What's Up With...
…dudes who talk to their significant other like they hate them???
I overheard a couple talking the other day when I was out ’n’ about. This lady was talking about SOMETHING (I honestly don’t remember what), and then her fella just starts talking to her in a way that I can not describe other than - it was like he was hitting her with his words.
The lady was talking about something before I had walked alongside them. I don’t recall what she said as I was walking up nearby them, but it was pretty much her just stating that she’s in the know, she’s aware of what’s goin’ on, she’s in the loop.. that kinda vibe. I was like, “Alright”, and things seemed pretty normal as we’re all just walkin’ like people do. ..Your everyday vibe, right? Folks just walkin’ alongside each other temporarily, right?..
..WRONG.
I don’t know what caused this vibe, but when I overheard this dude speak back to this lady (they both seemed like they were in their 20’s; guessing), it sounded like he had something he really wanted to say underneath whatever it was he was saying.. This guy literally told his lady, “That’s why you gotta shut off that TikTok. You’ve been watching too much of that..” (something like that)
THE WAY THIS MAN WAS CALMLY HITTING THIS WOMAN WITH HIS WORDS WAS OFFENSIVE TO ME. I was like..dude..Why do you hate her so much?
I understand that bickering happens. Anyone who has ever been in a healthy relationship with someone they truly care about will still have this happen in a relationship (I don’t care who you are, every couple bickers with each other; that’s a part of being in a relationship sometimes). So, I get that..
..but this was something different. This was not bickering. This was a man who sounded like he could not hit his woman because they were out in public (God only knows). I was like, WHOA..SOMEBODY DOESN’T LIKE HIS LADY READING BOOKS AND KNOWING THINGS..SOMEBODY DOES NOT LIKE HIS LADY LEARNING THINGS AND TALKING ABOUT IT WITH HIM.. SOMEBODY DOES NOT LIKE HIS WOMAN KNOWING ABOUT THE WORLD (I’m being a wise-ass, but you get the picture).
Have you ever heard someone talk aggressively towards someone like that??..it’s like.. not passive aggressive.. it’s speech that is dripping with resentment & anger… I’m like dude I can tell you don’t want your loved one to learn things outside of your bubble-of-abuse, because you sound like an abusive person.
When someone is speaking at you like they’re hitting you with their words.. that’s when you know you’ve got an abusive person.
More importantly: Ladies, don’t take that shit. If you’re in a relationship with someone who talks to you like they have a “punchy” delivery with their words - Tell them to check their fucking tone of voice, because I don’t give a fuck how good or bad your relationship feels in that moment - you don’t ever talk to a woman that way.
She was like TOTALLY cool and her vibe was not off at all - she seemed like she was having a normal, upbeat conversation, and he sounded like he was trying to control her. Again, this was merely a snapshot, I did not hear more than just that ugly communication style (seriously sounded like he was punchin’ each word at her; the delivery was very aggressive, like he sounded like he was pissed off at her for WHATEVER it was she had seen online).
I’m like DUDE PUT DOWN THE PODCASTS OF DUDES TELLING YOU THAT YOU HAVE TO SOUND LIKE AN AGGRESSIVE ASSHOLE TO BE A MAN. THOSE ARE LITTLE BITCH BOYS TRYING TO POSE AS MEN. THE REAL MEN TREAT OTHERS WITH RESPECT & KINDNESS.
If you’re a man and you’re reading this: Please consider speaking to women with more kindness & understanding (and let’s mind the tone; this is something we all have to learn, so it can be done). How would you feel if someone spoke to you that way (Like they were trying to hit you with their words because they could not hit you with their fists)? How would you like it if I came up to you and started talking to you like that, too???
Just a friendly reminder: A little bit of kindness goes a long way.