seven minutes (in hell) with you
When Taehyung takes his first step into his future home, he is hit with a powerful and painful wave of nostalgia.
Jeongguk had Hoseok text Taehyung to come and see the apartment that he’d be moving into before they needed to sign the lease and he hastily agreed. He isn’t that interested in checking the place out, already knowing that hundreds of students must have their eyes set on the place like vultures on dead meat. Paradise apartments are known for being pretty and well-managed but he supposes it’ll look good if people saw him going to Jeongguk’s place. Legitimize this newly sprung-on relationship some more.
So he got ready, moved his check-in date to an earlier time and had his mom’s assistant put some things on hold for him for later. He dons his pleated white pants, a cream colored shirt and a yellow sweater vest. Pearls on his wrist and neck along with a delicate gold chain with a flower pendant. His hair looked messy enough where his curls fell naturally over his forehead. Looking perfect as always.
But his peaceful morning turned rough fast with some lovely texts from Doeun.
Taehyung played nicely, despite wanting to rip the little shit’s head off by reaching through his phone speaker. He’s constantly popping up at the worst fucking times. Just when Taehyung thinks he can pull his head up out of the water to breathe, Doeun is tugging him back down, filling his lungs with the liquid instead.
i need to see you right now
more than enough time then
He curls his fingers into his palm, trying not to lose his shit so early in the morning.
Doeun isn’t going to leave him alone that easily. It'll take a crowbar to wrench that leech off him but that’s only if he does it himself. Taehyung needs someone that can take him down.
He’s hoping that Jeongguk can help.
i can only see you after class
besides, we can’t be doing that anymore.
He has Jae now. He doesn’t need Taehyung. He shouldn’t need him.
i know that. why do you think we haven’t done it in a month?
don’t try to be smart with me taehyung
you’re pretty so let’s just stick with that okay?
Taehyung doesn’t respond. He wants to chuck his phone out the window and watch it get run over by a semi-truck then change his name and hide for the rest of his life. He’s never hated someone this much until now. A simple text can flip his mood to a completely different end of the spectrum. The sheer sight of the guy catapults him into the heaviest state of anxiety.
He was such an idiot this summer. A careless idiot with no idea how much he’d fuck things up later on, only caring about sex and fun. Now it feels like everyone else is picking up after his mess.
But Taehyung doesn’t know what else he can do to get Doeun to lay off. Every time he meets up with him, there’s another thing he has to do. It’s just a constant cycle of favors and he’s completely fed up with it. He has to get Jeongguk to help. Maybe intimidate him or something since he’s got some muscle now. His dad could also help since he’s a law professor and all. Something, literally anything, would be of great help.
A ten minute drive later and Taehyung is dropped outside the building which stands tall and luxurious, similar to most modern highrise apartments in Seoul with clean windows and white exteriors. The parking garage starts on the ground floor where people park their fancy cars and motorbikes before going further underground. Taehyung thinks he spots Jeongguk’s Mercedes among the slew of Porsches and Audis. It leads into the main lobby where people come in by punching a unique code. Jeongguk did him the favor of texting it to him.
0613. The door unlocks and Taehyung enters the lobby. It’s just as majestic as he’d imagined, with marble floors and pillars. There’s no one at the front desk, just an empty hall with some elevators and a door for stairs. The walls are stark white and the floors are made of pristine black and white tiles laid out in a simple pattern. A map is hung on the wall which tells him about all the amenities offered in the building. The air smelled a little lemony from cleaning products. There’s a rec room and an indoor pool along with a spa and a study room down the hall for students to use. If Taehyung listened closely, he could hear people giggling in said rooms.
Quickly, he takes the elevator and gets onto the 2nd floor where Jeongguk’s apartment is. The elevator is nice, cold and empty. There’s a poster hanging on the left wall with phone numbers for the police and a sexual assault help line. The right side is a cheesy poster about peer pressure. It makes Taehyung snort to himself.
As much as you try to market things like alcohol and drugs as bad things to students, the more inclined they are to try them. Turns them curious.
When the door opens, he sees an empty hallway with rooms on either side. Some have placemats, some have doors with whiteboards or funny signs. Someone even hung a poster of IU as an angel on their door. But Jeongguk’s door is completely bare. Just a simple dark gray placemat outside and not a single drop of personality. Pretty much like him.
Taehyung rings the doorbell once and knocks, practicing his brightest smile to greet his brand new boyfriend. There’s not a single soul out here but who knows, maybe they’re staring at them through the peephole or hiding behind walls to study them. He wouldn’t be surprised if at least one person was tracking his every move ever since those pictures came out.
The door swings open a few seconds later and reveals a full mouthed Jeongguk chewing.
“Morning baby,” Taehyung grins and holds up a warm americano he picked up from the cafe in the lobby of his hotel. His body leans perfectly on the door frame, and his legs cross over delicately. “Had breakfast yet?”
Jeongguk looks back at him indifferently for a moment before rolling his eyes and ignoring both his greeting and his question, stepping to the side to let Taehyung in.
“You’re twenty minutes late.”
Jeongguk looks rather funny in the mornings. He’s always hated waking up early so his hair is still messy and his eyes bleary but his black oversized Balenciaga t-shirt and wide legged jeans really complete the disheveled emo-hobo gone chic core he’s got going on. His cologne wafts over to Taehyung, smells expensive and clean with notes of cotton and violets. Doesn’t fit his aesthetic but it strangely fits him. His eyelids are low and his lips are lighter and a little cracked without the slight tinted lip balm he always uses.
“It’s called being fashionably late, my darling,” he coos. Jeongguk snatches the drink from his hands with a low grumble and shuts the door behind him. When the self-lock clicks shut, Taehyung’s nice demeanor fades. “Okay, we really need to work on your acting skills.”
“No one is out right now.” Jeongguk turns his back to him, shaking out his hair.
“Someone could’ve been listening through the door,” he argues. “You’re such a fucking dumbass sometimes.” Taehyung’s head shakes. Jeongguk is way too lax about this entire thing!
He toes his shoes off and when he inhales he is hit in the stomach with something familiar that makes him pause. The apartment smells like those specific candles, the handmade ones you buy at expensive grocery stores made from the purest wax and real fragrance.
The kind that Jeongguk’s mother always used to buy.
His house always smelled like this fucking candle. There seemed to be one in every corner, lit with a crackling wick and scenting each room completely in its saturated, soft, flowery goodness.
Taehyung tries to swallow down bitter saliva when his brain throws a slew of memories at him like their back-to-back sleepovers where he’d be chasing Jeongguk around in his backyard while playing tag or going diving for “treasure” in his pool during the summers. Matcha cookies and pork grilled to perfection by Jeongguk’s dad after a long day in the water. He remembers movie nights on the floor of Jeongguk’s bedroom, turtle chips and cheese balls in the middle of the night, playing on each other’s DS for hours on end and sleeping next to each other on his bed until Taehyung would eventually give in and throw his arms around the younger because he needs to hold something to fall asleep.
It’s amazing how a scent can trigger such painfully sweet memories.
He shakes his head and looks to his side by the entrance. There’s a small shoe rack with pairs stacked neatly. Taehyung sets his loafers down next to a pair of chunky Prada boots then looks up at the younger, hoping that the painful twinges he’s currently experiencing aren’t obvious by his expression.
Jeongguk rolls his eyes, seated at the counter where barstools are lined underneath. He’s got a bowl of cereal and cut fruit laid out next to the to-go coffee cup. “Look, I don’t have time for your bullshit right now. I have class in a bit, I have to finish breakfast and we still need to drive to the housing office to sign the lease so you can move in before the line gets too long. So just look around or do whatever you have to do and quickly,” he waves him off, taking a bite of his corn flakes.
Ideally, he could walk away after getting scolded like an annoying child but no, Taehyung is not letting him get away with that. No one speaks to him this way.
“Only if you give me a tour.” His arms cross over his chest defiantly, raising a single eyebrow. Slowly, Jeongguk turns his head to his gaze and if looks could kill, Taehyung would be buried six feet under.
“Do your legs not work or something? Tour it yourself.”
He ignores the sting in his chest. “As a future rent payer, I demand a tour.” He balances on the balls of his feet, looking oh-so innocent with the straw of his half-empty watermelon juice between his pink lips. “It’s the least you could do for me after I saved your ass back there with Jae.”
It’s not like he really needs a tour but he needs to establish the relationship here. Or, re-establish. Taehyung is older (born a year before in December) and he came up with this entire idea of fake dating so Jeongguk, being the younger one, should be grateful and stop being a little shit by giving him a tour. Paying him back and all that, you know?
His eyes flash with anger. “I didn’t ask for–” he stops himself and clenches his eyes shut for a moment before letting out a pinched, shaky exhale. “Fine, I’ll give you a stupid fucking tour.” Jeongguk glares at him.
Although Taehyung is so curious as to what he was going to say. You didn’t ask for what?
Didn’t ask to be in a fake relationship with me?
Jeongguk gets up, taking his bowl in his hand, and mutters under his breath about wanting to end it all before starting.“This is the kitchen,” he lists in a monotone, pointing to the open kitchen with rustic wood cabinets and cream marble countertops. There’s a rice cooker, air fryer and a French press lined against the gray tile backsplash lit up by white LED lights under the cabinets but besides that, spotless. No pans on the induction stove, not even a mug in the sink. A microwave above the oven and right next to that is an impressively large fridge. There’s that offensive lit candle next to the sink across the stove. Since there’s no dining table, the counter raised above the sink has ample eating space and barstools lined underneath the extended counter for eating space.
Across from there is a small open living room with a window facing the street and another candle on the coffee table, unlit this time.
“Couch, fake plant, tv, coffee table,” he points to each for a second before moving on, tone so miserable Taehyung genuinely enjoys it. .
He notes the coffee brown couch and the matching wood grain coffee table with a tv remote, some more unlit candles, a pack of cards and an airpod case charging. Across from that is a regular sized TV on top of a stand and a fake fern next to it.
Under the coffee table are various wicker and cloth baskets with things inside that Taehyung has yet to learn about. The entertainment stand has a Playstation and a few games and movies lined neatly in the storage cabinets.
There are two hallways on either side of the kitchen. Jeongguk points to the left one where a closed room lies at the end. “My bedroom.” There’s another door closer to the kitchen but on the adjacent wall of the left hallway. “In-unit washer and dryer. Your room will be on the right side of the kitchen.”
So we’ll be divided? Meaning Taehyung will live in his own world in his own room without even thinking about Jeongguk? Not that he gives a shit, but how was this even considered for him and Jae, a couple supposedly living together?
Jeongguk points to the right hallway where there’s a room at the end of the hall and another one on the wall. He gestures for Taehyung to walk behind him. Begrudgingly, he does so.
“You know, the lack of decoration in here is giving you serious serial killer vibes.” The pale white is making him sick. “Couldn’t you have hung up a poster or a polaroid of your friends? It’s like you have no personality.” Taehyung points a finger to the bare drywall, dragging it along the prickly walls. He wonders what happened to the old Jeongguk who used to get a new obsession every week, from different girl groups to a new anime.
