BUZZING TREE SAYS JESUS IS COMING FOR YOU
ONE DAY SOME TREE IN MEXICO STARTS MAKING BEE NOISES. SOUNDS REALLY FUCKING SUSPICIOUS RIGHT? COULD IT BE BECAUSE THERE ARE BEES IN THE TREE? WRONG. IT’S BECAUSE THE TREE HAS IMPORTANT NEWS FOR THE LOCAL PEOPLE.
SOME GIRL STARTS SAYING THAT THE TREE IS TALKING TO HER. MOST PEOPLE TELL HER THAT SHE’S CRAZY AND TELL HER TO FUCK RIGHT OFF, BUT SOME LISTEN. SHE TELLS THEM THAT THE TREE SAYS A BUNCH OF CHRISTIAN MISSIONARIES ARE COMING TO BAPTISE EVERYONE.
GENERALLY SPEAKING PEOPLE DON’T LIKE SOME FUCKERS SAILING OVER AND FORCING THEIR CULTURE AND RELIGION ON THEM, SO THOSE WHO LISTENED TO THE GIRL AND HER TALKING TREE FUCKERY GO AWAY AND HIDE IN HOLES IN THE GROUND.
THE SUREM PEOPLE ARE ALSO HELLA FUCKING SHORT. BASICALLY THEY BECAME HOBBITS. THIS IS GENERALLY CONSIDERED A GOOD THING, AND THEY ALSO HELP OUT LOST TRAVELLERS AND SUCH.