maelstorm descent
(( this is an unbelievable au. just sit back, don’t question it and enjoy the ride - i think. )) (( for @syjaewon, mostly ))
serenity - med bay ,, early 2519
she frowns at the medic on her side, who’s giving her the strangest looks. as if she’s somehow wasting his time, as if he’s doing this medical check up for no reason. but she’s been feeling under the weather for a while now, and tired of the feeling to boot. she’s a mercenary, after all, there’s no way she can properly do her job if her legs are wobbly and her aim isn’t true. so why the guy is giving her this look, she doesn’t know.
that is, of course, until he opens his mouth and realisation strikes her like an electric shock. she’d already given up, after all, realised that maybe something they did to her or something about how long she waited had made it impossible by now for her to get what she wants. but apparently she was mistaken and apparently the medic is entirely confused about it himself.
not that she cares about him, his opinion or anyone else’s opinion. there’s been too many years spent on shooting people in the head or stabbing them in the back to still care about public opinion. or even any opinion at all. but still, there are a few people that should know, a few people she feels like she should tell, but one in particular.
she’s off the table and back in her clothes in record time, probably, blowing a kiss in the medic’s direction which only serves to make the confusion (or judgement?) on his face all the more obvious. but that doesn’t matter to her either as she makes her way through the ship at a dead run, narrowly rounding corners and barely avoiding other crew members as she goes. none of it matters, though, not when the euphoria courses through her veins like a drug of sorts.
she miraculously makes it to the helm without profusely pissing anyone off and doesn’t even seem to slow down the slightest as she launches herself at the man who turns to see what’s up. there’s a frown on his face - probably wondering who’s storming around his ship like a madwoman - which deepens to suspicion as she runs right at him, then clears into surprise when her intent becomes obvious.
arms wrapping themselves around jaewon’s neck, harper hugs him tight with the same bright smile still on her features, excitement and happiness the only two emotions currently in her system. and she doesn’t leave him questioning for long. can’t, what with how the excitement is thrumming in her veins, so the words leave her soon enough. “it worked.” she grins, chuckles, laughs, then exclaims again “it worked!”
serenity - mess hall ,, early 2518
“i don’t know...” she’s twirling her glass between her fingers, considering her options, eyeing the male opposite of her with something akin to interest. “sometimes i think i could. sometimes i think i want to. but who, you know? i don’t want to make things complicated with anyone.” she grins easily, that same old grin that is always used to not have to show any of the actual emotions that are coursing through her. jaewon’s face remains stone, as always, but she’s learned to see past the stone, through the cracks. she’s pretty sure he’s learned to do the same with her - to see what lies behind the grin or the flirtiness.
she breaks the silence again first, truly considering the option yet again. “i guess i could find a guy somewhere and give it a try, not tell him what the plan is. won’t be sticking around long enough for him to find out anyway.” she shrugs her shoulders lightly, then glances back down at her glass and pours the remainder of her drink down her throat. “ah well... we won’t go planetside for another few weeks, so plenty of time to think over what i’ll do.”
jaewon lets out some sort of noncommital hum which means he might be agreeing with her but doesn’t want to be encouraging her silly late-night ideas too much. she huffs out a smile at that, then sits up straighter to pour herself another drink. “to serenity,” is all she says when she raises her glass, and they both drink to that, of course.
serenity - harper’s quarters ,, early 2519
“you what!?” jaewon’s voice is a cannonball in the limited space of her quarters, only judgement spread over his features and harper is not impressed, but her body betrays her. she shies backwards, arms coming up protectively. not in front of her face, not outstretched to keep him at a distance, but curling around her middle, an extra protection layer to keep him from harming (purposefully or accidentally) her unborn child.
golden eyes catch the movement, of course, and his gaze tightens ever so slightly, something she presumes is surprise. she can’t blame him for it, she’s surprised herself. considering she only found out about twenty minutes ago that she’s actually pregnant and not afflicted by some sort of illness at all. it seems to be automatic, the way jaewon backs off a little, straightens, tries to soften the edges of his rock-like self. there’s no way he can be truly soft, after all, he’s explained this to her and she accepted it. but there’s softer than usual and harder than usual, and he’s trying his best to be the first right now.
not for her, though, no. she sees the way his gaze lingers on her abdomen too, as if still trying to figure out what to think of this quite recent development. then the eyes go back up to her face and the softer edge hardens again.
