𝖦𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖧𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗌 ~ 𝖭𝖺𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗂𝖾 𝖲𝖼𝖺𝗍𝗈𝗋𝖼𝖼𝗂𝗈
main masterlist
requested by sockiess
Warnings: Brief Suggestive Themes, Kinda Mean Girl!Jackie (To Natalie), Slight Overprotective Sister!Jackie, Some Cursing, Character Death (of Hypothermia), Pure Angst Overall, Slight!OOC!Natalie, Implications of Cheating, Mentions of Slut-Shaming, Some Unprecedented Shauna Hate, Reasonable Outbursts, Dealing with Grief and Losses, Violence & Grief, Grieving Process, Tiny Mention of Self-Starvation, Total Couple Goals, Light Discussion of Family Issues & Kinda Bittersweet Ending
Pairings: Girlfriend!Natalie x Taylor!Girlfriend!Reader, Sister!Jackie x Sister!Reader, Platonic!Yellowjackets x Platonic!Reader
Synopsis: On the verge of your fading relationship with Natalie and dealing with Jackie’s death overwhelms you deeply. Luckily Natalie can put aside her differences and console you in your grieving process.
Word Count: 6.0k+
Author’s Note: This was originally supposed to be a short headcannon but obviously that didn’t happen. I hope you like this @sockiess and tell me your feedback!
Author’s Note (2): Mari is our BFF because her death was so brutal and devastating (I loved our #1 Shauna hater). Another thing, since my writing is specified for BLACK!fem!readers, I’d have to ask if we could keep the pairings to me, if that makes sense!
Since Doomcoming night, everyone’s been acting weird, unlike their usual attitude. Waking up alongside Natalie on the cabin porch, cuddled up together as the other girls stumbled upon you two. It was a rude and effective awakening, slowly sobering off the mushrooms mixed stew. Now your dress was ruined by specks of dirt, and body littered in dark hickeys as you tiredly stood up.
Doomcoming night was unpredictable, wild, and chaotic. Travis was almost sacrificed with Shauna’s knife pressed against his throat and Lottie being the ringleader. Meanwhile, the other girls were doing whatever and you were looking for Natalie after she vanished from your drunken sexcapade.
It was only a matter of time before that aloofness broke and confrontations began. Surprisingly, the first ones to break were Jackie and Shauna, for another different reason.
Questions were exchanged, suspicions raised, and hesitant glances made. The sudden tension in the cabin paled in contrast to the burning fireplace keeping everyone warm.
Most of the girls had taken a side, indirectly choosing Shauna over your sister Jackie. You had spoken up, defending Jackie but it was no use, your sister made up her mind, entirely determined to keep her pride.
The door slam echoed through your head, the creepy cabin warning something more dangerous was afoot. Perhaps that worry seeped into Natalie’s absence from dinner tonight, despite being aware of her whereabouts.
Despite your protests and many attempts to lure her back inside the cabin– to safety and warmth. She blatantly refused, telling you to stay inside the cabin. Her mutterings were quiet enough to decipher being directed towards Shauna– the cold disappointment being a dead giveaway.
As Jackie got settled outside, given up on creating a small fire, her pruny figure was covered with a thin blanket. Her ears perked up from the door opening and immediately noticed you walking over.
Quicker than she realizes, an exasperated sigh passes her lips, recognizing the bunched-up blanket in your arms, “Stop worrying, Y/N, I’ll be fine,” Her reassuring tone fell on deaf ears, watching you sit beside her, increasing your concern.
You sighed, handing over the blanket, “Take this,”
“What are you doing?” She blinks with a puzzled expression, letting the blanket drop on her.
Jackie awkwardly shuffles, readjusting the blanket over her shoulders, “Keep it, me and Natalie can share,”
“Speaking of Natalie, where is she?” The honey-brown-haired girl quickly scoured the cabin site.
“She should be here by now,” You frowned, copying Jackie’s curious glances around the cabinsite. Her absence was also noted during the confrontation, “Mari told me she was helping Travis look for Javi,”
“Don’t you think that’s weird, Y/N?”
“No, stop making me doubt Nat’s loyalty.” You stood up, dissolving any negative thoughts conjuring up.
