#tamarachanene

[tuh-mair-ruh]

[thelustful]

If I told you that a flower bloomed in a dark room would you trust it? 🌺

[thelustful]

Happy Big Girl Appreciation Day! 💋

[thelustful]

I don't need anyone to complete me. I need someone who will make me a better me.

[thelustful]

It’s very discouraging when nothing seems to go right. When you are constantly trying what seems to be the hardest that you can. When you are afraid to accept little things that’ll make you happy because you know it’s just going to end the same way that everything else has ended. Very hurtful. I’m at the point in my life where I just want to give up but I continue to push myself to strive harder for anything I want. Yes, that is always good but it feels like when I take one step forward I get knocked down ten. Life is challenging enough, but when you always feel alone or lonely it’s way worse. Living in a world set up for me to fail, I pray to God that I make it.

[thelustful]

This past week I've learned that it's so easy to grow apart from the people you once called 'best friend'

[thelustful]

Happy Big Girl Appreciation Day! 💋

[thelustful]

Feelings.

I think it's really hard being me. I mean not life wise because I have a good life sort of, and I know there is people out there in the world who have it way worse than I do. I personally hold a lot of stuff in. Growing up I found that my biggest fear is being judged. I know it's impossible not to be judge because there is always going to be someone you meet or who sees you that Is going to judge you but still.. I hate it! Which is part of the reason I hold my feelings and stuff in. When I thought I had actual real friends I could say stuff to and them not judge me even if I was playing around it not, I was proven wrong. So I feel alone. I know there may be people out there willing to listen, but since the people I called my 'best friends' judged me i feel as if there in no point in trying to find to listen to me or my problems. Truthfully i feel trapped inside of my body. The person inside wants to come out, but i just will not let it. I am very soft spoken every since i got into middle school. Before middle school I didn't give a shit but now it seems like I'm always worried about what other people think. I know i should not care but I do. I feel as if I am there for other people when they are having problems, but when it comes to my problems I shut them out so I feel better. On the outside I am always happy and put together, but on the inside I'm an emotional wreck who is letting my feelings get the best of me. I wish that I could find one person I could talk to about anything. Maybe it will come true and I can become the person I was before and be who I want to be.