“what were you thinking?” this time his voice is not a canonball, but a softer, more lethal type of anger. directed at her stupidity. the stupidity of someone he expected more from. she sees it in his eyes, in the shift of his expression. just a tiny hint of something, but it makes all the difference. and half an hour ago she would have felt guilty, but now she straightens up again and squares her shoulders almost defiantly.
“i talked about this with you. you didn’t disagree,” she throws back at him, frowning now too.
“what you do with your own body is your own damn business,” is what she gets in reply, but she knows he’s not done yet. “what you do aboard my damn ship is my rutting business. what am i with a mercenary who can’t do her gorram job? what am i paying you for then?”
her eyes narrow, her own anger surges like a volcano about to explode. her fingers almost automatically curl to be able to make better use of her nails if necessary, her gaze hardens. she forces herself to stay in place. “fine then i’ll leave,” she bites, eyes temporarily shifting to the door before going back to jaewon. “i’ll pack my stuff and i’ll be off your damn boat when we reach zephyr next week. i’ll get you a list of decent mercenaries in the morning so you don’t have to worry about your pretty little boat!”
the crack in her voice surprises her so much it shuts her up, and when she does, she realises her eyes are starting to pool with tears. tears. the next second she’s basically running out of her own quarters to get away from him, from the entire discussion. she doesn’t cry. there’s no point in crying. and she doesn’t want to be sad either, this is not a day to be sad. she wants to laugh, to celebrate, to think of names and where to get clothes and other things like that.
half an hour later when she’s standing in the cargo bay throwing knives at a target, she wonders if she suffered a temporary bout of insanity earlier.
serenity - helm ,, early 2519
“i can still do my job,” she says, standing straight and proud and not backing down this time around. “at least four months more and after that you can hire someone else if you want. i’ll resign and i’ll become a passenger. i’ll pay you for safe passage through the verse.” her expression is neutral this time around, serious. no grins to hide anything else, not flirty comments to throw him off edge.
“i’m ariel born, after all,” she follows up her earlier words. “i’ll pay you handsomely for use of one of the passenger quarters on your ship. i don’t care where we go, i don’t care what jobs you take, i’ll just stay aboard the ship and out of your way.”
she can see it in his gaze, the way it once again shortly flickers down to her abdomen. there’s something stirring inside of him and she doesn’t know what, but it’s there. it’s almost tangible in the air between them and when he opens his mouth she’s almost certain he’s going to tell her that a smuggling ship is not a place to try and have or raise a baby. so she speaks before he can.
“i’m a mercenary. i’ve been a mercenary for over a decade. and not a nice one. i have enemies everywhere. this ship is the safest place for me to be.” she doesn’t plead, doesn’t try to convince him of her point by becoming soft or pliable. after all, she just told him she could be a mercenary for another four months at least. but she knows it’s a slim chance that he’ll take the risk. a slim chance that he won’t still kick her out on zephyr.
she doesn’t know what changes his mind, or why he makes the decision, but the nod opens the floodgates of relief inside of her. “you can stay.” he gives her a pointed look, makes sure she pays close attention to what he says next. “for now.”
serenity - mess hall ,, mid 2519
“i’m glad the morning sickness passed at least.” harper leans back in the chair with a relieved sigh. “that wasn’t fun.” a chuckle bubbles past her lips as she remembers the time they were on a mission, her part of the mercenary detail meant to protect the cargo. she’d aimed true, but had been unable to keep the sick down long enough for the fight to be over. one of their opponents had gotten the full load right in his face.
perhaps not one of those stories you tell anyone other than your girlfriends, but it had still been funny as shit and no harm had come to the cargo. she tries not to think of the months past in which jaewon has been considering and reconsidering to kick her off the boat after all. it’s not like she can’t understand what it does to him, to have to count on someone who’s nursing a new life inside of her belly, whose priorities might no longer be with his ship. but she feels like she’s convinced him now that she’ll go down fighting before she’ll let any harm come to the ship.
a small part of her wonders whether that’s exactly the thing that bothers him.
but it seems that by now they’ve come to some sort of agreement in which harper will become a passenger the second jaewon no longer approves of her work and will have to start paying him for the services rendered. he hasn’t taken advantage of it yet by demoting her to get a quicker pay, so she presumes he’s at least still somewhat content with her capabilities.
