about. tohru is, most certainly, not being paid enough for putting up with her members
“that’s it. i’ve had enough,” with a solemn gesture, and her will to live nowhere to be seen, arrow primly places her pencil between the pages of her notebook and pushes it with the tip of her fingers, as if she was dealing with some sort of highly contagious and inminent plague. “it was a fun ride with you guys but i’m quitting school.”
"you won’t be doing such thing, arrow,” tohru, who doesn’t even bother into taking her eyes off her own textbook, slowly slides arrow’s notebook right back to her. “now stop your tomfoolery and get over with the dang essay, jesus.”
“i’m going to die.”
and she procceds to plop over the small table and break down in what seems to be a sorrowful keyboard smash. almost automatically, tohru rolls her eyes.
"give her a break, unnie,” after having to remain silent for longer than she’s used to, yeji decides she can allow herself to disregard her own homework for a second and stick her nose into arrow and tohru’s bussiness, an absolute shit-eating grin drawn all over her pretty face. “she has way too much on her plate for her only braincell to handle.”
“i mean,” of course, jules has to butt in as well. “arrow unnie can barely read or write in thailand, i don’t know what makes you think she can do a 3 pages essay in korean.”
yeji can’t stifle a cackle, and when jules mindlessly raises a hand, she inmediatly highfives back. fucking brats.
“oh my god why you guys only get along when it comes to shit on me?” arrow, presumably over with her mental breakdown, now gasps dramatically with a hand above her chest. “it is that people’s suffering is the only way to bring you two closer?”
“okay, close is an overstatement,” jules points out, criptidly. “we’re just having fun at your expense.”
however, and for whatever reason, yeji’s gaze softens when her eyes meet jules’ and then places a hand over her shoulders, perhaps too fondly, before regarding to arrow. “she’s shy.”
“fuck off.”
it’s so in character of them, tohru can almost bask onto the homeliness of the situation. arrow whining and purposely being the comedic relief character she’s asigned herself to be in order to shy reality away and consequently the essay she procrastinated throughout the whole week, yeji and jules picking on her negative count of braincells at best and aiming for each other’s throats at worst, and tohru parenting on the three of them, as the designated mom friend and braincell-holder she was. it’s too easy, tohru muses, to fall back into routine... but duty calls, and homework wasn’t getting anywhere near to be finished, as far as she was concerned.
“ok, you two, enough with the bullying,” tohru chides, vehemently tapping her own pen to the table. “go back to your... what on earth are you doing?”
the youngests raise their brows (in a conspicuos, perfect sync), yet they don’t falter to exchange their exercise sheets with each other.
“uh, copying answers?” jules makes it sounds like she just asked the most idiotic thing ever.
“i did the first three pages and jules did the other three remaining.” yeji explains on their behalf. “it’s a strategic move. teamwork makes dreamwork... don’t give me that look, unnie. my pride is bruised enough for having to rely on jules, don’t do this to me.”
but tohru knows better, and just opts to let her disgust be known with a morose, prolongued sigh before burying her head back into her own books. she doesn’t fails to notice arrow growing impatient in her seat, though.
“toohru...”
“no.”
“i didn’t even say anything!”
“you need to do the essay, arrow, and that’s non-negotiable,” tohru condemns.
“but korean is too hard!" please, tohru knows how fucked up korean is. hangul wasn’t giving her the kindest time, either. “and i’m too dumb! maybe if i just... don’t...”
“you’ve pulled that stunt so many times already, arrow,” tohru doesn’t caves in. just for whose sake she’s being so unreleting, to begin with? “and you can’t afford you grades getting any lower than this.”
“damn, you really be calling me and my low ass gpa like that, huh...” unavoidably, arrow pouts. “i don’t even know what’s the big deal. i’m going to be your personal freeloader once we graduate, anyways.”
tohru blinks, and there’s a crack on her deadpan that lasts half of a second, “i... i fail to remember when we agreed to that.”
“weren’t you goint to marry me and give me belly rubs for the rest of our lifes?”
“that is, most likely, not happening—”
“wait, so now we’re living off tohru unnie like roaches?” yeji suddenly seems interested in the conversation. “i like the plan.”
“why are you guys suddenly into the ‘plan’?” tohru is not even sure where the whole thing is heading. and to be honest? she was past to care.
“look, i’m just saying that if you’re paying for arrow’s taxes then you’re paying for all our taxes,” yeji states, so matter of factly it makes tohru rolls her eyes for what feels like the millionth time. “we’re together in this shit for life, unnie.”
