Oct 14, 2013
have you ever had that boy that made your heart skip a beat? ♡
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have you ever had that boy that made your heart skip a beat? ♡
He didn't want to bother me raw. Mas okay naman na text ka ng text kaysa di ka lang man nagtext kasi at least alam kong naiisip mko. Sarap kasi ng feeling pag di mko naiisip e -.-
I wanna be happy with you. I wanna be unhappy with you. I just wanna be with you. :')
052713 (Tagalog post)
OKAY NA SANA EH. PERO PINAGMUKHA MKONG TANGA. :( TAPOS TINATANONG MO PA KANINA KUNG ANO MALI. EH NABABADTRIP KA NANAMAN EH. :| :( NAKAKAAFFECT DIN KASI NG MOOD PAGIGING BADTRIP MO. IDK KASI AYOKONG BADTRIP KA. KAYA NABABADTRIP DIN AKO. TAPOS SABI MO PA KANINA, SASAMA KA SA CLASS NI ATE IENA AND ATE MEG THEN YOU LEFT EARLY. PARANG WTF. :| :( DAHIL BADTRIP KA, GANUN NALANG. NAKAKAINIS LANG KASI GUSTO KONG NAGWOWORKSHOP TAYONG DALAWA. HINDI YUNG IKAW LANG. OR AKO LANG. TAYO. PERO HINDI MO SIGURO YUN GETS. ANG CLINGY NITO PAKINGGAN PERO GUSTO KO KASI LAGI TAYONG MAGKASAMA. ALAM KONG IMPOSIBLE KASI WE NEED TIME APART PERO SCHOOL'S NEAR AND WE'LL BARELY SEE EACH OTHER CAUSE OF OUR CONFLICTING SCHEDULES. AND IDK. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK. :( SORRY HA. I JUST WANNA SPEND EVERY MOMENT WT YOU HABANG DI PA TAYO BUSY. BUT YEAH. YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO WALK OUT KANINA. TAPOS NUNG SINIGAW KO YUNG PANGALAN MO DAHIL MEDYO ANG LAYO MO, DI KA PA LUMINGON. NAGMUKHA AKONG TANGA NUN, ALAM MO BA YUN? KAYA DI NA KITA HINABOL. ANG SAKIT. PINIPIGILAN KONG UMIYAK NUN PERO DI KO NA KINAYA KAYA PAGPASOK KO AD'LAINE, PUNONG PUNO NA NG LUHA MATA KO, BUTI NALANG, NANDUN SI KRIZZA AT KEANU. AT NUNG HINUG KO SI KRIZZA, DUN NA UNANG PUMATAK LUHA KO. EWAN KO. PERO SOBRANG SAKIT NA RIN EH. DI MO NAMAN KASI KINAILANGAN MAGWALK OUT. PWEDE NAMAN KASI NATING PAG-USAPAN. HINDI NAMAN KASI LAHAT NG BAGAY, NADADAAN SA PAG WWALK OUT. NADADAAN YUN SA MASINSINANG PAGUUSAP. PERO HINDI EH. HINDI MO YUN GINUSTONG GAWIN KAYA PINABAYAAN KITA. KAYA NGAYON, DI KO NA MUNA SINASAGOT MGA TAWAG AT TEXT MO. SIGURO KASI, AYAW PA KITANG KAUSAP DAHIL SOBRANG ANG SAKIT NUNG NANGYARI AT DAHIL GINUSTO MONG MANGYARI YUN E. IKAW YUNG HINDI TUMIGIL NUNG TINAWAG KITA. OO, NUNG UNA, SINASABI KO, WALANG MALI PERO KUNG KILALA MO NAMAN KASI AKO, SASABIHIN KO PARIN YUN DAHIL ALAM MO NAMANG DI KITA MATIIS. SO NGAYON, DI KA NAGPAPARAMDAM AND BAKA OKAY LANG KASI KAILANGAN DIN NATIN NG SPACE. EWAN KO KUNG KAILAN ULIT TAYO MAGUUSAP BUT I HOPE IT'S SOON. KASI SA TOTOO LANG, DI KO KAYANG DI KA PANSININ, HIRAP NA HIRAP NA NGA AKO KANINA NA HINDI KA PANSININ E. PERO KUNG DI PARIN TAYO MAGUUSAP NGAYON GABI, I HOPE YOU'RE SAFE AND HAPPY WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW. I REALLY DO. I LOVE YOU <3
Message to you. (052713)
Hi baby. :) You probably won't be able to read this but it's okay, I guess. haha because I probably won't have the courage to tell this to you anyway. so yeah, here it goes.
It's been approximately 4 and a half years since I first liked you. It's actually a funny story, how it happened. You had this thing for my best friend and I don't think she liked you back that time, so you settled for me - your second, maybe third (if you include her twin) choice - but I didn't mind because I was pretty much too happy about the fact that someone actually liked me.
