As an introvert at Williams, I find myself constantly forgetting how stressful even mundane social interactions can be here. Watching the attached video this summer reminded me of how long it has taken to find a way of engaging with other members of campus that fulfills my emotional needs while also respecting my aversion to over-stimulation.
I am fortunate that it doesn’t take me long to get accustomed to the quotidian college routine. But every once in awhile a Friday rolls around and a friend asks “Is anyone going out tonight?” I’ll think to myself, hmm, it’s been a while since I ‘went out’, why not? The following sequence of events occurs like clockwork: Attend party. Attempt to seek out people I know. Begin to feel awkward not dancing or talking. I finally find someone I know, but the first thing I say comes out wrong so I excuse myself to the bathroom or water fountain then dip out of the area. Twenty minutes later I am back in my room hating myself for having ventured out, for not being able to talk to my peers or even my close friends like a normal human being, and for feeling like I’m squandering my youth.
I often blame it on the noise or the crowds. “I’m a small group person” I tell myself. But I don’t think that’s it either. I think the truth of the matter is that at Williams it’s too easy for us to slip into the academic routine and neglect social and emotional needs. Last year I talked with a friend about this problem, and one of their recommendations was to practice my interpersonal relationship skills by putting myself in situations of “optimal anxiety.”
Here are some solutions that have worked for me:
Reach out! A great place to start out is by talking with other people about social anxiety. Williams has a number of excellent counselors in Psychological Services
Exercise with a friend.
Group studying. This one can be rewarding, but it is also difficult to pull off effectively.
Don’t overthink. All too often I find myself wanting to cling on to how I want things to go instead of trying to accommodate unforeseen situations and circumstances.
- Anonymous