To say Jackie wasn’t pleased with you dating Natalie was a huge understatement. Every chance she had, whether it was a judging look or snide comment, criticizing your beloved girlfriend. Natalie was certain if Jackie wasn’t related to you, she wouldn’t have cared at all. But she did, you two were sisters, giving Jackie false entitlement to being critical towards Natalie.
“I’m just saying…she’s not your ideal girlfriend. She avoids you Doomcoming night, to do what? Get high or drunk? Did she even explain her sudden disappearance?”
Truth be told, Natalie did mysteriously vanish after your private time, claiming to overhear howling in the distance.
Yet, not feeding into Jackie’s biased assumptions against Natalie wasn’t tempting enough. Right now, Jackie can barely bite off more than she chews, trying to handle not being wilderness material, unlike everyone else’s quick adaptability.
“But she was there when we saved you,” You rebutted, grateful for your quick thinking. Sure, Natalie had her little moments, but you didn’t mind it.
“Remind me, who’s rescue did she go to after that?”
“Travis…?” You sighed, getting quite exhausted from her constant meddling. That little interaction meant nothing compared to yours, Natalie assured you after noticing that familiar sight of insecurity in your drunken expression. Safe to say, she actively engaged in physical aspects, further clarifying her devotion to you. And only you. “You’re absurd, the other girls were ready to kill him.”
Scoffing in offense with an irritated eye roll, you crossed your arms, “I believe and I love Nat,”
“I’m not questioning your love for her.”
Sure feels like it.
“You could do better is all I’m saying,” She shrugged.
“I’m dating Natalie, deal with it.”
“Fine, fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Don’t act like I didn’t warn you about Jeff and his sleazy behavior.”
“Leave Jeff out of this!”
“That’s because you don’t like Jeff. I love Natalie with my whole heart,”
“You’re so in love it makes me sick,” She fake wretches, eliciting giggles from you.
You leaned down, crouching slightly to hug her tightly from behind.
“I love you, Jackie,” You breathed in her scent, face covered in the array of her messy hair. Pressing your nose against her hair, you continued, muffling slightly, “Just please try to understand that Natalie’s my girlfriend, and this is my relationship, not yours.”
“Love you too, sis,” She mumbled with a small smile, patting the arm across her chest. “Now go, your burnout needs her cuddle buddy,”
“Stop calling Nat, a burnout,” You scoffed, standing up again.
“Tell her to stop smoking and drinking then I will,” She retorts, exchanging a skeptical glance before briefly nodding, “Seriously, if you truly love Natalie, I guess I could lessen the crude remarks and stop my sisterly meddling.”
A pleased smile curls onto your face, “Great. Night Jaxs.”
“Night, Y/N.”
Emerging from the night darkness, Natalie and Travis made their presence known, slowly trudging forward.
Both Taylor girls noticed the dejected expression plastered on Travis’ face. Still returned empty-handed and one less Martinez sibling down. Javi was out there, possibly lost and scared. All alone without the comfort of the cabin and company.
Travis barely acknowledged the sisters, disappearing into the cabin as Natalie looked on.
“I was just looking for you,” Your girlfriend exhales in relief, closing the distance between you two.
“You’re safe, right?”
“Oh, yeah. No luck with Javi though.”
“Sure that’s all you two were doing out there?” Jackie’s accusatory tone cut sharp through the chilly air. “Looking for Javi?”
You nudged her, glaring at the ulterior motive behind her words.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Natalie scowled, irritation flashing through her eyes.
“Let’s just talk, in private.” Before Natalie could disagree and start a potential fight, you grabbed her wrist, tugging her closer to the cabin porch.
“I can’t stand Jackie sometimes, why does she have this uptight vendetta against me?”
“Maybe because you’re sleeping with her sister,” You countered, resting your arms on her shoulders.
“Oh, I know that I just love to piss her off,” She smirked, entrapping you by the waist, pulling you closer.
“Anyways…you two need to learn to get along. It’s quite tiring playing peacemaker all the time.”
“For you, I can try. Besides, why is Jackie sleeping outside?”
An eye roll never goes old, “Turns out Shauna was fucking Jeff behind Jackie’s back,”
“Makes sense,”
“So…what took you and Travis so long?” You hesitantly asked, crossing your arms. The sudden curiosity piqued your honesty, even though it felt ridiculous to question.
“Umm,” She blew a breath, “We started talking, I guess, about the chance of being rescued and other shit,”
“You wouldn’t cheat on me, right?”
Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “What?”
“It’s just that you and Travis were gone a really long time and Jackie implied that–“ A meek explanation is drawn and immediately ruins Natalie’s admirable gaze set on you.
“Wait– Jackie put those words in your head and you immediately believe her?!”
For a moment, you’re taken aback by the sudden change in her demeanor. Yet, your tone remained the same, gentle and understanding. Then again, your fading trust made her feel worse like she wasn’t loyal enough to be a good girlfriend to you.
Even when Travis publicly humiliated her or Jackie’s snide slut-shaming remarks irked her beyond measure, your defenses were loud and shutting those insults down. Nobody else defended her like you before. So proudly and openly, not regretting anything.
“No, I don’t, Nat.” You swallowed nervously, your tone sounding guilty but your mind thinks otherwise.
“Yes, you fucking do! All this time, I thought you were nothing like Jackie. Sure she had her reasons for not liking me but she didn’t sugarcoat it.” Natalie breathes out, disbelief and hurt mixing in her tone as you wince in guilt. “But you, I didn’t think I’d have to convince my fucking girlfriend to trust I didn’t cheat on her.”
“Nat, I’m sorry. I think tensions are a bit high,” Your hand stretched out to grab onto her hand.
“No, no,” She backed away, completely dismissing your touch altogether. You flinched at her hurt expression, the guilt lurching in your stomach, “If you obviously believe Jackie’s words over mine without any hesitation, then what kind of girlfriend are you?”
“…What are you saying, Nat?” Another voice crack followed, as you weakly swallowed the lump in your throat.
This isn’t happening right now?! Is she breaking up with–?!
“Are you breaking up with me, Nat?” Your mouth moved faster than your mind, clinging to the desperate thought of this being an exaggeration. But it wasn’t, not a twitch of a smile gave her away. The seriousness of this conversation matched her stoic expression.
She exhales softly, shifting her posture, “No, but I need some time by myself,” Her words were empty and cold, returning to her common demeanor. Just like everyone else, you received the monotone and sarcastic responses, no longer being the only exception to her endearing tone.
You cleared your throat, heartbeat erratically speeding up as the dread settled in your bones, “For how long?”
She blatantly shrugged, completely avoiding your gaze. “I’m not sure,”
Oh…her statement hurt even worse.
Even with a simple glance, she’d crack from the complexity, and be profusely devoted to you. For once, she fought against your compelling gaze, sticking true to her own.
This specific hurtful accusation wasn’t easily bypassed, probably ignored by someone else, but not you. Coming from you was even worse.
With a heavy heart weighing your judgment, hopelessly watching Natalie enter the cabin first.
Finding sleep that night was hard as you trekked inside the cabin, moving to your sleeping bag.
She didn’t cuddle you, bid you a goodbye kiss, or even hug you. Not exactly like you couldn’t blame her, your accusation stung.
Out of spite, she moved her sleeping bag across the room, next to Van and Tai. The other couple gave Natalie curious glances, who only ignored and turned away from them.
You huffed in annoyance, slightly hurt, and quickly settled down next to the other girl beside you, Mari.
“Don’t tell me Nat got the last word?” Mari whispered, facing you.
Rolling your eyes with a head shake, you frowned, “Yes, but it was my fault,”
“How so?” Her eyebrows furrowed, tilting her head. You fluffed the pillow, gaze dropping to the silver ring nestled perfectly on your ring finger.
The Taylor girl avoided Mari’s curious gaze, awkwardly fiddling with Natalie’s ring. It was a gift from Natalie, a ‘just because you’re still here despite all my flaws’. For gift-giving, Natalie’s insecurity is shown, lacking the money you grew up on. Yet your reassurance dwindled her insecurities about her gifts never meeting your standards. The small trinkets and handmade playlists were very unique and meaningful, her assortments neatly decorate your vanity desk.
The familiar ring kept you grounded, reminding you of the loving bond.
Would it matter if that loving bond is breakable because of your doubt in Nat?
“Jackie implied Nat was cheating with Travis, and I let her get in my head. As a girlfriend, I’m supposed to trust her, and I didn’t, now I feel so shitty.”
“Damn, maybe you are,” Mari chuckled, no bitterness evident in her tone. Yet, it stung harder hearing it from another’s mouth.
