#swpo

[starwarspissorgy]

Crowd Control is the funniest look into Dropout's viewer demographics. They get several kinksters per episode, some of whom aren't labeled as such. Everyone is gay and transgender. Someone had two dads and it wasn't even the thing they were there for. It got to the point that someone's thing was that they were the heaviest-born baby in their hospital's history and the comic was primed at that point to just ask out of the gate "do you do adult baby stuff?" Renn fairs come up multiple times an episode, sometimes with people who don't have obvious connections to renn fairs. Schooling in the most out-there shit comes up even more often. Someone went to Italy to master the art of taxidermy then turned out to consider themselves an amateur. There was a throuple and members of an 8-person transbian kitchen table poly household and it was kind of like "I mean that's normal." A girl went on to talk about how cool fountain pens are and ended up delivering the punchline of the entire episode and now half of Tumblr is following her because this made everyone fall in love with her. We are all the fucking same.

[starwarspissorgy]

I've been sending this to my girlfriend every time I read another chapter of ranked competitive breast growth, now that I'm caught up and seeing new chapters at the same time as everyone else here I'm going to go ahead and post it for everyone.

[starwarspissorgy]

writing RCBG fanfic bc I need to see these dumb bitches happy

Katherine

What's this? A knock on my door? Just as I finish a long, anime-inspired speech to psych myself up to begin cloaking my best friend's view of me in lies about transitioning for profit, that same individual enters my inner sanctum.

"Hey I can't keep this from you any more so I'm just gonna say it: I'm a trans woman! You're my best friend and I want you to know first, even though I haven't even chosen a name, and it'll be years until I can access transition care."

Oh.

"Rejoice! It is most fortuitous that you come to me with this news, my bosom sister, for not only does it enable me to reveal the long-hidden lore that I, too, am a secret sister to you, it also reveals to me a wicked scheme by which the two of us can transition to feminine glory side-by-side! For behold, the estrogenic awesomeness of the beautiful Katherine, achieved via subterfuge from a secretive accord server into which I will now induct you, where we can plot not only the attainment of the elixirs of your forthcoming feminization, but how we will conspire to make off with the million dollar prize for growing the largest chest!"

My newfound transition-mate looks close to tears.

"Oh my god Katherine! I never imagined in a million years this could go so well! I'm so happy to know that I get to share this phase of my life with you that I hardly care about this million dollar prize! Let's vow to never hold anything back from each other again!"

Annoyingly, my second least favourite roommate interrupts our celebration.

"Guys, I just got off the phone and I have terrible news. Jeff just slipped on a pile of dog shit and landed face-first in a different pile of dog shit, causing him to lose consciousness and drown in liquid dog shit. He's dead forever."

For some reason I do not care about the fate of our late roommate. My only emotion is the desire to meet the needs of my untitled best friend - who will surely choose a good name with time to do so and not be so silly as to simply invert the gender of her deadname - by getting her estrogen immediately, and then speaking nothing but my true feelings about anything else that happens as she becomes more womanly, no matter what that results in.

Chapter 2: incredibly sensual and cathartic transbian sex

[starwarspissorgy]

Pokémon is so funny, Mimikyu is a popular mascot that famously makes itself look vaguely like a pikachu by balancing a ball on its head under a blanket, and its ability is that even if the 9 year old who's currently controlling the deity that created reality tells it to attack the body, and the deity blasts it with a super effective attack called "Judgement" that fires countless beams of energy, each larger than all of Mimikyu, then when the dust clears all that will happen is that the ball just falls down revealing that God has yet again fallen for Mimikyu's ruse, and it is unharmed.

[starwarspissorgy]

You'd think the girls on this website would be better at doing their laundry the way they talk about putting loads in machines

[starwarspissorgy]

Love following girls who are weird about computers. There will be an old bulky laptop displaying the startup splash screen to an OS from the 90s on my feed and I'll be like cool this does nothing for me in any way except that I know this was reblogged in a horny way and that enriches my day.

[starwarspissorgy]

Be gay do crime: almost everything good lives here. Tranarchist urban communes. Your favourite mutual. James Baldwin. Good cyberpunk.

Be straight do crime: some good stuff still. Any ally worth anything. Mid cyberpunk. Emma Goldman. Unfortunately, though, also colonialist war criminals and Andrew Tate. Mixed bag to be honest.

Be gay do law: you're losing me. RuPaul? Pete Buttigieg? Sarah McBride? Whatever. Steven Universe is excusable and I guess there's, like, Eddie Izzard? Anything else culturally in this quadrant is going to be abysmal.

Be straight do law: this is just fascism. I'm incredibly frightened of you. Putin. The guy who always makes my sandwich wrong at the local Subway. The worst cyberpunk you've ever read. Adam Sandler. The only person I want to hear about EVER in this quadrant is Devon Legal Eagle and like come on look at that hair he's hiding something

[starwarspissorgy]

I know I should get on a waitlist like everyone else but this sign is kind of enticing