Hi baby. :) You probably won't be able to read this but it's okay, I guess. haha because I probably won't have the courage to tell this to you anyway. so yeah, here it goes.
It's been approximately 4 and a half years since I first liked you. It's actually a funny story, how it happened. You had this thing for my best friend and I don't think she liked you back that time, so you settled for me - your second, maybe third (if you include her twin) choice - but I didn't mind because I was pretty much too happy about the fact that someone actually liked me.
You courted me and I said yes last September 15, 2008 but we broke up a month and 6 days later because turns out, you still liked my best friend and I was really hurt back then because I really liked you and I couldn't believe my first "relationship" would end that way.
49 days later, I found out that you and my best friend were already in a relationship and i was bitter. bitter about you, about her, about the fact that i was your second choice, about everything. I couldn't stand seeing you guys, I couldn't stand it all.
A few months later, you guys broke up and I was happy about it and it probably was because I wanted you back. I didn't want you with anybody else. I wanted you with me but it didn't happen because by then, I was gonna enter high school and we would end up in different schools so it wouldn't have worked out.
It was in the middle of SY 2009-2010 when we started talking again. You added me on facebook and I could still remember your profile picture back then and how you were teasing me about my profile picture. It was also the time when you told me that you had a crush on your batch mate, CJ. You told me that you really liked her and it secretly hurt because I still liked you but I just ignored that feeling because I was with RK that time and you weren't supposed to affect my feelings.
2nd year, we started going out. You wanted to court me that time and I told you to ask permission from my friends, Princess and Jean, first. I was surprised that you did. They told me you were serious because of that but I really didn't feel like being in a relationship that time so I talked to you about it. Luckily, we compromised and it was okay with you and we continued living our lives like nothing ever happened.
I was a junior when you started dating Zaini, and I must admit that I was hella jealous because I saw in you what I haven't seen in you before. We talked a lot and you told me that you liked her a lot. You really were in love with her and it was a good thing of course but it still stung a little and I didn't tell you because it wouldn't matter anyway AND i had a crush on my batchmate that time.
We used to talk a lot but I think Zaini got mad or smthn so we stopped. I didn't mind though, because I was busy with schoolwork and my mind was preoccupied all the time until... we started talking again but I was a senior already and you and Zaini had your first break up. (i think)
I remembered you told me that you and Zaini had already broken up and by that time, I didn't care anymore because I'd already moved on but things changed when you went to our house for the first time.
I remember that school was cancelled because there was a storm but you came anyway. I couldn't stop the butterflies back then because I felt special. I mean, you made me feel special. Then we took photos<3 and people started asking questions.
I don't really remember what happened after that, but I think we didn't mind them. you were like "Fuck the haters bruh" haha. and that somehow made me feel better about everything then things went well after that, we video chatted most of the time, and you also helped me with my project which was cool and then I started falling for you again.
We stopped talking again after that because you and Zaini got back together. We saw each other at NBS and that was the first time in months that we talked again. I asked you about Zaini and you told me you guys were okay but I think I told you some negative shit that time. sorry. idr.
Idk what happened. Idek how I knew I was right about the song you made for me before you even told me but that didn't matter...
So now, here we are. together again. :') Hi, Jason Patrick Cantuba Yodong. I hope you don't read this today or smthn lol. nakakahiya. :( but yeah. Babe, I'm so grateful and thankful about everything. You make me so happy, babe. Even though we fight a lot and we argue most of the time, I will ALWAYS fight for you, fight for us because you're worth it, Jason. Our relationship is worth it. I hope you never think of yourself as worthless because you aren't. You're worth than gold & more than anything else in this world, babe. I'm sorry, if I've ever made you feel that way before or if I've made you feel insecure because I talk too much and end up talking about other people. I'm sorry, I really am. I don't intentionally do it babe, it just happens and I'm really really really sorry. i'm sorry for all the times i've made you feel bad about yourself and for calling you a jerk back then. I'm sorry for being jealous about everything and everyone. I'm sorry for constantly wanting your attention. I'm sorry for wasting your time doing silly things. I'm sorry you spend a lot cause of me. I'm sorry. but I hope you understand and accept me for me. I love you so much babe. I love every little thing you do and every little detail about you. and I hope, this relationship will last because I'm really in love with you babe. Ikaw na eh. Ikaw nalang gusto ko makasama buong buhay ko. :')
so here's to going through fights, having the time of our lives and making so much more memories with each other. :')
P.S.
i hope you end up being my forever because I would really want that. <3
