We Come Back Every Time
Author's Note: Here we are again, another story in a space of a week woahza! Originally I was going to make this more than one chapter but since I’m only just getting back into the writing game I figured let's not make it too difficult for ourselves. ‘Cause of this, I’m sorry if the start is very in depth and the rest feels kinda rushed. I originally didn’t mean to go that deep and detailed to the start but it just happened. Anyway this starts of in the 1989 era and moves into the Reputation era with mentions of Calvin/Adam, Tom and Joe. I really really hope you enjoy this. The idea was one I originally had back in 2015 for a one shot that was going to turn smutty but like I said, it’s been a while. A smutty one may be coming up next before I take One Night can Change Everything. Anyway, you know the drill. Comment, vote, like etc. It really inspires me to write more when I know people are reading and enjoying my stuff. This is also the longest fic I’ve written in a LONG while.
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August 2016
Taylor scrolled through Instagram looking at fan posts while the car drove down the busy streets of London. They pulled up to a red light, at the same time receiving a text from Adam that read “ Goodnight beautiful.” She smiled, not responding to the message.
The car began to move again, taking her the remaining distance to the hotel that Adam was currently staying in. He was in town for some festival and Taylor was sad she couldn’t join him originally. With some work by her team, they were able to shift things around so she could surprise him on a last-minute flight to London.
The pop-star wore a trench coat and a pair of heels with a black lace dress underneath. She managed to get changed on the jet before stepping into the awaiting car. Pulling up to the Ritz-Carlton, she grabbed the Louis Vuitton duffle bag and made her way to the reception desk collecting the key that her team had already called ahead for. Taylor made her way up to the 14 th floor, excited and eager to surprise her boyfriend, little did she know that she was the one in for a bigger surprise.
After a good 5-minute walk from the elevator doors, she inserted the white key waiting for a click and its accompanying flashing green light. Taylor quietly opened the door, hoping not to wake Adam just yet but was surprised to see the main light on in the room. Gently closing the door behind her, she walked further into the room to reveal a sight she never hoped to see.
“Adam!?” she asked in shock and surprise.
There, on the bed was her boyfriend of just over a year on his back with brunette’s legs wrapped around him, naked.
“Taylor?” he said in complete surprise, trying to remove the girl who was bouncing on top of him.
“What the fuck Adam?!” Taylor’s voice was getting louder. “I loved you! How could you do this to me?” she asked while tears were running down her face.
“T I’m sorry,” he said while trying to grab his underwear. “I never meant to…”
Taylor scoffed, tears still flowing, “Never meant to what? Get caught!?” She shook her head.
The brunette began to move from her position on the bed, reaching for her clothes.
“No, don’t. You stay. I’ll leave,” Taylor said, wiping the tears off her face with the back of her hand.
Picking up her bag, she took one last look at Adam. Shaking her head again she spoke, “And after all that, I told you. How I felt, what I’ve gone through. For you to do this to me. I can’t believe you would stoop this low. If you wanted me out of your life, you could’ve just said it.”
Walking to the door, she didn’t look back. She didn’t want Adam to have the satisfaction of seeing her cry even more or how her heart was now broken into two. Slamming the door behind her, Taylor made her way to the elevator with her head held high.
I will not break down in this elevator. I will not break down in this elevator, was the mantra she said to herself over and over again.
In her hurry and daze, Taylor realised she hadn’t called her driver when she made it to the lobby. She was in too much pain to pick up her phone and wanting to get far away from the hotel as quickly as she could. It was at that moment, a London cab pulled up dropping guests. She made a b-line to the opened car door and placed her bag on the seat next to her.
“Where to miss?” the driver asked in his North London accent.
“I don’t know, just drive. Anywhere.” Taylor handed him $200 pounds.
The driver stared at her through the rear-view mirror, shrugged and started the engine.
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Sitting in the back of the taxi, Taylor thought about where she could go. She could get a room somewhere, that was always an option but she didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts. She needed a friend. A distraction. She mentally ran through all of the people she knew in London. Ed was currently on tour in Australia and Cara was walking some runway in Belgium. The only person she knew could potentially be in the same city was Harry.