her gaze finds his as she picks up the glass of flavoured water and takes a sip. she makes a face almost instantly as she glances down at it. “this is honestly the hardest part of it,” she mutters in displease. “no more liquor for over a year. what shit.” she huffs, then empties the glass of water in one go before putting it back down on the table and getting comfortable in her chair. she’s starting to notice the differences now, the minor changes in her body, but she’s still more than capable of moving however she wants. she’s starting to dread the moment that becomes impossible, actually.
gazes meet again and she temporarily just takes in his features. he’s gazing at her with that unreadable expression of his, a mountain in the storm. she’s no longer phased by the roughness of him, that dangerous hint. it didn’t use to bother her before, but then it became a threat to her child’s wellbeing. by now, it almost feels like it will be the thing that might actually save her child, and so her expression shifts into a small but warm smile.
“you know, it’s your child too,” she tells him, and watches the way his gaze flickers with unspoken and unshown emotions. but she knows her words hit their mark by the way he seems to have trouble swallowing down his own drink properly. the smile widens into a little grin and she shrugs her shoulders lightly. “it’s going to be born on your ship,” she says almost offhandedly, then adds: “and everything on this ship is in some way, shape or form yours, isn’t it?”
the grin she shows him is met with clear displease, and she can’t help chuckling at it.
serenity - jaewon’s quarters ,, mid 2519
“it’s a girl.”
magical words. she knows because she remembers how she felt when they were spoken to her by the medic checking her over. harper breathes out a little hint of a smile, then reaches for jaewon’s hand. the captain would have refused to let her, probably, would have pulled away his hand. the man lets her take it, temporarily allows her and her shining eyes to share this moment of pure happiness with him.
of course she will tell mina later, and anyone else who inquires about it, but she wanted him to be the first to know. share this little bout of information with him first. just like she shared the pregnancy with him first. just like she shared the entire idea of having a child with him first. somehow over the last few months, jaewon has turned from her captain foremost into her friend first, captain second. and even though she’s not entirely sure if he agrees with that development, he’s not outright disagreeing either, so she’s just going with it.
“i should start thinking of a name.” she smiles up at him, beaming with enthusiasm and warmth and love for the little girl growing inside of her. the child that is starting to become more real with every passing day. no longer just a concept but an actual, living being growing and becoming inside of her. she puts her second hand on his as well and keeps the eye contact for a few moments longer.
“is there any name you like?”
serenity - kitchen ,, later 2519
there is no rationality left. only hunger. an all-consuming hunger. harper just craving food almost every second of every day, or that’s what it feels like. and if she’s not eating she’s making continuous trips to the bathroom trying not to pee her pants because apparently her bladder has suddenly turned into the size of a pea.
and people are being absolutely understanding of her strange whims and sudden cravings. not even the cook is complaining about her tendency to walk in and grab whatever she can find at random then disappear with it again. but then the cook has learned that lesson the hard way. the problem is the times when harper gets sudden extreme cravings for things that are nowhere to be found on board, like right this very second.
“i. don’t. care. am i paying you to take me across the verse or not?” her voice is becoming louder and louder, almost hysterical. jaewon is eyeing her with the face of someone who is three seconds away from throwing someone out the airlock. “i want you to dock on ariel next. i need peanut butter!” she shoves at his chest and he doesn’t even budge. and she feels so goddamn weak, not even capable of making people do her bidding anymore now.
it doesn’t even have a proper reason but suddenly her eyes are filled with tears and the next moment she’s sobbing against his chest as if someone just told her her entire family’s dead. not that that’s not something she hasn’t already known for a while now, but those are details that don’t quite matter. not when she’s sobbing so harshly one would think her entire life is going to end if she won’t get peanut butter.
useless. she feels useless.
and yet the magic of tears is proven to her when all of a sudden there is an awkward sort of pat on her shoulder that might also be a vague attempt at pushing her away slightly, but she doesn’t let go of jaewon’s middle, just stays buried against his chest. “okay, okay, we’ll get you your peanut butter,” are the reassuring words spoken to her, and all of a sudden it seems as if her chest feels lighter and the future is not as bleak as it was just five seconds ago.
