Tattered Heart
I was someone who didn’t date much....well actually not at all until I was 30. I always told myself that if I waited to date that I would have less of a broken and pieced back together heart to present to my forever one. As I was journaling today I realized that it didn’t work. I haven’t found my forever one yet, but the search has left my heart in pieces over and over again.
In reminiscing with a friend this week, I was reminded of the burden and gift of being a deep feeler. When you are in the moment and experiencing something with the depth of your emotions, there is nothing like it! The flip side is that when its hard it is also the depth of those emotions of grief. Some of my heartbreaks seem to take a hold and I’m unable to repair the damage or find that small last piece to glue or tape myself back together.
While the pain is searing, it only means that I loved deeply. I actually don’t know how to love any other way. I have tried and failed miserably. I fall deep and I fall quick. No matter how many times I tell my heart to wait or hold off until all of the signs are there. It doesn’t matter, because this heart of mine longs to love and be loved. At the end of any type of relationship end, I am assured that I loved well and I loved deeply as I honored the relationship. Loving deeply is something that brings me a lot of JOY. The ability to love deeply and fully is one of my superpowers.
The funny thing is that I thought having a tattered heart would be the worst thing to present, but today I’m grateful that no amount of scars or hurt keeps me from loving people in my life deeply. Even in times like we’re in where pain seems at every corner, depth of love is still possible. Pain doesn’t have to stop us from loving deeply, that is where courage begins!
Till next time in the #joyfuldeepend
