Going sober can be so hard in the beginning. Most of us feel a freezing shame when we decide that we need to stop drinking. We are afraid that we won’t be able to learn to live alcohol-free. Starting out sober is like learning any life skill. We are afraid that we will slip. That we won’t be able to gain traction.Why, oh why do we feel shame if we are a beginner? Why, oh why do we self-loathe if we make a mistake? Babies learning to walk don’t feel shame. They do feel some bumps and bruises.
Very rarely are the labels true. Many destructive labels occur when we are children with no skills to overcome. We’re adults now. So, kick those labels to the curb along with the booze. This is not one-and-done. I found that when I went sober, at first, it got worse before it got better. A frightening vacuum, void sets in. Even though the labels aren’t true, then who am I? Without the booze, who am I? Booze and untruths are so painful but comfortable. Predictable. Accessible. Accepted by society, actually, encouraged by society. Truth will set you free after some time in misery. How long is up to each of us.
Try a change in perspective.
Approaching new things with the curiosity and openness of a child helps me in my sober journey. Sobriety for me is a process and not a destination.
Laughter kills the fear.