“Ayo do you wanna be? Ghost B!” Jiho screams excitedly, pulling a peace sign, everyone joining in with a “We are the GhostBusters, whaddup!” the gang tops it off with a very un-coordinated bow. Taeil doesn't bow, of course.
What a dumb way to start a ghost hunting show, Kyung thinks.
Jiho's amazingly overdramatic narration time:
'My name is Woo 'Zico' Jiho, lead investigator of Ghost B. I didn't believe in ghosts until I came face-to-face with one. So I set out on a quest to capture what I once saw onto video. [cue over-dramatic walking videos of all the crew members in various scary places]
Our crew has worked years to build our credibility, our reputation...'
“Bitch, we've been ghost hunting for two weeks, what the fuck are you talking about?!” Minhyuk is already pissed off.
'Working alongside the most renowned professionals in the field, catching groundbreaking proof of the paranormal. This is our evidence, our GhostB, Ghost Bustin.'
“Yo, guys, so we're here at the Waverly Hills sanatorium, in Kentucky. The sanatorium opened in 1910 and a two-story hospital to accommodate 50 Tuberculosis patients. After an outbreak of tuberculosis the number of patients reached to thousands...” The whole time Jiho keeps throwing in rap hand motions and information about the bat-winged building that has an underground morgue to get rid of dead bodies when it was being used.
They all stand in the outer wing of the building with the owner, asking her questions and all that jazz until a moth flies into Jihoon's mouth, the sound guy heaving the biggest and loudest squeal of all times, echoing throughout the building. Birds fly away from the noise in one giant flock like in horror movies. The sanatorium actually shakes.
There are other interviews as well but none that end as hilariously as the former.
They show some disgusting fake videos of open-chest surgeries they did in the sanatorium. Ew.
Apparently there's some compelling ghost photos and EVP-s and stuff that's been captured on the premises. Scary shit.
They do a full check no 2 of all the equipment for the shoot the day before (the first check is usually before they take off but Kyung manages to misplace half their stuff every time):
-8 cameras for Taeil and Ukwon with badass night vision
-10 thermal cameras to scan temperature changes
-2 digital recorders for EVP-s aka electronic voice phenomena, aka ghosties talking to them
-5 EMF detectors that detect changes in electronic fields, aka ghosties walking past will make the lights on them blink and ayyyyy TRANCE PARTY UP IN THIS JOINT UNTS UNTS UNTS i mean what who wrote that
-Spirit box, the ghostie goo can use radio frequencies to answer questions. Unnecessarily loud crap, and to be completely honest, half the time Kyung doesn't understand what is says anyway
-Shit ton of extra batteries and Taeil's custom-built battery carrier vest (cause that small man is the biggest camera nerd)
-200 kilometers of wires that mostly lead nowhere (some to the end of a microphone). 'Jihoon, darling, please' Kyung starts all sweet, a little motherly 'you need to fuckin' clean this shit up before someone gets tangled in these vines and dies, seriously.'
“Look at this, man, I can wiggle wiggle wiggle” Taeil does The Wiggle, “and the picture on the camera stays completely still, this new video stabilizer so fuckin awesome.” He shudders in excitement for their new cameras.
“I swear you look like you would come at any second.” Ukwon looks 50% understanding, 50% disturbed, looking at their main camera guy.
..
The evening after their initial shoot day with the interviews is always spent at a nearby bar.
“You heard about the creeper, though? The black creature who crawls in the dark like all over the walls n shit and kills the shit out of you? And there's supposed to be a doppelganger that's a demon that takes your shape and if you see it, you die?” Jiho is getting super excited about their lockdown already.
“Dude, I don't wanna hear about it!” Jaehyo covers his ears singing Mary Had a Little Lamb loudly.
“To be honest, I don't even know what Minhyuk's part in the crew even is. I'm pretty sure he's possessed by a ghost... I guess it makes sense he'd join us...” Kyung ponders a little, looking like he doesn't really care (he really doesn't, as long as he's Jiho's right hand man and doesn't get forced to go on solo trips to the creepiest parts of the haunted buildings).
Taeil meh's at that, sipping on his beer. The holy meh of agreement.
“Holy shit, why did I join this crew, I am fuckin terrified of ghosts???” Jihoon sits at the bar stool, kinda talking to Ukwon, kinda to himself, on the verge of an existential crisis. He's holding onto his head with both hands, rocking himself.
“Cause you're in love with Taeil and would follow him to the debts of hell? Aka this place?” Ukwon suggests, a small smile on his lips.
“Yeah.. - Uh-- What?”
“What?” the older of the two suggests, this little knowing smile on his lips.
Taeil joins them, putting an arm around Jihoon and he's like, fuck, Ukwon is right.
..
“Here we are, at the sanatorium, ready for our lockdown, bros.” Jiho is ready to do the do, “So let's gear up and have fun, kids!” Jiho always gives them a pep talk before they start their main shoot.
The first 30 minutes is spent putting up the cameras by Taeil, Jihoon tagging close by with all the wires, Ukwon setting up EMF detectors on the 4th floor, the outer part of the hospital wings where the creeper is supposed to hang out with his ghostie buddies; and two thermal cameras into the morgue (knowing Jiho he's probably gonna force some of the scaredy cats from the crew to go there alone).
“SHIT IT'S THE CREEPER!!!!!!!” It starts from Jaehyo, then Ukwon, then Minhyuk, then Jihoon and Jiho, then Kyung: they are all running towards their base camp and screaming at the top of their lungs.
The creeper is Lee Taeil. Of course. Makes sense. That little creep.
