Essential Avengers: Avengers West Coast #88: The Second COLD WAR
November, 1992
The Ultimate COLD WAR!
That sounds like it would have been a mini-series in the Ultimate Universe and yet it wasn't. It is, in fact, just words on the cover of a 1992 Avengers crossover with Wolverine.
Last time in previous issue: An All-New All-Different Russian Fantastic Four capture a Distant Early Warning station in Canada as part of a plot to cause a second Cold War. Wolverine happens to be vacationing nearby so they beat him up and capture him. The government secretly sends US Agent to investigate why the station went dark and Wonder Man and Scarlet Witch secretly stalk him. US Agent winds up thrown in an inlet but is rescued by his stalkers. And the three Avengers wind up in the right place at the right time when Wolverine needs help with the "borscht-belt Fantastic Four" as he puts it.
Oh, and when I say they're going to start a second Cold War, it's not what it sounds like. You might think they're planning on starting another state of conflict between two nations that is carried out through means other than direct military action. But no.
The Bogatyri are going to freeze North America and just call that a Cold War.
It's wordplay.
The Bogatyri kick off this four v four match-up. Svyatogor opens fire with his gun hand. US Agent blocks the shots from hitting Wonder Man and Scarlet Witch but Wolverine rushes right past Agent to immediately get knocked on his ass by the big Russian.
And then everyone splits up to find their dance partners.
US Agent rushes psychic Mikula. Mikula thinks US Agent will be easy to beat since he beat him and threw him in an inlet before. Remember that? It was pretty embarrassing. But Scarlet Witch is playing support this time, using her probability manipulation to protect US Agent from PSYCHIC BARRAGE, so US Agent manages to close the distance and clobber Mikula in his mustachioed face.
But with Wanda backing up US Agent, nobody is backing up Wanda. Dr Volkh sneaks up on her and WHAKs her in the head.
Sadly, Wanda is kind of a squishy wizard. At least in comparison to muscle man Wonder Man, healing factor Wolverine, and super soldier steroids US Agent. That one WHAK in the head takes her out of the rest of the fight.
Wonder Man rips a big metal pole out of the floor and WONKs Svyatogor with it and then SPLANGs him in the gun hand.
Muscle guy vs muscle guy is going well for Wonder Man until Morning Star hits him with a fireball.
See: this was a four v four and they lost Wanda so now its three v four. The Bogatyri have a numbers advantage, meaning they can easily interrupt match-ups that aren't going their way.
The fireball didn't actually kill or even knock out Wonder Man but he switches his ire from Svyatogor to Morning Star and punches her out of the air.
US Agent does his best to make up the numbers advantage by throwing his shield at Dr Volkh but actually aiming for Svyatogor. He's distracted by head KLONK and Wolverine capitalizes on that to claw him across the chest.
Seemingly only doing very shallow damage.
It's not really said whether Wolverine just misjudged the attack or whether Svyatogor's armored suit is some kind of metal that resists adamantium claws or whether something else is going on.
Wolverine tried to gut him but didn't manage to.
Wonder Man follows up on having knocked Morning Star out of the air, to check if she's okay. He hit her harder than he meant to because: mad. But he didn't mean to hurt her.
But, whoops!
She was playing possum and blasts fire through his head. Through.
Morning Star: "The motto of the Bogatyri is -- 'the only good American is a dead American!'"
Spoilers: Wonder Man does not die from being shot through the head with fire.
He's been undergoing some changes since he was at the epicenter of a Nega-Bomb explosion. I think this is the start of him becoming an ionic energy being and leading to existential worries about whether he's a person anymore. Mostly in his own solo book but it's popped up a bit in Avengers.
So, yeah, he can take a blast right through the brain.
Wolverine is having more luck keeping Svyatogor busy and US Agent manages to whip Dr Volkh around to hit Morning Star. But suddenly a bunch of Russian soldiers come in, guns blazing, and US Agent realizes that they're quite out-numbered here.
Also, US Agent is casually mutantphobic, calling Wolverine "mutie."