“I’ll buy some later.” Jeongguk waves off, shoveling more soggy cereal to his lips. “And here is your room.”
The doorknob untwists and Jeongguk moves out of the way, pressing his back to the adjacent wall so he can eat in peace.
Taehyung steps in. It's a college apartment so it comes furnished with a bed and a mattress, a nightstand, a chair and a desk. There’s an en suite bathroom and a walk-in closet that are decent in size. His walls are the same eggshell white with an AC vent and overhead lights hanging in a set of four. This is the only room devoid of that smell from the candles and Taehyung takes a deep breath in to clear his mind.
He tries to visualize it. His sage green sheets and cream pillows. Posters and art pieces hung on the wall, pictures of his friends littered across. He could get a calendar and tape it above his desk and by organizers for his school stuff and keep his tennis gear in a corner. Maybe buy a space heater in the winter so his room can become the ultimate cabin when it’s snowing outside.
This will work. Sure, it’s nothing compared to the size of his room at Josun Palace but he doesn’t need much.
At the very least, it’s a home. It’s something he can come back to, a constant. Not a lifeless hotel room nor will it require a heavy drive through Seoul traffic. It’s his own little spot for him at school, a place where he can be himself unapologetically.
He turns around to find Jeongguk now leaning against the frame, chugging the last of his milk so the veins in his neck and Adam’s apple move. His neck bends back and he swallows the last of his breakfast with spots of creamy white on his lips before wiping it off with the back of his hand. Quirking a brow, he waits for Taehyung’s opinion on the place. Taehyung’s heart weirdly speeds up for a moment.
“I like it,” he nods. Jeongguk’s hand dangles by his thigh and Taehyung can see a silver Rolex around his wrist.
“Perfect. Let’s go to the housing office then.” Jeongguk nods to the kitchen and turns around before Taehyung even takes his first step, giving him a few of his back and the back of his head. Curls swishing with his movement, shining in the streams of light coming in all directions.
He gets this inexplicable urge to run his fingers through it but Taehyung pushes it down the moment it pops up.
On the way out there’s another unmentioned closet in the hallway just before the main kitchen/living room area that Taehyung pulls open curiously which Jeongguk doesn’t notice. Part of him was expecting something crazy like for it to be his sex dungeon or weapon storage for when the apocalypse finally happens. All he finds is a vacuum, a broom and a Swiffer along with some cleaning products and refill packs.
Boring. He closes it with a disappointed pout but it raises a question for Taehyung.
“By the way, how often does your maid come by?” He stops closer to the younger than before who sits and starts on his bowl of apples. “And what about a personal chef or do you just order in every time?”
Since Paradise has a higher rent compared to dorms or commuting from home, Taehyung assumed Jeongguk would be living life similar to his life in Gangnam: with all of his amenities provided for him. That’s how they grew up after all. Never having to lift a finger without someone rushing to help. Most of the people they know have never scrubbed a dish or vacuumed the floor in their entire life.
Taehyung swears he sees the side of Jeongguk’s cheek perk up almost fondly at his question.
“Well, you’re looking at my personal maid and chef,” his finger presses to his chest. “Although I hate to break it to you, I only work for Mr. Jeon.” Jeongguk fakes an awkward wince to go along with his bit. “Sorry about that.”
Taehyung’s fuse begins to shorten at the taunt. “You’re not hiring any helpers?”
He’s shocked. It’s not like his parents don’t have the money for it. His mother’s makeup company couldn’t be doing better. His dad got tenure at SNU after only three years since leaving a very prestigious law firm. They should be bathing in cash. He should be sneezing into ₩500 bills instead of tissues.
But Jeongguk just scoffs at him like he’s a stupid little child. “It’s a two-bedroom apartment, I think I can handle taking care of it and myself,” he plops one of the apple slices into his mouth and chews with his mouth closed politely. “You can hire them if you want but they should only worry about you and your shit.”
Does he think Taehyung is not capable of cleaning and cooking for himself? “I can handle this on my own too, you know,” he argues back. Taehyung isn’t an idiot. How hard must this be anyways? He’s an adult and millions of people live alone. Yoongi and Jimin survive. “I won’t hire one if you aren’t,” he declares, only to prove a point.
Although his mother would be particularly proud of this statement, Taehyung doesn’t know much about how to take care of an apartment or cook anything other than instant ramen.
But like he said, the internet is free so he’ll pick it up in no time and not make a fool of himself in front of Jeongguk.
“Fine with me.” Jeongguk shrugs. A moment of silence lulls the conversation. Jeongguk pops another apple in his mouth and his crunching breaks the silence in the air. Taehyung looks out the window to take his mind off the noise, studying the various people walking along the lined path to the bus stop while bike riders occupy the right lane. Then he looks at that stupid candle briefly before jumping back to the wicker baskets shelved under the coffee table.
One has controllers, remotes, four karaoke mics and extra batteries while the other has lighters, coasters and a pack of disinfecting wipes.
What are those mics for? Jeongguk hates karaoke. Taehyung used to have to drag him to the booths and force an IU or Red Velvet song on him. Now he does it on his own?
Who are you and what have you done with my Jeongguk?
Taehyung almost asks when he turns to look back at him but he stops when their gazes meet.
There’s apprehension in Jeongguk’s eyes. As if the cold front he’s been displaying ever since the party cracks in the middle just a bit, revealing that familiar pensive look. He watches Taehyung carefully from where he sits, eyes dancing all over his body and face, and it drives him insane as much as it causes all of his muscles to stiffen.
“Spit it out,” Taehyung scoffs, holding a hand out so he can have a piece of apple too.
Jeongguk places one in his hand softly, wet and cold. “Do you really want to do this? Like, live with me of all people?”
There was once a time when Taehyung and Jeongguk made plans to buy a vacation home together. Back when his parents first divorced and he was sad, Jeongguk promised to make him happy by buying him a home in the nicest place possible so they could escape there whenever they were sad. Taehyung perked up a little at that. A spot for him and his best friend where nothing else mattered but them. Where they could run away from all of the demands of their current life and just have fun.
When you’re 8, empty promises like that mean so much.
And now, here they are. Jeongguk is renting an apartment at their university and Taehyung gets to live here even though he wasn’t the first choice. That happy shiny dream of living together was smashed into smithereens a while ago and now it feels like the perfect opportunity to piece it back together slowly. A second chance.
Would eight-year-old Taehyung be happy with how things turned out? Would he be happy once he learned what he did to Jeongguk five years later?
“There’s no backing out now, Jeon.” His voice comes out gruffer than he would like. He needs to push out that guilty feeling building up in his chest. He did it. There’s no going back. “Had I known someone else with an empty room I could take, I would’ve said their name instead of yours but I don’t. This has nothing to do with our past. I don’t care about it so you shouldn’t either, okay?”
It’s a lie. A big fat fucking lie.
Not a day goes by where he wishes he could switch back to how they used to be or go back in time to stop himself from ending everything but he doesn’t know how and there’s nothing he can do about it. There were nights when he wondered what Jeongguk was doing, old inside jokes reappearing that make him laugh inexplicably but no one would get, every time he saw matcha cookies and played Mario Kart. Taehyung realized how his childhood was interwoven with Jeongguk’s where every warm memory brought up a pair of curiously wide eyes and a soft laugh.
But what can he do? There’s no way Jeongguk would actually want him back in his life again, especially now that he’s found better friends.
And he’s gotten used to life without Jeongguk, filling the empty canyon inside of his heart with other things and people in hopes that they would feel somewhat similar. All of their closeness has melted away, leaving the awkwardness and nothing else.
The apple in his hand weighs heavy. Taehyung takes a bite and the cold sweetness meets his teeth, juices flooding his mouth. It tastes good but there is the onset of regret flooding his system that spoils it.
Jeongguk’s gaze hardens quickly. That momentary vulnerability that showed for just a few seconds is gone and replaced with his emotionless stare and set eyebrows. Gone, poof, disappeared, and he’s back to being an impenetrable wall. He turns to the side and swallows shakily.
“Fine, I won’t.” He snatches his bowl closer to him and gets up from the stool. “The housing center opened about 30 minutes ago so there shouldn’t be too much of a line. I just need to grab my stuff first and then we’ll go.” He’s detached when he talks, emotionless and quiet.
Jeongguk is already walking away before Taehyung can respond. His body retreats back to his room at the end of the hall and when the door shuts, the silence rings in Taehyung’s ear.
Now it’s just him and the scent of that fucking candle.
He shakes his head and walks over to the trash can to dispose of his plastic cup. Taehyung’s mind runs a mile a minute. Doeun, tennis team, Jimin and Yoongi, Instagram, Jeongguk, school, his followers, his mom and step-dad. How much longer can he juggle everything on his own?
The facade of perfect It-Boy Kim Taehyung that he’s been building since his first tabloid appearance will shatter the moment he’s weak and everyone comes to know about his fake relationship and about what happened with Doeun.
Taehyung doesn’t want to wait for that day. Everything he does is all part of a plan. Meticulously, thought out after yesterday. He’s going to fake date Jeongguk, get Doeun off his back, play a great season of tennis, pass his classes and hang out with his friends and family all in one go. He just has to work a bit harder at it. That’s all.
And more importantly, he has to stop thinking about his past with Jeongguk. It’s dead, over, caputze.
The trash bin automatically closes shut and he walks away but not before blowing the flickering candle flame that’s been poisoning his mind out.
“Okay, your car is really fucking nice.”
Taehyung practically melts into the buttery black leather seats like he’s becoming one with the damn thing, feeling the warmers do wonders on his frozen skin thanks to the AC being on full blast at the housing office. He’s seen Jeongguk’s car before, in the parking lot or on his driveway, but he has never been in it nor has he ever seen Jeongguk drive it before.
And both were quite the sight.
He has color changing LED lights to illuminate the seats and armrests, a touch-screen display and multiple events along with a button gear shift. Then there’s the Spiderman vanilla-scented car freshener hanging on the rearview mirror. Typical Jeongguk.
Jeongguk scoffs. “Didn’t think you’d actually like it. But just to let you know, your opinion means fuck all to me .” He presses the R shift and backs out with one hand.
Taehyung rolls his eyes and tries to focus on what he’s doing rather than his words.
Oh right, Jeongguk driving. Yes, yeah, well, his hands when he’s driving are truly something else to look at. His knuckles are knobby and wide with his fingers are maybe a centimeter shorter than Taehyung’s. But the tendons and veins that become more prominent at the smallest thing are…nice to stare at. Along with the subtle flex of the muscles in his forearms that ripple whenever the steering wheel is turned.
But that’s totally normal. Taehyung’s hands and arms do the same thing (sort of) so if his brain could stop thirsting over the bare minimum, that would be great.
“Why wouldn’t I?” Taehyung asks, clearing his throat and pressing more into the interior of his seat.
“I don’t know. Hobi calls it the Douchebag Mobile so,” he shrugs, changing gears and getting out of the housing offices’ parking lot.
