#system mod teal

[the-skybrary]

Can I talk for a second about how difficult it is to actually unlearn dissociative behavior?

Because last night I was feeling so upset about something and I was trying to cry about it, or let myself cry about it, and every fucking time I just got shut off. Brain automatically rewired to think about something else, or switch out with someone who wasn't upset and pacify me to the back of consciousness. It's like! I have to really force myself to feel my feelings and sometimes it doesn't even work.

I want to grieve, I want to heal, I want to get better, but I physically cannot. I am being stopped from experiencing my own emotions because my brain has been so strictly conditioned to Not Do That. It's incredibly frustrating.

[the-skybrary]

when certain songs involuntarily cause a switch bc it's by that alter's favorite band/artist

[the-skybrary]

Plural culture is being awake at 1am after trying to fall asleep for three hours justaying there in the dark, miserable because of a headache, and then a protector/caregiver comes stomping up to front and grabs body like "Take the FUCKING IBUPROFEN, YOU IDIOT!!!"

[the-skybrary]

There is such a fine line between safely interacting with a fictive who heavily associates to source material, and enabling negative coping mechanisms that only worsen the dissociation for the system. You have to be so, so careful, guys.

[the-skybrary]

funny interaction with my non-plural/singlet friend the other day was when we were telling her how some of us were reacting to a situation earlier that day, and she asked how a specific member that's she close to reacted. And when we told her "oh, he wasn't around, he's probably sleeping" she found that to be utterly 'adorable'? Like, she found the concept that others are able to sleep and take naps while the rest of body is awake to be super endearing, and it wasn't something she knew of to be a thing before.

Which is silly to us bc its completely normal and a thing we don't ever really think much about? like, yeah, some headmates sleep when we aren't around front, that's common sense to us. But to her it was brand new info and broadened her understanding of how we function. She thought it was sweet in a way that showcased how we all sorta took care of each other, like while he was sleeping and taking a break, we're piloting things and keeping body going. She saw it as a team effort thing and that was endearing to her.

idk it was kinda nice to get a bit of outside perspective on that in a really positive way

[the-skybrary]

Wondering if we'll ever meet someone who's gonna love us and accept us as we are. As a person with OSDD, as a person who is actually multiple people, who all have their own unique thoughts and feelings and emotions and interests and fears. Wondering if someone could fall in love with all of us, at least to some degree.