Did you truly screw up a good relationship with Natalie over your sister’s words?
“Mari, that’s not helpful in the slightest,” You whined, placing the pillow over your head. “Do you think she’ll forgive me?”
“Not so easily, but yes. She’s totally whipped for you, it’s almost adorable. Apart from the fact, you two eat each other’s faces all the time.”
“Thanks, Mari,”
“No problem. So first thing in the morning, go win over your girlfriend.”
“That’s if she talks to me,”
Mari nudges your shoulder, “C’mon, you’ll get through it,”
Across the cabin, Natalie remained awake, overhearing you and Mari’s hushed voices. Unable to fall asleep without you, her fingers absentmindedly fiddling with her star necklace, your sentimental value held tightly to her heart. Her heart swelled at the thought of your resilience, not wanting that argument to affect your steady relationship. She loved your determined mindset, always managing to win her over again.
Maybe tomorrow can be a new refresher for you two, possibly accompanying her on the morning hunt.
Or not, death can overrule a genuine apology to your girlfriend. The next morning was a dreadful one. One you’d never expected. One nobody else expected to happen. Jackie’s death. Her easy death, gone in a quick painless death.
At first, you didn’t believe the sight, hoping it was a cruel nightmare continuing to further torment your mind. Taking in your surroundings and noticing everyone’s reactions almost made you stumble over your own feet.
This winter is brutal, cold, and unwelcoming. It’s clear resentment and harsh intentions to the animals and humans alike. Winter’s first victim was your beloved sister, Jackie.
Jackie Taylor, your beloved sister, once reigning queen bee of Wisayok and Yellowjackets soccer captain, now laid motionless, already succumbed to such a trivial fate.
Jackie died outside. She died peacefully in her sleep. Yet she was alone and betrayed by her closest friend, Shauna. Shunned away from her other teammates. Not you though, you stayed faithful by her side, and grasping onto that sisterly bond gave Jackie some comfort in her last moments.
Finally breaking away from your jumbled thoughts, Shauna’s loud wailing successfully caused the bitter reality to sink. From the corner of your eyes, Natalie’s gaze never wavered, intently focused on you. She longed to reach out, holding you in your arms but her body stayed in place, refusing to smother the overwhelming emotions.
The first step of grieving was to recognize the loss. The second one was allowing you to accept your sister’s unfortunate death was an emotional turmoil meant to be endured alone. As much as it pained Natalie to stand by, being so close yet remaining so far to comfort you, she knew this way
Jackie’s unmoving body, lying in a sleeping position with closed eyes. Something about her peaceful sleeping position soothed your initial denial.
After witnessing such a tragic loss, slowly distance yourself from the other girls, returning to the warm cabin. You ignored all the pitiful looks everyone else sent, and dismissed their comforting arms.
For the rest of the day, you sat idle in the corner of the room, knees pressed up against your chest with your head buried between them. Within record time, tears pricked your eyes, instantly falling down your cheeks, never letting up after the first tears.
Instead of going hunting, at least catching some game, Natalie persisted, staying with you. Somehow the other girls convinced the bleach-blonde girl to go hunting, knowing the remorse in their stomachs wouldn’t overshadow the gnawing hunger. Mari and Van reassured her to look after you. Everyone else was doing the same, those who had indoor chores. Despite the truth, Natalie hesitantly left with Travis, attempting to find some food.
Nobody else managed to cautiously approach you, defeated by your subtle gestures of ignoring them. Not even Mari, your bestfriend, or Van, your closest friend. You didn’t allow anyone to do so, not even Shauna, whose guilty glances burned holes in the side of your head.
Deep down, you blamed Shauna for Jackie’s death. You made that well known, starting a shouting match anytime Shauna lingered too close.
Then again, that unsettling thought was unfair. How was anyone supposed to know it’d start snowing in the middle of the night? Much less, how was Shauna supposed to know?
Whatever it didn’t matter, Shauna should’ve never kicked Jackie out. Jackie should’ve never left. You should’ve brought her inside when the opportunity came.
Returning to the cabin with a few dead rabbits, Natalie discarded the shotgun and rushed to your side.
Tensions were still high between the couple from last night as the wild accusation of Nat’s loyalty lingered in the air. You felt horrible; whether it’s your sister’s frozen corpse or your harsh accusations towards your loving girlfriend.