Taylor gave the driver the address of what she hoped would be her final destination for the night. She considered texting him in the 35 minutes it would take for her to reach his place. They had become friends again in a way. They texted each other from time to time. Saw each other here or there. She knew that Harry would always be there for her and she would for him too. They didn’t talk much but the little speaking they did do, became even less when Taylor started dating Adam. She didn’t really understand why.
Pulling up at the house, she thanked the driver before handing him another $300 pounds.
“Thanks for this sir. Also sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused. I’d also really appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone about tonight.”
“No problem. I’ll take your secret to my grave.”
Taylor smiled at him, thanking him once more before exiting the cab. Walking the stone driveway, she was grateful to see lights on. She also hoped he didn’t have company. Or if he did, it was someone she knew. Taylor didn’t want to walk in on two people in one night. Tentatively knocking on the door, she waited for what felt like forever until it opened, revealing a shirtless Harry Styles with his hair up in a bun and a toothbrush in his hand.
“Taylor?”
“Hi,” she said quietly. Clearing her throat, she continued, “I’m really sorry to do this to you, and it’s late and unexpected…”
She began to ramble, which gave Harry the chance to look at her face. She had been crying. He knew what Taylor looked like after she was upset all too well. He was sometimes responsible for those tears.
“It’s ok,” he said, stopping her from rambling on further. He motioned for her to come inside. “Is everything ok? You look like you’ve been crying.”
“Is it that obvious?” she asked while dropping her bag in the corner.
“Not to everyone, but to me it is.”
Harry stared at her, he could tell she was trying to put on a brave face.
“Taylor, you know you can always talk to me, right? My guess is, you needed someone to talk to otherwise you would’ve found yourself a hotel room.”
She looked at him and gave a small chuckle trying to put on a brave face. However, it didn’t last long. She felt Harry’s green eyes knocking down her walls and began to cry again. Tears started streaming down her face again. Before she could say or move Harry was beside her, scooping her into his arm and holding her tightly. He felt her hot tears on his skin, running his hand up and down her back in an attempt to soothe her.
He didn’t expect that his night would turn out like this.
The tears begin to subside, she’s no longer shaking his arms.
“I walked in on Adam cheating on me,” she reveals by pulling away from the hug to look at his face.
“Tay,” he says in a whisper. He moves the hair that has fallen in front of her face behind her ear. “I’m so sorry.”
“He said he loved me you know. For him to go and do that! I mean, I gave him a hit single for goodness sake. I loved him and that’s how he repays me!” Taylor starts to shout out of anger and disgust about what happened. Harry heads over to his bar to make her an Old Fashioned in an attempt that it will calm her.
He hands her the drink and she downs it quickly.
“Thanks.” Taylor wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. She takes a seat on her couch and stares at the artwork on his wall. There’s silence between the two for a while.
“Thanks for letting me in,” she says. Her eyes had moved from the artwork to her fidgeting hands in her lap. “I just needed someone to talk to and I don’t know a distraction. I figured I shouldn’t be left alone with my thoughts in case I decide to do something stupid like wait for him to fall asleep and go back and chop his balls off.”
Harry chuckles at the mental image.
“It’s no drama, Taylor. You’re welcome here anytime. You are my friend after all.”
Taylor smiles at him. “Yes, that you are. And friends, don’t let friends drink alone at times like this.” She makes her way off the couch over to his bar to begin making a drink for both of them.
Harry laughs and watches from his spot of the couch. He notices that despite what she’s just been through, Taylor still looks beautiful. Her gorgeous face, beautiful blue eyes accompanied by her signature red lipstick she wore. He eyes the black dress she wears that was obviously meant for Adam’s eyes only. He notices the way it clings to her and how painfully thin she looks. She wasn’t the same Taylor he dated years ago. Granted, he wasn’t the same Harry. She seemed like a ghost of her past self.
Taylor makes her way over and hands him his drink. She holds it up to toast, “To friends being there for friends during shitty times”.
Their glasses clink and Harry took a sip before getting up to grab a shirt.
Taylor was a little disappointed at the view that had just disappeared.
“The bedroom is through there,” he said, pointing to the right of the corridor.
She shakes her head, “Harry, this is your house. I don’t expect to show up in the middle of the night and for you to sacrifice your bed for me. The couch is just fine.”
Harry looks at her and figures it’s best not to argue with her.
