#sweatin bullets

[scoopsahero-arc]

ok ok ok in all seriousness- i'm really glad we're friends and i hope you know i love you a lot <3

boy it’s really hard to type in this room full of divorce lawyers

[bringbackgoth]

still on puppy watch

[sagittarius4thewin-blog]

Walking around in my undies cause I'm too dam hot and my foster mom OBVIOUSLY doesn't know what AC is

[virtualuver]

I think the most nerve wracking moment of my life was when my older brother's hot friend was asking me questions about my first year of high school and he asked how many attractive guys have asked for my number.

[teenytinynerdbabytrash]

lady-anakin-skywalker said: I’m 23 and don’t even get paid for art…so you’re doing better than me ;)

Thank you for your kind words!!!! I don't know this whole thing is really intimidating to me.

[sweetlilgal]

Duck Dynasty - Fowl Play & Sweatin' Bullets

FOWL PLAY

Aww, yeah. You know we’re gonna have a good show when it starts with breaking and entering. Jase, Uncle Si, Martin & Jep start the episode by breaking into the Duck Commander offices in the early dawn hours to “borrow” Willie’s spotlight so they can go frog hunting. Willie finds out the boys broke in, so he installs security cameras. Of course, the boys come up with a grand scheme to avoid Duck Commander Spygate. Uncle Si fakes appendicitis. It’s a shame no one saw his Emmy-winning performance. Watching these big boys scramble when Willie comes for them cracks me up. They are like little boys, waiting to get scolded. I’m not one for frog legs, but those things sure did look good piled up on that plate, didn’t they?

Sadie snags some Mamaw and Papaw time after racking up 9300 text messages in one month. Miss Kay gives Sadie a cookin’ lesson mixed with a little sex ed. All she has to do is take the muffins out of the oven after 22 minutes, but she let’s them burn. So Phil takes her outside. The feminist in me wants to smack Phil when he says things like, “Send a woman up under a dark house, she tends to be more alert than she otherwise would be,” but I just love him too much. Phil gives Sadie passing grades on everything but cooking.

“I’m telling you, it’s God’s grocery store.” - Jase in reference to a good frog hole

“He’s a little junky, redheaded woodpecker.” - Uncle Si

“Naw, I can’t do it. I never was good at math. Oh, oh, right. Yeah, I can pull that off.” - Uncle Si after Jase explains a diversion isn’t math.

“I’ll take the underwear clean off your butt.” - Uncle Si

“Sadie’s muffins might’ve been burnt, but it’s better than anything I’ve had of Kori’s.” - Miss Kay

SWEATIN’ BULLETS

And we start episode two with an Uncle Si classic: I’m like Frosty the Snowman, I’m melting down to my boots. Jase pours ice into his hat. Godwin sticks his head in the mini-fridge. Jep cuts off the legs of his jeans while he’s wearing them, to make short pants, not shorts The AC is out and the boys are hot. Cut to Uncle Si in a redneck kiddie pool made in the bed of a pick up truck. The best part of this scene is the camera angle that show Jep’s white legs sticking out of his new short pants.

I don’t think the words “quick” and “Mountain Man” should ever be used in the same sentence. Listening to him talk is painful. Damn, Mountain Man eats as slow as he talks. Somebody get that man a grape slush!

Martin has a genius idea - sno-cones! Miss Kay suggests a water park, but of all the people, Jase won’t let his kids go to the water park because of bacteria and feces, but he’ll drop ‘em in the nearest pond to swim. But not before building a redneck water park. Actually, it’s not too shabby, it’s fun. Fun. Fun. Phil and Miss Kay sharing that tube was the sweetest thing I’ve seen.

“Last time it got this hot I blacked out, and I woke up naked and I was in the middle of a park.” - Uncle Si

“The last thing I need right now is for you to turn your perfectly good pair of blue jeans into jorts.” - Jase

“I’m like an owl, I don’t give a hoot.” - Uncle Si (yes, I’m totally stealing this)

“This thing is giving me a brain sneeze. Your brain needs a sneeze but hey, it can’t sneeze cuz its a brain, so it just hurts.” - Uncle Si

“This is kinda like Moses leading his people through the desert. That’s what you do when you’re hot and parched.” - Jase