Thankfully, there was no one there so Taehyung signed his lease and got out before anyone could see them and they had to pretend by holding hands or some other form of PDA . His phone had most of his bank information and now he just has to send the check and move in. He texts his mother’s assistant to drop off the stuff today.
“He was so right for that,” Taehyung bites his lip so he doesn’t let out a smile. “Most fuckboys tend to get these kinds of cars. You’re one perm away from sliding into someone’s DMs, asking for nudes, barely flirting with them and then having godawful selfish sex before completely ghosting them.”
“I’m not a fuckboy,” he presses, sending a small glare his way.
Jeongguk goes onto the main road. The main parking structure is only two minutes away so they’ll have ample time to walk to their classes with their friends.
Taehyung snorts. “Relax, you’re in a relationship so no one will suspect you of such treachery.”
Jeongguk has always been more of the relationship type from Taehyung’s memory. There has yet to be a rumor about him shamelessly flirting with anyone or hooking up with people. Then again, no one batted an eye when he started dating Jae.
The radio plays way too softly in the background so Taehyung can barely hear the cheesy American pop song that’ll take his mind off of everything that blurs his brain completely.
He opts to look outside instead. There’s a group of first-year girls who walk in clusters, gabbing excitedly about something while one girl lingers in the back all alone. In the bike lane, a boy rides a hoverboard decked out in some downright disrespectfully ugly hypebeast clothing (Hoseok would die on the inside).
Today is Tuesday and it’s one of Taehyung’s longer days of classes and discussions. Tuesdays and Thursdays tend to be his dead days, especially when games are beginning, but thankfully he doesn’t have much Monday, Wednesday and Friday. He wonders what Jeongguk’s schedule is like so they can go back to the apartment together. Hopefully they coincide so Taehyung doesn’t have to get a cab back or ask Yoongi to drive him.
His fingers tap on his knees the entire time, begging for something, literally anything, to be interesting enough for the final minutes of this already short drive until Taehyung bites the bullet and opens his mouth.
“So,” Taehyung stretches, “how’s your sister?” He decides to ask out of sheer curiosity.
Jihyo graduated last year and got into a great law school in Seoul. The same one their father went to. Growing up as an only child at first, Taehyung always relied on Jihyo. She was sweet and caring and loving so he was really proud to hear about her success post-grad.
Jeongguk’s teeth tease the skin of his bottom lip. “Fine.” His tone is clipped.
Taehyung doesn’t get why he’s pushing a stick up his ass. He’s known Jeongguk’s sister almost his entire life. They went to tennis camp together, she led the girl’s tennis team and even recommended Taehyung as captain.
For fuck sake, she used to put bright red lipstick and horrendous green eyeshadow on both of them whenever they got too loud as punishment. There’s no reason to get all defensive over her.
“She’s taking the semester off before starting law school. She just came back from Milan last week.”
He feels some of the icy tension begin to melt at the briefest drop of information, which is good. So he prods further. “Cool, cool. And your parents?”
Jeongguk inhales sharply, turning his head to glare at Taehyung. “Kim,” he warns and the budding lightness is immediately crushed by the heavy boulder that Jeongguk drops on the conversation.
“What? Am I not allowed to ask questions?” Taehyung interrupts. His shoulders rise up in defense mode.
So I can ask about his sister but not his parents? What kind of backwards logic is that?
“I know you don’t actually give a fuck about my family.” He spits out harshly, turning into the parking structure to the security machine. “So don’t force out these stupid questions. I’m not interested in small talk with you.”
The car slowly stops and he presses a button on the side panel to lower his window. Jeongguk’s left hand goes to the center console to pull out a tag for the machine to scan.
Taehyung crosses his arms over his chest, curling into himself some more to block out Jeongguk’s coarse words. Each step he takes feels incorrect, like he’s striking a nerve, so now Taehyung has to play this silly little guessing game to see what topics are okay and what topics will make Jeongguk get all bitchy.
This is about to be three months of straight-up torture, he thinks to himself. Taehyung leans his head back against the headrest and curiously turns to look at Jeongguk.
He’s wearing a short sleeve so when he puts weight on his right arm while leaning forward, his muscles strain and flex. Taehyung’s eyes fall on it, watching as the size of his forearm increases, veins mapping out the most beautiful pattern right in front of his eyes and Taehyung is gaping like he was invited front-row to watch Monet paint the water lilies. His mouth goes completely dry.
Taehyung briefly wonders how those muscles would feel under his hand. If he reached out and pressed down on the veins, what would Jeongguk do?
But he snaps out of it. They’re fighting.
And Jeongguk doesn’t like him.
“You know, I would really like it if you’d stop making assumptions about what I want or care about, please and thank you,” he manages to retort back, shaking the image of his sexy arm out of his head.
The machine beeps and the clearance bar lifts to let his car through. Jeongguk rolls the window back up so humid air doesn’t get inside before scoffing loudly.
“So you’re telling me you do care?”
He was just trying to break the awkward ice with some small talk but apparently that word does not exist in Jeongguk’s brain.
Jeongguk cuts in. “You don’t. You don’t even like me and I don’t like you either. So save your words for someone else.” His words cut deep like a sharp knife into Taehyung’s side.
“God, you are insufferable, you know that? How does anyone have a conversation with you?” His body shifts as the car turns into the structure, first floor, slot number 901.
“Me? I can talk with the people I like with no problem but with you? If someone could measure my dislike for even breathing the same air as you, it would be in the billions.”
Taehyung was glad that the car was moving before because he was gifted the luxury of not having Jeongguk’s eyes on him. But when he parks the car and turns to look at him, making his jab hit harder with challenging, low-set eyes, it sparks a lick of flame in his stomach.
Like an idiot, he presses the button on his belt buckle, freeing his body from the restraint so he can lean closer to the other.
“Well, mine would be in the trillions.”
“Mine would be infinite.” His jawline ticks and dear god, that is one nice fucking jawline.
Taehyung splutters. “You wouldn’t be able to calculate mine because it’s so big and-and imcountable.” He slips up.
Jeongguk smirks, clicking his own belt free. “Yeah, imcountable.” He knows he won that one, fucker. The confidence radiates off of him like rays off the sun.
Taehyung is so terribly floored, not just by the slight decrease in space but also because Jeongguk is fighting back. When they were younger, he would always fall short, lose, and then pout about it for a little before letting it go. Taehyung always won these short little back-and-forth battles but now, he’s holding his own.
He’s fighting back. He’s gotten older now, no longer the trailing little boy that clung to his Dad’s legs whenever he met new people. Jeongguk has some sureness in his stance and less of an insecure gleam tugging his face down.
Taehyung hates that he’s finding the smallest thing attractive about a guy who just claimed he hates even breathing the same air as him but he can’t help it. There’s growth and it’s led to making that shy boy into a man. A very sexy, intimidating man that can keep up with his petty bullshit.
He opens his mouth to taunt further, see if Jeongguk can meet his friendly fire with some of his own, but then there’s a rough tap on Jeongguk’s window and both him and Taehyung jump at the sound.
The window reveals none other than Seokjin with a teasing glint in his usually soft eyes.
“Are you going to get out or do I need to give you two lovebirds some private time?”
Taehyung stares back at him like a deer in headlights. He swears his heart has leaped up to his damn esophagus, pounding like anything despite literally nothing happening. It’s as if all coherent, logical thought has completely evaporated from his mind and he’s being controlled by some exterior thirsty force that thinks everything a man he supposedly despises does is sexy.
It’s probably just touch starvation. Let’s go with that.
His fingers scramble to press the unlock button on his door, hauling his bag up and getting out of that vanilla-scented hellscape before Jeongguk can say anything else. Taehyung is welcomed by fresh air and the sight of their four other friends standing around Jeongguk’s parked car with giddy little smiles on their faces.
“Morning, Romeo,” Jimin teases. “You and Juliet have a rough start?” The others giggle and Taehyung shoves his hands into his pockets so he doesn’t thwack the blonde on the forehead.
“Don’t even start with me, Park,” he warns, tugging his bag onto his shoulder and forcing himself not to look when he hears Jeongguk get out of the car and lock it, standing next to Seokjin rather than him.
Jimin just giggles. “You two will be in the honeymoon phase before you know it.”
Yeah, when pigs fly. Jeongguk would rather drink battery acid than be near him so the honeymoon, lovey-dovey, actually happy stage seems impossible. Not that he wants it either.
Somehow, they’ll have to pretend with other people around. Taehyung doesn’t know if Jeongguk is going to snap at simple small talk but it’s not like either of them has a choice right now.
He just rolls his eyes. “Let’s just go.” Other people are parking their cars here so they should move and put on a show before anyone notices the lack of chemistry between the newest It-Couple.
Briefly, he glances at Hoseok and Seokjin who were crowding around Jeongguk, ruffling his hair and giving him hugs and pinching his cheeks. Taehyung watches bitterly as he smiles at them.
Like a real, genuine, cute smile. Something that Taehyung has not gotten once from him in years.
Seokjin says something to make them laugh and Hoseok giggles so hard he trips into Jeongguk, who holds him up with a grip on his forearms. His nose scrunches and his eyes narrow while the brightness of his smile takes up his face like a beam of light. The older slaps Jeongguk’s shoulder, stumbling just a bit but mainly watching Hoseok’s face change animatedly as he beams and claps with laughter.
Taehyung’s body goes rigid. His lips purse as the nastiest feeling floods his system.
Without a second thought, he walks over as Yoongi and Jimin are ushering them to leave. “Jeon,” he calls, watching as Jeongguk’s smile begins to crumble at this voice. It’s like a slap to his face.“It’s time for us to go to class.”
The pit in Taehyung’s stomach grows deeper as Jeongugk’s expression fades to a look of discontent. He was just giggling and laughing two seconds ago.
“Ugh, fine.” He waves goodbye to the others as they walk ahead of him, patting his cheeks or squeezing the back of his neck in parting. Taehyung watches silently and then moves to the spot right next to him.
His shoulder is so close to Jeongguk’s that he can feel the heat radiating off of his body. The smell of his perfume hits Taehyung’s nose along with the lingering smell of sunscreen and hair serum. It’s such a soft and sweet smell that if he were to close his eyes, he could imagine himself in a flower field on a warm spring day.
“Well, jeez. Don’t get too excited, buddy.” He holds his hand out in front of Jeongguk. His right one, to be exact, and keeps it up in the air while his eyes scan around for other bystanders walking by them.
Judging by the way Yoongi and Jimin are like in public, Taehyung decided in the car that it would look good if they walked to the main quad together, hand in hand, to say goodbye (in front of other people) to get a nice head start on this thing. Nothing too raunchy but nothing too stiff either.
A few seconds go by with Taehyung’s hand floating lonely in the air while Jeongguk seems to be looking everywhere but him. Practically whistling and rocking on the balls of his feet for the next step.
Taehyung is going to bash his head in. “Hey,” he calls, waving the outstretched hand in front of his face.
“I’m gonna fucking kill you. Did you not see my hand?” For effect, he stretches his hand out once more, staring right into Jeongguk’s eyes while his fingers wave in the air all lonely. He just hopes no one is paying close attention to them, or they’ll catch their act in two seconds flat.
