#supporting abusers

[furiousgoldfish]

people will go "I'm uncomfortable with you having any kind of bad reaction to abuse from this person, I need you to shut up and pretend you're okay about it, however I am very comfortable supporting your abuser and telling you how much compassion and admiration I think they deserve"

[furiousgoldfish]

If you get attacked by narcissists for writing about your experiences with narcissistic abuse, and you start doubting yourself and feeling guilty and unsure in whether you're right to write about your own experiences, remember that you would have never, ever in your life written that content, had you not been severely and continually abused by narcissists. None of the content about the narcissistic abuse would ever exist, if there was not severe and devastating narcissistic abuse to create the need for it to exist. And people attacking you know this, they understand that if you weren't badly abused by your narcissistic parents/partner/sibling/peer/boss/abuser, you would have never written any of it. They know that you are not the source of the content, the narcissistic abuse is.

Anyone who has a problem with content about narcissistic abuse, should have a problem with the narcissists who abuse. The cause of all are the narcissistic abusers. Any non-abusive person would immediately have a problem with a narcissist who committed the crimes against you, and not you for writing about it, for speaking out your narrative, for warning others to recognize and stand against it.

There's a pattern with narcissists only ever attacking victims for speaking out, and never the narcissistic abusers who originally cause victim to have a reason to speak out. It's always the victims who need to shut up and minimize their experiences and feel guilty for ever daring to feel that crimes against them matter more than the reputation of their abusers. And of course, the narcissists will add that “they're a victim too“, but it will only ever come up as a neat little way to declare that they, actually, have the authority to speak over you, in case you doubted it. 'I'm a victim, but I stand with your abusers, and you should too, otherwise you're causing damage to the entire world.'

Who benefits from this? Your abusers do. Other narcissists who are out there looking for victims do. Those who wish for the narcissistic abuse to continue and be un-named, they would absolutely love it if you were silenced back into non-existence and never said a word about who hurt you again. They'd be even happier if your words can be controlled by them, if they get to say how you're allowed to name it, how you're allowed to talk about it. Absolute control over your narrative, and once you fold and allow them to control your language, soon they will control your narrative too. Your narcissistic abusers already did this to you once. They already made you feel like you're the worst villain in the world if you dare to name the abuse. Narcissists are only too happy to do it all over again, to push you into that corner of self loathing, self doubt, guilt and shame, only to keep their reputation far from the truth.