a semester i can stay away from the negative bad people that bring me down.  i really wish things in the past could be the same like i miss some things from a few months ago, there wasnt nearly as much drama and complicated things and also that was a time when people who i hung out with hadnt had moved away but whatever thats life.  im just sounding really whiny now.