Jeongguk just rolls his eyes for the millionth time but before Taehyung can jab him with another retort, his hand is clasped around Taehyung’s.
Taehyung tries not to overthink it. Holding hands is straightforward, the tiniest bit of contact, and it’s one of the least demanding things he can do with Jeongguk. Nothing compared to having to kiss him.
But his fingers, which have always been long and daunting, fit well with Jeongguk. He doesn’t feel like a giant holding someone’s hand. The length actually works because Taehyung’s fingers can fully encompass his wide palm and Jeongguk’s palm is big enough to capture his smaller one. Like a perfect fit, two pieces of a puzzle that you’ve been trying to solve.
No intertwining fingers, Taehyung isn’t there just yet, but this is fine. For now.
“Just shoot me now.” He mutters under his breath. Taehyung catches it over the loud thump of his heart. In retaliation, his nails softly dig into the flesh of Jeongguk’s hands, getting a jolt in response as they leave the parking structure.
“Don't worry. If you keep this shit attitude up then I might just make that dream of yours come true.”
His friends are quite a few paces ahead, already in their respective “couples” and waiting for Taehyung and Jeongguk to appear under the green trees with beams of fresh sunlight peeking through the spaces. It’s a nice day out, not too disgustingly hot to the point where Taehyung feels like he might die. He’d be happier if the guy he was holding hands with wasn’t such a piece of shit.
“Oh goodie!” Jeongguk cheers sarcastically, putting on a cheerful animated voice. “Holding hands! Wow, I love dating you. I could do this all day.” His free hand cups the side of his cheek, fingers drumming gently while his eyelashes flutter like a smitten anime character.
Taehyung quirks a brow in response, trying not to smile. “Is that a challenge?”
Because, if he really wanted to, he could be the prissy bratty princess of Jeongguk’s nightmares.
He scoffs. “Please, you couldn't handle all of me.” Jeongguk’s hand gets to the door handle before Taehyung and he holds the door open for him.
Taehyung doesn’t expect it so for the first few seconds, he’s standing in front of the open door with a funny expression on his face as if Jeongguk is gonna cut through and slam the door in his face.
He shakes his head slightly and walks first so Jeongguk misses the heat building over his cheeks.
“Handle you? You're throwing a fit over us holding hands.” What does he think is going to happen when they kiss?
Jeongguk follows him, hands still connected and leaving faster than usual to quip back fast enough.
“This is nothing. When I get into it, I can be everything you hate. The ultimate romantic. People will get so sick of us that our relationship will be mentioned even after all of this is done and you’re fucking married with kids. I’ll be like the cheesy male lead in a K-drama that makes your fucking teeth hurt.”
“Oh yeah?” Taehyung challenges him. He’s not dropping this so quickly. If Jeongguk wants to play the cheesy rom-com boy then he can play the other end too. “You think you can date me that well?”
And then Jeongguk steps just a bit closer, leaning in so his face is right in line with Taehyung, making perfect, strong, powerful eye contact. “You’d be surprised.”
His voice is just short of a husky whisper. Taehyung can feel the gentle breeze of his breath intertwined with the fall wind. He swears his entire body stiffens at the sight of Jeongguk so close to him, all of his moles, the shape of his nose, his beautiful eyes, the perfect shape of his glistening lips, it turns tantalizing.
Taehyung doesn’t want to back down just yet. “Okay then, show me. Give me a little taste.”
He has no idea what to expect. Jeongguk is probably speaking out of his ass, trying to get under Taehyung’s skin with comments like this, knowing that he’s never been the type to drop an argument unless he wins it. Not much has changed with him anyways. Taehyung is hard to crack and hard to get through. Cold and enigmatic, an emotionless hedonist. The complete opposite of Jeongguk.
Emotions are scary and difficult to comprehend which is why Taehyung has always preferred hooking up over dating. Pure pleasure and nothing else while Jeongguk wanted to live in shoujo manga, wanted all of the romantic bits, the slow bits, the angry bits, and the bits in between.
It’s what made their friendship so endearing to everyone else. Jeongguk was always so upfront about how he felt while Taehyung held it in, cried alone, and got angry behind closed doors.
If he was mellow water, Jeongguk was a bright fire. Cold hidden depth and burning passion.
Two seconds go by without Jeongguk doing anything and he has Taehyung thinking that nothing is going to happen right until he feels it. His jaw goes a little slack, lips parting to let out the smallest inaudible gasp.
Because Jeongguk decides to let go of his hand and slip it into Taheyung’s back pocket, pulling him onto his side with his grip.
A line of electricity jolts up Taehyung’s spine thanks to the heat of Jeongguk’s hand inside his pocket. It feels warmer almost, adding to his body temperature and causing a thin line of perspiration to build on his skin.
He freezes up, shoulders going to his ears, pausing in the middle of the path up to campus while trying to register all of this. Taehyung’s mind goes completely blank, void of any other thought besides this.
And remember those big palms? Yeah, Jeongguk has to squeeze his hand into the tight pocket, curving his hand around the round flesh of Taehyung’s ass just right. Such an almost sensation thanks to the fabric of his stupid pants and his stupid boxers.
One group of guys look at the four of them, whispering and pointing amongst each other. Taehyung can’t even catch their words or greet them. He can’t even look up from the ground because if he does, he will blush like a smitten schoolgirl and that is so not the vibe he’s trying to go for. He has a reputation to uphold but it’s so easy to forget about right now while Jeongguk palms his cheeks.
“Is this,” Jeongguk starts, the previous fire in his tone dimmed down to a slightly concerned one, “Is this okay with you?” His eyes are trained on Taehyung’s facial expression and judging by the lack of words coming from his mouth, he’s probably reading this the wrong way, which is totally understandable.
Because Taehyung is at the crossroads of wanting to push Jeongguk away and wanting him to squeeze his ass once at the same time, just to see how it feels.
Look, he’s had guys do way worse than stick their hands in his back pocket but this, this feels like something brand new. The simplicity and the nonchalant territorialism exuding off the action. Jeongguk’s hand molded along the cleft of his butt so if some creep wants to gawk at him, they’ll see his hand before anything else.
It’s so fucking hot. Taehyung feels wanted and in the best way possible.
He clears his throat. “Yeah it’s,” he does it again, “it’s fine with me.” He hopes his face isn’t bright red. “Is this an excuse just to feel my ass? Because I get it, Jeon. Lots of guys would kill to be in your place.” Judging by the way they stare, it should be apparent.
Jeongguk scoffs, shoulders shaking for less than a second. “It isn’t,” he answers honestly and to Taehyung, that’s a sign that the game is over. He has nothing left to say anyways.
So he drops it and lets silence lull over them from the crosswalk up the path to the main quad.
Taehyung continues to walk and his eyes make sure to veer clear of Jeongguk’s gaze. With every step he takes, he feels Jeongguk’s palm, his fingers, and the press of his arm against his lower back. His nose is flooded with the scent of him, that cottony floral mixed with a hint of that candle he always burns.
The tree-lined path allows for the streams of sunlight to light up patches of his skin, his hair and his clothes so the burning heat becomes less intense and Taehyung can focus back on being his normal self again.
He waves and smiles brightly, leaning into Jeongguk’s touch like he wants to and not because he should.
“I love your shirt, Taehyung!”
“Taehyung! Will I see you at Seojoon’s end of the first week party?”
“The rugby team is throwing a rager this weekend. You should come.”
Taehyung tries to respond as per usual. Thanking them for the endless compliments and the textbook “Maybe,” or “I’m not sure yet”, to get people to lay off. Most of the time they ask questions about parties he knows he will already be going to or events he’s received the invite for so these people will find out then. There’s no need to jump the gun by letting them know in advance. Besides, he loves the element of surprise his sudden appearance brings.
His cheeks hurt from the fake grin he puts on. People flock to him more now that Jeongguk is stuck to his side, eyeing the pair like one of them is going to transform into a wolf and eat them if they do something wrong.
“Don’t you ever get tired of this?” Jeongguk asks as the main quad gets closer and closer.
Taehyung breaks his pact of not looking at him now that he’s somewhat gotten used to Jeongguk’s touch. His head turns, meeting the younger’s soft gaze and bitten lips, tufts of hair falling in front of his face and brushing his cheeks, and his heartbeat accelerates.
Wow. “Tired of what?” Fuck, Taehyung’s voice sounds too breathy.
“You know, tired of people giving a fuck about every small thing that you do, being all up in your business?”
Taehyung shrugs. “Sometimes.” He’s well aware of how exhausting this lifestyle can be. “But I like the fact that people care.” Taehyung doesn’t say it but the attention makes him feel good. He’s always liked feeling wanted even if it’s for the sake of sex or fluffing egos or giving his fame to others. But he isn’t going to drop the chance to taunt Jeongguk once more. “Why? Too much for you already, Jeon?”
Jeongguk’s eye roll is immediate. They reach the middle of the quad, almost the same exact spot where Taehyung revealed their relationship to everyone. It’s perfect because anyone can see them as they walk by, just waiting for the next thing to gush about.
It seems Jeongguk decides he wants to take the reins. He stops Taehyung by slipping his hand out of his pocket halfway so only his fingers are inside to spin him around to face him. Taehyung feels his balance slip, feet stumbling while his stomach flips from how fast Jeongguk seems to be moving him, as if he’s a pliant piece of clay.
He tries to steady himself by placing his hands on Jeongguk’s chest, right where his heart is and feeling the same pounding beat underneath his fingertips.
Taehyung’s hair wooshes around, probably looking like a poodle-y mess thanks to the wind. But Jeongguk continues to grin at him, genuinely, without his eye contact wavering once.
“Not at all. I was just curious about your endurance.”
His touch starved brain breaks free from its holds and decides to completely control Taehyung’s body. He lets his hands slink up and dangle behind Jeongguk’s neck, chest brushing the other’s, faces inches apart.
From here, Taehyung can see each mole he has on his face, that scar he got when they were play-fighting once, and count each of his eyelashes.
Part of him begs to pull back but a stronger part of him begs him to stay. It’s nice and Jeongguk isn’t pushing him away, he’s playing along, it feels familiar and safe. Taehyung wants to cherish this some more.
“That’s cute,” Taehyung smirks. “My endurance lasts way longer than you think, baby.”
“Is that so?” His eyes sparkle so much. Each individual star is present, swimming in the silky black pool.
Taehyung hums. “Some people can’t handle it. That’s how long it lasts.”
The context switches from his public persona completely. He can’t stop it and Jeongguk seems to play along.
“You’ve clearly been with a couple of pathetic wimps.” Jeongguk chuckles and his dimples faintly appear. Taehyung’s eyes drop to them for the split second they come up and he cannot fathom what in the hell Jae was thinking leaving a man that looks like this.
Wearing such a simple outfit, all black, hair tousled by the wind and his friends. Taehyung finds him more attractive than anything.
“Think you can do better?”
