#sweetsigyn

[a-flickering-soul]

Trick or treat 🎃

Trick! Ferrero Rocher brussel sprouts!

[pocketgalaxies]

Just finished watching Calamity, I kept thinking Play d&d they said, it'll be FUN they said. It was heartbreaking and absolutely amazing.

watch critical role they said it'll be fun they said

it is RELENTLESS EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

[lokilickedme]

The first thing that popped in my head was Jack finds an abandoned baby, brings it home and announces it's theirs now. How would Loki react?

OMG, I wasn’t expecting this and I think it’s safe to assume Loki wouldn’t be either lol - although it’s pretty much on-brand for Jack, isn’t it?  “Oh by the way honeybunnyboopsiepoot, I found something in the park today, hope you don’t mind I kept it.”

Loki’s back immediately goes stiff and he takes a deep breath.  “What is it?”

“Oh, just a little thing.”

“How little of a thing?”

“I dunno, maybe eight or nine pounds.”

“That doesn’t seem very little.”

“Don’t worry about it, it doesn’t eat a lot yet.”

“Is it a dog, Jack?”

“I don’t think so.”

Loki sighs, raking his hands through his hair.  He’s been here before.  More than once.  Okay, more than twice.  “Delilah Jack Montague, what species is it, and if you lie to me I’m going to nail your foot to the floor ten feet from the bathroom.  Species.  Now.”

“How should I know what species it is?  Human I’d guess, but you’re not human and neither am I but we both look like we are, so - “

“JACK WHAT THE FUCK IS IT?!?!”

*wailing sounds kick up from the bedroom*

“Oh for Odin’s sake don’t tell me - “

Jack smiles sweetly.  “There were no adults nearby and it was by itself so...”

“Jack, this isn’t Wild Kingdom, you don’t judge a human child’s claimability by whether or not there are any grownups around!”

“Oh really?  Isn’t that what your dad did with you?”

“EXACTLY!!  Take it back right now, put it back where you found it.”

“But there was a note, it said ‘Please take care of my baby because I can’t’.”

Loki raises an eyebrow.  “Let’s see this note.”

(note reads pretty much exactly like Jack said)

“Well I’ll be buggered.”

A WEEK LATER~

“So I was thinking something like Mordecai would be good, it’s a healthy sounding name for a little guy.”

“Mordecai Montague??  You’re fucking kidding me.  It’s an awful name and it’s already your middle name and it didn’t do you any favors so no.  I’m calling him Scooter.”

“Scooter??  It’s not a cat, Jack.”

“No but he scoots around and it suits him.”

Loki hefts the baby up and looks him in the eyes.  He waits till Jack leaves the room, then gives the infant a quick kiss on the head.  “Mordecai.”

@sweetsigyn

[dresupi]

Witches (E) - Darcy Lewis/Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier

for @sweetsigyn​ 595 words Rated E (under the cut) I’ve been cursed, can you help me?

~~~~~~~~~~

Geralt was practically carrying the bard when he arrived in her hut.

“What happened?“ Darcy asked, alarmed at the pale complexion on the usually rosy bard.

“I’ve been cursed,” Jaskier mumbled.

“No shit, by who?” she asked, looking to Geralt.

“He was cursed by a man he’d cuckholded.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “You really need to find a nice girl to settle down with,” she chastised, walking over to her herb station.

“I found one, but she’s fucking my best friend, so what do you do about that?” Jaskier teased.

“Where does it hurt, Jaskier?”

He was silent, and she had to turn around to see him having a silent conversation with Geralt, who finally answered. “His cock.”

“Oh gods,” Darcy sighed and reached for the right herbs. “I’ll have to do an external cure, then... maybe followed by some tea. But this should help.”

She had them blended with a bit of oil, heating it over a fire and rapidly cooling it with another spell, turning towards them and setting the bowl down on a small table beside the bed.

“Bring him over here,” she instructed. “Let me see.”

“See?” Jaskier sputtered as Geralt reached for the fastening on his britches.

“Wait... Darcy... it looks awful, you shouldn’t.”

“I’ve seen it all,’ she replied. “I’ll need to apply the poultice by hand, to the affected area. Relief will be instantaneous, I assure you.”

“He inhaled and nodded, casting his eyes upward as she undid his britches, eyes going wide, but then again, this curse was fairly nasty, so the results matched that.

She began by dripping some of the oil over him, watching as the skin sizzled and healed immediately, and he yelped and kicked as she slowly dripped it all over and then took it in hand, rubbing it all over the freshly healed skin as he panted and finally looked down, watching her hand move all over him.

“You were right, that was fast... ohhhh...” He groaned as Darcy kept rubbing. “It’s fine. You don’t have to...”

“I do, actually... is that alright? Or do you want to do it?”

“Do it? Do what?”

“I need to massage you until completion,” she replied, arching an eyebrow. Want me to continue?”

He panted, his thighs clenching. “I should do it myself...”

“Let her,” Geralt murmured. “She’s good at it, and you’ve had a difficult go of it today... But it’s my turn next...” he shot her a look and she returned it, her hand sliding over Jaskier’s rapidly stiffening cock.

“Wait... wait... gods.... Darcy...” Jaskier was bucking towards her, and Geralt was still holding him down. “Not gonna lie, this has always been a fantasy of mine... except you’re a bit more nude,” he said. “Both of you.”

Geralt rolled his eyes. “Maybe later on, when you aren’t on the brink of death, we’ll be nicer. Right now, concentrate on coming, could you?”

“I don’t normally this quickly, but this feels...”

“I get that a lot,” Darcy replied, glancing coyly over at Geralt before turning her attention back to the one in her hand, speeding her fist and causing Jaskier to groan and pulse up and over her fist.

“Did that burn?’ she asked.

“Only at first,” he hissed.

“Good. You’re cured,” she said, standing and reaching for a rag to clean his seed from her hand.

She’d no sooner cleaned herself off than Geralt was pulling her into his arms.

“Jealous?” she asked, clearly teasing.

“No,” he growled. “Wouldn’t mind joining in next time.”

“You’re both kiling me right now...” Jaskier breathed.

[leftennant]

LEFTY!!!! Darcy is coming back! Time to start carrying potatoes again. I refuse to give up hope that tasertricks can still happen. Love ya lady, hope you are doing ok

IT’S MUTHAFUCKING TATER TIME!!!!

[anniemar]

When I first started with tumblr and a03 I commented on a fic, saying wow I didn’t see that coming and the author responded that’s too bad I was hoping someone would pick up on the subtext. I’ll be honest, I had to look up subtext I just didn’t know what it meant. I was sitting there looking at my phone thinking omg I’m too stupid to leave comments. I was a long time before I started commenting again and I still worry all the time that I sound like an idiot.

I’m so sorry that happened! DUDE. You could never ever ever sound like an idiot. You are one of Darcyland’s dearest readers and commenters. You’ve given me SO MUCH love and support over the years and I’m eternally grateful, and I’m positive there’s many many other authors that feel that way about your kind and generous words. Your endless support. You’re always there cheering us on. You are a GEM in this fandom, dude. A very important part of us. And I love you. 

[d-lewis-avengerwrangler]

Primrose, honey perfume, wisteria

Primrose: what book does everyone right now need to read?Well, I’m currently re-reading the Hobbit, followed by the Lord of the Rings trilogy, for the Nth time...“Amelia Bedelia! She’s funny.”Honey Perfume: favorite movie ever?Ughhh.... My Fair Lady, Singing in the Rain, What We Do in the Shadows, The LOTR and Hobbit trilogies, Fantasia...“Moana and Frozen and Belle and mostly all princess movies.”Wisteria: whom do you admire and why?Frigga; she puts up with a lot of bullshit.“Adults and other tall people.”(rephrased as ‘Who do you look up to’) 

[nobutsaurusly]

61 “Welcome back. Now fucking help me.” with Darcy/Loki

“Welcome back,” she said with her upper body underneath the couch, “now fucking help me.”

There was a pause behind her. “I am…unsure as to what is currently happening.”

Darcy’s body jerked backwards as she tried to free herself. “Your stupid fucking ow cat, got her stupid fucking toy stuck under the couch. I was trying to motherfucker get it, but I got damn it stuck. Can you please,” her voice deceptively calm, “get me out of here?”

It took all of Loki’s, admittedly strong, self-control not to laugh. She was well and truly stuck under the couch and the cat in question was busy sunning herself in the window.

He briefly debated taking a picture. 

“Loki.”

He then decided it wasn’t worth her wrath and promptly picked the couch up. “Sorry, dear.” 

She just glared.