#svemayara

[karlbourbon]

i identify with this dog today

[karlbourbon]

there’s this puppy at work and his name is bones and i’m in love

[karlbourbon]

Everything hurts. There’s a chill running through Jim’s body, from the tip of his nose to the ends of his toes. He has a cough that’s racks his entire frame and makes his brain feel like it’s rattling around his big skull.

In short, he feels like shit.

He’s laying on top of the covers on his too-small dorm bed (because everything aches and he can’t get his arms to work right), facing the wrong way with his head hanging off. It’s really, really not helping, in fact it’s probably making everything at least ten times worse, but Jim can hear the sounds of Bones just getting home and he loves nothing more than to complain and get under the doctor’s skin.

“I’m dying, Bones!” Jim calls out, except his nose is stuffed up and he feels gunk in the back of his throat from being upside down so what actually comes out is more like, “dyig ‘ownz.”

Bones, used to Jim’s theatrics, is at least nice enough to spare him a glance and throw him a bottle of cough medicine he seems to have pulled out of thin air before continuing to strip out of his uniform.

Jim takes a swig, mildly miffed that Bones hasn’t even said anything about his ability to catch a cold because he’s a doctor, dammit--Jim has a working theory that Bones gets off on berating others (read: Jim) about proper health procedures.

But the next thing Jim knows is Bones is manhandling him into laying properly on the bed, removing his shoes and uniform, and dumping the world’s reserve of blankets on top of him. Jim tries to ask what the hell is going on but under the blankets it comes out a muffled mess, and Bones decides to take a page out of Jim’s bein’ a smartass book and replies with, “What was that? Can’t hear you.” Jim just sighs as best he can with his stuffy nose and let’s it happen.

Bones moves Jim’s limbs and the blankets, wrapping him up expertly into a cuddly burrito, before climbing into bed behind him and arranging the rest of the blankets as a nest around them. It’s a tight fit in the tiny bed that’s hardly big enough for one grown man, but they make it work like they always do.

Despite seeming like he was just brushing Jim off when he threw the bottle of medicine, Bones wraps his arms around burrito!Jim and hooks his chin over his shoulder. “Just relax, darlin’. You’ll be better in no time,” he grumbles softly.

Jim tips his head back, rubbing his cheek against Bones’, comforted by the slight rub of stubble and the smell of cologne that still lingers on Bones’ skin. “Read to me?” he asks, milking his cold for all it’s worth.

Bones huffs, “Infant,” but Jim can hear the smile in his voice as well as feel the curve form against his cheek.

A PADD is produced from the bedside table, an old classic pulled up, and Bones clears his throat and begins to indulge. “The year 1866 was signalised by a remarkable incident...”

And if cuddles and story time are all Jim really needs to start feeling better, well, doctors really do know best.

[karlbourbon]

karlbourbon >> rgersxbarnes

[karlbourbon]

It was an impromptu trip; a spontaneous suggestion by Jim when Leonard discovered he would be having Joanna for the day. And Leonard, not really having a better plan to entertain his 7-year-old, agreed. Which was how he found himself spending the day at the zoo trailing along behind two children--Jo and Jim.

A fond smile flit across Leonard’s face every time they came to a new exhibit. Jo wasn’t like a lot of the kids surrounding them who just wanted to see the animals in action before losing interest and running ahead to the next display. She studied the animals intently, read the information plaques, and even asked intelligent questions.

Jim kept up a running commentary of interesting facts about each type of animal they saw. Leonard wondered how his brain hadn't exploded yet--he could almost picture sparks and smoke streaming out of Jim’s ears--overloaded by all the knowledge he seemed to an endless supply of.

**

They had made their way through most of the exhibits and had decided to stop for a quick lunch break. All the while Jim and Leonard asked Joanna questions about the animals they had seen, upholding an educational side to the fun outing.

“So Jo,” Jim started as they began to gather up their trash, “what’s been your favorite animal to see so far?”