Jeongguk’s fingers reach up and push strands of Taehyung’s hair back. His face gets closer and closer, like he’s about to push their lips together and Taehyung can feel the anticipation in his stomach bubbling up.
He flutters his eyes shut as the teasing sensation of soft, soap-scented fingers gently brushes his skin.
Show me, his brain pleads. I wanna see. Show me how you’re better.
Taehyung leans in a bit, just to see if he’ll do it first. Jeongguk might be all talk like he thought. This could all just be part of their fake relationship. Maybe he’s just good at acting. Maybe he’s just stringing Taehyung along as a little joke.
Or, maybe his body feels that ceremonious pull too. Maybe it’s not just Taehyung.
His eyes dart to every corner of Jeongguk’s face. From his dangling earrings to the delectable mole underneath his lip. It’s right there in Taehyung’s view, all he has to do is lean in some more and press his lips and boom, they’re kissing.
So easy, right? Just lean in and–
He is interrupted by someone from a group of people calling Jeongguk’s name rather loudly and he splits from his horny induced madness.
He turns away from Taehyung to find the swim team standing on the steps to the science building, giving Jeongguk a funny look or trying hard not to break their faces from how hard they smile.
“Let’s go lover-boy,” Kim Yugyeom, the team captain, calls. “We have to get good seats in Physics this time.”
A (cute) panicked look takes over Jeongguk’s expression and he pulls away from Taehyung, leaving him cold and confused. “Shit, I gotta go.” The warmth of his hand leaves Taehyung’s skin, gone is the scent and the feeling of him pressed all close.
He moves without thinking, tugging Jeongguk back to him with a hand on his forearm. It’s easy since he doesn’t expect it so his body is loose.
The same expression lies on his face, cutely surprised, and he raises a single eyebrow at Taehyung.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” His skin crawls with all of the people that stare as if they are two animals at a zoo. Jeongguk stares back slightly confused.
His eyes dart all wide and cute over Taehyung’s face. “What is it?” Gone is the teasing tone, the sexy bravado that fueled their back and forth, and erupted goosebumps all over Taehyung. He’s Jeongguk again, clueless Jeongguk who hates him. “Did I forget my phone?”
Taehyung’s face dulls. “You’re supposed to kiss me goodbye,” he points out.
In seconds, his expression completely flips.
“What! No, I’m not doing that,” he denies it in a panicked manner, shaking his head like Taehyung asked him to clean the bottom of his shoes with his tongue.
“Do you want people to believe us or not?” Taehyung looks around once more and people are gawking, waiting, getting late to their classes just to see them. So Jeongguk better speed it the fuck up and fast.
He swallows shakily. His voice climbs with nerves. “I never said I’d kiss you. You never said I would have to.”
“Stop fucking panicking, people are watching.” He smiles while gritting his teeth, linking their hands to turn this spat into a romantic gesture and standing close to Jeongguk. “What did you think would happen? Boyfriends kiss when they leave each other-”
Jeongguk cuts in. His voice is breathy and low. “I-”
Taehyung doesn’t let him finish.
“-and if you’re going to be a child about it again then this is really going to be a problem for us-”
“Kim,” Jeongguk tries again.
“-because people are only going to believe it when they see it, especially people like Jae-”
Jeongguk squeezes his hand to get him to stop, his eyes clenched shut like he’s in pain. “Taehyung,” he exhales. Taehyung finally stops talking. “I can’t kiss you, okay? It’s just… it’s too early for that, for me at least.” His expression is tight and restrained.
Taehyung’s chin pulls back. His initial reaction is to poke fun at Jeongguk’s painful look. It’s just a kiss. Who cares? Because in his mind, he couldn’t give less of a fuck who he was kissing. People put way too much emphasis on the damn thing. It’s just lips on lips pressed together. Why does it have to be so emotional? No one actually feels anything when they kiss someone, right?
To him, it’s always been this thing he does during sex. No intimacy or romance behind it.
But he supposes, if he really thinks about it, that for someone who had spent two years kissing the same person, whom he loved, it would hurt to kiss someone else.
And for someone like Jeongguk who is always so absolute about everything, black and white, yes or no, he can’t see that point of unattachment like Taehyung does over a measly kiss. His heart might still yearn to kiss Jae and he can’t feel the nonchalance that Taehyung does because his heart is still connecting the action to one person.
Taehyung swallows down the bitterness in his mouth. “Fine,” it’s tight, his teeth pressing together. “Can I kiss you on the cheek, then?”
A significantly less intimate spot in his opinion and definitely not enough for him or for the thirsty bitchless vultures around them but Taehyung is trying to accommodate here.
Jeongguk still turns to the side, looking terribly, terribly uncomfortable. His eyebrows furrow in thought like he is piecing together every possible outcome before making his decision but Taehyung doesn’t have time for him to think through every possible outcome before speaking his mind.
Both of them have places to be and saying goodbye should not be this drawn out, holy fuck. Every second they waste hesitating ruins the perfect act they put on right before this.
He groans quietly. “Jesus, can I hug you then?” Taehyung asks, tone dripping with disbelief.
Taehyung moves quickly, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Jeongguk’s shoulders and pulling him in. Chests pressing, he can feel Jeongguk’s pounding heart as he wraps his arms around Taehyung’s waist. It’s loose and half-hearted, tapping his lower back either affectionately or to get him to move on but that doesn’t take away from the way it makes Taehyung feel. .
His scent becomes omnipresent, sticking to Taehyung like a fresh layer of glue. But it isn’t nauseatingly heavy. It’s nice. Familiar, warm, and safe.
If he could stay, he would. He wants to. In these arms, he could melt. All strong and secure.
Fuck, this isn’t good. Taehyung’s eyes clench shut, his stomach flips and his entire body feels relaxed. He doesn’t want to leave when he should and Jeongguk doesn’t want him to stay when he shouldn’t.
It’s just a hug, Taehyung thinks. How would he react if Jeongguk was okay with kissing? God, he’s a hypocrite.
And that is what makes Taehyung pull away. One thing echoing in his mind.
His classes end right on the dot as his fundamentals professor finishes his point on the powers of social media for your career, something Taehyung already knows so he can get away with scrolling through twitter on his laptop and tuning the guy out. Carefully, he gets up from his seat, one of his backpack straps over his shoulder, and slinks out from the back exit.
Unfortunately, Taehyung doesn’t get to go home like everyone else. He’s got a rat to deal with.
Grumbling, he takes a back path to a more secluded area where no one could spot him and Doeun together. There’s an older parking structure that some people prefer to use when the main ones get filled up. Especially the people coming in limousines so they won’t get egged. The only problem is that it’s just too far away.
Taehyung feels like he’s walking all the way to Japan just to find this damn parking structure.
He connects his airpods and listens to some jazz while he walks, holding his head up high, even while he’s walking. People say hi to him the entire walk there and he smiles back. He has to keep up his friendly persona, right?
Jeongguk is lucky. He gets to walk around campus and just be himself. No one is watching his every move, caring about the tiniest details, scrutinizing anything he wears or does. He’s free.
What Taehyung would give to have that kind of life.
Don’t get him wrong. He loves being the It-Boy. He likes the clothing sponsors, all of the party invites, the envy and the feeling of being wanted. Taehyung gets to bathe in attention and, in that realm, he’s never dissatisfied.
It’s everything else that sucks. That makes him wish he was more like Jeongguk.
Sometimes, Taehyung just needs a breather from it all. He’d like to go out wearing his comfiest clothes, post himself having fun online, and just be a reckless young person without fear for a little longer. His youth is being ostracized every second he gets. Jeongguk gets to fuck up, make mistakes, be human and no one will get mad at him for it. His smallest mistake won’t appear on some gossip blog, posted on the internet for everyone to gawk and laugh at.
Meanwhile, if Taehyung steps outside this perfect persona he’s created, he’ll never hear the end of it.
Speaking of Jeongguk, what the fuck was that in the main quad today? Taehyung was acting like a virgin who’s spent their entire life underground and only survived off of canned beans and anime porn. Shuddering and panicking over a damn hug like he hasn’t been fucked uncountable times before.
It’s embarrassing and honestly, completely out of character for him. He’s the experienced one after all.
So shouldn’t he be making Jeongguk blush?
That’s how this goes in movies. The shyer one will get teased and teased while the cooler one will be doing the teasing until they get closer and fix their relationship.
But Taehyung is simply a fucking mess right now and that cannot continue for the rest of the three months or however long Jeongguk decides to drag out this shitfest. He thinks his heart might need reconstructive surgery if it’s gonna beat at that high of a BPM whenever Jeongguk barely touches him.
Not just his touch. His scent, his smile, his hair, his clothes, the way he kept up with Taehyung today. It’s fucking getting to him and Taehyung is thinking he’s gone insane from the lack of sex.
He reaches the parking structure where a handful of people leave from, barely glancing at Taehyung. It’s a short, four storeyed building with regular cars on the bottom two and mostly limousines on the top two. All it takes is a simple elevator ride and Taehyung is there.
Partially, he’s glad that no one pays attention to him here. That way, no one can report his whereabouts and spark rumors.
The elevator doors part, the robotic voice says the floor number and Taehyung is greeted with a half empty lot. His fingers pluck his airpods out and with a heavy sigh, he walks to the car he unfortunately knows too well.
Kang Doeun, a 5 '10, AI-generated K-pop idol looking loser that was most likely born in the pits of Satan’s asshole.
Doeun is pretty well off. Not nearly as much as Taehyung or Jeongguk but he’s wealthy enough to make a statement. His dad owns a few news agencies that are pretty well-known and his mom works in tv. So he doesn’t get a limousine or a fancy car but a nice Hyundai Genesis that he boasted about to Taehyung when they first met like it was the Nobel Peace Prize.
Taehyung walks past one or two bouncing and steam-covered cars. Usually the top floors are reserved for people who are interested in hooking up between classes or doing drugs but considering it’s 3:30 p.m. on a Wednesday, the amount is low which he is grateful for.
Taehyung taps his knuckles on the blacked out windows three times, exhaling a heavy sigh.
A few seconds pass when the door opens just enough and Taehyung climbs inside, making sure he’s as close to the exit as possible when his ass meets the leather upholstery.
And right there is Kang Doeun, smiling at him like they’re best friends or something.
“Hi there, kitten,” he grins. Taehyung tries not to visibly cringe too hard at the old pet name given to him.
If you were to ask Taehyung what he thought of the guy two months ago, he’d have nothing but nice things to say. But now that everything has transpired and he got to see what Doeun is really like, Taehyung feels gross looking at him.
Ugh, Jae must love his sharp eyes and his pouty lips but Taehyung is filled with remorseful memories of cold hotel rooms and cigarettes on the balcony after a hot day instead.
“What is it now?” He sighs, squeezing his kneecaps to rid himself of any residual tension.
Doeun shakes his head and clicks his tongue in corny disappointment. “So prickly, can’t I just talk to you?” He pouts.