However, Natalie couldn’t hold a grudge against you right now, especially during this time. Jackie, your sister just died and petty avoidances weren’t helping anyone.
As soon as she kneeled beside you, sitting on the floor, Natalie remained silent. Lifting your head from your knees, you stared at your sympathetic girlfriend with a saddened expression. Before reacting to her sudden presence, your stuffy nose, and tear-riddled face, Natalie observed your weak movements.
You sniffled, opening your mouth to speak but whimpered as nothing came out. Acting on pure instinct, Natalie caught your weakened body in her arms, your arms clinging to her neck, basically climbing onto her lap.
“I know, I know…” Gentle tone alongside the common reassurance of rubbing your back, coaxing more hidden emotions.
Anger. Pity. Guilt. Remorse.
Hearing her reassuring words elicited the harsh cries buried down in the back of your throat, sobs racking throughout your body. So she just held you that tragic night, staying silent and listening to your cries.
Nobody ate that same night, already consumed with the semi-guilt of Jackie’s death. With the fire crackling and slight body movements along the creaky floorboards, the cabin wrapped in eerie silence.
The second night after Jackie’s death was the hardest, you felt numb and empty. Angry at the world for giving your sister this cruel fate. Angry at Shauna for kicking Jackie out of the cabin. Generally speaking, you were furious at everything and everyone.
Refusing to talk to anyone, especially your girlfriend Natalie, had deeply hurt her. She knew your constant shutting out wasn’t intentional.
So Natalie’s been there for you, physically and emotionally, doing her best to sympathize. In the morning, she wakes up beside you, anxiously enough to check your breathing rate. Until the nightfall, tangled up in each other’s embrace with murmured kisses and tears of nostalgia. Sometimes in your sleep, memories of you and Jackie would often appear, bringing a sense of relief.
Natalie, herself, had never experienced grief. Well, she did with her abusive asshole of a father, but luckily she was an only child in her messed-up family. She couldn’t sympathize with your sister’s death.
Sure, Jackie and Natalie hardly got along, but this plane crash made them a little more comfortable. But for you, they made it work. Until an argument is made and the two girls spit vicious insults at each other. You always had to break up, preferring to stay neutral most of the time.
Best way to show her respect is by listening to your heartbroken thoughts.
“I just can’t believe she’s gone,” You cried, tightly clutching onto Natalie’s arm, terrified she’d fade away from your life. Just like Jackie, just like everyone else here.
It was a bitter reminder to acknowledge your sister’s death and change your perspectives about different possibilities. Natalie’s life is more at risk, considering she’s the main hunter and the wilderness provides many methods of dying.
In plain hindsight, the continuous nightmare of Natalie dying out in the wilderness plagued your thoughts.
“Me neither, she’s in a better place,” Natalie had to bite her tongue, keeping her real thoughts inside. She is, isn’t she? For your peace, you didn’t think otherwise.
After all, Jackie did pose a threat to your relationship, assuming Natalie wasn’t good enough for you. However, her assumptions didn’t stop, questioning Natalie about her tardiness to soccer practice, and demanding to know about her whereabouts.
Even in her final moments, she had you doubting if Natalie lacked sexual self-control.
“Why did she have to go outside? I told her to stop being ridiculous and come back inside.” You sobbed, looking at your girlfriend, “Why didn’t she listen to me, Nat?”
“Maybe because she’s stubborn, a genetic trait,” She gave a half-lipped smile, trying to ease the solemn silence. Clearly, her intended joke worked, a small smile twitching on your lips. “I know, I know…it’s going be hard grieving her, but you have to. For Jackie’s sake, yeah?” She wiped away the tears as you nodded in agreement, sniffling slightly.
“You’re right,”
“That’s my girl,” Natalie whispered encouragingly, pecking your lips.
“It’ll just be hard, how am I gonna tell our parents?” You stammered, frantic eyes barely meeting hers, panicking as tears welled up again, “They expect us to be perfect all the time, and now all that pressure is gonna be directed at me. I can’t handle that– it’s too much.”
“Hey, hey,” She gently caressed your face, momentarily halting your frantic gaze, effectively silencing any more burning questions, “Right now, just focus on your well-being. Forget about your parents, we have to survive first.”