Jo was thoughtful for a moment before answering, “The lemurs!”

“Why’s that kiddo?” Leonard asked.

“They jumped really far through the trees!” She frowned. “At first I was scared they were going to fall, but then Uncle Jim told me that they use their tails to help with their balance,” she said, looking over at Jim.

“That’s right,” he said, ruffling her hair and making her giggle.

“Where to next, Jo-Jo?” Leonard asked once they had thrown their trash in a garbage bin.

Her eyes lit up and she could hardly contain her excitement as penguins burst out of her mouth in a rush.

Leonard chuckled. “Penguins it is.”

“Onward to Penguin island!” Jim proclaimed in a poor imitation of an English accent, one hand pointing forward in the direction they would be headed and the other commandeered by Jo to pull him along.

**

Penguins were currently Joanna’s favorite animal, so when they got to the penguin exhibit Leonard allowed her to wander around on her own, keeping her in his eyesight at all times but otherwise letting her go freely. Jim stayed by his side as they stood quietly, watching the penguins splash around in the water.

Jim’s hand found it’s way into Leonard’s, their fingers tangling together. Four penguins grouped up into a diamond shape and shot off across the surface of the water.

“Penguins mate for life y’know,” Jim said nonchalantly.

Leonard looked away from watching his daughter at the other end of the exhibit to look at Jim. He had a fond smile on his as he watched two penguins dive into a pool the same brilliant shade of blue as his eyes. There wasn’t a sudden realization, no Big Bang flash, just the slow-burning flames he felt in his chest every time he looked at Jim. Leonard's eyes flicked back to the penguins. There were two huddled together on the corner of the fake snowbank, hiding from the splashing of the others. 'For life' sounded pretty good. “Be my penguin?”

[karlbourbon]

gizoogle christmas crack

your wish is my command (normal version first, shall we?)

jim was happy. he couldn’t remember the last time his heart had felt so light. everything had been going his way lately and he felt like the luckiest man in the world; he was a bird soaring through fluffy white clouds against a bright azure sky—free. things had been going even better with bones; jim had decided to do a cliche proposal on christmas—only hours away. which was how he found himself with a ring in his pocket and a pie from the bakery down the street in his hand on his way back to their apartment.

eager to get home, jim failed to use basic common sense—he forgot to look both ways before crossing the street. there wasn’t even a warning; though, if he hadn’t been wearing fluffy earmuffs there would have been. there was a jingling of bells, and the next thing jim knew, he had been mowed down in the middle of the snow covered street only yards away from his and bones’ front door.

the commotion of the incident was loud. loud enough to get bones’ attention, whose instincts always told him to run towards the chaos to try to help people in need. which was exactly what he did, after calling an ambulance once he saw someone sprawled in the street. he raced outside, shoes barely on his feet, laces flapping freely, and threw himself down on his knees next to the man in the street.

 and then bones realized it was jim.

 “jim!” he cried out, shaking his shoulder in an attempt to get a response. when he got none, he tried to turn jim on his side so he wasn’t at least face down in the freezing snow. but doing that revealed he had landed with his face in a banana cream pie. the sounds of the ambulance wailing pierced the air as bones wiped the pie from jim’s face.

everything became a blur for bones as the ambulance arrived to take jim away. he explained what had happened, climbed in the truck after jim, and that’s how he found himself sitting at jim’s bedside in the hospital in the wee hours of christmas morning.

 a moan startled bones from his light doze. jim was finally coming around—he was going to be just fine.

 “‘ones?” he groaned.

 “i’m right here, jim,” bones said, taking jim’s hand in his own.

 “what happened?”

 “well,” bones began uneasily, “they found hoofprints all over the place. it looks like you got run over by a reindeer.”

 “that’s awesome,” jim said, managing to form an exhausted looking smile.