I don't think he's called Wanda that. I suspect he probably fearspects Wanda too much.
Wolverine and US Agent have to run, leaving behind the unconscious Scarlet Witch and Wonder Man. They don't like it but they don't have a lot of options.
Dr Volkh keeps the Bogatyri from pursuing, believing that the soldiers will be enough to keep the two heroes at bay. Besides, Operation: Polaris is nearly ready to start and he wants to focus on that.
Outside, Wolverine and US Agent regroup and decide they'll have to work together and that if US Agent keeps calling him "mutie" Wolverine will force-feed him his little wings.
Oh, and then a whole bunch of US and Canadian troops show up to help.
Honestly. That makes sense. It would have been weird if the US government just sent in US Agent and then shrugged when he didn't report back. And this is happening in Canada's backyard. They would have noticed one of their bases going radio silent.
A whole bunch of troops plus some tanks and shit will make up the numbers disadvantage for sure.
Meanwhile, back at Avengers West Coast Compound, Hawkeye talks to Captain America on the big monitor.
Despite Cap being on a leave of absence from the East Coast team and not having had a lot to do with the Avengers for a bit, he demands an update on the Canada situation.
Hawkeye reluctantly checks on the situation and discovers that both Agent's and Wonder Man and Scarlet Witch's Quinjet have stopped sending tracking data.
Cap asks whether the Avengers should get involved and Hawkeye is like 'only if you mean the West Coast team and not the East Coast team' and hangs up in a huff.
Mockingbird comes in and asks what all that was about and Hawkeye says he's still fed up with the West Coast team playing second fiddle to the original NY branch.
And then he admits that really none of this is his decision to make. The Avengers West Coast still haven't decided on a leader. They've just been doing whatever since Hawkeye rage quit the team. Whoever speaks most authoritatively is in charge moment to moment. And maybe these Avengers don't need a leader. Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch, Wonder Man... these are all seasoned veterans. Living Lightning and Spider-Woman know to look to their senpais. And US Agent constantly does what he wants anyway. Maybe they can make it work as a sort of union of mostly equals.
But it's weird. It's weird that they keep bringing this up as a problem and then not addressing it. It feels like it would be as easy as holding an election. It'll take an afternoon. But they keep just going 'and we don't have a chairman right now, shrug emoji!'
Anyway, Mockingbird skipped Iron Man Tony Stark's funeral, which Hawkeye asks her about. Mockingbird just reminds him that she emotionally can't handle funerals, ever since her mom and dad died. Which Hawkeye knew from being married to her but forgot. Whoops.
Mockingbird has something else to tell him but then Rachel (Spider-Woman's daughter) runs into the communications room or wherever here is. Spider-Woman Julia told her she wasn't to come in here but Rachel was just so excited to see how fast she could run from one end of the hall to the other.
It seems that Spider-Woman has decided that Rachel is moving into her personal bungalow on the compound. Rachel will be living with the Avengers. Because Larry died and now Julia is Rachel's only parental guardian and she's decided she'll parent Rachel better if Rachel is living with her.
It all makes sense when you put it like that but Hawkeye is very antsy about a child living adjacent to the Avengers. He decides to talk to Julia about it and second-guesses whether he even should or could given that again he's not the chairman and they have no chairman so I guess the decision would come down to a group vote? I really don't know how things work now.
Mockingbird stops him because dammit she has something she needs to talk to Hawkeye about but Hawkeye is very good at distracting himself. I mean, for one, there's that whole Canada situation that someone should do something about and oh hey Living Lightning is looking out the window looking melancholy. Let's go talk to him.
For an archer, he can be bad at focus.
Hawkeye walks over to check on Living Lightning and LL says he's decided to step back from active Avengersing and become a reservist. Learning about Iron Man's death has made Miguel think about how life can surprise you. So he wants to make something of himself by giving college the ol' college try.
His mom has been telling him that he needs an education, not just a job. And so has Consuela on the Avengers Compound support staff. But it was his own decision because he doesn't know whether his electrical powers are permanent or not and he wants something to fall back on if they fizzle out.