“oh my god,” jules snorts. “you guys are just not coaxing tohru unnie into being your sugar mommy, are you?”
tohru’s face finally breaks into utter indignation, while yeji and arrow seem to be bubbling with excitement.
“s-spare bank account?”
god, they’re the actual worst. “next person putting ‘sugar mommy’ and my name in the same sentence is getting hydrofluoric acid in their dinner.”
any hint of a conversation dies from that point on. at the end of the day, tohru found herself forced to assist arrow with the damn essay.
She scowls and insists that
I shouldn’t call her the cream to my coffee,
but
I really love cream
and I spot the hint of a smile
as she takes our empty cups away.
She’s softer than she looks.
Yet she lets me be
the pep to her talk,
the swag to her walk.
I don’t like dancing, but
I’ll lead her into battle
against the Grimm on the outside
and,
now that she trusts me,
the Grimm on the inside.
The spear tears through her,
but I feel it,
metal in her blood and mine.
Her mouth gapes, but
I’m the one who screams.
I am red like fear,
red like determination,
red like–
her soft blush
during our early mornings.
I’m still waiting for the best rose to give her,
and now
she rests in my lap,
glowing, eyes closed.
It still hurts
and I’m keen on never reliving
that day which rendered my comfort
to dust.
Frozen days feel warmer when it snows,
so may she keep drifting back to me
in gentle flurries.
I silently beg of every power in this world and
she awakens.
She can scowl all she wants.
I’ll still make sure she knows that
she’s the cream to my coffee
because any day
vines might choke our smiles.
Heeeyy, if you like my poetry, please consider picking up my poetry collection Forgive Us Our Trespasses. Thanks!
After a couple months of formatting, troubleshooting, and coordinating with my fantastic cover designer @thedailyfootnote, I’ve finally finished putting together the paperback for my poetry collection!
Ever since I published the book, people have been constantly asking me for a paperback option! It was silly of me to think there wouldn’t be demand for it given the popularity of ebooks and how like two people on the Internet know who I am lol, but I’ve seen the error of my ways and I’m stoked to be able to offer a paperback option for readers!
The paperback is in full color and is $14.99 on Amazon. PLEASE BUY IT. And if you enjoy it, please rate and review it on Amazon and Goodreads!
In honor of Labor Day, here’s a poem from my upcoming blackout poetry collection Forgive Us Our Trespasses.
The Gospel of the Laborers in the Vineyard
so we believe less
and hope for absolute grace
perfect justice returns us to
the same God
always indicating the ascension
we picture something like
“talent”
in every one used for
the advancement of our unbelief
On 10/3/17, my first poetry collection will be published! It’s a blackout called Forgive Us Our Trespasses. For those who are unfamiliar with it, blackout poetry is a form of found poetry where you take a pre-existing text, block off certain words, and erase, cover up, or otherwise get rid of the rest.
Using an old theology book as the source text, this poetry collection blends peace, joy, sorrow, and bittersweet relief.
Here’s a preorder link.
The three BEST ways to support me:
1) Buy the book.
2) Review and rate the book.
3) Tell others about the book.
Wanna see a sample poem? Check out my blog announcement!
If it is written that
“You abide in me, and I in you,”
then surely all those who praise your name
and lean on your everlasting arms
see your face in the faces of the waiting for whom
reality changed in mid-flight, overnight.
Blessed are the [fill in the blank],
with the blank honestly meaning one hundred new things when our newsfeeds
refresh.
Rapid fire declarations call for rapid fire affirmations,
so our beatitudes are infinite, yet they all start
in the same way.
Blessed are the [write it].
Blessed are the [sing it].
Blessed are the [draw it].
And when we’re all done, let’s go
down in the river to pray.
I turned
vexed at the interruption
Carmilla, how can you tell me you are happier when
you trouble my head about dying
Tell me nothing about ghosts
sit close
hold my hand
I tremble all over
breathlessly tugging
“Hold me, hold me still.”
she became like a summer cloud
a momentary wanderer who
dressed in black and carried a magic lantern
we were stitched together with great masks
attached to our grotesque compliments
We have been very old friends of God’s mercy
I hope the vengeance of Heaven upon everything
that diverges from the Karnstein promise
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
With all my heart
I look forward to Aladdin’s lamp
and fireworks and music
perhaps the world could
throw a rosy light from its early youth on you
so I can wear a mask in the evening
and not question whether she was really watching