 “you would think that.” bones chuckled softly and leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to jim’s forehead. “get some rest now, darlin’”

 and jim’s eyes drooped closed.

 **

 and that was how they spent their christmas morning in the hospital.

 over a crappy cafeteria food breakfast, jim managed to remember his plan to propose. the ring was still in his pocket and he thanked the stars that he still managed to be that lucky as he pulled out the small,velvet box and set it on bones’ tray.

 “this isn’t exactly how i pictured this going,” jim started, “but-”

 “yes.”

 “you didn’t even let me finish-”

 “yes,” bones interrupted again.

 “-i had a whole speech-”

“yes,” he said again. and this time jim couldn’t protest anymore because his lips were suddenly occupied.

———

and now time for shit to get cray-cray

jim was horny. his schmoooove ass couldn’t remember tha last time his thugged-out ass had felt so light. every last muthafuckin thang had been goin his way lately n’ he felt like tha luckiest playa up in tha ghetto; da thug was a funky-ass bird soarin all up in fluffy white cloudz against a funky-ass bright azure sky-free. thangs had been goin even betta wit bones; jim had decided ta do a cold-ass lil cliche proposal on christmas-only minutes away. which was how tha fuck he found his dirty ass wit a rang up in his thugged-out lil’ pocket n’ a pie from tha bakery down tha street up in his hand on his way back ta they crib.

eager ta git home, jim failed ta use basic common sense-he forgot ta look both ways before crossin tha street. there wasn’t even a warning; though, if dat schmoooove muthafucka hadn’t been bustin fluffy earmuffs there would have been. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch. there was a jinglin of bells, n’ tha next thang jim knew, dat schmoooove muthafucka had been mowed down up in tha middle of tha snow covered street only yardz away from his thugged-out n’ bones’ front door.

the commotion of tha incident was loud. Y’all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! bangin enough ta git bones’ attention, whose instincts always holla’d at his ass ta run towardz tha chaos ta try ta help playas up in need. Y’all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! which was exactly what tha fuck da ruffneck did, afta callin a ambulizzle once da perved-out muthafucka saw one of mah thugs sprawled up in tha street. he raced outside, Nikes barely on his wild lil’ feet, laces flappin freely, n’ threw his dirty ass down on his knees next ta tha playa up in tha street.

 n’ then bones realized dat shiznit was jim.

 ”jim!” his schmoooove ass cried out, bobbin his shoulder up in a attempt ta git a response. when he gots none, tha pimpin’ muthafucka tried ta turn jim on his side so da thug wasn’t at least grill down up in tha freezin snow. but bustin dat revealed dat schmoooove muthafucka had landed wit his wild lil’ grill up in a funky-ass banana cream pie. tha soundz of tha ambulizzle beatboxin pierced tha air as bones wiped tha pie from jim’s face.

everythang became a funky-ass blur fo’ bones as tha ambulizzle arrived ta take jim away. he explained what tha fuck had happened, climbed up in tha truck afta jim, n’ that’s how tha fuck he found his dirty ass chillin at jim’s bedside up in tha hospitizzle up in tha wee minutez of christmas morning.

 a moan startled bones from his fuckin light doze. jim was finally comin around-he was goin ta be just fine.

 ”‘ones?” he groaned.

 ”i’m right here, jim,” bones holla’d, takin jim’s hand up in his own.

 ”what happened?”

 ”well,” bones fuckin started uneasily, “they found hoofprints all over tha place. it be lookin like you gots run over by a reindeer.”

 ”that’s phat,” jim holla’d, managin ta form a exhausted lookin smile.

 ”you would be thinkin dis shit.” bones chuckled softly n’ leaned forward ta press a gentle lick ta jim’s forehead. Y’all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! “get some rest now, darlin’”

 n’ jim’s eyes drooped closed.

