My heart goes crazy, just thinking of being shoved against the lockers and connecting with you. It doesn’t matter if it proves to be impossible, I strive to be by your side, even though you never bat an eye at me outside of those dreams.
They occur every now and then, especially in my wildest fantasies. I imagine the “what ifs” as though I could make it come true, it doesn’t matter if you don’t believe in love at first sight.
All that matters to me now? I’m not sure, I think its almost impossible to answer. Because whenever I get close enough to see through the other side of you. . .
All I see is a red. The sign of anger, hatred, and I worry what lies ahead; against the fate that will befall us all. I believe that’s why even when I’m feeling the most comfortable around you to confess my feelings, it’s always someone else in the way.
But I still want to see, how you feel about me. I need closure, but at the same time I want someone else to take control of my thoughts and feelings. I still want to find hope, that maybe one day I’ll be free.
What the heck am I saying? What are these dangerous thoughts I’m thinking of?
The pain is unbearable, and I’m beginning to feel less, like myself as time goes on.
Tell me if you feel the same.
I want you to be there for me as much as possible, but I don’t want you to get hurt.
Just let me know how much you LOVE me.
Because I have a feeling that I’m starting to cave into the darker areas of my inner demons.
The light is blinding, and I wonder if it’s just me. Or am I going blind to their orders?
