The Swexter: Don't Knock It Till You've Rocked It
Have you ever rolled out of bed (or whatever it is that you sleep in) one morning and thought to yourself: Well boys*, looks like it's gonna be a swexter day?
(*Boys in this scenario may signify one's biceps, stuffed animals, pet furbies or more mundanely, one's fellow roommates)
No, you haven't. Because no right-minded, sober person would ever willfully choose to wear a swexter. A swexter chooses you during your weakest moments of fashion deprivation.
At this point many all of you are probably wondering: WTF is a swexter.
Allow us to clarify.
To say that a singular definition of swexter exists would be like trying to convince your babysitter that there is only one volume of Land Before Time. Ignorant, false and downright offensive.
Though we could spend all day fleshing these out, we unfortunately have a real job to (pretend to) do. So, we will provide you a few thought-starters, instead. A swexter (n.) is an original term coined by the JSC staff, which is taken from the English words for "sex" and "sweater." Definitions include:
A piece of clothing that has the ability to IMMEDIATELY negate any semblance of sexual arousal
A top that creates the illusion of a 50-80 lb weight gain
A fashion choice that looks not unlike the rug in your dentist's office
A knitted sheep that you, and the rest of your extended family (give or take 2 neighbors from across the street), owns and dawns in unison at family holiday functions -- see below
You get the idea.
In honor of holiday party season, here you have it. The first installment in what will undoubtedly be an ongoing series of swexter posts.
In the words of Bill Cosby: “The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.”
Jam on.