Taehyung’s short fuse blows once again. He’s not here for fucking games. “Look, I’ve had classes all day today. I’m hungry and tired and I wanna go home,” he presses. Taehyung needs to move his stuff in today and he needs to talk about being couple-y with Jeongguk too. “So just tell me whatever it is you want and then let me go–”
Immediately, fingers squish his cheeks together, limiting his speech and causing him to jump. “Ah, ah, ah, you don’t get to make the orders around here, remember? I’m the one with those pictures of you and I can have my dad print them with a simple text.” His fingers trace the plush shape of Taehyung’s bottom lip. “So play nice. I want to talk for a bit.”
Momentary fear courses through his body, freezing his veins and muscles till he’s a block of ice. Taehyung will never be left alone if those pictures come out. He’ll constantly be reminded of it, no matter what he does in life. It will affect his family, his future family, his step-brother, his mom and step-dad and him the most.
“Fine,” he moves his face out of Doeun’s grip. “Let’s talk.” If that’s all that this is going to be then he has no problem.
The younger leans back with a satisfied smirk and grips a plastic cup of iced coffee. “You and Jeon, what’s that all about?” His head tilts, tone lilting like he doesn’t think it’s true or that he finds the entire ordeal to be beneath him.
“We’re dating.” Taehyung deadpans.
Doeun snorts at him the minute it falls from his lips. The mere sound causes a lick of flame to burn in Taehyung’s stomach.
The kind that makes him see red.
“You? Dating that loser? That’s fucking rich,” Doeun laughs sardonically to himself as if he has the right.
Dismissing Jeongguk like he’s any better is honestly comical. One of them is the unproblematic son of a famous CEO and lawyer while the other is a prissy little bitch hiding behind his dad’s company to blackmail people into doing the things he wants. Take a guess which one is which.
“And what do you know about Jeongguk?” Taehyung looks down at his nails instead of Doeun to keep his temper in check.
“Considering the fact that I’m with his ex, I know enough.” The ice crackles in the cup as he swirls before taking a sip. The car reeks of coffee and his shitty cologne and Taehyung hates it. “Jae talks so much shit about him. Like all the time thanks to your little declaration in the quad on Monday. It’s kinda driving me up the walls.”
Taehyung’s tries not to make a face. If he could, he could write a dissertation about wha Jae is the most annoying human being on the planet, sent from an alternate dimension where pure evil exists to punish Taehyung for being too cool and pretty.
Seriously, he’s the absolute worst.
He leans in close, coffee breath right in Taehyung’s face. “Apparently, Jeon’s super needy and super insecure and Jae was getting fed up with it but he only had the balls to leave him when he met me.” Doeun’s shoulders raise with confidence, as if that’s something to brag about.
He feels weird hearing about this from someone that isn’t Jeongguk. After hearing the details of his painful summer, the last thing he’d like to hear is Jae living it up with his living nightmare.
“Why are you telling me this?” Taehyung’s eyebrows scrunch.
“Thought you should know because, from my memory, clinginess is something you can’t stand.”
Not fully true. Taehyung likes attention, likes affection, and he never minded when Jeongguk used to follow him around whenever he got shy in new settings or when Jeongguk had that relieved expression whenever Taehyung entered a party late because he finally had someone to talk to. He always saw it as sort of cute.
However, what isn't cute is a hook-up draping all over him for coffee or a date.
He’s a one-and-done kind of guy. No need for lingering after or eating food or even sharing a post-sex cigarette like an 80s movie. Once both parties have done the deed, Taehyung leaves. And he always hated it whenever they couldn’t take the fucking hint.
Like Doeun. He just kept on coming back.
“I don’t mind when it comes to him,” he shrugs. It doesn’t feel like a lie when he says it.
Viciously soft memories play in his mind like a reel. At first, Jeongguk could barely speak to Taehyung’s parents so he would just mumble under his breath to their maid until his family eventually gained his trust. He would call every year on Taehyung’s birthday to wish him, even if they would see each other the next day for New Years and after every trip, Taehyung would be the first one to hear everything that went down.
He never once complained about it. Since he was an only child it was nice to have Jeongguk around. Finally there was someone who Taehyung could tell everything to that was his age. Someone that wanted to play pretend and dirty their fancy clothes because they’ll get washed later. Nothing about their friendship felt needy or too clingy on Jeongguk’s end.
Being with him makes up some of Taehyung’s nicest memories.
“How did you guys even meet?” Doeun asks, pulling Taehyung out of his nostalgic recap. “Can’t be the first two months of summer since you were busy with a certain someone.” The smirk on his face makes Taehyung want to yak all over this stupid car. “So this must be pretty new huh?”
Doeun is trying to catch him on his ass to flip it around and use this for his own benefit. Taehyung has gotten burned by him once
But thankfully, he’s actually thought of their beginning while nodding off during class.
“We’ve known each other since we were kids. Our moms are friends and we,” he trails off to seem more organic and less rehearsed, “just started talking again in August. He’s really sweet and nice and it just turned into a relationship.” Stripping the details of their first date so Doeun doesn’t get overloaded but also because Taehyung thinks he should be discussing this with Jeongguk.
The younger raises an eyebrow. “Really?” Taehyung nods. “Why doesn’t anyone know about you two being friends?”
“What, do you want pictures of our mothers at Mommy and Me yoga? We weren’t as close as our moms were until now.” His heart tugs.
That’s quite literally the opposite of the truth.
“Alright,” he presses a comically large vape to his lips, blowing banana-creme clouds right in Taehyung’s face, “how is it then?”
“How is what?” Taehyung sighs. He wants to eat.
Doeun interrupts him, blowing more nasty smoke out. “If we’re not gonna fuck then let’s talk about it. Does Jeon fuck you nice and good? Do you fuck him? Is it big?” He questions with great curiosity. God, it is too early for all of this to be thrown in his direction.
“Why don’t you ask Jae, huh?” Satisfaction is immediate when Doeun’s jaunty smirk falls at the sides. “Better yet, why don’t you talk to him about how sex with Jeongguk was?”
“He rarely brings it up when I’m around.” The cockiness radiating off of him is really getting to Taehyung. “So Jeon must be pretty bad, then, huh?”
This is a lie that Taehyung is totally unprepared for but his mind reverts back to the moment Jeongguk’s hand reached into his back pocket, the way he spun Taehyung on his axis, the way his hands looked when he drives and they all form a picture in his head. One of his hands being pinned above his head, of heavy breaths and sizzling eye contact and moans swallowed by wanton lips and he fucking runs with it.
And before you go giving him a look, it’s better than nothing okay!
A smirk grows on his face. “Quite the opposite, really.” He adds spice just so Doeun can fully understand how much better off Taehyung is now that he is (not actually) fucking someone else.“Could barely walk last time and that’s how I like it but you wouldn’t know that.”
There’s a reason he only had sex with Doeun 2-3 times.
He scoffs, setting his vape down to rub his chin in thought before speaking. “Just for that, I’m asking for something in return.”
“Seriously?” Taehyung shrieks. He is not fucking doing this again. No way. He’s calling the cops and sprinting out of here. “What part of the word relationship do you not get?”
“I’m not talking about sex. I want something else.” Doeun pauses, either for dramatic effect or to be an asshole. “I want an invite to every party that you get invited to.”
“Why?” This is a huge campus, with tons of other parties occurring at the same time. So many cliques and clubs and communities for Doeun to weave his way into. The rich jock community is not one of the welcoming or easy to get into types simply because of the qualifications.
You either have to know someone or be someone and considering most of these jocks are selective about invites, newcomers are rare. But people always want in. They want all of the glitz and glamor because it feels like something they’d find in a Fitzgerald novel. Overly embellished, shiny, and pretty settings with posh language and expensive dresses when that is far from the truth.
“You little snobby fucks love hiding it from the rest of us, well guess what? I want in. I only got into the last one because I overheard some idiots blabbing about it to each other but now I want you to send me the addresses or passwords. For me and Jae,” he makes sure to add.
If Taehyung is not wrong, he might detect a bit of jealousy. He’d tease Doeun about it but he doesn’t want to end up with worse so he drops it for now. “Jae doesn’t like parties.” He would know, the idiot never comes to any team mixers.
“He likes them with me,” Doeun shrugs.
Whatever. “Alright, fine.” It’s easy enough. Taehyung doesn’t care who comes to the parties he frequents as long as Doeun keeps his side of the deal.
He turns his head to the door and places a hand on the handle so his exit is quick and easy. But then, Doeun swipes a thumb over his cheek, completely different to the gentle way Jeongguk brushed hair out of his face this morning. Doeun’s fingers are icy cold from his drink while Jeongguk’s were soft to the touch.
A wave of discomfort follows the sensation as Taehyung’s body goes into flight or fight mode.
“See what happens when you listen to me?” He coos, pressing down on his bottom lip to reveal the flesh behind it along with his bottom row of teeth. “Keep this up and those pictures will be gone before you know it.”
He’s demeaning, demoralizing and terrible to be around. Had the circumstances been different, Taehyung would’ve falcon punched this man into the stratosphere but he can’t. There isn’t much he can do to get Doeun off his back.
Because if those pictures get out, it could ruin everything he spent his entire life working for.
“So,” Jimin asks, “how has it been living with your betrothed?” He’s got that teasing tone and Taehyung is glad the blonde Factimes him while he organizes his closet because he gets to see his lovely reactions.
“This isn’t fucking Bridgerton,” he mumbles, pulling clothes from a suitcase and trying to preserve the folding so he won’t have to do it again.
Two days have gone by since Taehyung signed the lease and this Friday marks the end of the 1st week of school. In any other case, he’d be jumping for joy because Fridays mean the weekend which means parties but lately, Taehyung has not been in the mood.
“That’s boring. I was expecting some late night tension and pining,” he lists with a sultry tone.
Taehyung snorts. “Far from it.”The last time he saw Jeongguk was when they came back from morning classes and retreated back into their rooms to recharge/nap. They’ve barely spoken to each other besides the car rides to school and those fake sickly-in-love walks to main campus. Taehyung leans close to whisper to his phone, just in case these walls are thin as paper. “He is so difficult to live with.”
“How?” Jimin’s hair is fanned out on the couch he lays down on and he runs his fingers through his locks while the sounds of Yoongi tinkering in the kitchen are audible so Taehyung knows they’re both listening.
He makes sure to keep his voice down. “First of all, he’s the most nit-pickiest person I have ever met.”
Jeongguk has pretty detailed rules that he listed on his first night here. Ones about not leaving any dishes in the sink, otherwise it attracts flies or buying his own laundry stuff because Jeongguk uses specific ones and he knows Taehyung doesn’t give a shit. Fine, okay, Taehyung can follow that. He’ll just order out and buy his own laundry stuff then. He didn’t think it was that big of a deal.
And look, Taehyung is not known for being the best at chores. Let’s remember this folks, he’s never had to do them in his entire life. So, sometimes he makes the human error of forgetting to pick up after himself. Not a crime right?
“Last night, I picked up McDonald’s and I asked if he wanted some and he said no because he follows a meal plan,” he mocks Jeongguk’s tenor voice and Jimin giggles. “So while he ate some boring ass chicken salad with sweet potato, I was fucking up this cheeseburger and I was eating in the living room so I could watch Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha.” Taehyung narrates.