 **

 n’ dat was how tha fuck they dropped they christmas mornin up in tha hospitizzle.

 over a cold-ass lil crappy cafeteria chicken breakfast, jim managed ta remember his thugged-out lil’ plan ta propose. tha rang was still up in his thugged-out lil’ pocket n’ tha pimpin’ muthafucka gave props ta tha stars dat da perved-out muthafucka still managed ta be dat dirty as he pulled up tha small,velvet box n’ set it on bones’ tray.

 ”this aint exactly how tha fuck i pictured dis going,” jim started, “but-“

 ”yes.”

 ”you didn’t even let me finish-“

 ”yes,” bones interrupted again.

 ”-i had a whole speech-“

"yes," da perved-out muthafucka holla’d again. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch. n’ dis time jim couldn’t protest no mo’ cuz his fuckin lips was suddenly occupied.

[karlbourbon]

ok but i bet jim has one of those christmas sweaters with tiny lights that light up

and then one of the lights goes out and while trying to fix it the whole thing bursts into flames. death by sweater: holiday edition

[karlbourbon]

“C’mon, Bones! Is that all you got?” Jim hollers. He peeks around the tree he’s currently hiding behind and darts behind another as soon as he sees Leo’s dark brown mop of hair appear over the top of his snowbank fort.

His cheeks are so cold they feel like they’re on fire, and he can’t feel his toes or his nose, but Leo has to admit he’s having fun. It isn’t every day that he gets to throw things at Jim. Even though he hasn’t actually managed to hit him. Yet. It’s cathartic in its own way.

The taunts are getting a little old, however.

Leo picks up a perfectly round snowball from the pile at his frost encrusted boots. He lets out a steady breath, watching the visible puff swirl and disappear into the air; Jo’s voice in the back of his head gleefully saying, “Look, Daddy, I’ma dragon!”

Distracted with thoughts of his daughter, Leo looks up over the snowbank just in time to see Jim jump out from behind his tree. He’s out in the open and moving closer to Leo. It’s finally a real chance to hit him. Joanna’s spirit beside him, he pulls back his arm and lets the snowball fly.

And miraculously hits Jim square in the chest.

Leo feels a moment of triumph watching Jim dramatically fall backward into the fluffy snow--revenge for all the times earlier that day when Jim pelted him unrelentingly with hard-packed snowballs--followed by a moment of panic as Jim continues to lay there; he might have hit his head on a buried rock and knocked himself out. With Jim’s luck, it isn’t an unreasonable fear.

Leo vaults over his fort and trudges through the deep snow as fast as he can to Jim’s side. His heart stutters in his chest upon seeing Jim close-up and spread-eagle in the snow. Bright golden hair and flushed pink cheeks against blinding white.

Leo drops to his knees beside Jim’s head, tentatively checking for blood. What he doesn’t see is Jim moving his arm ever so slightly to grab a handful of snow. So he also doesn’t see it coming when Jim pulls him down by the front of his jacket and smashes the snow down the back of his neck with the other.

Leo howls, the sudden cold sending shivers dancing down his spine and chilling him straight to his already frozen feet. Laughter paralyzes Jim; he rolls around on his back with his arms wrapped around his middle as wave after wave of giggles hits him.

And bless Jim for being so oblivious, he doesn’t even notice Leo looks about ready to murder him until it’s too late. He tries to get away and leap for freedom, but Leo is right behind him, tackling him to the ground. They grapple, rolling around like lions, each trying to be the one who pins the other.

Leo finally prevails, only because Jim can’t stop laughing. He sits back on Jim’s upper thighs, using his weight to restrain him from struggling further, and folds his arms across his chest.

“You’re an asshole,” Leo grumps. He scowls and Jim has the audacity to smile.

Jim leans up, able to do so since only his lower body is truly the only thing immobilized, and kisses Leo on the nose, hoping to melt anger out of his eyebrows. And it works, if only for a few seconds. “You love me,” he says.

And even in that moment, freezing and wet, Leo does. With every ounce of his existence, God help him, he does.