“Fine,” he says picking up his glass. “Just don’t complain to me in the morning when you have a sore back.
Taylor gestures a zip and locking a lock next to her mouth.
Harry laughs before he decides to get up and grab a beer for himself and a glass of red wine for Taylor.
She thanks him for the drink before he sets off down the hall and comes back with a scrabble board. Harry figures while she’s here, he might as well have a worthy Scrabble opponent.
They play well into the night in between making cocktails and light conversation. Taylor gets changed into a pair of sweatpants and borrows one of Harry’s many white t-shirts.
They fall asleep next to each other on the couch, with Harry’s arms wrapped tightly around Taylor. It’s the best sleep Harry’s had in months.
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The next morning Taylor extracts herself from Harry’s arms and makes breakfast as a thank you for letting her stay. Harry laughs when he wakes up, realising that it’s such a Taylor thing to do.
She makes arrangements for her driver to collect and take her to the jet, wanting to get home to the company of her cats and eating all the ice cream and chocolate she can find in her New York apartment.
“Thank you again, Harry,” she says while pulling away from another hug. “It means a lot.”
“I’m here anytime you need me. Remember that. After all, we’re friends.”
“Friends,” Taylor replied with a nod and smile on her face .
Harry watches the car until it’s no longer in sight.
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The two start to talk more and more as the days go by. Facetime video calls and text messages back and forth about anything and everything. From cats to music, Harry even facetimes her on the set of the movie he’s staring in.
“Am I going to see you up there winning an Academy Award one day?” Taylor asks while turning the camera around so he can see Olivia doing her classic Meerkat pose
“Ha. I don’t think so Tay but who knows.”
They talk the longest when they’re in a crisis. She vents to him about her problems with Tom. How her team is wanting them to make everything so public. Taylor’s ears are open anytime whenever he and current girlfriend are having dramas. They figure they’re the only two that truly understand what it’s like having their respective partners get thrust into the spotlight. Taylor was all too familiar with it while Harry experienced it himself during his career.
Meetups happen as much as they can, though they’re sparse. With constant traveling on Harry’s end to Taylor’s current reclusiveness from the media, it’s hard. The majority of the time it’s in London, usually hanging out with Ed and Cherry.
He’s one of the first to find out apart from Ed and Selena that she’s got a new boyfriend. Another English actor only this time he’s younger than her. Harry’s happy for her as much as he can be, his true feelings for her being pushed down as much as he can so they can remain friends. Harry came to the conclusion that he wanted Taylor in his life. If he had to have her only as a friend, then so be it.
Harry released his debut album and Taylor is the first to send him flowers and a congratulatory bottle of champagne. “I’m so proud of you,” the note read in her cursive handwriting. “ I always knew you could do it. P.S. Kiwi is a killer track.”
He shoots her a message thanking her for the gift. He never tells her outright that Two Ghosts and Woman were about her. It was self-explanatory.
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July 2018
Harry’s wearing a black Reputation Stadium Tour hoodie and jeans, standing the sound booth watching the crowd go wild at FedEx Field.
He hadn’t physically seen in her a while but that was normal for them. However, Taylor’s calls and sending of memes grew less frequent by the day. He thought nothing of it but it occasionally chewed at the back of his mind.
Taylor’s glowing all over, not just from the body glitter she has on nor from the thrill and adrenaline from performing on stage. She’s glowing just in general and notices how she’s filled out. No longer is she painfully thin but she looks like the Taylor he dated at 18 just a little older.
He heads backstage to see her, congratulating her on a fantastic show.
“Thanks Harry, I’m glad you came.” Taylor hugs him tightly. “Thanks for taking the time to come see the show. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to make it out to one of yours.”
“Not to worry love,” he responds while pulling away. Harry sees a blond haired man walking towards them.
The blond wraps his arms tightly around Taylor’s waist. “Great show tonight,” he says before giving her a chaste kiss to the lips.
“Thanks babe.” She turns to face Harry.
“Harry, I would like you to meet Joe. Joe this Harry.”
The two Englishman shake hands and exchange pleasantries.
“Nice to meet you, big fan of the movie you did,” Joe says with an awkward smile on her face.
“Thanks mate, nice to meet you too.”