“Yes, as one does. Well, it was like 9 at that point so I went to bed because I was tired and I had a discussion in the mornings and you wanna know what happened this morning when I woke up?” Jimin nods. “The little shit starts lecturing me about not picking up after myself, acting like I shat on the living floor when it was literally like some wrappers and an empty soda cup.”
It was the definition of unnecessary. If it bothers Jeongguk so much why couldn’t he have thrown it away? Do a few pieces of garbage really make him that upset?
Taehyung waits patiently for Jimin to take his side and appease his broken ego when the other just tilts his head like he’s weighing the options. “I mean, he’s not wrong.” He tries to deliver it lighty but it stabs Taehyung in the side nonetheless.
“Our friendship is over–”
Jimin interrupts with the beginning of a knowing smile. “Hear me out first, shithead.” Taehyung’s arms cross over his chest patiently, motioning for Jimin to continue. “Alright, you can’t just leave trash around in the common area and expect Jeongguk to be okay with it. Wasn’t it spotless when you first looked at the place?” He nods, grumbling. “Right so obviously Jeongguk is a neat guy. Be messy in your own room but out in a shared area, you should accommodate.”
Whatever, maybe Taehyung was too lazy and he thought that if he pouted enough, Jeongguk would let it slide but his plan didn’t seem to work so no one needs to know about it!
Hastily, Taehyung throws a shirt onto his bed. He’s about ¼ settled in. His bed is made and he’s got his laptop, a few power strips and all of his clothes in suitcases but that’s about it. So he’s spending today trying to organize his closet and then the weekends going shopping for the rest since his mother told her assistant that Taehyung should do it.
He’s hoping that he can turn shopping into an outing with Jeongguk to get some pictures since Taehyung has not posted the guy once. All they’ve done is follow each other on Instagram but that was days ago.
“We really need to talk,” he starts, keeping his eyes on the striped polo rugby shirt in his hands, “about this whole fake relationship thing.”
Jimin shoots him a flirty wink. “Communication. Now that’s sexy. You guys should come up with a contract or something like that. You know, set boundaries.”
“You know, like going on a date once a week and posting each other on your Instagram stories each time and on the weekends and figuring out a timeline and shit. You can’t just wing it forever, Tae. People are going to have questions when you don’t post him at all. You broadcast every little happening in your day on social media, you think they won’t be suspicious if you don’t post your boyfriend? ”
He’s right. Doeun was easy because Jeongguk wasn’t there. Taehyung was on his own and he could just make stuff up on the go without getting called out on it. But when people see them together, they have to sync up.
And that takes time and love, like what normal couples have.
So after another 30 minutes of calling Jimin and listening to him rant about Dance Moms, Taehyung says bye and ends the call because he hears Jeongguk in the kitchen. Sounds of pans clattering and water running. He should make a post on his story of them together and then they’ll make an agreement.
Taehyung takes out his airpods, fixes his hair to perfection and walks out, shoving his hands in his pockets to look all relaxed. He shuts his door behind him and his feet press softly into the cold wood. The air smells of that fucking candle and a little bit like oil when he passes the threshold to see Jeongguk placing a large silver bowl on the drying rack.
“Jeon,” Taehyung calls, earning an unintelligible noise in response. “We have to talk.”
He looks cozy in loose shorts and a big gray t-shirt with a Nike logo in the corner. His hair is shiny, fluffy but combed. Eyebrows resting naturally, lips in their usual pout.
Taehyung can feel his eyes on him, studying the way his shirt slips to reveal some of his collarbone and his shorts are baggy around his knees. It’s a hot day and even with AC on, Taehyung is aiming for something breathable, just like Jeongguk is. Streams of sunlight illuminate the open area.
“Why?” He asks, wiping his hands using a white and blue striped dish towel.
There’s a bit of sauce collected at the corner of his lips and Taehyung’s instinct is to get closer so he can wipe it off but before he can scold himself for even thinking that, Jeongguk’s tongue swipes it off quickly.
“I think we need to discuss this relationship thing a little more.” Taehyung makes his way to the raised counter facing the sink, leaning an elbow on it. “You know, like how we met and stuff.”
“Ooh yay, our backstory,” he cheers in a monotone before rounding the kitchen and plopping down on the couch. The air whooshes when he passes by, giving Taehyung a wave of his scent while he follows his moving body. Jeongguk huffs and his hair flies up with it, landing in a messier state than before.
The conversation has lasted three seconds and he’s already annoyed.
Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Yeah, anyways, here’s what I’ve come up with.” He sits down on the barstool underneath the counter, facing him. “We’ve been dating for two weeks but we’ve known each other since we were kids because our moms are friends. We talked after a family lunch which turned into a few dates and here we are. Sounds good?”
He was hoping for a thumbs-up, expecting another half-hearted whatever, but instead, Taehyung gets something else.
“Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling everyone we used to–” Jeongguk pauses, looking to the ground and licking his bottom lip before speaking up again with a strangely confused and murky look in his eyes, “that we knew each other as kids?” He says quietly, with seemingly less annoyance than before.
Taehyung just shrugs. He already told Doeun so what’s the point in lying? “It’s the truth and if it helps people believe our story then yeah, fuck it.” If anything, people will find it cute. Everyone loves a friends to lovers trope after all. “Do you have a problem with that?” He asks.
The bitter notion that Jeongguk might be embarrassed by their friendship is a treacherous thought floating around Taehyung’s brain. It’s out of character for the Jeongguk that Taehyung remembers but it’s been years so maybe things have changed.
He earns a glare from the younger. “It was a problem for you, remember? 11th grade? Mr. Moon’s class?”
Taehyung’s jaw unhinges as his brain pulls a nasty memory from high school. One that he is now regretting.
He was on top of the world thanks to a boost in followers and his successful model debut in his mother’s show. People were obsessed with him and Taehyung wanted to keep that up until the end of high school. That could only be done by hanging out with the coolest people to make sure his own following never dropped. People whose parents were famous actresses, singers, directors, owners of huge companies. Everything was going just as he planned and Taehyung could not be happier.
Lo and behold, on the 1st day of 11th grade, he walks into Chemistry class and sees Jeongguk sitting at a table close to the back.
Taehyung remembers their eyes meeting awkwardly, how he sat at the table farthest from him and he remembers putting a note in Jeongguk’s locker asking him to pretend like they didn’t know each other.
He knows why he did it. It was out of fear that Jeongguk would come up to him and ask why they stopped being friends in front of Taehyung’s new group. He didn’t want to take that chance so he slipped that note in and went on with his life.
Eventually, this new friend group fell apart because it turns out that being friends with people for social media fame isn’t exactly the best way to form meaningful relationships! And he ended up finding Yoongi and Jimin who were high on the social ladder because of their family name but they were also sweet and good friends to him.
It was such a stupid teenage decision that Taehyung cringes at now but what can he do? Go back in time?
All he can do is try to fix it now.
“So you don’t care if people know we used to be friends?” Taehyung asks incredulously.
Jeongguk just shrugs, playing with the hem of his shirt. “It’s not like it really matters anymore.”
It doesn’t. Because they aren’t friends anymore.
Taehyung plays along, getting up from his seat as he speaks. “So you wouldn’t have cared if I told everyone about the Spiderman night light that you took to every sleepover and every trip and how hard you cried when the paint started peeling because you thought he wouldn’t be able to protect you from monsters?” He remembers having to hold him tight because Jeongguk couldn’t sleep for so long but Taehyung didn’t even mind. “Or what about that time your sister wanted to be a makeup artist and she practiced on you every night and turned you into Bibble from that Barbie movie because she said that was her least favorite character and you were annoying her?”
“I wouldn’t prefer it.” And for a second, Taehyung thinks he’s won against Jeongguk.
But Jeongguk speaks up once more. “Then again, I could let everyone know about how you threw up on your 7th birthday after eating an entire tub of vanilla ice cream and trying to dance along to a 2ne1 song or the time you accidentally knocked a waiter down to grab a pitcher of water because there was a pepper in your food. It’s your choice,” Jeongguk replies, shrugging like it’s nothing.
It’s no use trying to play this game against each other. They simply know way too much. All of the small details and the important ones. Each and every single embarrassing memory stored in an arsenal for future birthdays and weddings now being dusted in the inner caverns of their brains for this farce.
Taehyung wants to jab some more, pull up even more anecdotes to get Jeongguk blushing but nothing comes to mind, nothing good enough, and he wants to stop relying on their past as a way to hurt him.
It’s high time they move on from that, right?
“Fine,” he decides. His teeth press together for a moment. “We won’t reveal such personal details but for the sake of our story, let’s say we were acquaintances as kids.”
“Okay,” Jeongguk agrees surprisingly easily.
“Great. Now, we have to keep up with this story in real life and on social media. That’s where it really counts.” It’s where most people will see them. “So, once a week we’re going on a date and we will post cute pictures and stories,” Taehyung steamrolls before Jeongguk can open his mouth to protest, “and you and I will go to each other’s games for support.”
Last year, Hoseok was briefly dating this girl and Taehyung recalls constantly seeing her in the stands, wearing his shirt. It drew more attention to their relationship and Hoseok reached 9 million followers after that.
Of course, their breakup was super messy and public but that’s besides the point.
“You want to go out each week?” Taehyung nods at him. “Like what? A movie and dinner?”
“No, I want you to buy a private jet and take me to Italy so I can eat vongole pasta and see the Sistine Chapel,” he shakes his head at the stupid question, eyes rolling. “Obviously, movies or dinner are fine. And you’re coming to my first tennis game. I don’t care,” Taehyung adds because Jeongguk never responded to that.
“Jeez, you’re demanding,” he nearly shudders.
“Well, that’s how relationships work.” Not that Taehyung would really know but he’s rolling with it. “Come on, don’t tell me you lost all of your knowledge on dating after that phony activist dumped you.”
To Taehyung’s credit, his comment makes the smallest perk in Jeongguk’s lips only for a second. “I know how dating works but I don’t know how fake dating works. Jae never said I had to take him out every week.” He untucks his legs, spreading them out so he can get up and meet Taehyung’s stance. “Do I have to go to parties?”
Taehyung doesn’t even have to think about it. “Yes. There’s one tonight and we’re going to it.”
“Ugh, why?” Jeongguk whines. His face screws up in discomfort and that right there is an expression that Taehyung so fondly remembers. Despite his face changing with age, most of his features combine to make the most recognizable expressions.
“Don’t whine. I like going to parties.” And people are expecting them to be there together.
“Okay and I don’t,” he says, like it’s common knowledge you could find online.
Jeon Jeongguk: 20, Virgo, Blood type: A, major introvert.
Taehyung clicks his tongue in annoyance. “This entire thing happened because we were both at a party,” he points out.
“Yeah because Hobi forced me to go.” Jeongguk’s voice climbs a little. He steps closer to Taehyung, who is reminded that height and size cannot be used as points of intimidation against him.