“Will you just stay with me, I need you right now,” You whimpered, nuzzling your head into Natalie’s chest. As the tears stain her outfit, your girlfriend couldn’t care less right now. She notices the slight body tremors and nose sniffling, being more than enough to convince her. She’s never seen you this upset, so broken and crumbled into a shell from your regular outgoing personality.
“Of course,”
Approaching the two grieving girls, Shauna hesitated, glancing at Natalie before shifting over to your figure.
“Y/N...” Her voice trembled, barely mistaken as a hoarse whisper.
Natalie felt you freeze in her embrace, feeling your bated breath, “Shauna,” Natalie warns eyes snapping to the Shipman girl, “Please leave, you’re the last person she wants to see,”
Your grip tightens, hearing the subtle creak in the floorboard as Shauna shyly stalks closer. Meeting Lottie’s gaze, Natalie shook her head, “Lottie, take Shauna away,”
“They’re both grieving,”
“No shit, we all are.”
Lottie insisted, beckoning Shauna closer, “She means no harm, you know it.”
“Doesn’t mean Y/N won’t resent her.” Mari retorts, tone full of malicious intent.
“Shauna was Jackie’s bestfriend,” Lottie sternly claims.
“Y/N was Jackie’s sister, Lottie! Can you let that sink in your head?!” Natalie protested, trying to maintain her cool. At least for your sake, you needed her right now.
“She’s gonna lash out at Shauna at any moment and I’m not gonna stop her! She needs to properly grieve, the healthy way and I’m doing whatever to help my girlfriend.”
“It’s not a competition of who’s grieving Jackie the longest,”
“Nobody ever said this was a fucking competition, it’s a grieving process.” Natalie hated cursing, becoming instilled in her vocabulary.
“Y/N and Shauna need to talk alone,” Her tone firm, leaving no room for argument.
Around the cabin, the Yellowjackets stood quietly, speculating the interaction.
Luckily, Natalie was always prepared to counter several remarks, “Fuck no, that’s a disaster waiting to happen.”
Lottie ignored Natalie’s fair advice, turning to Shauna and patting her shoulder, encouraging her to talk. To talk to you. To you. As if Shauna’s presence wasn’t making your entire body rage in anger.
Oh, Lottie encouraged stupid ideas, but Natalie never recognized the full extent of it.
The same girl being comforted by her girlfriend. You, the currently emotionally unstable, handling a close sister’s death. You, who had already screamed at Shauna, blamed her for Jackie’s death. The same girl resisted the urge to snap and fight Shauna. Only because Natalie’s reassurance was working and nothing else.
Her presence made your resolve quickly diminish, all of Natalie’s gentle words becoming futile.
“Shauna, don’t you have something to say to Y/N?” Lottie’s kind suggestion seemed to calm Shauna’s nerves.
“Yeah…umm, Y/N. I think Jackie would like you to wear her necklace…”
Natalie exhaled, closing her eyes and pressing her head against the wall. Her grip remained the same, only growing tighter as she waited for your impending outburst to Shauna.
Should you be grateful that she’s giving you your sister’s necklace back because of her guilt? Bullshit, you’d land a punch if she wasn’t pregnant.
She waited. A beat of silence passed, and she waited again. Slowly opening one eye, Natalie lifted her head and stared down at your crumpled unmoving body in her arms. Quickly snatching the heart necklace from Shauna’s hand, Natalie scoffs. “Leave! Go! Scram! Fuck off Shauna, haven’t you done enough?”
“Jackie’s death isn’t my fault!” Shauna weakly defends.
“Keep telling yourself that,”
“But it could have been avoided!” You yelled, instantly breaking from Natalie and standing up. “You two could have slept in separate rooms that night, but no! Out of all the places, you just had to kick her outside in the middle of fucking nowhere! In the goddamn wilderness!”
“I already apologized, what more do you want from me?”
Wasn’t that much obvious?!
“How about you grieve like a fucking normal person?! Lottie has no jurisdiction over your conversations with Jackie’s corpse.” You argued, finding the whole ordeal ridiculous and sickening. Mostly, it was cruel and sickening.
Finding out from Taissa about Shauna’s unhealthy coping habits pestered you like none other. Now Shauna’s readjusting her limbs like some fucked up doll, talking to her and applying makeup. It was sick and unhealthy. Stuck in extreme denial, Shauna’s mind is trapped in a twisted version of dealing with Jackie’s death.