Taylor thanks Harry again before giving Joe a quick kiss on the cheek before heading off to change for Rep Room. The two boys stand there awkwardly in the hallway backstage of the stadium before Harry’s phone buzzes telling him that his driver is here.
“Nice to meet you again,” he says before giving him another awkward handshake. “Tell Taylor I say bye and to enjoy the rest of her tour.”
“Will do.”
Harry can feel a set of eyes burn a hole in his back as he leaves.
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“She’s keeping the conversation to a minimum ‘cause it’s interfering with her relationship apparently.”
Ed tells him over a glass of whiskey.
“What do you mean interfering?”
Ed shrugs, setting down his glass. “Don’t know man. I’m guessing it’s more coming from Joe than from her.” Ed grabs the bottle of whiskey and starts pouring them both another drink. “She told me that she was happy when you started talking again. Despite knowing that you’re not responsible for her happiness, I know that you haven’t been happier since becoming friends with T again.”
“Well, it’s not my fault if he feels so insecure about his relationship that our friendship should impact it.”
Ed stares at him. “You are her ex, mate.”
Harry just sits there not knowing what to say. Ed was always the one friend they both shared that helped and understood their relationship. Ed was always in Harry’s corner but he would never admit it to Taylor.
“Who told you this?” he says sipping on a drink.
“Selena.”
Harry looks up in confusion. “Selena? Since when did you two start being all buddy buddy.”
“Well we always have been somewhat friends, but it was ‘because she was here with Niall the other day.”
“Wait. Selena and Niall?”
“Yep,” Ed responds, taking a sip from his drink and ignoring the cat brushing up against his feet.
“I’m not entirely sure what they are. I found it too awkward to ask.”
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Taylor doesn’t know what to do. The one person she would normally talk to about this was off limits, as it involved him. Taylor was a little heartbroken when Joe approached her after the night of the concert in the car to the hotel.
“I don’t really feel comfortable with you talking to him, to be honest.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s your ex, Tay. It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just…”
“You just what?” Taylor asked, a little annoyed.
“I don’t trust him. Look, you said it yourself when we talked about things early on when we were getting to know each other. He was a big part of your life and how am I supposed to know he’s not here trying to win you back?”
“Harry’s my friend Joe. What am I supposed to do?”
“I’m not asking you to not be his friend. Can you maybe keep the conversation light? Don’t go messaging him constantly and meeting up with me? Please? For me?”
Taylor stayed quiet for a moment before nodding her head. “Ok,” she replied quietly.
Joe kissed her on the cheek, “Thanks babe.”
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Taylor decided to confide in Selena. She thought about talking to Ed but figured he would have a more bias opinion with Harry being one of his best friends and all.
“I don’t know what to do Sel. I love Joe. I’m happy with him. But he’s asking me to do something big that doesn’t feel right.”
“Well, he’s not asking you to not be Harry’s friend T.”
Taylor switches the phone to her other ear.
“No, but he’s asking me to keep it a minimum. Harry and I don’t talk much to begin with. Just here and there, I send him a meme or a funny tumblr post about him on occasion. It’s not like I spend every night staying up late talking to him.”
Selena stays silent.
“It feels like he’s asking me to not be his friend without saying the words.”
Selena doesn’t respond.
“Come on, I know you. Spit it out Gomez. Give it to me straight.”
She hears Selena sigh. “Ok, I love you just know that. I also love that you’re happy and I love that Joe makes you happy. I mean he’s a great guy, got no doubt about it. I mean he’s holding the record for not getting in my bad books yet but…”
“Buuttttt…” Taylor responds trying to coax an answer out of her.
“I’ve always felt that guys shouldn’t dictate a girls life. I know from experience after everything happened with Justin. In my opinion, I don’t think Joe has the right to say who you’re friends with, who you’re not friends with and who you’re talking to. By all means, it’s not like you’re one of those crazy girls who constantly ask their boyfriends who they’re talking too and trying to read all their messages. He should pay you the same respect that you give him T. I mean if he asked you to not be friends with me, would you?”
Taylor remains silent.
“I think you have your answer babe.”
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Joe goes away for a week to promote his latest movie when Taylor has time to truly think.
She knows she shouldn’t throw away the wonderful thing she has with him over a friendship. A friendship with her ex. The one who inspired a whole album. The ex who she always felt like would be the one to run in and stop her wedding, whoever was up with the alter with her. Screaming out her name and asking to give him another chance. The guy who after all this time was still writing songs about her.