Aw. I liked Living Lightning. I was hoping he'd get to do more with the team. But he does say to call him if there's a big situation that needs extra Avengers so maybe he'll still pop up from time to time.
Out of distractions (except that Canada mission that Hawkeye really should address), Hawkeye asks what Mockingbird wanted to tell him.
Mockingbird: "It's about our divorce. Just in case you've forgotten... it's final in two weeks."
Ohhhhh, riiiiight. They've been estrange and separated but technically still married this whole time.
Two weeks on the clock, Hawkeye. There's still a chance to try couples counseling instead of just yelling at each other.
Anyway. I'm pretty sure Wolverine and US Agent aren't getting any reinforcements from the Avengers. Hawkeye insisted that the Avengers West Coast would handle it and then got distracted by several subplots.
Back in Canada,
The Bogatyri have some goofus group dynamics.
These guys are the Fantastic Four Except Russian and they do have some of that energy.
Morning Star turns out to be a big fan of Simon Williams. And the guy is not even a big star. She just seems to have an appreciation for some of the shlocky stuff he's been in like "Marsh-Thing Go Home!"
Which leads Mikula to quip that Svyatogor isn't allowed to watch films like that. Not because they were contraband or anything. They just give him nightmares and he tends to cause property damage in his terror.
Morning Star tells Svyatogor not to let Mikula press his buttons so Mikula presses his buttons HARDER by blasting him with a fire extinguisher and then telekineticing himself out of the way when Svyatogor tries to hit him in revenge.
A very the Thing and Human Torch dynamic between these two.
Wonder Man quips "Well, now -- so this is how the Soviet Union tore itself apart!"
Yeah, he can speak Russian, by the way.
Morning Star is just mortified that these idiots are embarrassing her in front of The Simon Williams! And then sheepishly asks if it would be awkward to ask for an autograph given that she shot him through the brain and tied him up and they're going to destroy North America.
Wonder Man: "No way, honey, just free my hands and give me a pen..."
Hah! You can be funny, Simon!
So in just one page, the Bogatyri have more characterization than some villains ever get. I wouldn't mind seeing the Bogatyri showing up more. But it seems this two-parter is all 3/4ths of the team gets. Morning Star gets a few more appearances but it's a damn shame that Fantastic Four But Russian didn't become a fun, recurring villain group.
Yes, granted, their fun energy is largely copying off of Fantastic Four's homework but that probably counts as a homage.
Anyway, fun is over. Plot explanation time now.
During all of the superhero fights and action scenes, a Russian tech called Miaskinov has been prepping Operation: Polaris. Freeze North America, etc.
The core of the plan is a unique "quick freeze crystal."
Ice-9. It is heavily inspired by Ice-9. Not exactly like Ice-9 but very, very much copying its homework over its shoulder.
This Canadian DEW station was, for some reason, researching the quick freeze crystal. Dr Volkh had been working on similar technology and he was able to combine his prototype with the Canadian prototype to synthesize a single perfect quick freeze crystal.
Dr Volkh puts the crystal in a machine doohickey and breaks open the vacuum globe it is contained within and the crystal starts quick freezing.
The core crystal absorbs heat from the air, causing ice crystals to form over it. Then more ice forms on that ice. And the ice just spreads and spreads and spreads. It can't cross large bodies of salt water so Not America will be safe but North, Central, and South America are going to be permanently frozen.
Dr Volkh hears gunfire and guesses that Wolverine and US Agent have returned. He tells the Bogatyri to go check that out while he continues doing the science stuff here.
When the Bogatyri find out it's just a normal soldier attack they still decide to chip in because eh.
Svyatogor: "Dr Volkh sent us -- and besides, I had tired of standing around listening to him talk." Mikula: "For once, Syvatogor, you and I agree!"
'Look, he's our esteemed leader but also, my god, does the man have exposition for days.'
Mikula telekineses a bulldozer and throws it at a tank while Svyatogor beats up dudes and Morning Star blasts them with her FIRE POWERS.
