#swirl_talks

[lopswirl]

quick and sloppy doodle filler Recently made some gift art of a couple people I think are neat and would like to post them but it feels weird. I'm still continuing my extreme lurking habits where I never like or reblog or any other interaction stuff thats available on similar platforms. Sometimes I like something on accident and I instinctually unlike it immediately as if there's some curse attached to giving a heart even though it makes no sense. So it must be strange to be tagged from an account with no following thats never interacted with your stuff. I could just not mention names but then it's like what was the point y'know. I know there's literally no harm and it's just a nice thing to do in general I suppose, creating art for others and all, but this whole online interaction thing with people whom I will never meet in real life is pretty new for me. Lurking back then was probably beneficial as in hindsight it likely saved me a lot of trouble because of how I unfortunately stumbled into some mature spaces when I was by all means way too young, but it's not like I can reverse time and correct myself. Also doing anything on the internet in general is so permanent even if it doesn't seem that way. The thought does spook me sometimes, that people are able to find things from so many years ago, even if seemingly deleted.

[lopswirl]

I've been seeing casualties unknown make its rounds recently and might play the game when it fully comes out on steam. It's certainly not the type of game I would normally play, as former me would have likely dismissed it as "furry bait", but it looks interesting I suppose.

cw: kink mentions below

I was somewhat surprised to have discovered the existence of a well-developed fat kink mod already despite being just a demo. It was apparently allowed to exist by orsoniks when brought up which is double surprising.

And triple surprising that willow (rotund world) is on the project as well. A little funny to see the progression from kaji to rotund world to casualties xl and the increasing I guess "blatant-ness" of it all but I'm certainly not complaining or judging. I had faint traces leaking myself that could definitely be seen as foreshadowing to an extent.

[lopswirl]

I keep getting reminded of the permanence of the internet every time I enter some sort of short rabbit hole.

Seeing one time off handed things that connect towards something else you see later. As much as it is fascinating and I like learning obscurities about certain places, people, or things, I feel like sometimes I'm crossing a line and entering dangerous territories. Not dangerous as in I'm uncovering something deplorable or sensitive or using forbidden methods, but as in I wouldn't exactly be pleased if somebody did the same to me. Even if it's performed with similar non-nefarious motivations and not reaching anything personal.

[lopswirl]

This whole self-discovery if you can call it that because I sort of always knew it in my heart for the longest time, has been quite the double-edged sword so far.

One of the boons is that I've been a lot more motivated to draw recently. I have some semi-organized folders for art by month, and my output has around tripled if not more. You can say it's because I've got a thing, but I also just sort of get more ideas from it that I think are unexplored or interesting. Unfortunately, I'm also still not really over my self-disdain for creating this kind of art, and it doesn't feel like I ever will. What sort of prompted this whole post is that I'm currently sketching out an idea that, while I think is cute and a cool idea and sfw, goes a bit beyond anything I've done for this account I think. And it's just felt really weird seeing it on my screen, knowing that nobody else in my life would approve of what I'm doing and including my past self not so long ago. I do hope to transfer some of this motivation to some other goals relating to the arts. For one, I've always wanted to make a full length animation to a music track. Been having ideas that have stuck around for months but never started on them knowing that it would likely take many months just to reach nobody. As an extension I've also thought about learning to make music myself since I've enjoyed doing other music-related things like playing rhythm games and dancing, and I also just sort of loop songs when doing literally anything.

