anxiety
okay but thinking about her is so great and everything and remembering all the times she cried for me or caring about me is so sweet but then again its so scary to think if she lied to me that one time about that thing in her room and its so so horrrifying because of what I read in a particular conversation that I wasn’t supposed to see but the tone of it was so guilty and weird and I don’t feel safe in my own skin and what even is the meaning of life like this if it all ends unless the whole point of it is to have as MUCH fun as POSSIBLE with the people you want to be with? And isn’t it like, compromising for people other than the ones you REALLY want to be with is like...losing literal value from life? And maybe some things are worth working over so you get more time to have fun with those people idek now ugh