“I’ve put up with your bullshit for too long, Shauna. We’re cremating Jackie’s body tomorrow evening!”
The brunette’s eyes widened in betrayal, sending Tai an incredulous look, “You told her?”
“I had to, it’s not healthy,” Tai protests with an unreadable expression.
You scoff, “You didn’t think she’d tell me? Wow, you’re really great, Shipman,” The sarcasm flew over Shauna’s head, completely dismissing the jab.
“Stop calling me Shipman. I fucking hate it!”
“Make me! Otherwise, I’ll be another Taylor sister you unintentionally killed!”
Yikes, that kinda was uncalled for! Considering everyone’s shocked reactions, and realizing the meaning behind your bitter comment, you winced, backtracking on those words.
“Calm down guys, let’s not argue about this. Everyone has their different coping mechanisms,” Van, the group’s peacemaker, interjects.
“In a sense, nothing about this is morally right!” You yelled, the mixture of emotions wrecking your frustrated
“No, w-we can’t do that! Jackie wouldn’t want that–“
“Bullshit, and I’m not asking you! Jackie’s body is getting cremated tomorrow evening, be there or don’t!”
Lottie exchanged glances with Natalie huffing and rolling her eyes.
“Fuck off, Lottie, seriously. I’m not justifying Shauna’s twisted behavior.”
“Please…Y/N,” Shauna walked forward, attempting to salvage your strained relationship, “We can grieve together,”
“Fuck you, Shauna! Every time you interact or look at me, I’ll always remind you that my sister’s death is all your fault.”
Lottie shook her head, a comforting hand as she beckoned Shauna away from you two. Natalie stood up, realizing your outburst simmering down, and beckoned you away from the other girls. Mari handed your girlfriend two steaming bowls of food, the aroma wafting through the cabin.
“Keep it, I’m not hungry,” You stormed off into the attic, feeling overwhelmed, in the desperate need of calming your nerves down.
Hot on your trail, Natalaie followed behind, shutting the door behind her, seeing you sit on the creaky bed.
She joined you, nudging your shoulder, “Doll, you gotta eat something. This little hunger strike of yours is stressing me out,”
You groaned, coming out in a small whine and dramatically throwing your head back. She wasn’t one to be swayed by your little antics, becoming quite predictable overtime.
Natalie gave you a pointed look, passing the wooden bowl in your hands. You contemplated, sending a skeptical glance at the hot steaming bowl of food. Mari was an exceptional cook, so your hesitancy rested in actually stomaching it completely.
“I know it’s tough, but you can’t grieve if you starve yourself, I won’t allow you to,”
For a while, both girls ate their meal in silence, Natalie’s concerned gaze never strayed away until the last content of rabbit meat was gone. Afterward, she grabbed your bowl, resting it down on the nearby bedside table.
“Feeling better now you’re fed?”
Obviously, Natalie’s authoritative tone is hardly concealed, matching her cautious gaze.
“Yeah, thanks,” You drank some water, reveling in the cool liquid.
She cleared her throat, analyzing your facial features, waiting until the empty cup was discarded, “Do you want to wear Jackie’s necklace?” Your girlfriend hesitantly asked, picking up the subtle hints of lip trembles and shaky hand movements.
Nodding in silent agreement, moving aside your hair for better access Natalie places the jewelry around your neck, dangling over your chest and tightening the clasp. You clutched the necklace, bringing up it for a brief kiss as the final tears streamed down your face.
She kissed your cheek, acknowledging the semi-grievances being triggered by Jackie’s belongings. Her heart ached at the sight of her brokenhearted girlfriend, knowing her efforts were so limited.
“C’mon on doll, turn around for me. I wanna see your beautiful face,” She gently urged.
Obliging almost instantly, maneuvering yourself to face her, sitting crisscrossed.
“I don’t know what came over me,” You sniffled, averting your gaze, consumed with remorse and embarrassment, “Gosh, I feel so stupid for blaming her. My friendship with Shauna is steady enough, and she must feel so guilty. I should’ve gone easier on her and grieved together.”
The guilt weighed heavier in your heart once your realization hit. And it definitely stung harder than necessary.
Your girlfriend frowned, placing a finger underneath your chin, tilting your head to meet her gaze again.