Jeongguk is just as tall as him, just as broad, maybe stronger than him. There’s no point in trying to appear all big and bad because Taehyung can’t compete. The playing fields have been leveled so he opts for something else to get Jeongguk to shut up for once.
The kitchen, cold and already so large, feels like a small box when Jeongguk decreases the distance. Taehyung wants him to stay back.
“Great and now so am I.” He retorts.
Jeongguk shakes his head. “No, I don’t want to.” His arms are crossed over his chest so protectively when he tries to walk back to his room for safety but Taehyung doesn’t allow it.
Jeongguk cuts him off, already in defense mode. “You’ve decided literally everything so far and I’ve been okay with it because I’m trying to play fair but I’m not going to be your little plus one to these coke–infested shithole parties full of people who couldn’t give less of a fuck about me. I don’t care about parties or social status like you do,” he points a singular shaky finger at him.
Taehyung tries not to twist the accusation in his mind. He likes social gatherings, he likes talking and meeting people, and he’s always been effortless in these kinds of settings by bringing out his charm and looks.
Sure they can be tiring and sometimes he just wants to be alone, but he still loves it.
How is that a bad thing? How does that make him a bad person?
“People need to see us being in a relationship in order to think we’re together.” He tries to spell it out slowly for him.
“Oh please,” Jeongguk scoffs. “Jimin doesn’t force his boyfriend to go anywhere and everyone is fine with them. People can believe what they want from what we give them, we don’t have to go the extra mile just to prove it. It would seem like we’re trying too hard anyways.”
Nice move, bringing up Jimin and Yoongi but the stark difference between them is that their relationship is real. It doesn’t matter if people aren’t around to see them being all couple-y because their relationship is for them and only them.
Taehyung and Jeongguk have something to prove here.
“People should be jealous of us.” Jae should be jealous, he wants to say. He should regret hurting you.
Jeongguk should be happy. Taehyung came up with this plan to get back at Jae. Doesn’t he know how satisfying would it be to turn into this sociable ideal boyfriend with the person his ex hates the most?
Jeongguk’s arms drop, slapping his thighs. His eyes sparkle with something that Taehyung cannot fully process. “Why do you care so much about what people think?” He shoots back, clearly tired of fending for himself. “Is external validation that important where you feel like you have to whore yourself out at every social event possible?”
Taehyung pulls back a little. Each word combined to strike right at a deep rooted insecurity of his until he’s overcome with hurt. He feels himself become a little smaller, turning away from Jeongguk’s sharp gaze. The hard marble of the countertop presses against his back, grounding him, as whatever he was going to say next leaves his mind.
He’s long decided that there is nothing wrong with wanting to be liked. He’s someone who has been in the public eye for years now and he knows that there were people that were never going to like him but he learned that people could be swayed easily. Basking in likes, follows, cameras, magazine covers, horny men and attention is a good feeling. Reading comments about his good qualities, articles about his features, having men clamber to have a chance to spend one night with him, he loves it. It reminds him of all of his good, enviable, marketable qualities.
That’s not whoring himself out. That’s just being a normal person.
And he is sick and tired of other people weaponizing it. Just because they are bitter and lonely and sad.
“Fuck you, Jeongguk,” Taehyung spits out. His tone has lost all of its strength, leaving a vituperative, sad, deep one. “Just because I like going to parties doesn’t mean I’m whoring myself out for people.” His head turns away again. He does not want to give Jeongguk the pleasure of seeing his face. “Parties are fun.”
Whore. It’s been a while since someone has called him that. Most of the time it doesn’t bother him, especially because it’s coming from some loser he just had sex with who was mad they won’t get another chance.
But from Jeongguk? Yeah, it fucking stings.
A few seconds go by with Jeongguk going quiet. Taehyung hopes he’s forming the perfect words for an apology so that they can move on from this and go to this stupid party where everyone is expecting him.
Fuck, he doesn’t even want to go anymore thanks to Jeongguk’s little comment.
“People can get enough of us on Instagram. I’m not about to make myself uncomfortable for something that isn’t even real,” he mumbles, tucking some hair out of his face.
Taehyung scoffs.The hurt returns but this time in the form of petty anger. “So you’d do this for Jae, then? For a real relationship?” He doesn’t know why the thought bothers him so much but it does.
“He’d never make me,” Jeongguk argues back.
“What would you two do then?” Taehyung doesn’t actually care about the guy but he wants to know what Jeongguk did with him that makes him comfortable. It could just be a matter of getting him used to stuff. Then again, he isn’t much of a party-goer to begin with.
Jeongguk groans softly. “Like play video games, go to movies, make dinner together, take walks, I don’t know. We did the same shit I did with my friends,” he lists out.
Taehyung doesn’t think. He knows that these are actually pretty great ideas for their fake dates and that going to parties as a couple doesn’t really have to be one of them. But there’s anger rushing in his veins and he doesn’t care to think logically at the moment. His brain runs fully on petty irritation. “Yeah, no wonder you barely have any of those,” he mumbles under his breath.
Even if it’s the smallest bit, Taehyung wants Jeongguk to feel the pain he just felt after being called a whore. So he hits as below the belt as he can reach, to see if he can get a reaction, if he can hurt too.
“Nothing,” he shrugs, trying to play it off. Jeongguk doesn’t let him.
His shoulders widen and his face changes in a way that Taehyung is not used to. Furrowed brows with something dark brewing in his usually soft eyes. His gaze is almost lazy and demeaning, like he doesn’t even have the time to deal with Taehyung’s bullshit.
“No, you can say it out loud.” He’s inviting a fight that Taehyung doesn’t really want to participate in. “I don’t have any friends because I do boring shit, right? Cause I don’t go out and get shit-faced at every party I hear about.” Taehyung takes a step back again, turning away from Jeongguk’s heavy eyes. “Well, you didn’t seem so bored of me back then so what’s changed?”
His heart plummets down to his heels. Is it time? Are they finally going to talk about their friendship ending?
Is Taehyung finally going to explain what happened?
“Things have changed,” he dismisses it. This isn’t the time to be talking about this.
Taehyung turns away, specifically to his side to go back to his room, order delivery food and then hide under his covers for the rest of the day. But Jeongguk is hot on his trail, getting closer and closer. Taehyung can hear his steps padding on the floor until he is inches away from him but he doesn’t dare reach for his shoulder to turn him around.
“What changed?” His voice drops to a strained murmur. “One moment, we’re doing everything together then you’re dodging my calls and lying to me and ignoring me at parties. That can’t happen for no reason.”
Taehyung turns his head to the side, just enough to catch Jeongguk’s eyes. “I’m not talking about this right now,” the second attempt at brushing it off.
“Then when do we talk about it?” Jeongguk’s resolve finally breaks. “How long are we going to put off this conversation?” His eyes flash and change with his emotions, as Taehyung poked and prodded and demanded a reaction from him and he is regretting that decision greatly. “Do you have any idea how much it hurt? You were my best friend, we did everything together and then you just stopped talking to me. I don’t get it. What did I do wrong?”
His voice breaks and it becomes apparent to Taehyung just how much this split hurt him.
Which is precisely why he can’t tell him why he had to end their friendship.
He turns around fully to find Jeongguk staring at him with pleading and open eyes, begging for the truth.
“You don’t know what was happening at that time.”
“You never talked to me about it so how could I?” Taehyung watches his hands clench into fists in the pockets of his shorts and he cannot help but wonder if he is shoving his hands there to stop himself from pushing him.
“Just let it go. We were 13. There was no guarantee that we’d be having sleepovers forever. Things happen, people grow and change. Childhood friendships aren’t supposed to last,” he goes on.
“Yeah, because you squashed that chance.”
Taehyung swallows shakily. He can’t talk about this anymore. It’s bringing up all sorts of weird feelings mixed with nauseating guilt and it’s too much right now. He didn’t come out here to tell Jeongguk all of this. He came here to tell him about the party.
“Just tell me the truth.” Jeongguk’s voice goes back to that soft decibel and it’s getting harder for Taehyung to hold himself together. “You owe me that. If you’re gonna stay here with me, just tell me the truth now and I can finally move on from it and I won’t bring it up anymore..”
Taehyung doesn’t want to spill it out. What could he say? That Jeongguk did nothing wrong but it was his own fears driving his actions? That the thought of everyone leaving him like his father did still scars him?
It's so stupid and Taehyung isn’t ready to say it out loud.
To this day he still doesn’t get that close with people. Jimin and Yoongi know him but not as well as they could. Taehyung has different ways of acting around people and he’s been okay with that for a while now. Only he can protect himself and he’s the only person that really knows him. He doesn’t want to change everything because Jeongguk, the one person who really knew him, has now wormed his way back into his life.
Friendships end and sometimes, they don’t have to be rekindled. Taehyung and Jeongguk haven’t spoken in years.
And Taehyung is going to make sure it stays that way, thanks to that conversation he had with Doeun a few days ago.
“You were just–You were too much, okay! You were too needy.” He exasperates. The lie sits heavy in his mouth and it feels terribly wrong when he says it. Taehyung looks at the wall behind him so it’s less painful to say. “Always hanging around me and following me around like some pathetic little duckling. It was too much for me and I needed space so I cut you off,” lies, that’s not at all what happened, he keeps on lying. The worst version of him comes out and nips this stupid backstory right in the bud. “I wanted to do cooler things. I wanted to go out and actually have fun, not sit in your bedroom and play Legend of Zelda and eat your mom’s cookies all the time.”
Sure, he made new friends and he hung out with them all the time but Taehyung quickly learned those people weren’t Jeongguk. They were fun and more mature than him but they didn’t talk, they weren’t there for him, and they didn’t really care about him.
But it didn’t matter. It’s done. He and Jeongguk are done and by the time this three month fake relationship is over, they’ll go back to pretending like the other person doesn’t exist till the end of time.
Taehyung exhales shakily and focuses his eyes back on Jeongguk. His fingernails dig into his palm at the sight of Jeongguk’s glassy eyes, casted downwards, and how his entire frame which was just standing so proudly, collapses inwards like a wilting flower.
What have I done? What have I done?
“Thanks for being honest,” he mutters, Adam’s apple bobbing when he swallows.
The air was just zinging with fiery tension and now it’s completely bare. Even as the sun shines and the sounds of people flutter in from the window, the apartment feels cold and empty and desolate.
“You asked for it.” Taehyung tries to reason despite the reasonable voice in his head screaming in frustration that he’s just worsening it with every word that drops out of his mouth.
Jeongguk shakes his hair out his eyes. “I know, I did.” His shoulders rise and then sag with an exhale. He was carrying so much tension just now and it’s all gone and replaced with something else.
This isn’t what Taehyung wanted.
“Look if this is going to affect the deal–”
Jeongguk cuts him off. “It won’t. It’s fine. I’m over it.” Quickly, he turns around before Taehyung can say anything else.
His footsteps pound against the floor and it’s the last thing Taehyung gets to hear before the door slams shut. Then he is accompanied by nothing else but the eerie silence of their apartment along with the fading smell of the candle.
And he immediately regrets everything he just did.