It was during her week alone that Taylor came to the realisation why Joe’s response hurt her so much. She loved Harry. Having him as a friend instead of a lover made it easier for her. No reason to get angry at him or no reason to doubt him. There were no obstacles in progressing their relationship further as there was nowhere to go. Taylor didn’t have to risk her heart being broken by the same hand twice by just being friends with Harry.
The real question was, was he worth taking the risk of having her heart shattered into a million pieces again?
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“We need to talk,” was how the message began that he received from Taylor at 2 am.
“I don’t know when I don’t know where but we need to talk. I’d rather do it face to face.”
He responded, “I’m in LA at the moment. I’ll be in New York next week.”
Harry figured she’d prefer to let him down and break their friendship in a more personal and polite way than just ghosting him altogether.
“Are you decent?” she sent back. Before he could respond he saw the white cloud of bubbles appear at the bottom of the screen. “‘Cause if you are, I’ll come over right now.”
Harry responded with a simple “ok” before getting up to grab a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.
Before he knew it, there was a knock at his door.
He turned on the lights on his way down the stairs, greeting her and letting Taylor enter.
She was the only person he knew who still managed to look presentable at 2 am in a Law and Order t-shirt and cat pajama pants.
“I’m sorry for kinda springing this on you.”
Harry shrugged, “It’s ok. If I recall, our favourite time to do stuff is either 2 am or midnight.”
Taylor laughed and smiled wide at him. Her smile causing a chain reaction on Harry’s face.
“You wanted to talk?”
“Yeah, um….”
She stood there awkwardly, not knowing where to start. She had it all planned out mentally but as she was standing in Harry’s living room, all words escaped her. “So first off, I’m sorry that I haven’t been speaking to you as much.”
Harry nodded, sensing the slight nervousness in her tone. “It’s ok.” He wanted to tell her he knew but didn’t want to rat out Ed or Selena.
“No, it’s not ok Harry.” Taylor took a seat on his couch while Harry decided to sit on the armrest.
“Joe asked me to kinda stop speaking to you. I guess he was worried about what might happen between us. He knew how much you meant to me and how our relationship was a big part of my life and help me define who I am today.” Harry stays silent while Taylor looks at the ground.
“I was honestly really hurt. I already kinda started to speak to you less when I started going out with him so he had nothing to feel insecure about, but I guess it didn’t really help.”
“So is this your way of apologising and telling me our friendship is over at the same time?” He asks, a little bitter. He honestly would’ve preferred a text.
She shakes her head, “Quite the opposite actually.” Taylor removes her eyes from the floor to Harry’s face.
“When Joe implied that I break our friendship, I didn’t understand why I was so hurt. I mean yeah ok I found it a little controlling. I never asked him to stop talking to people or checking his messages to see if he was talking to other girls. I realised that he shouldn’t really have much of a say on who I can and who I can’t talk to.”
“Well, I’m glad you came to that conclusion. For both our sakes. I’d miss my facetime chats with Olivia.”
Taylor smiles at him, “I also realised why it hurt so much.” She stands up from the couch and makes her way closer to where Harry is sitting.
“I realised that letting our friendship go meant a big part of who I am would disappear. Our relationship may have not worked out the first time but it made us into better people and I’m thankful for that.” She was in front of Harry, placing her hands around his neck she continued, “Having you as a friend was the next best thing to being in a relationship with you. We got everything apart from you know, the intimate parts, without having to worry about screwing up, what the media or fans thought or risk getting our hearts broken again.”
Harry looked up at her, “So what are you going to tell Joe?”
She stared into his green eyes, a small smile on her face. “I don’t have to tell Joe anything.”
Harry shook his head.
“Some people are worth the risk of having your heart broken for a second time.”
Harry stood, Taylor’s arms remained in place while he wrapped his around her middle.
“Do you mean?” he asked quietly, his forehead resting against hers.
Her blue eyes closed before nodding her head. “I love you Harry Styles. Always have, and always probably will.”
Harry smiled wide before leaning in to kiss her. His arms tightened around her waist while Taylor’s hands made their way into her hair. Pulling away, Harry finally responded, “I love you too Tay. After all, we come back every time.”