It's all going about as things always go when red shirts fight named, superpowered characters. But Morning Star is left wondering where Wolverine and US Agent got to.
Wolverine and US Agent got to sneaking inside the facility while all the soldiers serve as a distraction. Which neither Wolverine nor US Agent quite likes having to do. But it's also not like they just snuck away from the soldiers and left them in the lurch. This is the plan they worked out off-panel.
Wolvie and Agent find Dr Volkh and Miaskinov and also the room frozen over and Scarlet Witch and Wonder Man encased in ice.
While Wolverine goes after Dr Volkh, US Agent shield smashes Wonder Man out (because he was closer) and then Wonder Man starts PAWNCHing ice to get Wanda free.
But after being punched free, Scarlet Wanda notes that ice knocked off the main body starts to melt. So it's only ice connected to the original quick freeze crystal that's unmeltable.
Which means Wanda has a plan!
US Agent decides to leave her to it. He goes to join Wolverine now that the rest of the Bogatyri have shown up to back up Russian Reed Richards.
Wonder Man joins Wanda Woman in her Big Plan. She needs his muscle to smash through the ice to get to the main crystal.
Wonder Man: "If we can pulverize the core crystal, the rest of this stuff might just curl up and die, right?" Scarlet Witch: "And if it doesn't -- North America will!"
Also South America and Central America. You heard Russian Reed Richards. This stuff is spreading until it hits ocean.
Meanwhile, Wolveirne and US Agent keep the Bogatyri busy and mostly get the crap beaten out of them because its two on four.
Wolverine leaps at Morning Star, only to get telekinetically grabbed and thrown against the wall by Mikula.
Morning Star: "You stopped him, Mikula -- stopped him cold, as they say!"
The Bogatyri are having a lot of fun for two-appearance villains. They're doing wordplay and joking around with each other.
Wonder Man and Scarlet Witch start getting close to the core crystal and the cold starts getting to be too much for Wanda. But she insists on staying because her powers will be needed once they reach the core.
And you might be wondering what happened to the combined US and Canadian force? The Bogatyri did not, in fact, beat them all up before heading back inside. In fact, the US/Canadian group is overwhelming the Russian troops. But as they get closer to the facility, they're noticing how cold it is.
Dr Volkh finally realizes that Wonder Man and Scarlet Witch aren't where he left them. Which means they're after his precious ice crystal! He tries to disengage from the fight to go check but Wolverine and US Agent are just really good at drawing aggro. Like super good. They demand your attention and your face punches.
Volkh manages to get to the crystal juuuuuust too late to stop Scarlet Witch from hexing it to switch polarity. Instead of pumping out endless cold, the crystal is now switched to hot. All the ice coating the room starts to melt immediately.
And with the crystal not outputting ice anymore, the machine it was hooked to that was absorbing heat is now overheating.
Despite Dr Volkh insisting he needs to save the crystal, the Bogatyri drag him out of the base. And Scarlet Witch insists that the Avengers and Wolverine need to evacuate as well.
The Avengers manage to get out just before the base explodes. Wolverine gets out ummm after the base explodes. Has to push some rubble off himself. I guess its hard to run fast when your bones are covered in metal.
Wolverine is ready to go round three with the Bogatyri but with their evil plan melted and blown up, they're getting the fuck out of here back to Russia.
Leaving behind the captured Russian soldiers. Who are going to be a paperwork nightmare since they're all insisting they're Soviet soldiers and the Soviet Union doesn't exist anymore.
Scarlet Witch makes a point that this wouldn't have happened if Canada (and/or the USA?) hadn't been conducting secret Ice-9 research at an early warning base.
US Agent's take-away is 'wow good thing the Cold War is over because this early warning base blew the fuck up!'
Not a bad two-parter. I like the Bogatyri. Wolverine didn't overshadow everyone else. I remain confused why the Avengers West Coast book did two prominent guest-star arcs back to back.
NEXT TIME, BACK TO THE GATHERERS ARC! Yey!
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