“promise?” she lifts her head to look up at him with tear streaked cheeks and sniffs once, bringing up a hand to wipe at her nose.
the look on jaewon’s face can probably best be described as that of someone seeing a reaver for the first time with no way to defend themselves: pure horror combined with the certainty that they could be murdered any second now.
she gets her peanut butter eight days later.
shadow - some shitty town ,, later 2519
“if you so much as breathe in my direction again i will gauge your eyeballs out with a spoon and have them for dinner, you disgusting littl-”
“harper.”
she turns on her heels, chin already raised defiantly, angry gaze trying to find the person who interrupted her tirade, only to come to a stop on the captain’s features. eyebrows draw together in a frown, her outrage at being put in place in such a manner already broiling inside of her.
but of course steel is met with steel, jaewon’s gaze as cold - if not colder - than her own, his exhasperation becoming clear in the way his muscles are tenser than usual.
“didn’t i hear you say you would stay aboard the ship?”
she opens her mouth to protest, but he’s right and she knows he’s right, so eventually only a spluttering sound comes out before she closes her mouth again, then frowns more heavily in defeat.
“i was hungry!” she states grumpily after a moment of silence, bearing her teeth once more at the guy she’d been cussing at moments before - who still didn’t get the hint to leave her the hell alone. “and i heard shadow has some of the best local specialties that anyone should try. i’m part of anyone, so i should be allowed to try them!” there’s a moment of silence between them in which jaewon’s expression is telling her how much he’s considering murdering her right there and leaving her body for anyone to find.
“besides, we were out of ketchup.”
his mouth instantly tightens with that hint of disgust he always shows whenever she speaks of her most craved delicacy: protein bars with ketchup. and she can’t really blame him, it sounds like the most disgusting thing ever, but it tastes so gorram great and that’s not really her fault at all. she can’t help herself and starts to grin at jaewon, which only serves to make his jaw tighten as well and a few words to be thrown her way before he turns away.
“we’re leaving.”
serenity - mess hall ,, late 2519
"i’m a whale.”
her words are met with complete silence, but she doesn’t try to look over at where the captain’s seated in his chair with a drink in hand. mostly because she’s too damn jealous of his drink, but also because she doesn’t want to know what kind of ‘so done with your shit’ expression he’s currently wearing.
“a beached whale.”
she heaves a deep sigh, one hand on her stomach as she slowly pushes herself up from the chair to walk over to the table so she can fetch herself another glass of flavoured water. a few sounds of discomfort accompany the movement, as well as a few groans of displease at how big her stomach has become and how swollen her feet. and the discomfort doesn’t even really let up when she’s capable of sinking back down in the armchair with a deep sigh.
“at least you’re a beached whale that doesn’t require peanut butter anymore.”
for a second there, she’s almost certain she heard wrong, especially because of the completely unchanged expression on jaewon’s face. but then she snorts, before throwing one of her supporting pillows right at him. the next moment she’s laughing, loud and clear, leaning back in the chair as the mirthful sounds course through her and roll out through her parted lips.
“you’re an ass,” she tells the captain with a grin on her face, then blows him a kiss that he pretends not to even notice. “i don’t even know why i bother spending time with you.”
but she does, though.
serenity - cargo bay ,, early 2526
“careful with that.”
the words are spoken in a harsher tone of voice, but the little girl climbing atop a pile of crates pays it almost no mind. there’s a bright grin on her features, a happiness radiating off of her that is not tempered by the stern tower of a man overlooking her playtime. a small locket dangles around her neck, solid gold, nearly indistructible.
once the girl is atop the pile of cargo, she stretches out her arms on each side and focuses her gaze on the other pile of crates several long steps away.
“i’m going to fly, baba!”
knees bend, the girl’s intentions become more than clear enough and then she jumps.
two hands catch her around her middle and carry her through the air, all the way to the other crates. the girl’s happy giggles fill the cargo bay, and as soon as her feet stand on solid footing again, she turns around.
“again!”
boros - a smaller hospital ,, late 2519
“it’s a girl.”
there’s a piece of oker coloured cloth in the nurse’s arms, which is easily pushed into jaewon’s the second the woman reaches him. two big, brown eyes peer up at him from a well-rounded face, tiny little fingers gripping at nothing, an even more minuscule tongue moving like it’s got work to do.
“we’re going to need you to fill out the rest, sir.”
there’s a device held out in front of him, something about parental lineage of a recently born girl by name of ‘yala.’ a vague rose colour shows a thumb print on the maternal side, along with a simple word.
“you are the father, yes?”
his eyes cling on to the single word, no expression on his face, no sign of how he feels about the entire ordeal. eventually, he breathes out a slow breath, glances down at the tiny face again, then up at the nurse.
deceased.
“yes.”