You courted me and I said yes last September 15, 2008 but we broke up a month and 6 days later because turns out, you still liked my best friend and I was really hurt back then because I really liked you and I couldn't believe my first "relationship" would end that way.
49 days later, I found out that you and my best friend were already in a relationship and i was bitter. bitter about you, about her, about the fact that i was your second choice, about everything. I couldn't stand seeing you guys, I couldn't stand it all.
A few months later, you guys broke up and I was happy about it and it probably was because I wanted you back. I didn't want you with anybody else. I wanted you with me but it didn't happen because by then, I was gonna enter high school and we would end up in different schools so it wouldn't have worked out.
It was in the middle of SY 2009-2010 when we started talking again. You added me on facebook and I could still remember your profile picture back then and how you were teasing me about my profile picture. It was also the time when you told me that you had a crush on your batch mate, CJ. You told me that you really liked her and it secretly hurt because I still liked you but I just ignored that feeling because I was with RK that time and you weren't supposed to affect my feelings.
2nd year, we started going out. You wanted to court me that time and I told you to ask permission from my friends, Princess and Jean, first. I was surprised that you did. They told me you were serious because of that but I really didn't feel like being in a relationship that time so I talked to you about it. Luckily, we compromised and it was okay with you and we continued living our lives like nothing ever happened.
I was a junior when you started dating Zaini, and I must admit that I was hella jealous because I saw in you what I haven't seen in you before. We talked a lot and you told me that you liked her a lot. You really were in love with her and it was a good thing of course but it still stung a little and I didn't tell you because it wouldn't matter anyway AND i had a crush on my batchmate that time.
We used to talk a lot but I think Zaini got mad or smthn so we stopped. I didn't mind though, because I was busy with schoolwork and my mind was preoccupied all the time until... we started talking again but I was a senior already and you and Zaini had your first break up. (i think)
I remembered you told me that you and Zaini had already broken up and by that time, I didn't care anymore because I'd already moved on but things changed when you went to our house for the first time.
I remember that school was cancelled because there was a storm but you came anyway. I couldn't stop the butterflies back then because I felt special. I mean, you made me feel special. Then we took photos<3 and people started asking questions.
I don't really remember what happened after that, but I think we didn't mind them. you were like "Fuck the haters bruh" haha. and that somehow made me feel better about everything then things went well after that, we video chatted most of the time, and you also helped me with my project which was cool and then I started falling for you again.
We stopped talking again after that because you and Zaini got back together. We saw each other at NBS and that was the first time in months that we talked again. I asked you about Zaini and you told me you guys were okay but I think I told you some negative shit that time. sorry. idr.
Idk what happened. Idek how I knew I was right about the song you made for me before you even told me but that didn't matter...
-------------------
So now, here we are. together again. :') Hi, Jason Patrick Cantuba Yodong. I hope you don't read this today or smthn lol. nakakahiya. :( but yeah. Babe, I'm so grateful and thankful about everything. You make me so happy, babe. Even though we fight a lot and we argue most of the time, I will ALWAYS fight for you, fight for us because you're worth it, Jason. Our relationship is worth it. I hope you never think of yourself as worthless because you aren't. You're worth than gold & more than anything else in this world, babe. I'm sorry, if I've ever made you feel that way before or if I've made you feel insecure because I talk too much and end up talking about other people. I'm sorry, I really am. I don't intentionally do it babe, it just happens and I'm really really really sorry. i'm sorry for all the times i've made you feel bad about yourself and for calling you a jerk back then. I'm sorry for being jealous about everything and everyone. I'm sorry for constantly wanting your attention. I'm sorry for wasting your time doing silly things. I'm sorry you spend a lot cause of me. I'm sorry. but I hope you understand and accept me for me. I love you so much babe. I love every little thing you do and every little detail about you. and I hope, this relationship will last because I'm really in love with you babe. Ikaw na eh. Ikaw nalang gusto ko makasama buong buhay ko. :')
so here's to going through fights, having the time of our lives and making so much more memories with each other. :')
P.S. i hope you end up being my forever because I would really want that. <3
Concert for a Cause. HI PAROKYA NI EDGAAAAR! \m/ (0112912)
School was such a huge blur. -.- we presented our Chem videos and we took our Physics long test which, i think i failed, due to hardness and such. lol. but okay. that doesn't matter because I went to watch Parokya ni Edgar today \m/ ohyeaaa. are you jealous? ;)
I finished the long test at around 4:20. and a lot of people were still working. Princess and I changed our clothes after that because she had to go to Pangasinan and I had a concert to attend. I texted my best friend (Alvin - Karyn's cousin) that he should wait for me because I don't have anyone to go to the concert with. But before I met with him, I stayed in school until 5:30 because I waited for Drexell and Tyron. Since it was almost 6 (did i mention that the concert was at 7?) i left with the "Imp Gang" haha. yes. :)
I arrived in town 15 min. later and I immediately went to meet with alvin. we went to go to assumption rd because I had to do something. then we proceeded to wait for a cab. waiting for a cab took forever. -.-
we waited at assumption - where Drexell and Tyron texted that they won't be coming because Idek the reason. -, then we went to session rd, then we went to harrisson rd, then we went to sunshine, then we went to the "paradahan" of the jeepney going to Easter College, and THERE, we got a cab. -.- lol. (did i mention that I had a mountain dew bottle that I used to hit Alvin. he got hold of my bottle when we were at harrisson rd and started hitting me back because I hit him so much. X))
when we got to Easter College, we went to Karyn then we hung out at the topmost part. We went around so much that i didn't notice alvin gone. then i was alone... Julian came at around 7:20. We went down around 8. Francis, Kristian and their friend Patrick who doesn't really talk much (he doesn't have emotions. like srsly) came at around 8:30. Parokya ni Edgar performed at around 9:30.