“Fuckin' stop lurkin' around, bro, holy shitballs.” Jiho holds onto his heart, pulling out his asthma inhaler.
“You told me to do the fuckin thermal sweep of the whole fuckin building, you moron.” Taeil growls back at him, violently wigging the two cameras in his hands for good measure.
Roll the cameras.
“Here we are!” Jiho screams to no one particular, probs the ghosties. It echoes throughout the building eerily.
Oh, that's a nice introduction, Kyung thinks.
“Come and say hello!” He's still lookin around, “Use our energy!” Jiho has his arms wide in front of him, twirling around,
Don't.. don't start taunting, please, Kyung begs in his mind.
“Do something to us! Hit Kyung!” Jiho motions to his right hand man.
Now, why you gotta say that? Kyung sends his bitchiest glare towards Jiho. Also a couple of curses.
Nothing happens for 5 minutes but Jiho insists they stand there with their recording devices in hand.
Another 10 minutes goes by and Jiho is getting pissed off. He decides they should split in pairs.
..
Jiho walks around for a full hour with Kyung until he decides they should go to their base where their tech guy Jihoon is currently sitting to see if he'd caught anything.
They are monitoring a video on the fifth floor, when they notice Minhyuk waLKING BACKWARDS ON THE LEFT OF THE SHOOT TOWARDS THE CAMERA, you can see only the whites of his eyes as he gurgles violently, standing in front of the camera for a full 3 minutes.
“Dude, stop acting like you've been possessed, man..” Jiho says into the walkie-talkie, he's so tired and in desperate need for a shower and 4 episodes of his favourite Hello Kitty show.
Minhyuk stops and walks away like nothing happened.
..
Ukwon has been walking alone on the first floor and catches an orange orb floating. He sends a message through his walkie talkie and Jiho gets super pumped up again. They all gather in the monitoring tent to marvel the finding:
“DUUUDEEE!”
“WOWW”
“BROOO, DID YOU SEE THAT, DUDE?”
“MANNNN”
“HOLY SHIT DUDES, THIS IS GREAT--”
“FUCK, BROS”
“YEAH BABE, DID YOU SEE THA-- I mean Jihoon did you see that???” Taeil hides behind his giant camera, Jihoon whines an answer.
..
2 hours into the investigation Taeil realizes he's been walking around with a camera with no power in it and the others have to hold him down to prevent him from throwing the camera out of the non-glassed window and 10 meters downwards onto the pavement.
..
“Okay, my dudes. It's time to take some action. Let's draw strings to see who gets locked up alone upstairs. We gotta get some good action so we'll get some views, bros.” Jiho says, pulling out the strings.
Jihoon looses. He always does. He's staring to think the string-drawing is rigged.
The tall manbaby has a face camera and an extra camera with him, you can see him panting and sweating in horror, mumbling 'omajgad' under his breath as he sits in the corner of the most haunted room of the whole sanatorium.
Jiho asks him to walk around and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NOT TO BREATHE SO LOUDLY
All you see is a crying Jihoon in green night vision, carefully walking around, three cameras on him.
There's a THUMP, then a weeping sound and a loud crash. The camera in Jihoon's hand shakes and falls. It's pitch black. The still cameras Ukwon had set up are too far to record anything.
Nobody even breathes, eyes wild and scared like saucers in the monitoring tent. Then Taeil shoots out of his chair, knocks over Ukwon and Kyung, speeds out of the tent to the attic to save his man child boyfriend person WE ARE NO DATING he yells but that gets edited out by Kyung and the only part of him running that is left in is Kyung cooing “ahh~ young love~”.
After a couple of minutes of excruciating silence, Taeil emerges from the darkness carrying Jihoon over his shoulders like he's a fluffy winter scarf. An almost 2 meter passed-out scarf.
Poor man got hit in the head with a small rock (that was definitely thrown by a ghost!!) and fell like a dumbass, passing out.
“Hyungs, I think I actually peed my pants before I passed out. Like at least a couple drops..” Jihoon is holding onto a chair to catch his breath.
..
“Now, that went super well, let's send Jaehyo to the morgue alone!” Jiho is as hyper as ever.
“Fuck, you can't make me go there alone!” there are actual tears in Jaehyo's eyes.
“Yes, I can, I'm the boss around here!” Jiho angrily whispers back at him.
Kyung beames, he's still the right hand man and Jiho defs wouldn't do something like that to him.
Next thing we see, Jaehyo is in the morgue.
He sits on a chair next to the fire places a couple minutes until he hears a creaking sound. Like a door opening.
“Oh my god.. Oh my god oh my god oh my goddd. I am too gorgeous and too young to die! I haven't lived long enough to see Zico's and Kyung's kids!” Jaehyo is now in the corner of the room kneeling and praying.
Everyone in their base camp is closely monitoring what Jaehyo is up to and holding in their laughter, Jiho's and Kyung's faces beet red.
Jaehyo sees a giant shadow move from the farther side of the room towards him and completely loses his shit
“I AM FUCKING QUITTING THIS JOB RIGHT NOW!” Jaehyo storms out of the sanatorium.
“Bitch did not just do that.” Minhyuk is amazed their self-proclaimed 'fuckin gorgeous guy' actually has balls.
“I hope he doesn't take the car--” Ukwon starts, they hear the engine of their van turn on and the scraping of pavement until the sound dissolves into the echoes of dead forest around them.
..
Taeil looks disgustingly old all of a sudden: “We should just quit and become like a boyband or some shit before it's too late.” They all look into the camera like in The Office.
