Feel free to ignore this if it's too invasive but how did you know you were bisexual? I'm questioning right now and every time I consider identifying with the label I get scared that I'm not ~really~ bisexual and I'm just pretending I'm attracted to women to feel cool or special.
well, my own experience was first when i was about 13/14 and i met a girl i really liked, and we became very close and we had been joking about ‘pretending’ to be a couple and eventually i was like oh shit... i wanna date you for real... i guess i’m bi? i identified as pansexual for a little while, but ended up coming back to bi as a term that better described my identity.
but of course, that’s not the universal experience. i can’t decide anyone’s sexuality for them, but i will say that i think while some straight people definitely question their sexuality, most people generally who constantly feel they may be attracted to the same gender and worry that they’re faking it to seem special typically aren’t straight. and another thing, in my experience, is that wanting to be lgbt+ generally is a symptom of being lgbt+.
internalized shame is really common and can be hard to combat, especially when it comes to being attracted to the same gender. i think it’s particularly tough for bisexual people, because a lot of societal forces seem obsessed with telling bi people they’re either secretly gay or secretly straight. it can be a lot to overcome, but i would recommend if possible finding more resources and community with other bi people and just spending time with bi folks. i’ve found being around other bi people a great resource for normalizing those feelings and combatting internalized shame. and regardless of what conclusion you end up coming out of everything with in terms of your sexuality, i think learning more about oneself is always a positive outcome.
