Baby #2 Breastfeeding Story
In 2017 we were blessed with an amazing addition to our family, another beautiful baby boy. My intent here is talk about our breastfeeding journey but I first have to start with how he made his grand entrance into the world. It’s a good story…
We went to bed early the night of his projected due date. I awoke at 4:30 am with contractions and movements. I spent some time taking a shower, getting dressed and ready to head to the hospital. I heard it said over and over “for a natural childbirth it is important to labor at home as long as possible to reduce the chances of medical interventions.” So, I tried to keep telling myself that.
But these contractions grew stronger and stronger. They were coming every 2 minutes for a strong-intense 30 seconds each. At 5:50 am we left for the hospital. Grandma followed us in her car. Along the way contractions were picking up pace. Once we arrived at the hospital, I had two big contractions. We made it to the elevators and up to level 2 triage to check-in. Before my husband could finish checking us in, I said “water!” and baby #2 decided to make his grand entrance. My water broke and out came his head. He was born in the waiting area. Grandma caught him as he came out. I was standing up and still wearing pants. We got quite a bit if attention as a swarm of nurses assisted. But by then, the hard work was already done.
So, with baby #2 my breastfeeding goals had changed. New Goal: I plan to breastfeed for as little, or as long, as it is mutually beneficial for both me and baby. I told myself… Formula is not the devil. If this doesn’t work out it is not the end of the world and it will not make me any less close to my child.
But I had also learned a lot since baby #1 and had a lot of tools at my disposal. I thought for sure this time would be easier. I had even read about a woman with a similar 1st baby experience who was so proactive with baby #2 that she had an oversupply of milk which brought on a whole other set of issues (baby still wasn’t getting hind milk, only foremilk which caused less weight gain and more colic and gas). Secretly, I wished for that problem. To have so much milk this go around that we had to work on new problems like that. I planned to power pump at the beginning and get my supply up. I was going to keep that baby on the boob for nursing-on-demand. He was going to set the pace for tons more milk this time. I planned to attend breastfeeding support groups to get his weekly weigh-ins so we didn’t get behind in gains. I read up on all my Ina May books and had read cover to cover my copy of Mother Food: A Breastfeeding Diet Guide with Lactogenic Foods and Herbs. And the first few weeks went great. Baby was nursing well and gaining weight but around week 8 his gains became less and less and he started to fuss more and more.
I was suddenly flooded with doubt about our journey and my supply. How could this be? I did everything I was supposed to this time. And although I told myself from the get-go that I wouldn’t be upset if our journey was a short one, I was so disappointed.
I researched and read and got obsessive, like most moms do. I started to read about low storage capacity vs low supply. No matter if I did a weighted feed or I pumped and then bottle fed I could not get more than 3-4 oz total between both sides and that didn’t matter if it was first thing in the morning when your supply I supposed to be higher or late at night when supplies tend to dip. The lactation consultant I was working with said not to worry and it just means as baby gets older and some women are able to drop feedings, I will most likely have to keep up those frequent feeding to keep up the best supply I could. I wanted to read on success stories on women who worked pass this and again I found myself asking the question, “How do we fix this?” I wanted a concrete answer. I wanted a magic pill or a superfood that would suddenly increase the amount of milk ducts my body had.
But no such luck. I started to supplement with formula which allowed my husband to bottle feed more often which was great for their bonding. But deep down inside I was terrified that he would soon prefer the bottle to me and refuse the breast just like my first son.
But I’m happy to tell you that didn’t happen! I made a point to feed-on-demand as much as I possible could. I kept a tight pumping schedule when I returned to work 9 am, 12 pm, and 3 pm for 30 minutes each (sometimes power pumping, sometimes just letting it run). I was very lucky to have a private office and continue to work while I pumped. At night before I would put my baby to bed, I would feed him a bottle first and this time chase with a boob. He often nursed for food and for comfort and fell asleep in my arms. Around 11 or 12 months in I decided to stop pumping at work. My supply was starting to get really low (maybe an ounce each session combining sides) and although I had the privacy of an office it still was hard working around being chained to my desk. I hated washing all the pump parts, carrying the lunch pail back and forth etc. So, I stopped pumping but continued to nurse baby after work, before bed and first thing in the morning.
There was such a relief and a weight lifted off my shoulders when I stopped pumping. Seeing the very little amount of milk I was producing after all the effort and isolation involved was too much. Especially when my Pinterest feeds were flooded with pictures of Medela bottles full of 6-8 oz of milk with titles like “Power Pumping to up your Supply…Best lactation cookie recipes… top 10 foods to increase your supply”.
My baby, now toddler, is 22 months old and his still loves his momma milk. He pats me on the upper chest and says “momma!” We nurse a couple times a day, I think it’s mostly for comfort as I can’t image there is much milk, but it’s still working for us. I’m still under the philosophy that we will continue to do this until one or both of us decides to stop.
I want to share my breastfeeding stories in hopes to encourages others. Whether that be to give another mom peace with her decision to stop breastfeeding because it was not or no longer working (no matter the reason) and to let her know it is OK… “You did good Momma” and to stop being so hard on yourself or maybe this story will encourage a mother who thinks it has to be all or nothing. I’m here today to tell you that you can do both. You can have a strong breastfeeding relationship with your child while still supplementing with formula.