#surveycorpscommander

[scoutingheichou]

SurveyCorpsCommander: HO HO HO! MERRY HANUK...oh wait sorry...MERRY CHRISTMAS!

ScoutingHeichou: You're too fucking skinny, you shit assedcommander.

SurveyCorpsCommander: OHOHOH! CAPTAIN LEVI, HAVE YOU BEEN GOOD THIS YEAR....playalongdammit!

ScoutingHeichou: That's how I know you're a hacked piece of shit! you're suppose to say that bullshyt crap to kids! thehellimmaplayalongtothisshit

SurveyCorpsCommander: HO HO HO! LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE IS EXCITED! DON'T WORRY CAPTAIN, I BROUGHT SOMETHING FOR YOU THIS KWANZ-I mean CHRISTMAS! goddammityoulittlebastard

ScoutingHeichou: Yes... you are a ho. I know that. Whatever you got there is probably satanic as shit. idontgiveacrapatallrealchoiceofnoregrets

SurveyCorpsCommander: HERE! A YEARS SUPPLY OF WINDEX! JUST WHAT YOU WANTED fuckyouyoulittleshitassmidgetthisiswhatyougetfortryingtoruinchristmas

ScoutingHeichou: Fuck you that's an off brand----the bootleg- worst kinds, you fucking poser.

youcanfuckyourselfcuziamunfuckableandthisiswhynoonelikesyou

SurveyCorpsCommander: ALRIGHT, YOUNGSTER! THERE'S YOUR GIFT! MEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY WOOKIE LIFE DA-I MEAN CHRISTMAS! thisonlyhappenedbecauseyoucrushedagirlsbeliefinsantaclausyoushiteateratleastimactuallytryingtomotivatetheteamtodosomethingthatisntcleaning

ScoutingHeichou: Go back to the trash you came from and STAY there. onlytelltruthandgivepraticallessonsyoubimbofuckwhatdoyouactuallydoagain

SurveyCorpsCommander: HO HO HO! DON'T WORRY EVERYONE! I BROUGHT GIFTS FOR EVERYONE, INCLUDING YOU, MS. ISABEL! ohidontknowionlyleadthisentirefuckingsectionofthemilitaryandambyfarthegreateststrategistmeanwhileallyoudoiscleanthebaseandpokethingswithswordseveryonceinawhile

ScoutingHeichou: You only bring cheap assed crap 'cause the lack of finances, you lying fuck. youhavetoomuchtimetobearedtargetposerandatleasticleanmyshitupunlikeyoupig

[scoutingheichou]

The issues with Santa when @surveycorpscommander and I were kids lmfao!

[scoutingheichou]

Cherry, blueberry, and tangerine. Very odd fruit salad.

SEND ME A FRUIT ( @surveycorpscommander )

Cherry - I love you.

Blueberry - You’re amazing.

Tangerine - We have a lot in common.

BRUH BRO BRO BESTIE BRUH-BRO!

I CONCUR WITH ALL THESE THINGS WITH YOU TOOOOOO!!!! THANKS FOR STICKING AROUND MAH ANGRY ASS FOR SO LONG! 

It’s certainly been part of my pile of good things for sure!

[scoutingheichou]

(Send me a very scandalous rumor about my muse to see how they would react.) So, Levi. Care to explain these rumors I hear circulating about you infiltrating the Military Police HQ solely to defecate in Nile's sandwich?

***** ( surveycorpscommander )

“I would think it’d be YOU to do that and not me. I may do shit jokes-doesn’t mean I do it in practice. Aside from that... That was Hanji’s idea to replace the meat with mud. Nile exaggerated.”

[scoutingheichou]

I don't try. I can't try.

Roora at 2:44 am of 8/22/2015 on skype with surveycorpscommander

[scoutingheichou]

‘300′ movie commentary

[12:04:20 AM] Roora//Aural: you fought well today.... as a woman [12:04:26 AM] Roora//Aural: you did too! [12:04:27 AM] Roora//Aural: lmfao [12:04:46 AM] Roora//Aural: maybe if i am injured you'll be able to keep up with me [12:04:47 AM] Roora//Aural: lmfao [12:04:48 AM] Roora//Aural: too much [12:05:08 AM] SurveyCorpsCommander: Ahahahahaha [12:05:46 AM] Roora//Aural: 104 squad [12:05:49 AM] Roora//Aural: right there talking lol [12:06:44 AM] SurveyCorpsCommander: Pretty much [12:06:53 AM] SurveyCorpsCommander: Spartans = 104 and Survey Corps [12:07:03 AM] SurveyCorpsCommander: Athenians = shitty military police

[scoutingheichou]

[text] So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one’s for Team USA.

texts from last night! meme ( surveycorpscommander )

[text] ...  of course it’s ‘for Team USA’ for you.

[scoutingheichou]

[ text ]: I'm drunk on lemonade.

Random texts.  ( surveycorpscommander )

[Text:] That is about the ONLY thing you can get drunk on.