None of this was your fault, why couldn’t you see that?
“Don’t apologize, Shauna needed to hear that. Her grieving process wasn’t healthy and Lottie only encouraged it. We’re gonna honor Jackie the right way, your way,” She corrects, nodding along to your hesitant expression. Natalie wasn’t much friends with Shauna, only in association with the soccer team. Besides that, neither girl showed any interest in being friends. It was a no-brainer that Natalie took your side in almost everything. Yet, this topic especially, Natalie witnessed your outbursts being unleashed on Shauna; it’s not like she didn’t warn the solemn brunette girl, “Whatever you decide, I’m with you.”
“You promise?” As your fingers fidget with the worn-out material of her hoodie, tugging on some sort of loose fabric.
“I promise, doll,” In response, Natalie squeezes your hands, briefly kissing the knuckles. Melting at the simple touch, a warm smile appeared, rubbing your fingers over her knuckles.
Listening to her words, you hummed, getting comfortable in the old squeaky bed. A low door knock followed by Mari and Akilah dragged your sleeping bags towards the bed.
They both hummed, sending affirmative head nods to the couple. Once the two girls leave, closing the door behind them, Natalie’s gaze returns to you. Gently gesturing you to lay onto her chest, you easily complied, desperately reaching for physical contact after last night.
She kisses your forehead, scratching the back of your head, whispering a little reassurance. As your head nuzzles further into her chest, drifting asleep in her embrace.
“Just get some rest for now,” Wiping away your dried tears, you agreed. Sleep was required after that chaotic night, maybe reserving an apology for Shauna tomorrow.
Natalie heavily sighed, wishing you wouldn’t go back on your honest words because of your sympathy.
Comfortable laying on her chest, your breathing slowed as Natalie’s fingers moved to softly wrap her arms around your waist. Between the constant switch of rubbing your back and running her fingers through your hair, Natalie revels in you. Everything about you. Just you.
Natalie’s slow and steady heartbeat, the rhythmic pace, lulling you to sleep. It was music to your ears, a constant reminder of her presence. Her very presence was a complete reassurance that your insecurities haven’t negatively impacted your relationship.
Out of all her bad habits, she never prioritized them for your relationship. Smoking, she cracked open a window so the smell wouldn’t affect you. Drinking, she properly threw the bottles away.
Your girlfriend could’ve been cruel, broken up with you on the spot, and entertained another person at your expense. Luckily, she didn’t. You’d hate to even wonder about such a possibility because living apart in the wilderness is gonna be much tougher.
Natalie’s heart raced in dedication, beating for the both of you, giving the tiniest bit of hope from recent events.
Even following these unfortunate circumstances, there’s nobody else than Natalie who prefers to be comforting. That she adored holding in her arms at night. Nobody else but you.
She is your hope, her adaptation to the wilderness sparked chances of the Yellowjackets being rescued. You represented her hope as well, more medically inclined; patching up her internal fears and wounds.
No matter what circumstance Natalie got into, your presence wouldn’t stray too far away. After her father accidentally committed suicide, she instantly drove over to your house, seeking your support. To tell her father’s death wasn’t her fault, instead meant a struggling means to an end. Your comforting voice and gentle touch made her nightmares vanish, still bearing the guilt of her father’s final moments. The last moment he spent, berating his family and dying because of his arrogance.
She asked you to dye her hair, aware of how hair holds memories, particularly bad ones. Natalie didn’t want to remember those bad lingering memories, only adding more emotional baggage than she was willing to handle.
Even when her mother had outright blamed Natalie for her father’s reckless actions– the accidental gunfire costing his life. You suggested she spend a few nights at your house, rambling about the lack of people living in a big mansion. Once again, she agreed, comfort in your warm embrace and peaceful home environment, she slept soundly in the cozy bedsheets.
Now you need her to be a supportive girlfriend, and she’d be at your side. Throughout your bad days, going silent and difficult or just crying into her. She’d be with you, doing her best to enlighten your hopes with each passing day.
Natalie proved herself wrong, slowly becoming your leaning shoulder and carefully attentive to your emotional needs. During this crucial moment, you clung to her side and her constant presence numbed down your overthinking.
Grieving was hard to properly overcome but with Natalie, the small possibility seemed clearer.
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