[lopswirl]

cw: kink talk again yep

I feel like part of the hangup of saying I like chunky things, is that to a regular person that has the slightest clue of the internet it could translate into literally 100 different ideas in their mind. I'm sure there's a statistical correlation that being into one specific thing makes you more likely to also be into everything adjacent, since the boundaries are usually redefined after lines are crossed, but it must be so fucking weird to have to go like "no no no you don't get it that's something totally different it's called inflation. Oh this one? Yeah I know they all get big and round but this one is vore it's a completely separate thing trust me." Labels have their conveniences but just so much kind of getting dumped under fat kink/fetish makes it hard to explain the specifics. I also feel like this is one of the contributors to why this topic is such a grey zone because the people not into it, the ones more likely to take some kind of opposition, will have this schema of the broad term of fat fetishism that's formed out of negative associations with a few branches that they find particularly revolting. The people doing that aren't evil or intentionally misconstruing, it's just what people naturally do to process new information based on previous stimuli. It sucks that it has to be this way but nothing I or anyone can really do about it honestly. I don't think most people have the time or patience anyways to hear somebody delve deep into all the sub-kinks and intricacies of something they were never into in the first place.

[lopswirl]

I'm aware of the new main rw confessions blog and I'm glad it exists but I do kind of miss the old one somewhat. (@/the-real-rain-world-confessions for those unaware)

I'll probably never have that strange feeling again of being on the sidelines and seeing a small trend of confessions specifically related to this weird interest of mine. A lot of them were about defending or expressing indifference to the concept, which was kind of nice I suppose. Yeah tumblr is definitely weighted towards certain beliefs that aren't representative of any general population, and the average real person would absolutely be a lot more condemning, but it was reassuring I guess to feel not hopelessly lost. It's just hard to find anybody who wasn't already into it to some extent talking about stuff like this.

Even the more adversarial or condemning ones were helpful, because at least I can get a better understanding of things and it usually creates a response from another person later that I get to read anyways.

The old one was also just larger since it existed at the downpour boom, so at the very least it felt like there was some variance and different people around too.

[lopswirl]

I was listening to the deltarune chapter 5 ost and it made me want to ramble on music and videogame OSTs so here's that. (No spoilers unless you feel like clicking links and even then it's barely for anything important at all)

I used to listen to a lot more videogame OSTs, as in like all that I would listen to was videogame OSTs. I've slowly branched out over the years and diversified to more "real music" and generally the most hype moments and aura songs still get the most attention which is a little unfortunate. (Think like kayava from rain world or I guess megalovania lol) I mean I like them too and I loop them all the time, but there's something special about the slower melancholic songs in an album or set that invoke some indescribable feeling of nostalgia.

It sounds corny, and I only really did this starting 2026, but something about occasionally just walking to empty places alone at dusk/night and sitting down somewhere listening to that sort of music really is magical, and I suppose even moreso now in modern times given the undivided attention everything demands.

What prompted this ramble initially was reaching to one of the shops in ch5 of deltarune and hearing shop3, which was one of those songs that got that certain feeling out of me. I got reminded of some other ones like reclaiming entropy from rain world obviously, the lonely tower / sanctuary zero from Tower of Heaven, wherever we are now from Cassette beasts, and a whole bunch more that I don't feel like listing out because it would take a long while but yeah.

I guess all that I'm saying here is touching grass alone to music at night is pretty great and you should try it.

[lopswirl]

I came across this post and it spurred a desire to ramble just a little bit. (I'm not reblogging or commenting from original post because I know this account is weird)

I don't have the greatest say on what things were like before downpour, since I only really arrived the moment after downpour came out. I was aware of the game's existence before downpour since I watched a youtuber called Foekoe back then who made a video on the base game 5 years ago, but I didn't play it or engage in anything at the time. But I do get what it must have been like back then as I've talked about being in other communities that have received comparable magnitudes of popularity booms. Something strange though is that even for those other communities, I haven't seen a sort of public divide to the extent of the pre vs. post downpour conflict before. Perhaps remaining in relative obscurity for so, so long created this strong nostalgia for those early to the game. A year or two of obscurity is long yes, but there's something about Rain World's original release being back in 2017, nearly a decade ago and 6 years before downpour that's uniquely special and a little hard to grasp. While the size of the broader community and fandom has certainly ginormously expanded, it still feels like a smaller community of sorts to me. Once things get large enough, smaller sub communities and niches form that replicate that former experience of creating something for a few individuals. It's not necessary to be everywhere all the time to be a fan.