#talking is important

[emaaa3210]

I've said it before and I'll say it again:

Communocation is the main key for great relationship🥰🥰❤❤💜💜💜

PS: that kiss was kinda sweet😚😚❤

[omensvessel]

i just dropped two long-term (neurotypical) “best” friends of mine because apparently they thought our friendships were incredibly toxic from my end and they were deeply unhappy to the point where they ghosted me for months, without ever telling me what i did wrong until the last fucking second

(which, by the way, only ONE of the two actually said what they thought went wrong. the other just said “i don’t even think you know why the friendship was toxic” NO FUCKING SHIT. YOU DIDNT TELL ME?)

so i guess another hot take of mine is that if you’re unhappy with something i’m doing but you won’t tell me, i didn’t fucking do anything wrong and i will not be held accountable for something that made you upset but you didn’t tell me about

i am not a mind reader. i cannot know something that YOU are feeling unless you tell me. if you won’t do that and still complain that the friendship was toxic, you are immature as fuck and do not deserve my time of day, or anyone’s for that matter

i told both of them that i am autistic and need to be told explicitly when i’m doing something that bothers them. if they don’t communicate, i’m not the one at fault. if they’re wishy-washy in the way they tell me (as in, not literally “xyz that you’re doing makes me uncomfortable/upset/unhappy. please stop”), i will not understand it and therefore won’t correct it

MULTIPLE other friends i’ve had have told me when i fuck up. i take accountability for it. i apologise, i fix my damn behaviour, and i make sure that the way i fixed it is okay with them. if it’s not, i repeat that until i get it right. those friendships have lasted from ages 7, 8, 9 or younger. they’re neurodivergent like me. they understand that communication is something you have to fucking do if you value a relationship

for ALL of my friendships, i have been open when i’m made upset by something that the person did. only SOME of my friends had corrected their mistakes. like for example when one of the friends mentioned here LITERALLY CHOKED ME UNTIL I NEARLY FAINTED, i told him “that was not fucking okay. do not ever put your hands or arms near my neck again”. did he listen? no, he did it again a few days later.

and when i told my other friends “(name) did this to me. i do not feel safe around him, and i feel extremely uncomfortable knowing that all my friends are close with him. i’m not asking you to stop being friends with him, but can we please avoid him when we’re hanging out?” all of them EXCEPT the other friend i mentioned in the beginning agreed to do that for me. because they are good friends. and they support me, and i support them. i have dropped and limited contact with long-term friends because they made my other friends uncomfortable. because that’s what good friends do.

you cannot expect your friends to know every thought and feeling that goes through your head. i am sick to fucking death of being blamed for mistakes THAT I WAS NOT MADE AWARE OF.

if you can’t tell your “friend” that they’re doing something that upsets you, you shouldn’t have deep relationships. it’s shitty fucking behaviour and you will lose friends over it.

i am so fucking glad i’m out of high school but i know most adults cant fucking communicate either so just fuck me i guess

[heyimboredtalktome]

hey I have a question, if you don’t mind.

I have a friend (who I’m just going to call X). X uses the neopronouns babe/babes. Now because of the word of the neopronouns, as an aroace I feel kinda uncomfortable using them for X, due to the very obvious connotations they may have. I feel so awful about this, but how is it offensive if I ask to use gender neutral/other pronouns for X, and how do I go about it? Please help.

hmm I think you should talk to your friend about this, just ask whether X is okay with you using other pronouns or ask X if there are any other pronouns they're comfortable with

[jaimajuju]

And I don’t think it would be as bad if you hadn’t have told me I was the most beautiful girl in the universe. Although, you never did tell me I had a beautiful mind, or a beautiful way with words, or that my intelligence captivated you. You never even said I was your favorite person to talk to because we didn’t talk enough. The words weren’t there, so the love had nothing to hang on to. It climbed and fought for its place in our hearts but the soul is a slippery place when it has no anchors in sentences. So little by little the love fell through your ribs and down your spine and escaped through pores on your knees. The knees that would never touch the floor and ask me to be yours forever, or beg me to stay like I thought they would. But one day those knees will be old and weak, and they will have seen the world in all its ways. And they’ll fall forward finally, under the pressure of one too many hard days- and I hope for just one instant, you’ll remember.. I would have caught you if you’d asked.

something I wrote forever ago about the day you left & what we lacked

[blueberryfox14]

This is just a PSA but please please talk to people if you have a problem with them or upset them. Its scary I know but you have to do it. Communication is a founding factor in any sort of relationship. Also please do it in person or at least phone call. Text can make certain emotions and emphasis lost. I have anxiety and I understand but we can not assume technology will solve all of our problems. Thank you. >///<

[smol-owl-bean]

I'm feeling okay today.. the skies aren't as grey and the silence isn't so loud. I hope tomorrow will be better too..

[plusquejamais]

did we need a celebrity to die to get everyone talking about depression?