They played these songs: (not in order tho. i forgot. -.- and i might've missed some songs too. sorry.)
1) some unknown song
2) para sayo
3) halaga
4) mr. suave
5) pangarap lang kita
6) silvertoes
7) yes yes show? wat.
8) one and only you
OMG. 8 LANG NAALALA KO? REALLY? :| hay. idt that they only performed 8 songs. they ended around 11. but i didn't get a photo with Chico Miranda. WHY? :((((((((((((((((( but ohwell. <3
Maybe It's Time
There really comes a time when you should just stop, and without hesitating, end it once and for all.
You do not know why but you just cannot stop hurting each other. Always bringing out the ugliest of one another. And no matter how many times you try, things are just not really working out. Not anymore.
But yes, the fire is still very much there. And no, you cannot imagine how is it going to be without him/her… yet things have already come to a point where the pain is too much to bear.
And so when you are alone, you will cry, definitely. You will cry to the point where your eyes become so swollen and hurt… and tears will still flow. You will incessantly think about him/her. Memories after all, are the only ones left when everything has gone. The happy times, the moments filled with love, childish promises, the wonderful kisses, the warm hugs, the smell, the smile… you will give a bitter smile, and all of these will make you cry all over again.
You will think about getting back. Reconciling. Promising to be better this time. Compromise… but you know that will never happen… things will just turn out to be the same again. You will fight, and fight you will until you cannot stand it anymore… and you are back to where everything started. You and he/she will never make things right…not this time at least.
Yet you know what you both have was real. This is something which only happens once in a lifetime. Not all people get the chance to experience a love this pure, strong, and overwhelming. There is no shallowness, no pretensions, no doubts. You get scared of not having this kind of love anymore for the rest of your existence because you can honestly tell to yourself that he/she is definitely THE one, the ONLY one for you.
But it really is over this time.
Because maybe you need to take another look at yourselves…
Maybe you need to grow first…
Maybe you need to give each other space…
Maybe you really aren’t for each other after all…
Or…
Maybe you need to leave the rest to fate…
This is one of the few things that you need to end… ending without ever turning back. Going back is useless. And moving forward will only cause unbearable pains, endless tears, struggles, regrets… but it is the only way to go.
And finally you decide to let go. The warm hugs, the wonderful kisses, the smiles, the love. And the thought of you not crossing paths again is killing you. But you will be strong. You will barely survive it but you will do it.
It is time to let go.
It is time to move on.
And then someday, someday, who knows… maybe…
helloooo. this is yet, another public rant. :)
hi thereeee. so, the last time i blogged, i said that i'd tell you how his match went or whatever, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, i don't have the details. :( i'm sorry. it's just he isn't replying/ he doesn't give a flying fuck so, like yeaaah. sadlife yo.
anywho, today turned out to be awful. -.- we got to play pusoy dos and tongt-its in class. >:) mehe. WE. ARE. COOL. \m/ but this one person ruined my day. like srsly ruined it. remember that girl I was telling you about in my last post? yep, SHE ruined it. yaaaaaaay. dakilang panira :)
she ruined it because I heard from my best friend that our friend told her about it. like, their group was talking about me and stuff then biglang it went to her then that girl told her group of friends about my best friend's past. YES, PAST.
idk man. I'm just pissed because, well, everybody has a past and everybody deserves to be given the chance to change, regardless of how awful they were before. everybody at least deserves a second chance to improve things or make things better but reminding them about their past? it's wrong. it'll just make them feel bad about themselves. that's why as much as possible, i try to keep the negative things about my past experiences and my friend's past experiences to myself because it's not really nice to be reminded of it. :)
so, okay. there's a reason why it's called the PAST, though. it means it has already happened. and you sharing it to other people means violating the rights of the people who own those stories. you should at least learn or think about asking the person about it. especially when you know that it's supposed to be b/w both of you lang.
REMEMBER: it's not your story to tell.
lololol. i'm such a hypocrite. X) loljk. but yessss.