How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways
There were so many things I loathed when I first started swimming.
The deep end.
The aggressive seniors.
The swim bullies (is what my coach calls the group of regulars who swim on weekend mornings).
The swim team practice sessions.
The cold.
The crowded lanes.
The hyperventilation.
The nausea.
The dizziness.
The aching in muscles I didn’t even know existed until I started swimming.
The pain in my lungs.
The water in my ears (I immediately bought a pair of plugs).
So what kept me going back? Stubborn. I simply refused to roll over and drown.
My pool is 25m long with 4 lap lanes and an open area for non lap swimmers. Each lane is marked with a speed. On any given day, there is at least 1 person per lane. On busy days, we’re stacked 3 deep. The rule is that if you are in a lap lane, you better be swimming laps. If you are in the fast lane, you better be able to swim fast. Or you are going to get mowed over.
I was in the slow lane for a year. The octogenarian I often shared the lane with swam circles around me. And he swam with one arm, I suspect he had a stroke.
Slowly but surely, I got better at it. Here’s how…
Tip #1 - if you are no stranger to swimming but suck at it, I recommend getting the Total Immersion dvd. That was what taught me to how to swim, not my coach. She just kicked my ass by making me do it.
Tip #2 - hum when you exhale. This is the one thing I wish someone had told me in the beginning! Holding your breath under water is instinctive and humming forces you to exhale very evenly.
Tip #3 - kick less. This is counter intuitive to what every coach will tell you. But the less you kick, the less energy you use. The less energy you use, the less you tire. The TI dvd devotes an entire chapter on the 2-beat kick.
Tip #4 - stop counting laps. It’s the same philosophy as when someone asks “how many glasses of water do you drink a day?” The knee jerk response is to count to see if you’ve hit your 8. These days, my response is “I drink when I’m thirsty.” As for swimming, I go until I feel like I’m going to drown, put in 2 more laps and then call it quits.
Lastly, you have to swim a minimum of 3 times a week on a regular basis, but not on consecutive days. Your body needs a break in between the torture.
It took me a year and 11 months (almost to the day) but I can now swim, non stop, over 400m freestyle. Extra bonus, I can also smoke my 16 year old’s ass in the pool these days. Ta da!!
